Ive been regular viewer of Sajha for last 5 years and today I have decided to share my personal story to sajah members as my privacy will be secured here. I was keepin it for many many years within myslef.  Its the story which I have not told to anyone, even the best of the best friends of mine are unware of it. I decided to write it up here. Ive just writtien it randomly so excuse the spellings, grammars, structures and it is also my firsrt posting

Regards
Roshani Ko Jyan

-------------------

I have just returned back fom Nepal, it was a good visit after 5 long years. During 4 weeks visit the most pleasant moment came when I met Roshani.. She was still the same, long silky hair, slim body, tilted yet beautiful nose and reserved nature. Roshani Sharma is the girl whom  I have loved more than anyone else in life. We studied together for 6 years from class 5 to SLC. And it was the first time I was meeting after SLC, that means it took whole 10 years to meet her. Nobody on earth knows how badly I was waiting for this moment.
 ----------- 

Back in early 1990s when I was studying in class five, three new students came to our class, people used to talk that one of them was really talentd and a first girl of boarding school. I was little nervous as I was the first boy of the class. Ours was a very ordinary government school somewhere in Gorkha. As I hailed from very poor family, those new students with clean clothes look so beautiful. Since then I started liking Roshani. She was very talented and beautiful too. That was my first love, innocent love in those tender age where I did not even have clue what really that was. However I felt so happy every time I saw her.

For the first time in life I became second by meager 4 marks but I was very happy for Roshani, she surpassed me but I didnot know why I was happier than her. they were transferred to sarkari school as boarding school where they were studying got closed as students were not enough. She was from bazaar area, her house was just few minutes from school and her family were one of the richest in that area. They owned 2 trucks and a huge kapadako dokan (fancy pasal) whereas I was from pari gaun, and from very poor family. I always dreamt of having chappal but had to manage with RASILE BAHDEKO CHAPPAL. No money to buy anything.
 

Everyone in school was talking about Roshani, she has not only become class first but also Whole first (School first). Time went on and I liked her more and more. Perhaps I have never liked anyone like I did to her. She used to stay in second bench, I always used to sit just near to her, when sir was teaching my eyes were glued to her. When I remember these things now I really donot know what happened me when I was merely 11.

Time went on, we were on class 9, she was first and me second. In those days, they only had TV in that area, everyone used to listen her guff in leisure period, I still remember when they talk about Philips Top 10 and Zee Horror Show, Tara, Swabhiman, Waqt Ki Raftar, Fauji, Close up Antakshari etc etc.

We used to talk rarely and other friends thought we were DUSHMANs as we were fighting for first position but that was not true. I had willingly sacrificed first position for herOur total no difference used to be not more than 10-15 marks, and knowingly I never did Maths exam well. . She was weak in Mathematics but I was mastermind.  She has never scored more than 70 and I could have easily got 95 or even 100. But I never got more than 50, it was calculating exam for me, just for her sake. And she was unaware of it.

Saturdays used to be the longest day for me as I could not go to school, in other way I could not see her. Next day I would go to school just to get her glance. Sometimes I went Bazar just thinking if I could see her. As I was also good looking guy, many friends (esp girls in class) wanted to get close with me, but in my mind there was nothing than Roshani. In our tiffin break students used to have 1 rupiyako motor tarkari and dunot in nearby hotels but she used to go home as her house was pretty close. I waited in classroom until she made a move and came back earlier before her arrival.

Sometimes we used to exchange note books and she asked me for some Maths help, ‘Eikik niyam’/unitary method  was the most difficult for her so I taught her many times and it was great chance to be with her. Forget about talking, even by seeing her or sitting in same bench made me the happiest man at least for whole day.

I must confess, I loved her and I could have done anything for her. It was so pure love, I wanted nothing in return. I just loved unconditionally. If she had asked my life, I would have easily sacrificed. I donot know how to explain. Few times we went together to take part in HAJIRI JAWAF and SPELLING CONTEST to other schools and I still cherish those moments, perhaps those memories will never fade away from my life. Sittling in same bus (not even same seat) made me so happy. I felt sooooooooooooooooo delighted.

I have had no idea what she felt about me, I think she never thought in that way, or she did? God knows or even if God does not know, it does not matter. But I truly loved her. Exam days used to be the most colorful days for me not because I cared about good results but I would get chance to sit with her. Being a first girl she always got in first bench and me just next to her. We had longer communication before exam started, she used to share how hard she was studying and always feared of me. In return I always enjoyed her company, relaxed and I kept listening everything she said. I was never bothered abt exams. Even after exam started I just kept watching her from behind, she had a wonderful long silky hair. Just to touch her I excused of asking ruler/compass and other things, that was also true I did not have geometry box.

Thigns kept changing but my love was same, as pure as morning dew. I loved her more than anything else in the world. Now she was in great fear that I would be first as we had to take 2 exams on Mathematics (OPT Math and Compulosry math) but foolish she was, I never let her be second, I did averagley OK in both the subjects, I mean I got hardly 110 out of 200, that was my intention to make her first.  Then out of shock I became third in class. Roshani was first, the other girl stood second. I was not happy myslef but she was happy, I could not ask more than that.

 

I was thinking to say that I love you but in those days I never could get courage. Every night I saw her in my dream and the next morning I cursed why should I have woken up so early. Even in my dreams she was so sweet. To say frankly she was average looking girl but for me she was more than Monalisa and Cleopatra. Perhaps that’s the real love and Passion.

 

Ours was a Sky blue shirt and blue pant (school dress), I only had one pair that too swed in class 7 and I was already in 10, appearing for SLC. It was very tight But Roshani used to change the dress every now and then. I did have nothing except those old dress. But she used to wear Sun ko sikri, all talked in school that, it was made up of  ek tola. She looked so wonderful on that golden chain. The day I came to know the price of that gold chain I quit dreaming about  her, there was a class barrier. Moreover she was upadhya bahun and I was Shakya (a Newar). But deep down in my heart I loved her immensely. But I loved her so secretly that nobody even had a clue of it. So far nobody knows the truth.  How hard I tried it was not goin to be materilaised, she would have not accepted me that’s why I did not even think of expressing my unconditional love to her. I was just happy seeing her, everyday, sometimes in school and other days in dream.

We passed SLC, and moved to Chitwan, I did my Inter there, I heard Roshani went Pokhara. No contacts, I could not even meet her. I tried but she was not at home. That was very daring to visit her house just to see her, as her FAMILY were a kind of JAMINDAR and TYO AREA kaa sahu. But I did not fear anything just went, but all in vain.

There was no interent in our times so we remained out of communication, perhaps she was least bothered about me but I was always remembring her. I was away from all our school friends circle so there was no connextion at all. I spent few years in Kathmandu, I heard from some friends that she was studying in Pokhara but no contact at all.
 

Then I left Nepal, and just last month when I went home after 5 years, we met in Kathmandu……..We spent 7 hours together in Dubar Marg Nanglo.

----------I will write everything soon-------

Awesome true story by Roshni ko jyan. Everyone in this thread had literally suggested you to go ahead and take a chance. I think not a bad idea, atleast you will know what she really think about you if you tell her truth. She might say yes or she might say no. If she says no , chances are there are two reasons. One she only see you as good friend or she cant hurt her parents feeling.  Atleast you could move ahead with your life and find someone else who is destined for you. But the real turn around is possible if she say yes. Even if she say yes then there could be possibiltiy of two end result. One is happy and other is tragic. Happy ending if she  break all the caste barrier and rebel againts her parents or managed to convinced them that whatever she is doing is good for all.

Now i have one real doubt even if she is affirmative.  Are you sure that she will be able to fight for your love cause and happy marriage with you, againts her parents wish. I have one friend of mine in USA, who was deeply in love with girl in nepal of different caste. Their love story ran for seven long years and at the end the girl just couldnt make decesion whom to choose, her beloved love or her strict reputated family member. The guy moved ahead with another girl in USA coz her gf had no courage to go against her family.

So think about this scenario again. Just getting positive answer from your proposal doesnt mean that you won ur long due of battle of love. However i do suggest you that you should tell her everything truth and get the answer. Just make sure that she would be able to stepped out of her family wall in case there is problem. Thats all i wanna suggest. U truly love her. God bless your true love. Good luck 

 

Thank you once again for being so kind and putting some wonderful ideas here. More than that, I got lots of perosnal mails via Sajha regarding the issue. I thought I was the only one who felt like this but there were many who had gone through same experience. it was real pleasure hearing and learning from their experiences. Im ever grateful to them who suggested me via mails with their own stories.

Love is ultimate so I will update the thread later when I know exactly what to do, of course keeping your views in my mind.

Thank You once again.

With love
Roshani_ko_Jyan

Love is nothing but your hormones talking.

let it go. if it's yours, it will come back. if it does not, it was never yours. ke royi ra yar bacha jasto? :P. roshani ko jyan re ajha HAHAHA...
sowie couldn't help. just chill. whatever happens, happens for the best (for you) :D. 5 years down the road, you would be laughing at yourself for having opened this juvenile runche thread :P

That was a line from the movie "Indecent Proposal"..

Very very appropriate here. Keep it up Loote!

sup hydie?
thanks for the approval. whatever i said is easier said than done though . everyone, at some stage of their lives, goes through some kind of love trauma (yes, i say it's a trauma, coz i genuinely believe that this whole love thingie is over-rated for the most part) and time is THE panacea for all after-effects of such traumas. i am just suggesting the thread opener from futuristic point of view while i can understand (if not relate to) what he's going through at  present

RkJ, this line irked me a lil: "The day I came to know the price of that gold chain I quit dreaming about  her, there was a class barrier. Moreover she was upadhya bahun and I was Shakya (a Newar). But deep down in my heart I loved her immensely."

If you had that much love, why not just take the plunge...jo hoga dekha jayega type of BS?  It works well in Bollywood masala movies so it should in real life too...NOT!!

"I had willingly sacrificed first position for her. Our total no difference used to be not more than 10-15 marks, and knowingly I never did Maths exam well."

Man, you did ALL that for someone who didn't even know you existed?  And you kept it to yourself?  hahahaha

Love is a funny thing, my friend!    Hoping to read the second part...

Real good story. Commentable ..... Just give a shot n let us know ..... we will b there 2 congrats u. .........

Thanks Rewire, Sajhakohero, Phaatte
Thanks Nepalikoketa, unforgiveable, Happyface

---
Dhanyabad WorldMap, Haribansha, Birbhadra
Dahnyabad  Prashtapit, ambition, Poon-hill

--------
Muchas Gracious Sabaiko satru, Kanchhobhai, Pirhana
Muchas Gracious Spring, Prem Chopra,  Lootekukur

---
Mercy MrHyde, Samsara, deadl..

--
Many thanks to those who sent personal mails and those who went through this writing.

At first let me thank all of you again for the courage u have poured me upon. Just few days ago I am back from Nepal with good news. By considering suggestions from all of you I decided to break the ice.

I called her and asked to read the story sent on her mail. (The same thing which I wrote in Sajha), she did not reply anything for few days then I called her. Afraid and Nervous, I dialed, she was nervous tooo. The only sentence she told was 'Ghar tira apthero hunchha'. Then I got the clue.

My family met her family, though there was some obstacle in the beginning, we worked it out........

I rushed to Nepaln next week and said there is NO LOGAN so we got to do eveything in hurry. Thank God, thats what I wanted. Now we are married,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, cant believe all this dramatic thing and MY DREAM GIRL is in my life, I surely could have done something good in previous life.

Life has become wonderful but now im back towor and she is joining me in next few months (Visa process going on)........

Love is a power that made my life complete.

So now its official
Mr RoshanikoJyan weds Roshani .....

---------
Thank you all the friends

Many many many thanks to all the loving ppl of this website and thier ideas.

Love isn't a decision. It's a feeling. If we could decide who we loved, it would be much simpler, but much less magical.

Thank god..ur story finally has such a sweet ending..truly dramatic

Wish i was that lucky..   Still regret the decisions i made..the luv i lost...

Enjoy ur life brother...Be Happy and Congratulation...

Ha ha ha...... what a story brother! It should have been on Wolf Blitzer's Situation Room at the CNN.

Thank God and Congratulations to you on your wedding. TC of your beloved wife and enjoy your life. Keep us posted once in a while how's life treating you. Bye!

Congratulations!

I am glad you used the suggestions  and got your princess back. Congrats for getting what you deserve man

Wonderful love story and HAPPY ENDING

Man u must be singing this song, one of my personal favs and I wanna dedicate u for getting your Princess.

Congrats and Love her more and more...., im sure u will

today while viewing one of the heart touching love stories by SAAJAN, i just felt like bringing up this thread again.

Love definitely is a strange thing.

 Thanks ourownparadise,  Unforgiventale,  Happyace, Poonhill, AAA and Amazing.

You are welcome....ani kahilay khuwauni ho ta Bhooj???

I hadn’t read this story before, but now I am delighted to read through this dramatic real-story.  Yes, you must have done something precious in your previous life that even after all those twisting plots, you ended up with someone you had dreamed of your entire life. Now if you have a son, name him Sajha, or if daughter, name her Roshani (if you didn’t use a real name for your wife)  J.  I’m very happy for you my friend. Only the most luckiest ones can enjoy the happy endings…

Way to go RKJ! Very true and honest expression of emotions!. Both this and Saajan's stories are the best ones I have ever read in Sajha.
Revival
Waiting for a new beginning