We are afraid to die. To end the fear of death we must come into contact with death, not with the image which thought has created about death, but we must actually feel the state. Otherwise there is no end to fear, because the word death creates fear, and we don't even want to talk about it. Being healthy, normal, with the capacity to reason clearly, to think objectively, to observe, is it possible for us to come into contact with the fact, totally? The organism, through usage, through disease, will eventually die. If we are healthy, we want to find out what death means. It's not a morbid desire, because perhaps by dying we shall understand living. Living, as it is now, is torture, endless turmoil, a contradiction, and therefore there is conflict, misery and confusion. The everyday going to the office, the repetition of pleasure with its pains, the anxiety, the groping, the uncertainty - that's what we call living. We have become accustomed to that kind of living. We accept it; we grow old with it and die.

To find out what living is as well as to find out what dying is, one must come into contact with death; that is, one must end every day everything one has known. One must end the image that one has built up about oneself, about one's family, about one's relationship, the image that one has built through pleasure, through one's relationship to society, everything. That is what is going to take place when death occurs

I'm not afraid of death; but dying scares the hell out of me.
Jack Cleary

:D

no i am not afraid of death but i am afraid of nepali gurls especially in US

I am not afraid of death but i am afraid of people i love dying thats the only thing that scares the shi* out of me
peace

Death is a very beautiful tool for me. Due to certainty of death, I can make myself free from all the cravings and attachments, to experience Freedom/Godliness. I can foresee myself on the pyre...

yes i am :s

Pagal dude! you are pagal for sure dude...why the hell do u have to post that pic.....:S geez so scary

Interesting stuff Paradox. Looks like you are quite an existentialist thinker.

For me, death per se is not as frightful as losing someone I love, to death. Now THAT is a thought that really scares me - to accept the reality that someone who was living, breathing, laughing, crying, fighting, loving, and doing much more is no more. I admire those who have gone through such pain and lived on despite their immense loss. I wonder if I will ever be able to bear seeing a loved one end up as the one in Paagal's picture.

As a psychologist, I often deal with the mixed views on Freudian theories, not just academically but on a personal level as well. While most of his theories have become either rejected or heavily revised, I cannot help but to be drawn to his incredible insight into dreams and what they can reveal about our inner feelings and thoughts. I have often believed myself to be unafraid of my own death. That's why I said earlier that death per se is not frightful to me. It's a reality I have reconciled with. But last night, I had a curious dream where I found myself hanging from the 4th floor of a building, in danger of falling, possibly to my death. In hindsight, I don't think I could've died falling from the 4th floor -- perhaps had massive injuries but death is less probable. But what jarred me was the absolutely fantastic fear that gripped "me" in the dream. I found myself saying frantically, "I don't wanna die! I don't wanna die." I can feel the vibrations of that fear in me even as I write!

I was saved by some construction workers in an interesting twist to the dream which I don't want to bore you all with. But I woke up thinking "Geez, I really am afraid of death after all," with a true Freudian fervor for dream interpretations. So, I guess on a primitive level, which is what dreams are supposed to reflect, I do view death with trepidation. I don't want to overgeneralize, but am tempted to think that perhaps on this primitive level most of us do possess this fear of our own death as well. We may mask this fear with agility for different reasons, but if confronted with a threatening situation, I am sure most of us, if not all, will at least flinch in the face of death!

Some people say that those who fear death are those who love life to death. So, does it mean that those who proclaim otherwise in fact hate life? Now that's an interesting thought, isn't it?? : )

i'm not olny scared of the physical process of dying but also "just not existing anymore". and i see where ppl say that "death of someone you love is scarier than your own death". i might just be selfish but it's not that way for me...i mean there are a whole group of people that u love..some u love more than others...so if something happens to one of them, there are still other people that make your life worthwhile...i mean in a sense we go on living ....sure, you're gonna miss the person thats gone n all...tara if i'm dead myself...it's like losing all the people i love ...all at once...it means that i'll never get to experience what might have come...no more beautiful mornings, no more rain, no more holding hands, no more lazy sunday mornings, NO NOTHIN!!! but i guess once u're dead it won't matter.... tara pani to think about it right now ..i'm scared...

Simplegal -

A very in-depth analysis - thanks for sharing. I wanted to share a couple of thoughts running through my mind right now

- A lot of us , at some level, are often fascinated by our morbidity. Not least of all because it seems to run counter to everything else about life. I guess there is a bit of cognitive dissonance, if that's the correct term, in the minds of many people between trying to live life to the fullest and be happy on one hand, and reconciling that with the tension and discomfort of death on the other. That is what my mind is trying to process and internalize these days.

- Also, it is so true that survival is such a strong instinct, and that strength combined with a love of life, is what makes it hard for people to embrace death like you and others pointed out. What is interesting to me is how we go through the stages from denial to anger to a few others and finally acceptance and how important it is for people to accept, if not embrace, death in order to truly appreciate and life and live it to the fullest.

- To the last point, while you need to accept death, you cannot be so fearful of it that you stop living your life. I personally feel I should make merry while the oxygen still flows through my system. People who have chosen to renounce the world and develop detachments from family and loved ones at an early age, lets say in their late twenties or early 30s, also fascinate me - this is another subject running through my mind these days and I am curious to know if anyone has studied the thought processes of folks who make such a decision.

Just some random thoughts.

Thanks again for your insights everyone.

wow , this thread got life again.

Hi SimpleGal, thanks for such a nice comment.
Death is really scary although its completly unknown to us. Are we really afraid of death or about the idea about the death we have in our mind. I am not so sure, i am not psychologisit, but i have great interest on it. We really never think what we are and how we are living. we seem all the time struggling for something, to become something which means we are costantly denying what we are at the present. We are gathering so many things physical and psychological, so may ideas and thoughts. One day , we intelectually know death comes and it takes all we have gathered , cultivated. A complete peaceful end.
Sometimes i feel its really beautifull but again i dont want lose my identity,i want to continue what i am although i constanly try to deny, reject what i am now , while living.
it seems to me we human being are great paradox.
Hahaha

.

I don't fear death but death is afraid of meh......

-rockend

When death comes you won't have time to be afraid. Trust me!

haha!!!!!!! LOL..........

then ask the person who knows he is going to die tomorrow...... I mean a cancer patient........ how will he/she feel........ or any patient who knows he/she is dying......

you are wrong so called birbhadra........

I am sure bir bhadra wasn't afraid of death......... I am proud of him.........
he fought for his country.......

BirBhadra Ji ko kura ramro lagyo......Death does not come with formal invitation.....when it comes, it comes........and takes us away.....we will never know how it was, or how we felt........Its another thing, if you have some kind of disease, and is suffering, then, your death is your pain.....for those in pain, death is better than ur sufferings.......mero 2 paisa ko kura ho....bujne lai srikhanda, nabujne lai khurpa ko bid.....

OK! i died a hundred times and i felt death every then.. and still , i am scared i go through the same feelings always!!!

i feel the death - elf

As the music passes by my soul
i think of days i let go
when nobody was never me
God helped me go out of it
People talkin' about me now
Shit people, who cares 'em anyway
i lie on my bed with my last breath
forever and a lifetime , a grace i had to meet
all my life, kept waiting
now dont have no life anymore
i saw her again the last time
loosened hair, touchin' my senses
this was the time i closed my eyes
feared to open or i wouldnt see her
There was dew still
from the morning
and behind me the people
announced my death!

Bear me with my writing; I am bad in expressing in writing,

I will talk about my two experiences that are related to death.

1.
Once, when I smoked pot, I was physically not in a good condition to smoke but I did. I smoked more than 4 times I would smoke to get stoned when I were in healthy state. I thought I was going to die and was scared like hell. That day I experienced some changes in feeling that has changed my life thereafter.

When I smoked too much, my heart beat went exceptionally fast, was like 110/min. my normal is between 80-85/min. I tried to sleep, but I could hear it in my head, I stood up, still I could hear. I tried to think on some other topics, but I was unsuccessful. As the नसा got higher and higher, I eyes got drier, mouth was dry, hands went pale, face went pale. I drank some water, still my mouth was dry. And later, I started having cotton-mouth. I had heard that cotton-mouth is a sign of body physiology going down. I got fu(king scared. शरिर लुलो भो । I was scared of dying. And this fear exacerbated the weakness of body. Physical pain while dying was not of much concern as I believed that I will pass out and go numb soon. The following is the conclusion of the feeling of that day. I call this a revelation.

Yes I fear death. And that is the feeling I have deep inside me. As somebody said earlier, even when I am writing about this, the topic itself is enough to make me feel awkward. My perception to person like birbhadra is, they are scared enough to think on it, so they chose to ignore it.


Why I feared death? I think that I have a lot more to do, which I consider as duty of a man. To do what? To pay the debt to my parents for bringing me up, mind you, it is not for giving me life. Because, did I ever wished to come to life? as far as I can think, reason or remember, no. They just gave birth to a child and it happened to be me. Coming into life was not my choice, nor was it their choice to bring 'me' into life instead of somebody else. It was just coincidence that happened that brought me here. But, after I came into existence, it was due to their help that I grew up. Once I got consciousness, I wanted to live and see the world, (why see? May b just curiosity since I was already here) and the parents helped me to grow so that I can fulfill that want (to see the world). I want to repay for their help so that I am free of any responsibility to them. When I am free, from the debts, I can go on my own. Though it was/is the parents who played the major part, there are others as well who helped in growing up, physically and mentally. So, they also deserve the repay for the time and effort they spent on me. Its not the love that makes me closer to them. Its the feeling of duty to repay (I do not know why I cannot be independent without repaying, may be its the basic law of nature: independent means without debt of any sort). If these people die, colloquially termed as ‘loved ones’, my wish to repay will be unfulfilled, and I will have to live ever in debt. It is this that makes me sad when these people die.

How do I repay? I do not know for everything. But, like I want to be independent, I believe that they also want to be independent, ie personally independent. So I would like to help them to be independent, which would be my repay. They were unable, like me, to be independent because they themselves have their debt. Since I do not know what exactly their debt includes, I try to ease their environment so that they will be in better state to repay their debt. I guess (ya, it is a damn big guess) that giving, or trying to give, whatever they want, would make them more ‘themselves’ and independent. Money, health, bringing up other ‘bodies’ (their children) that they have/are bringing to the world, are some of the spots, I think, that is preventing them from being independent themselves. When they are free from their debt, they will be independent, when they will be independent, I will be independent. At that state, there will be no relation between them and me. BUT, its never going to happen that they will be free from their debts, and hence I. So I am entangled in this mess.

Same is the case if I die early, I will feel that I could not repay my debt.


2.
I usually have a problem sleeping if I do not sleep on time. I feel sleepy but I cannot really sleep. I will be in तन्द्रा state where I feel that I am awake but actually I am dreaming. At such times, sometimes, I feel like moving but I cannot move myself. If I try to shout, I cannot even speak. At that time, what I feel is, my mind is awake but my body is not in my mind’s control. Then I think of death. What if death is like that, your mind working but body is unable to do anything. Like, you had one accident, and you die. People gather, they take you in an ambulance to the hospital. A doctor does post mortem of your body. But, what if, the death means that your mind is still working and you see and feel them going through all this. You see doctor doing your own post mortem. What if you feel the pain during all this but just that you cannot express yourself that you feel all this, that you see all this? Everytime I go through that state while sleeping, I get scared from death.
In the back of my mind, I feel happy of being a hindu, they will burn you down soon after you die, so u will have no body to feel the pain. Man, if I will get cancer of HIV or like that, I will blow myself with a suicide bomb.

"Do you know what it means to come into contact with death, to die without argument? Because death, when it comes, does not argue with you. To meet it, you have to die every day to everything: to your agony, to your loneliness, to the relationship you cling to; you have to die to your thought, to die to your habit, to die to your wife so that you can look at your wife anew; you have to die to your society so that you, as a human being, are new, fresh, young, and you can look at it. But you cannot meet death if you don't die every day. It is only when you die that there is love. A mind that is frightened has no love - it has habits, it has sympathy, it can force itself to be kind and superficially considerate. But fear breeds sorrow, and sorrow is time as thought.

So to end sorrow is to come into contact with death while living, by dying to your name, to your house, to your property, to your cause, so that you are fresh, young, clear, and you can see things as they are without any distortion. That is what is going to take place when you die. But we have a limited death to the physical. We know very well logically, sanely, that the organism is going to come to an end. So we invent a life which we have lived of daily agony, daily insensitivity, the increase of problems, and its stupidity; that life we want to carry over, which we call the "soul" - which we say is the most sacred thing, a part of the divine, but it is still part of your thought and therefore it has nothing to do with divinity. It is your life!

So one has to live every day dying - dying because you are then in contact with life."

Hi, Its not my words. Its JK is lectures!

" .......So to end sorrow is to come into contact with death while living, by dying to your name, to your house, to your property, to your cause, so that you are fresh, young, clear, and you can see things as they are without any distortion. That is what is going to take place when you dieTo meet it, you have to die every day to everything: to your agony, to your loneliness, to the relationship you cling to; you have to die to your thought, to die to your habit, to die to your wife so that you can look at your wife anew; you have to die to your society so that you, as a human being, are new, fresh, young, and you can look at it............"


यहाँ उल्लेख र मेरो आसयमा death को परिभाषा मा भिन्नता भएछ । मैले ज्यान मर्नुलाइ सम्बोधन गर्ने प्रयास गरेको थिए, which is different from death of ideology, thought, pain or anything like that.

Newfoundglory,

anticipation of death is different from death itself.