Hi ladies (and insightful gents), I sometimes wonder if I am showing too much affection for my girl. I mean, I love her a lot and she loves me back, but I am beginning to wonder if there is "affection inflation" taking place slowly but surely. If I call her too much, or tell her I love her too much, am I making it all too cheezy and mundane? I know it sounds absurd, but it surely is the case that the rarer the show of appreciation, the more valued it is when it does occur. I was just wondering if anyone has any thoughts on this. Ladies?

yeah i am wondering the same thing zany bro is there such thing as loving a girl too much???
common ladies lets hear some of ya all
peace

hey be careful with "too much love",,it's like sugar,,too much sweet is in fact cloying,..does not really work in the long run,,it's good to cruise,,but not to exceed the speed limits,,one can land up with an unexpected accident and more the speed,,more the injuries..

make sure u have full coverage insurance with low deductible and high personal damage coverage..but still dont overspeed,,,my personal experience

hhahahahahaha...
i know what u trying to say zany....

women - the most mysterious creature god has ever created. no doubt about it. to my understanding, most women need to be pampered and and u need to explicitly tell them how much u love them (as in - "I LOVE U SWEETIE") after every 3 mins, else they would start thinking that u have lost the vigor for them. but in the process if u tend to be too much expressive, things start to become too commonplace for them and hence they will lose interest in u!....so u need to keep a perfect balance hehe...i know it's easier said than done but that is how it is! :p

on a similar note, the biggest turn off for me is a girl without an ounce of sense of humor. i would not care if my girl looks like aish rai (just an example ni pheri, i ain't no fan of aish :P), or suparnakha (with due respect :P), but she's got to have some degree of sense of humor. i joke a lot, and i pull legs of every person close to me. if she does not get it, she may think that i don't love her for real and that's when things start to become complex. :P ....she should at least understand, what i am talking about....many nepalese girls are ZERO when it comes to generating wit and comprehending humor...no offence hai pheri! :P

LooTe

Loote sir, girl psychology ma PHD..

granted by pacifier university..

dr. Loote frm nowonwards.......BTW i granted you the degree but as you know professor learns a lot from students......

i agree loote bro a girl better have a good sense of humor or she is gone lol and thats one of the reason i dont date nepali girls.
peace

Yah, I think saying too much "I love you" and showing more than reasonable affection generates the feeling of under someone's control. Key thing is maintaining the balance.

Zany it's only human nature. In order to have a good relationship you need to be aware of basic human nature. We always want something we don't have. As soon as we have something we get used to it, take it for granted and want something else. So even in relationship, you should never give the impression that the other personally totally owns you or 'has' you. Because as soon as she/her senses that then she/he will get used to it and take it for granted and will want to focus on other things.

hahahaha pacifier....u r not less than a dr. either....:P

here's a song that is somewhat apt to the discussion. sowie, can't help posting it! these days, i am all filled up by songs :P



LooTe

Loote .. U r right..sud have been a doctor instead...Hopefully someday in budeskaal i will get back to school for one more time..

i agree with u lootekukur.for this comment of urs i promote u from lootekukur to moteykukur.good going

zany u r 100% true.i also agree with ur comments.gals lai dherai importance diyo bhaney cheap bhaincha.

Well sometimes it is hard to define the exact line of separation where zone of expression of love ends and zone of boosting of feminine ego with one's apparent expression of love starts,, i guess it is better to be on the side just expressing love,,with eyes wide open not to be boosting her ego,,

Thanks guys for your input. Ya finding the right balance is key. I understand the theory well, it's the practicals that I am concerned about. What is the right line of separation? I guess it's kinda situation-specific. Dherai importance diyo bhane bhain ma na bhaada - nadiye waasta garena bhanchan! aba ke bhanne! The paradox sucks. I think women dont know what they want. They want a man to take charge - i know the feminists out there are gonna get a little defensive, but whatver...it's the truth, at least from my own experience.

I guess it's important to keep some sort of tension and suspence. You got to keep them guessing, and maybe come up with nice surprises once in a while. It aint easy.

I mean if I play games - like pretend that I am not interested, this might get them wondering what's going on, and the suspence may be unbearable. And then, when I do come around, it will be a pleasant relief. But I dont know if I want to play games.... I feel that the relationship should be based on trust and respect, and for us it is...But I am kind of looking forward...The guys have been pretty helpful. Ladies, any thoughts?

Like how we cannot generalise men, you can generalise women either.

Depends on what kind of women you are dating- sb who asks for attention or who doesnt. Somebody who is very dependant or very independant; practical and impractical. If you ask my personal opinion: I say you don't have to tell her that you love her time and again and please dont make it a "rule" of wanting to hear "i luv u TOO", in return. Let it be spontaneous. On telling tht you love her time and again, those three words lose its charm and they no longer remain special. There are many other ways to show love. DONT be very possessive. U turn possessive because you dont want to lose her, but u eventually lose her instead. Too much of sugar turns bitter.
Relationship is like sand, held them too tight it slips out of your hand, held it lose and it remains.
U should also realise the difference between love and obsession....Self-respect for each other, some space, understanding and accepting the person for who he/she is are the key to a very good relationship. Sometimes, some men of our Nepalese society try and impose the attitude of "once-upon-a-time (extremely)-male-dominant-society" attitude and that's when things go wrong. But then, I dont think i can tell about the "specific line" that you are referring to because there is nth specific. You jus realise with time.....i wonder how long have u been dating her.....

I hope that helped.....of course ..a little.

Typo- *CANNOT generalise women either.

Hey sosaysi, that was insightful. I knew women understood these things better. You should be a relationship counselor. Its been over a year. I guess I already knew what I should be doing, but sometimes things in the back of your head only become obvious once you start thinking about it.

Well said Soyasi!!!
I'ld rather rephrase ur quote as: Relationship is like sand, hold it too tight, it slips out of ur hand; hold it loose, it gets blown away....

Everything is hot and exciting in the beginning. As you will wake up from your dream,
you will see the reality of love in this world. god may save u from being another devdas. hah..hah...hah..

Seriously now from a girl's perspective, i think Loote is right that we girls need to hear it all the time. If my guy does not say few nice work every day, i start gettng panic attacks but then genuine love is always visible and can be felt.

In case of sense of humor, stop talking like these white guys. I just think the word is too overrated and people these days just love to add it in their resume - i have a great sense of humor... But then every human is funny from one side or the other. It all depends on the comfort level you create and the situation i guess. Unlike Americans, who even reherse their sense of humor lines and repeat if often, Nepalese are more sponteneous and that is what i like on out folks.....

So, BE ORIGINAL guys...everything will be fine