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Ambrosia
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Posted on 06-06-14 12:17
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Maya was 12 years old
when she told her mother that she
wants to be a doctor. A daughter of a simple bank clerk and a housewife, Maya didn’t
realize it’s an extravagant dream for a middleclass Nepali family. Her mother realized
that this dream is not possible with the earning of one person, which was just enough
to fulfill the basic need of Maya, her younger sister Chhaya and younger
brother Ayesh.
After possibly 2 weeks
of sleepless nights and disturbed days, Maya’s mother decided to work. But it
was impossible since she has a family to look after. So she decided to start
something from her own home. Now the big question is what she can do from home.
She is not a very well educated woman or a skilled vocational woman. She
cleaned the ground floor room of her house which was unused since she got
married to Maya’s father. It was a very small room which opened to a busy street
in Kathmandu.
She decided to open a
vegetable shop since she realized the locality lacks that. No one supported her
decision. Her Maiti people, though
very rich and educated thought it was a bad idea and it will ruin the goodwill
of their family. Her Sasurali family couldn’t
understand her desperation. And her journey began.
According to Meera aka
Maya’s mum, “ Maya wanted to be a doctor
and Chhaya decided to be an engineer. I worked like a donkey to save money. 4
in the morning I used to go to Kalimati Tarkari Bazaar and get the vegetables
to the shop by 6am. Whole day I am in the shop and whenever I got time, when
the business was slow, I went to kitchen and cooked. Later I hired a helper. I
have saved penny by penny, dime by dime and with that money I have a doctor and
an engineer daughters and I am proud of myself.”
The story doesn’t end
there. Now her certified doctor daughter, who works
in a very well reputed, expensive and posh hospital in Kathmandu, asked her mum
not to come inside the hospital. If she has some work, she should call Maya
outside the hospital, in a distance and do what she got to do. Meera is
extremely hurt with this behavior and still smiles and says its OK.She was told that her appearance and attitude
doesn’t match with what Maya wants to take to the hospital. Basically Maya is
ashamed of her mother.
Doctors are synonymous
with compassion and love. They say a person with a lovely heart should be a
doctor coz you need a lot of it when you work. Maya treated her own mother so
badly. The mother who had lived her life living her daughters’ dreams and
working on it. People like Maya are case of failure to me. I was just wondering
if bad Karma someday comes back to Maya ( that I know it will), and her own
kids in the future treats her exactly the way she has treated her mum, will she
be able to take it??? We shall wait!!!!
(The write up
is based on true story, but the names of the characters are changed for privacy
reason and requested by Meera.)
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Karnali Blues
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Posted on 06-06-14 12:30
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Short, sweet and very Interesting Amby. For a while I thought it's not a true story. I bet there are lots of people like Maya who does that to their parents. All we can do is to show the middle finger. Nice one Amby.
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hurray
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Posted on 06-06-14 12:30
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Yes Maya is bad, but should not some blame go to her mom and her dad for having raised her in that way?
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Ambrosia
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Posted on 06-06-14 12:32
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I dont think such amazing mum has raised her child in that way......:)
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Ambrosia
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Posted on 06-06-14 12:36
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KB thank you for the good words......and yes she is just one in many.....hopefully this kind of productions will stop :)
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paradox
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Posted on 06-06-14 6:50
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It's like you planted a tree, watered it, provided best fertilizer, cared for weeds, and so on and consciously or unconsciously you cut the bud. No matter how hard you want/try tree never can grow straight.
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Ambrosia
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Posted on 06-06-14 7:32
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Paradox, I dont know if this example of tree is correct or not.....because what i know is you plang a tree you water you use fertilizer, cared of the weed and when its full grown it gives you fruits:)
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paradox
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Posted on 06-06-14 7:56
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Ambrosia, life is far more complicated than you see the doctor who is afraid to lose her reputation by being recognized as daughter of uneducated/dirty/uncivilized mother. it is really nothing other than superficial adjustment but deep down some thing else is boiling which other person cannot see. The doctor is trying to protect something implanted in her when she was child by parents, society or her own conviction. And in reality, to be proud of parents or ignore them for some reason are just tow faces of same coin, though one is socially accepted and another condemned.
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Dindukhi
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Posted on 06-06-14 8:02
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This is very compelling story. We have to hear other side of the story too. Maya and Chaya changed over the period of time but her mum never changed. They want their mum to stop selling vegetables and enjoy the life that her daughters have adopted. You don't still have to carry "kharpan", "doko" or push "thela" if you own 7 storey building.
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Ambrosia
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Posted on 06-06-14 8:15
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Paradox, Yea maybe you are right but at the end treating your mother this way is wrong...... the mother cud have ignored the dream and cud have stayed home...but she went two steps ahead to help Maya attain it.... and Maya knows it well......so I dont knw why shr behaved like this
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Ambrosia
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Posted on 06-06-14 8:20
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Dindukhi, Maya is in Nepal and Chhaya in the USA. Till date they dont have to give a penny to their mother.....Meera is not working these days.....because she doesnt have to... If Maya has such problem she could have polished her mom......kola taryo lauro birsiyo garnna ta bhayena ni...tyo ni afnai aama lai
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paradox
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Posted on 06-06-14 8:27
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Ambrosia, It is simple, she cannot behave as you wanted she behave to her mother. It is her psychological conditioning which she herself does not understand. Unconscious or subconscious conditioning is far more powerful but act very silently. Conscious mind is silently brought into line no matter how the subject try. Doctor might have already tried too many times to behave differently in this process fantastic excuses are presented by unconscious mind to make conscious mind work in line to unconscious mind. Can you see her behavior towards her mother as normal as she has no other option. Its like to complain a deaf person not listening to his/her mother.
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Ambrosia
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Posted on 06-06-14 8:36
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I agree on the last statement:)
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Dindukhi
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Posted on 06-06-14 8:37
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Ambrosia, Maya is full of self. Her profession and her attitude doesn't match. Chaya making her life together in USA so she has no time to polish her mum. Mum needs to stay at home or hang out with her friends instead visiting her daughter's office.
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Ambrosia
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Posted on 06-06-14 8:38
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Dindukhi yea different side you have shown:)
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halo
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Posted on 06-07-14 7:44
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Ambi, let me complete the story for you, if I may: Maya had a kid and decided that Nepal is not good enough for the child so she moved to the US. During her kid's graduation, she asks Maya not to not come, as she does not want to be known as having a mother who speaks with a heavy accent and smells like curry. Maya smiled-sadly- and all she could do was remember the way she treated her mom. Sorry to intrude like this.
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metta
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Posted on 06-07-14 8:41
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Read this somewhere:
My mom only had one eye. I hated her… She was such an embarrassment. She cooked for students and teachers to support the family.
There was this one day during elementary school where my mom came to say hello to me. I was so embarrassed.
How could she do this to me? I ignored her, threw her a hateful look and ran out. The next day at school one of my classmates said, "EEEE, your mom only has one eye!"
I wanted to bury myself. I also wanted my mom to just disappear. I confronted her that day and said, "If you’re only gonna make me a laughing stock, why don’t you just die?"
My mom did not respond… I didn’t even stop to think for a second about what I had said, because I was full of anger. I was oblivious to her feelings.
I wanted out of that house, and have nothing to do with her. So I studied real hard, got a chance to go abroad to study.
Then, I got married. I bought a house of my own. I had kids of my own. I was happy with my life, my kids and the comforts.
Then one day, my Mother came to visit me. She hadn’t seen me in years and she didn’t even meet her grandchildren.
When she stood by the door, my children laughed at her, and I yelled at her for coming over uninvited. I screamed at her, "How dare you come to my house and scare my children! GET OUT OF HERE! NOW!!!"
And to this, my mother quietly answered, "Oh, I’m so sorry. I may have gotten the wrong address," and she disappeared out of sight.
One day, a letter regarding a school reunion came to my house. So I lied to my wife that I was going on a business trip.
After the reunion, I went to the old shack just out of curiosity.
My neighbors said that she died. I did not shed a single tear. They handed me a letter that she had wanted me to have.
My dearest son,
I think of you all the time. I’m sorry that I came to your house and scared your children.
I was so glad when I heard you were coming for the reunion. But I may not be able to even get out of bed to see you. I’m sorry that I was a constant embarrassment to you when you were growing up.
You see……..when you were very little, you got into an accident, and lost your eye. As a mother, I couldn’t stand watching you having to grow up with one eye. So I gave you mine.
I was so proud of my son who was seeing a whole new world for me, in my place, with that eye.
With all my love to you,
Your mother.
http://www.snopes.com/glurge/oneeye.asp#eq7gCVAPIQoMRyML.99
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Dindukhi
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Posted on 06-07-14 9:00
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I am planning to see my parents sooner. I think there are so many friends who have no chance to see their parents and I am one. People matters, not things. These stories making my mum closer. Our children would see same way that we seeing our parents. We cannot change people but we can change reaction.
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Ambrosia
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Posted on 06-07-14 9:36
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Metta, You made me cry with that story.....thank you for making me feeellllllllll I owe u this!!!
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Ambrosia
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Posted on 06-07-14 9:37
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Dindukhi, Make that sooner that you think.....its worth it:)
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