iIn my mother’s fetus, my idea of the world would have been very different. In my non invaded world, I must have had magnificent desire of being a part of so called wonderful world. My parents being a proud Nepalese, I was born a proud Nepali citizen with an affectionate feeling for my country.
My toy world was great. Being the first born child in my family, I was overwhelmed by the shower of love and care by my family and the relatives. I got all the toys I could get and I did not sense a bit about what I will feel growing up in my own country which was deteriorating politically, economically and socially.
I was imposed with the idea of how Nepal is great for having the highest mountain in the world and for being the birth place of Buddha. I heard that all my life. My world was so little and narrow. I learned how Nepal is unique among most of the countries for being the only Hindu Kingdom(which is a history now) in the world and how we should be proud of our only one of its kind cultures and the architectures. Most of the times, I felt “wow†and privileged. I did not compare my life with any body else’s in the world since I thought I was content with my identity of being a Nepali.
As I grew older, my little world was not a little world anymore. I was in the process of being a responsible citizen of Nepal as others are. I opened up my eyes and started looking around, I see myself drowning in the thoughts of the real world. The more I knew about Nepal, the more miserable I started thinking. My little world which now I call “the ignorant world†or the “innocent worldâ€, got burst like a bubble in the air. I was not in the world surrounded by the walls of mirage anymore. There were “monsters†everywhere.
I came to US . I was so excited to see the other part of the world. I did breathe the sense of freedom. Now, I was on my own to decide the fate and the direction my life. I did never imagine that I would meet so many Nepalese in the US. To be honest, I met all kinds of Nepalese here. One kind is so patriotic that after finishing their studies they are definitely going back to Nepal to be the part of country’s progress. The other kinds are talkers and not the doers. They have high hopes and dreams but I doubt if they can make it. Some are in the middle of making up their minds.
My struggle in this new country helped me to explore myself and the other Nepalese as well. When I came here my biggest dream was to learn things and apply my education and experience back home. I had these good feelings that the political instability and the Maoist problems are short lived problems in Nepal. I did not know it is going to get worst day by day. At one point I was so proud to introduce myself as Nepali to these people. I would invite them to visit me in Nepal and experience the south Eastern culture. Now when I meet any Americans, I think twice before giving them any invitations to visit Nepal.
A dream of all the Nepalese of Better Nepal has turned out to be a bitter reality. My mind is struggling with a burning question, who is responsible for all these situations? Are those politicians playing games with the destiny of Nepal and the Nepalese? Are we, all the people or I rather say “Nepalese†not responsible for the fate of their motherland which ultimately decides their destiny? These are the question which I strongly feel should be answered by all the Nepalese in their heads and minds not being influenced by any other external factors.
Nepal is blessed with intelligent people. Nepalese have minds of being all the greatest scientists, engineers, leaders, doctors and they also have the capability of being the most responsible citizens of Nepal as all the other people in the world. What I think, we Nepalese are lacking is the spirit of being independent and not been able to escape from the virtual reality created by the society and the culture.
My question is, can we justify ourselves just by saying we have the Mount Everest or we are the children of the enlightened one- “lord Buddhaâ€. Are those the only identities we Nepalese have in the whole world? I came across many Nepalese here and if they are to introduce themselves to any strangers, those are the only two things they identified themselves with. My point here is, are we doing anything to make Buddha pound of all the Nepalese? Of course we do have the highest mountain, now what? Could we invite the maximum visitors to enjoy the breathtaking panorama of the Everest? Whose fault is it anyways? We are so gifted with nature, resources but could we benefit our country with any of these? Now, what is left to be proud of?
The flight of manpower in search of better future has left our motherland bare. And the flight of villagers to the town for good living has made our city overpopulated. There is this trend going on in Nepal for how long and are any of us taking this matter seriously? The young generation with new zeal and the enthusiasm rather work at the lower level jobs in foreign countries than to come back and serve the country. Is not that the big dilemma our motherland?
We cannot fulfill people’s hunger by all the lectures on cultures and the images of the Mount Everest. They need food, jobs in order to survive. We are having the worst economy in the world. If we do not want to be isolated with rest of the world, we do need to learn form other countries and move on rubbing our shoulders with them. After all we all are human beings and we have all the rights to live our lives as others are living…if they can do it then we can do it too. Being a small land lock country we might not be able to overcome all the limitations if we bring our hands together with clean intensions, even a little accomplishment would make our life better.
