Mine is:

A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail, but your best friend is the one sitting next to you saying "that was f***ing awesome"

Best quote will get surprise prize. Keep them coming.

"When I die, bury me upside down, so the World can kiss my Ass".

"True friends are like diamond, very precious and rare.
False friends are like autumn leaves, found everywhere."

"If you love something, set it free.
If it comes back it is yours. If it doesn't, it never was yours."

.wanna put two quotes i had read in one of my frens room long time back and still is my all time favorite.

" Virginity is lack of oppurtunity"

" Having poor father is destiny, having poor father-in-law is stupiditiy"

cheers!

Statistics are like girl's skirt, they reveal more than they hide.

"Nobody dies virgin. Life fu(ks you up any way."

अभागि ले हग्न बस्यो, बार्ह हात् को घोचो पस्यो।

.

In the mean time,

'If you want to walk fast, walk alone. If you want to walk far, walk in group'

"You can dip Orang-utan in tipex but it can not be polar bear."

I've been reading so much about the bad effects of drinking, smoking, over-eating and sex that I have finally gave up reading.

FFL-

F**K me, FEED me and LEAVE me alone

i like amit n ssny. its funny.

Giving up smoking is very easy, i have given it up many times in my life.

LiFes have Up and Down!
What Goes uP may Come down!

Beer - helping white people dance since 1837

"Man wants but little and is easy to please........But Woman,bless her heart,wants everything she sees"-UNIVERSAL TRUTH!!!
Well on second thought i'd say "When the child is grown,the dream is gone"

" There are only 2 things in this world, one is HOLE and another is POLE....when the POLE enters the HOLE it becomes डामाडोल "

Here is my favorite ...
"I guess sins can be absolved when the victim becomes the healer."
- Sum_off

“When you cry in an empty room, it echoes, and that echo only reminds you that you are the one who is crying. There is no bigger grief than you listening to you grieve.”

-Sum_off
Case 1273:Divyeswori Pandey

Doctor:
A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you
with his bills.

Cigarette:
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one
end a fool on the other.

Compromise:
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that
everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Dictionary:
A place where success comes before work.

Conference Room:
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and
everybody disagrees later on.

Classic:
A book which people praise, but do not read.

Smile:
A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office:
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home
life.

Yawn:
The only time some married men ever get to open their
mouth.

Etc. :
A sign to make others believe that you know more than
you actually do.

Committee:
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to
decide that nothing can be done together.

Lecture:
An art of transferring information from the notes of
the Lecturer to the notes of the students without
passing through "the minds of either"

Conference:
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number
present.

Experience:
The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb:
An invention to end all inventions.

Diplomat:
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way
that you actually look forward to the trip.

Opportunist:
A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally
falls into a river.

Optimist:
A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in
midway "See I am not injured yet."

Divorce:
Future tense of marriage.

Miser:
A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Father:
A banker provided by nature.

Criminal:
A guy no different from the rest....except that he got
caught.

Boss:
Someone who is early when you are late and late when
you are early.

Politician:
One who shakes your hand before elections and your
confidence after.