I don’t allow email push notifications in my phone. But somehow I got nice vibration in my pocket that afternoon; that kind of shook my balls and felt good about it. Took out my phone & checked the email. BINGO!!! I was one of the recipients of DV lottery 2013. I knew it was coming!! I had good feeling about it!! I made the fist and punched in the air and yelled, “Yessss!!I finally got it!!! F**k that DV  bitch, who rejected my marriage proposal, f**k that BMW who ripped my life with a false hope of the greencard and cheated me and went to f**k around with some niggas, and f**k that dh0ti who took my 5 years of my life to make himself rich.” I was extremely happy hoping that my life would change. I started thinking about the joy of not enrolling for next semester & instead started planning for Vegas trip with that tuition fees. So called my buddies, shared my news and asked them if they would join me for weekend Vegas trip. How could they reject when told that all that expenses was on Mangale. So we went aboard the plane and landed three of us in Vegas just like the Hangover movie. We stopped at the bar, knocked down few shots, went to gamble, won sh*tload of money, headed to titty bar, got slapped with the breasts & god knows what. We kept drinking & smoking more and more until we remember anything….

It was nice, breezy morning but with a foul smell somewhere. I barely opened my eyes and saw a dog lying next to me in a crappy apartment. Thought the dog pissed all over me, I kicked the dog and it ran to the other room barking. Couldn’t tell where I was. A big fat a$$ Mexican woman showed up and started yelling at me, “What’s your problem? Why’d you kick my babe, you MoFo?” I am like, “Excuse me, who the f**k are you.” She went like, “Oh yeah, you don’t know me now. I am your bitch; your American dream, mofo?” Then my head started spinning, I closed my eyes and shook my head and opened my eyes up and said to myself, “ oh sh*t, f**kin’ dream!!”

But with the news of DV result out, and the dream that I had just a moment ago, I opened my laptop and went to USCIS website to check the status. I said to myself, “It will happen to me, god cannot be that cruel. I’ll get this year. No more school. No more research & no more BMW”. I opened up the DV entrant status check page and it asked me to enter the confirmation number. I got confused and said to myself, “Wait!! What confirmation number??” I started thinking about it. Right then, it felt like the sky just fell on me & I literally almost cried. I, then got mad at myself and shouted, “F**K ME!! किन रुन्छ्स मंगले! आफ्नै ढंगले!!"

I cannot believe that, I forgot to fill out the DV lottery for this year. sobsob sob    !!

Thanks,

Mangale. 

 good one

Thanks adventurer.

p.s. To everyone: who goes through my monologues or jokes or short stories, please be advised that I'm not here to offend anybody. I take jab on F1, DVs, and mostly myself. I make stuffs up which comes from my experiences and observations. My objective is just to make people have fun reading them if they can.
Thanks everyone for the time.

 Very nice.Keep writing dude.

Love it.

 HAHAHAH !! niceee 

 I quite like your monologues better. Not a bad effort this, though. 

Love ur monologues mangale

Thank y'all!

Bada** , dude u got talent ... Keep up the f^**** good work ..,,