I found thsi interesting article in Indian website.

By Dina Rabadi

Do not date us for the “experience” of being with a “white woman.”

Too many South Asian men come to America with misconceptions about “white women.” The stereotype seems to be that “white women” have no morals, are only interested in men with money, don’t want to be married, and have no religious or family values.
Some South Asian men seem to think that because they are not at home, they can live by a different set of rules. “White women” do not have to be taken seriously. We can be used for sex, comfort and maybe even love. But when it is time to go home, or when the relationship becomes too emotionally charged, they brutally end the relationship or quickly marry someone of their nationality and religion. The “white woman” is left devastated.
I know, because I was one of them.
I was in a relationship with a Pakistani Muslim for four years while both of us were undergraduates at an Ivy League school. He was my first boyfriend, he referred to me as his girlfriend and told me that he loved me many, many times, but always added that he couldn’t marry me. His mother was expecting him to marry a Pakistani Muslim and if he didn’t, he would break her heart.
As an American Christian woman of an interracial background, I could not understand. We were compatible at every level, except for my ethnic and religious background. To me, his arguments and his family’s expectations seemed racist. My parents had taught me to look beyond race and to love someone for his character, spirit and integrity. Even if they didn’t necessarily approve of my life partner, my parents would still want me to marry the person I loved. If I were happy, they would be happy for me, and accept my partner into the family.
After going back and forth about the relationship, we broke up. He got engaged to a Muslim woman from Pakistan two months after our break up. He wrote to me about the engagement and added, “Perhaps you’ll say to yourself that I am more in love with — than I was with you. It’s not true. I can’t lie to myself.”
I was devastated.
Four years with this person whom I loved so much and knew loved me — only to have him offer up his life commitment to someone else whom he hardly knew, in such a short time. But then I realized that he did not have the character, spirit and integrity my parents had told me to look for. Otherwise he would have known that I am a woman before I am white, with feelings, hopes and dreams of my own. I’m “white” because I was born that way. I didn’t choose my race as much as he didn’t any more than he chose his nationality, family or religion. He did not enjoy being discriminated against for who he was and what he believed in; he should not have done the same to me.
As I related my story to other women, I learned that my situation was not that unusual. A 26 year-old Canadian woman working on her Ph.D. at the University of Chicago, dated a Hindu Indian investment banker for five years before he told her that their chance of getting married was nil. His parents, he finally told her, are expecting him to marry an Indian and he did not want to disappoint them. He still loves her, he added, but he could not let his family down. She too is now devastated.
This has to stop.
If you are a South Asian man considering coming to my country, or are already here, you need to realize that us “white women” are to be treated with the same respect that you give your mothers, daughters, sisters or wives. The difference in values and upbringing between the women of India and the United States does not make one better than the other.
And if you are afraid of falling in love with a “white woman,” know that your religion does allow the marriage. Your culture and your family, however, may disapprove. But that is something that you need to resolve for yourself. Don’t drag the “white woman” through your emotional turmoil while you figure it out. That is the ethically responsible thing to do.
So when you get off the plane, and see us on the street, at a party, in class, or at work, and think we are alluring, do not approach us unless you are willing to discover our values, our interests, our personality, regardless of race or religion. Do not approach us unless you are willing to commit to us if we fall in love. If you cannot commit, then leave us alone and go back home to get married. Do not hurt us by loving us then not having the courage to deal with the consequences of that love. Do not date us for the “experience” of being with a “white woman.” We are not an exhibit, carnival ride or trip to the city.

hey that's not a nice thing to say..

Title: The Courage to Love
By Dina Rabadi

Do not date us for the “experience” of being with a “white woman.”


Original Article Link:

http://littleindia.com/march2003/The%20Courage%20to%20Love.htm

well, it's gone the other way too, i'm sure. "white" women going after innocent, foreign, exotic, gullible south asian men for the experience. after they've had enough, the "white" women simply dump their former boyfriends. ki kasso?

Zalim is right. Lots of white girls played with my heart when i was in college, but you see me nowhere posting crying messages. They cheated on me, they took my money, they robbed me emotionally, financially and mentally.
Most white girls don't even look at the dark skin guys from Indian, Nepal,paki.... dating is very far away thing. See those guys could have married these white girls , make green card in 2 -3 years and dump them, but they didn't dothat.... people break up for different reasons all the time. Why blame the whole south asians for what few guys did with thier personal issues. Stupid woman.
reading this thread gives me idea llike white girls are sati sabitri.. while it's the other way around,, you guys have noticed if you have slept with a woman here in the usa that the next day they act like they've never seen you before.. like they met on a bus and are seperating after some time.. they don't even have emotions ... or they are so flacky that they can not be considered for lost lasting relationships.
they must have been after those guys for better life any way.. they must know that they have good majors in colleges and must have been after them for better future.. while they study some crappy major like anthropology or history seeking entry level position at McDonalds drive way after graduation.

Zalim Singh, yes i am happy that my girl friend is with me but she suffered a lot. She had a lot of pain. I love her so I care about her. Her life would be much better if she had not made relationship with that guy. Sujanks, f_ck you dude to call muslim good friends and calling hindus, chirstians and buddhist are worst. You are a piece of shit.

This hapens even in Nepal.
one newar guy dated one of my friends who was from Mongolian origin just to have fun. she was so much in love with him and really cared for him all the time. But then he was two timing her with another newar girl his parents chose for him and finally broke wtih my friends saying that he cannot marry another caste.

Can you imagine and he did all this knowing beforehand that he will not marry my friend and will just have fun. He just assumed that because my friend belonged to certain caste, she just wanted to have fun or was not the marrying type.

Like the values our family teaches us, Unfortunately in Nepal, India man are taught by their own family to use others emotion and show their manhood and it is fine. Some families do not mind their sons dating or even sleeping around with other girls as long as he will marry their choice of girl in the end.

We say that our culture and values are good!!! Yes, it all goes down to the respect for women.

So you guys who boast how many women you sleep around with in US remember that if you hurt a girl, you will have to pay for it someday!!!!!!!!

Although it works both ways, it's kind of sad.

Afu ta jo sanga lob paryo uii sanga bihe garne ho. Notwithstanding - cast fast sast and other stuffs beyond her/mine control. Kasam la! ;)

IndisGuise:)

P.S: Maile koi gori lai ma chu bhanera bhanya hoina ni feri :p
Oh! in english hai ta - Not that i am trying to attract any foreign, i mean - "white female."

;)

hey, how about if the girl hurts the guy....

Who can stop opportunists? they are everywhere - in relationships, in work, families, everywhere.

i am only talking about people who purposely do things with good planning of hurting other and it does exists both ways hai....

Its not an racial but a cross-cultural issue. South-Asian men who are brought up in male dominated society, have in mind that inter cultural marriage would not last.
In fact, there are quite a few Nepali men who married western girls to divorce after few years and returned to Nepal in search of Nepali bride. In Western culture, divorce has become very common thing and nowadays people are buying insurance against divorce while they get married.

In South Asian culture, its not the "love factor" that binds a marriage, but a spirituality and sense of responsibility. South Asian men ( no matter how much he freaks out) expects his marriage last till his death bed.

Its not easy for South Asian Men ( brough up in South Asia) to marry a girl from different culture and society and even you marry, its not easy to continue it. Even knowing this, if one develops relationship and later dumps her showing the cultural differences or whatever, its not good.

A friend of mine, who was a Tour Guide and now a Director of Travel Company in Kathmandu had several relationships with foreign women, American, European, Asian and finally with a Polish girl, he was in serious relationship. The girl stayed with him for more than 4 months in Kathmandu but he was the "jetho chhoro" of a Brahmin family and his mother was a hardline woman and would not accept her as his "buhari" and so my friend sent her "love" back to her country and within a couple of weeks, he got married with a Nepali girl.

If you ever say you love her, you don't bring your parents or relatives or culture in between. One should not date the western girls for an experience or pleasure.

If one says that I love you but can not marry you, he is a liar.

true, but i am not dating a nepali girl anymore, may be get married, but not girlfriend bullshit... i am sticking with my 19 year old russian, for some time... we both know, we are not getting married. so, it's okay

This ain't you dude, your age is talking. You will see when you get older. You will see.

Laura thanks for posting that article here. For once we get to hear a different perspective. There is a dai in our midwest region, I won't mention the city's name just because many people might know who I am talking about. So the story goes:
He married a white girl, we don't know if it was for love or papers.
His parents wrote to him saying, "We know you are marrying the girl for papers so as soon as you get it, come to Nepal and marry the girl we choose".
What a thing to say. A parent teaching their child to treat a foreign girl's life equal to a piece of paper. Can't expect him to learn anything differently unless he's mature enough to come out of the whole race thing.
There are Nepalis who have married Whites/ foreigners for love but what I am trying to say is, parental upbringing and culture plays a big role.

PS: I don't know if the dai left the girl after getting his papers and followed his parents' wishes.

Laura,
While I'm sad to hear the story, I'm pissed with the article that Nepali are compared with Paki. There're the difference of hell and heaven between us. They're 100% sure they'll marry Muslim. Nepali are more open than that. If you have not seen, let me inform you this that there are many Nepali living happily around the world with wifes/ husband of different race and nationality, many of them in the US.
When it comes to getting married to another race, Nepali (though not perfect) are more open than Pakis. PERIOD.

How old do you think i am, big guy?

I my point of view....

Whether Asian girl, western girl or Arabian girl… all are same human being…. They have feeling… they get hurt… they have value and respect their own.

Important things is that These guys who went to aboard for higher education and do this kind stupid things are only excuses by blaming their parents, religion and culture.

Girls must be very careful from these crooks people with mentally and physically sick.

They must pay their price whatever they deserve to pay. It is just a matter of time.

Crime will be on your blood, you can not escape.

I truly agree with "Meera"

There is a Nepali guy who goes to Canada and makes a foreign girl friend. In few years, this guy have baby from her. But finally he just abandons to her and his baby and goes to Nepal and marry youth innocent girl from innocent family. Nepali girl and her parent do not know about he has a baby from another foreign lady. He might marry with foreign girl for some paper or some wealth but it is not clear. So he has baby and girl friend one hand and he marry innocent Nepali girl other hand.

How you guy look at this a Nepali pathetic moron sick looser?

pANDITRAJ:

CAN YOU TELL WHICH HAND WAS HE MARRIED TO THE CANADIAN LADY ? WAS THAT A RIGHT HAND OR LEFT HAND? HOW CAN HE HOLD THREE PEOPLE IN HIS TWO HANDS??



PS: FOR MAJAK

I don't know how old are you but you are not old enough to think like mature.

SheetalB:

Imma Newar lookin for a Mongolian, is your friend still available?