This liberal neighbor of mine who is a PETA member has this "cute" gerbil he calls skippy that he is very fond of. My neighborhood is fairly conservative. We love our guns(and bayonets), love hunting when the season is right, hate abortion and hate liberal commies in general. This libbie neighbor of ours loves to taunt us with his "Jesus was a liberal" bumpersticker he has on his car, and the whole community was aching to teach this Jesus-hating libbie traitor a lesson. So the community decides to call him to a "community gathering" as a diversion so I could quickly slip into his house and kidnap his gerbil. So everything goes as planned and I got his gerbil, which I gave to the townhouse chairman.
I saw the guy yesterday. Looked like he was gonna cry a river. LMAOOOOOOOOOO!

God bless president Bush.

i hate the republic

are yall gonna microwave the gerbil?

No, we're going to give it back to him. We're just going to say we found him somewhere.

Haha...thats funny that you stole his gerbil...I bet you found a good purpose for it, as well...

nepali con,

I heard from your liberal buddy and he gave me the real story behind the "cute" gerbil.

He said he knew where his pet was all along, that this had happened before. He said you and your "Deliverance" wing-nut buddies had taken it deep into the woods, where squeals of pleasure and pain were supposedly heard from you and your white Aryan friends (the gerbil was "cute", huh?).

The reason your liberal neighbor was really crying, he said, was because he had to wash the stink off his poor, innocent pet yet again, and to heal it of the traumas suffered in navigating god only knows what dark and smelly burroughs. He said that he had already contacted PETA and they were on their way to stuff your beloved crucifix you know where. Just thought I'd warn you, before any real damage was done.

He insisted that while nobody envied you your fundamentalist pleasures, he was shocked that you wing-nut theocrats had sunk so low! And he ended the tale by screaming: Buck Fush!

netazneta, the squeals of pleasure he heard was his libbie NAMBLA buddies buggering young boys. You don't know half the thing this pot-smoking neighbor does,man!

But does he know what happened to his turkey? The same libbie neighbor, who by the way is a vegan, invited me to a dinner during thanksgiving. Seeing that the dinner comprised of nothing but chickpea, corn and tofu, I knew I had to teach this hezbollah supporting, Michael Moore worshipping, pinko traitor a lesson.
So the next day, my buddies and I conspired to get him out of his crib, so we can steal his turkey. My friends ring his bell and tell him that one of our neighbors(who was quite privy to the scheme) was very sick, and had to be rushed to the hospital, and that his Toyota Prius hybrid( the tree-hugging bastard is very conscious of the environment)would be the most ideal. The niggardly libbie of course would never let us borrow his car, so he offered to drive. So I quickly go inside his house, steal his turkey and hightailed out of his crib in a matter of minutes.
A few days later, I was busy tenderizing some turkey meat in a tub of brine. LMAOOOOOOOOOO.

God bless the Pope.

nepali con,

First gerbils, now turkeys! I guess the next logical, if retroactive, step would be dogs! What imagination, what courage! Your liberal neighbor told me to remind you to wave giant American flags and chant god?'sname while you are doing it. He found it impressive that you rightwing KKK theocrats (who hate your own reflection in Hezbollah and the Taleban) do it with so much pride. Carry on, "animal lover", carry on, he said, have fun, squeal all you want.

Talking about squealing, he indicated that it was your dear priests who were buggering little kids--in the church, no less. But then, like a proud, patriotic, but ignorant wing-nut fundamentalist, what would you know, or care, he sighed with resignation. So, of course, he was't surprised by your love for the present Pope--once a member of the Hitler Youth--who was crucial in hushing up the whole buggering scandal and blaming everything on the media. (But, he said--taking tokes from his joint--that you probably believed it was the pinko, commie, tree-hugging, god-hating Clintons' fault anyways!)

Life must be easy for you, he added enviously, because you hardly need to think, just follow orders and chant "pinko, commie, tree huggers, god haters" and everything would be fine and dandy in your world (he said you forgot the "homos, the feminazis, blacks, and the immigrants", by the way, even though he suspected that you might be one of them).

But that is his story. Pray, do tell us about what you did to the dog, or had done to you.

real quick question
you made off w/the bird
then a FEW DAYS LATER you were tenderizing it
what were you doing to in the meantime?

"what were you doing to in the meantime? "
Sharpening my knife.

Netazneta, you won't believe this, man. This liberal neighbor of mine once upon a time also had emus in his shack. And it had only recently laid eggs. Knowing that this vegan sodomite(he is of the homosexual persuasion and very feminine) would never eat emu eggs, my republican buddies and I, yet again, decided to teach this Northeastern liberal carpetbagger(we're currently in Florida) a lesson. So this time, understanding that this guy is a hopeless romantic(he pretends to be, he has been divorced 5 times before he came out of his liberal closet) my good buddies decided to take him to the theatre where they were showing "Maid in Manhattan". So while he was getting entertained in the theatre, I discreetly made my way inside his house. And there was the emu sittin' on a bunch of eggs. So I quickly grabbed all of the eggs(and some of em got squished for some reason or another), and as I was about to leave the house, I decided to teach this emu-loving socialist another lesson. So I plucked all of the emu feathers, one by one, a tedious task, but ah well, I got the job done.
And then I quickly darted off. LMAOOOOOOOOOO.
Libbie homos are just too feminine.

God bless America. *Waves his flag*

Proud to be an American.

nepali con, do you have a mullet? you hold the high honor of being the first ever bonafide nepali redneck...yeee haaaw

Nepali con,

"Libbie homos are just too feminine" you say, and I believe you hundred percent. How can I question all your obvious gay experiences, one of them with a "cute" gerbil, through which you speak such profound wisdom?!

Okay, gays are now accounted for, but we are still waiting for your enlightened stories on feminists, people of color, the UN, and immigrants (like your parents), the last of which should make for a delicious self-hating tale.

Also, it is quite in character for a gun-loving, humanity-hating, flag-waving, god-kidnapping wing-nut fanatic Taleban American like you to spout macho rhetoric, but act like a ?girly man? by habitually sneaking into other people?s homes behind their backs and smelling their dirty underwear!

Sure, netazneta, here is a feminazi story for you.
The same liberal neighbor of mine has a bunch of lesbian friends, all of whom supported Hanoi Kerry, and in fact are so liberal that they believe boy scouts should be friendlier to gay people. They also feel that women deserve equal pay, and are as, if not more, intelligent as men. Laughable, I know. I had a chitchat with them a few days ago, and they said they were going to stay with my neighbor for a couple of days, after which they were gonna go back to Boston, where they originally are from. The three bulldykes(or as I like to call them the three lesbian musketeers) had to be taught a lesson during their short sojourn with my ultra-liberal homosexual neighbor. Oh by the way, did I mention all three were lardasses? The three were so hideously ugly that I wouldn't be surprised if their moms breastfed them with straws when they were children. Typical ugly liberal mug, I tell.
So my gut instinct told me that these three feminazis had dildos hidden somewhere in their purses(naturally since they're from Boston,MA). So i asked one of my buddies to give these three hookers a ride in his pickup truck that they would never forget. Surely enough, my neighbor also decided to tag along. This was my signal to go back to my neighbor's house, which, by now, I was very familiar with. And guess what, one of the homely ladies forgot to take her purse with her, and I knew what I had to do. So I kept on digging and digging, and guess what, she had a vibrator! Why, that wench! How dare she bring her depraved culture to Florida?
So I knew what I had to do. I had brought with me a bag of hot pepper. I quickly rubbed some pepper on the vibrator, and then I vamoosed as fast as I had entred.
The wench surely will learn a thing or two when she decides to have fun with herself next time around. LMAOOOOOOOO.

God bless Tom Delay.

But those bulldykes tell me a different story, Bubba nepali con. Knowing you to be a habitual peeping Tom and a closeted homosexual, they had deliberately left the vibrators for you and your buddies to find and use, hoping in the process to wean you from your unhealthy obsession with sodomizing innocent birds or, as in the case of the cute gerbil, being sodomized by them. Pitying you, they wanted to help you move up the evolutionary ladder. The girls were however a bit worried that since you all only recognized the interiors of trailers, you might get lost in a real house. Fortunately, they tell me their plan worked predictably, it worked so well that they had to throw those stinking vibrators away, all your hard work and hot pepper gone to waste, bichara!!

Okay, moving right along, since it?s getting late, why don?t we skip the rest, cut to the chase and hear about your immigrant parents?

You wanna hear about immigrants? Sure, here's one ;). This happened about two weeks ago.

The same homosexual liberal gasbag also had a Hispanic maid, who, my buddies and I were sure, was an illegal immigrant from that cesspul they call Cuba. Knowing my neighbor, I was pretty sure she was his sex-slave, and I presumed that he was also about to have a sham marriage with this woman to trick the INS into giving her a green card. Ain't happening in my neck of the woods. Not when my buddies and I are there to keep libbie scums in check!
So my buddies learned a thing or two about a new group formed by true American patriots to guard America from the uneducated vermins that have been invading us for decades. So I knew what to do. I quickly picked up the phone and dialed the Minuteman Project hotline number and informed them of the hanky-panky going on in my neighborhood. And soon enough, the Minuteman Volunteers arrive in boatloads and haul her ass to the nearby INS office.
And guess what, she was indeed an illegal alien, and they deported her ass back to Cuba! LMAOOOOOOO.
Too bad they didn't do a thing about my knuckle-dragging libbie neighbor. And he doesn't know how she got deported either. I ain't telling him!

God bless Rush Limbaugh, the speaker of truth!

No, not those immigrants, I already know what you knuckle-dragging Rethugs think about them. Tell us about your immigrant Nepali parents so we can use it as a lullabye to go to sleep.

Why my parents? I'm an immigrant myself. But I did it the legal route. No sneaking over the borders by me.
LOL, I was just yanking your chain, buddy! I'm a hardcore liberal to tell you the truth!!! And I voted for John Kerry.
But that doesn't mean I support all liberal ideologies blindly. I have my own opinions.

Yanking my chain? You, an independent, non-doctrinaire person? Sure, keep flattering yourself, dude. I like you better as a conservative whack-job, actually. So long!

:)

Aww man, that sucks, shoulda kept it secret then. So the love is gone just coz I'm not really who I was pretending to be? Dang dude, I need the love.