As much good as I have in my life right now, I have never felt such a wide variety of emotions: good or bad. While I am so happy with ongoing job, new opportunities shaping up, new surroundings emerging and feel happiness beyond what I have ever felt in my life, it is a pendulum and I sometimes and many times swing to the exact opposite of that euphoria and feel total despair, loss, and I feel alone — completely and totally alone.

They tell you you should not worry about having a girlfriend. You should just have fun with your friends, get out and eventually you'll meet one. Well, don't believe it. Especially when you've have had girlfriend in past and now you are alone, this loneliness kills. Even your close friends' presence can not compensate the not-having-a-girlfriend-status.

I think first of all you've got to have some friends to do that. Second of all those friends have to have other single friends for you to meet. But that seems awkward to do so at this age...lol

It's been almost a year since I've had a real girlfriend. . That's what I am getting for *not* worrying about it.

The other advice I've heard is to *DO* something that gets you near other people that have like interests. The typical examples being things like office, church, sports, clubs (bowling, chess, tennis, dancing etc.) Where's the video games club or the internet club or the computer club? Sorry but although it might be fun to bowl, if that's the only thing we have in common it's not gonna work. And worse, every time I've tried one of those things there's nobody I'm interested in or that's even close to a match.

Actually I suppose I do believe it. I just don't know how to *get out*. What am I supposed to do? Wherethe hell do I go to make new friends? I really haven't a clue. Do I just go to some bar and try to pick somebody up? It doesn't seem like the place to make friends especially girl-friends....ooopssss...just clueless....

-sp

LOL. in most cases, the most cherishable relationship comes to your life when you are least expecting it. could be easier said than done but i guess post break-up time is the best time to upgrade your career status because you won't have the girl to waste your time with. seriously! focus on your career when you are single. give 110% to your job while you have no one to call and say: "love you hon" 100 times a day of which 90 times you don't even mean HAHAHA...

there's much to life than girlfriends this and that blah blah hahaha. friends you can find everywhere. just be yourself, mingle with your colleagues, have them with you in lunch hours and holidays, share your personal views, open up with people you meet. it's a wonderful feeling to be an eligible bachelor, i tell you :P

all the best my friend :D

Spreadlove, I think you are going through something that is quite normal! Once someone gets out of a relationship, it is not unusual to feel like you need someone to be there for you... and one year without a girl is not really that bad! I think if you look around for a girl to be with, you are just going to end up with someone who might not be the right one for you. Like loote said, the most cherishable relationship comes to your life when you least expect it. I dont think actively seeking a girl would be the solution to your problems. It would bring you instant gratification, but might not be the solution in the long run! Engulf your self in the environment around you.. and slowly it will be alright! (Dont get depressed because you are getting the same advice!:P)

Mr Spreadlove,

I probably missed to catch the exact sense when u were refering that you havent had any real girlfren for almost a year now, but judging at a glance, u seem like a smart guy, who has a decent market value as well. So, correct me if i am wrong, it seems like that you did not even take the battlefield for the past one year, did you?

After going through your post and the two reflections,i would say, you are right. I have been in your spot and have listened to all the advice the world had to offer, but as u said, nothing can fill the hole that u have. Depends on people, i would say, who they are and how they want to be. May be i was a loner amidst all the crowds of frens and others, but i did not chose to be one.

Anywho, getting back to the present, as far as my understanding supports me here, u are a smart guy with a decent job and better opportunities on the door, you should not have had any problems if you had approached the gurls, unless you are ugly. But it should not even matter, as long as you dont have a huge lump in your face or anywhere else or herpes :P which i dont believe is the case here. So, is it the self-confidence???

Go meet some gurls, dont ask for sex the very first time you meet her though (jk). Be patient, be friends, take her out to a nice dinner, and before you know she is your new gurlfren..... and u guys live happily ever after ....LOL

** second para, first line - After going through YOUR post and ....

Spreadlove, I imagine there are more than a million people invariably feeling the same loneliness you are feeling at this moment. You ask me for a solution, and I don't have one. It would be hard to be in someone else's boot and feel the way they feel
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Opposite attraction, at first, was like a mystery to me. Did I just not have the chemistry to get someone I liked? Or was I just that ugly that even the closest mirror in a1 km proximity range would shatter during my presence. Love is in the air. You must have seem them, down the street, on the elevator, at work, like lovebirds they fall upon each other, unknown of the propaganda that is heating up outside their cute little world. Where had I been all these years? It seemed like my nephew had more experience than me when it came to handling women.

Well, enough of the story. I learned to be myself, be polite, have a good reason for doing things, and not speak like a stove waiting to explode. Take chances with women, go that extra mile to make them happy. If you don't start it, nobody else will. Take a step forward and earn it. In a few weeks, or even months you'll find your lucky charm and then all of this will disappear like it never happened. Imagine yourself there and take the right steps.... Nobody else can help you as much as you can help yourself. Take care and good luck!