i am fed up dealing with nepalese, fed up with them taking me for granted. want to do something good, and then khutta taana tan. no responsibility, just play. thats what I have noticed with MAJORITY of nepalese i have met. They try to act all cool like they dont give a sh!t. I love my country and my culture but I am starting to feel irritated by my own people. I compare us with other countrymen and sometimes feel we are soooo far behind.

I am not stereotyping this to ALL nepalese, but majority of us. when will we ever learn?

You alll are welcome to flame me, but you all know the truth, you all just scared to let it out because you wanna be patriotic. well defending bunch of idiots will not make one. realize the truth.

jai nepal

Hey Hareeb, you're fed up with peeps taking you for granted? Thats what most of us got the first few years in the US when we were trying to be a lil "sojho" around some of these idiots. A few will take it for granted and you will have to prove your point and stand up to them, no ifs or buts about it. BTW, if you know that you're being pushed around, why even let the saga continue? Just speak your mind out and bring out the understanding that the fists will come out if necessary. What have you to lose? Instead you will gain a new found respect from the very same people around who now will think twice before passing any more shit onto you.

And, yeah, if you're doing well or trying to do something good, keep going! Don't let no fuggers stop you from doing any shit, aight! You are the creator of your own destiny.

They say in order to truly accept who you are, you first need to reject everything you are. And then build it up one bit at a time. Carving out an identity for ones self is probably as old as the human race and something we all go trough in one form or the other at some time or another.

Good luck.

:)

Blistering Barnacles! Good to see you here, Cap'n...Usually see you stuck to Cafe N and BC's threads only these days. Anyway, a good day to you! Drowning in work, but still making time for my sajha posts.

LOL Samsara!

How very observant of you:) Yeah, it seems they've put BC's on Yarsagumba these days (and he's harnessing it's full powers going by his posts ) and the Cafe is a bit slow so thought I should stop by other interesting places in the neighborhood to say hi re kya ...he he

Hope all is well with you. You have a good one too.

(Sorry for the digression The Hareeb)

BC's on Yarsagumba...hahahaa BTW, yarsagumba, here in the US? Thought it was big around Japan and other Eastern cultures only...Unless one of our enterprising Neps has found a way to smuggle it here too.

As always, a pleasure to see your posts, Cap'n! Take care and have a good one.

Hareeb bro, sorry yaar...will let your posts continue in peace now. Ciao!

I don't think it is Khutta tanne kaam.

GP,
I totally agree with you.
Nice vision.

I don't agree with GP... if you can , you should return the favor.. payback to the people who helped you... simple example: if you borrow money from Mr. A , return the money to Mr. A, not pass on the money to miss B.... by returning the favor you will be contributing to the system of trust and togetherness in the community....if they expect bigger favor in return, still try your best to fulfill it...if you can't fulfil -let them know. ... open communication and trust is what needed in friendships... and keep your paragraphs short and life simple ... KISS is the rule...( keep it simple sajhalites)

"Why I hate nepalese"

This thread should be banned... I think a lot of people seem to enjoy blaming others for their own misfortunes. This is like acknowledging you own cowardice. You get a$$holes in all walks of life, does not matter whether they are Nepali, American, Indian. So, to generalize with a criticism or complement is just very unreasonable and naive. I think that we Nepalis seem to have this big misconception that if you are Nepali, you are a good person and as a result a good friend. This is not patriotic. Instead it is very very naive and unfortunately wide spread.

I have noticed that a lot of us seem too afraid to voice our opinions. In fact it seems to be discouraged by the whole community. Maybe thats why you guys are talking about "khutta tanne"... and see it as a never ending problem. How about simply telling people how you feel instead of not saying anything in fear of offending them.

It is not written in the stone that just because you are Nepali I have to help you. I will help you IF I WANT TO(depends who you are) ? I ain't no Saint to go help every rammey and Shyaamey or Tom, Dick and Harry. Maybe I dun wanna to play nice with Morons. Who knows but you cannot generalize population based upon a few experience.

Bhayey pani thiiikai cha
Na Bhayey pani thikai
kinlai tauko dukahunu cha
dui diney jidagiii ma.

I agree with mr. bathroom coffee. I had a bitter experience with some nepali folk idiots. I am not trying to say that I helped someone, instead i got nothing. This is not what I wanted. Actually I helped some idiot n selfish folks with money, shelter, finding jobs, giving ride to college n jobs. Even i took care of those idiots who had nobody to go except me. finally when they got job n money n car, they kicked my as*s.They did never try to give back me my money. Even i swiped my credit card to buy them their car , but when my car broke down they refused to give me a ride. Now tell me guys how u feel when u can do nothing where a car is a must? So I suggest all guys that if u wanna have good friendsip, never give or take money among friends. N never trust these selfish guys who try to be very nice to you. These r the ultimate idiots. So far try to remain away from selfish idiots.

This is my opinion.

1. I do not know about 'Khutta tanne'. I cannot interpret it how that happens in friends' case. Point 2 might clarify this further, for larger community.

2. to hareeb.
Take it as a fact that only very less people are interested in your benefit, as GP said, in this capitalistic world. 'Expecting' 'help' from anybody is your weakness.

3. To GP
As Kalopani said, 'passing on' cannot happen in some things like money. Kalopani, consider GP's points in 'other than money' cases, and it sounds good.
I agree with you in this ; ""FRIEND is one who understands your situation, is honest, and speaks truth, and does not plough excuses". " Key here is speaking out, and most people hesitate to speak out.

4. Its harsh, brother, to say that you 'hate' nepalese.

This is not nice to say I hate all the nepalese but this is the reality some Nepalese are really mean. And we shuold make theem realising their mistakess.

Just don't say, "I hate ...", and my idea is STAY AWAY. World is big enough to avoid encounter. People with pen, you can disagree, but people with bad mouth and / or gun, STAY AWAY.

In reality, the newcomers are more attuned to what happens in USA prior landing than the ones who lived here all their lives. I used to routinely take care of newcomers (Mostly DV Winners) but the way they used me to get jobs, driver's license, SS, apts etc is beyond call of duty in this society. Now who is taking who for granted here...either I help this family of four or I'll have an additional family living in my SINGLE family dwealling for a long time. I feel those who lived here all their lives are the "Sojho" ones. I'm tired to my bones whelping my distant relatives so please pardon me if I don't say hello to you. I remember the first couple of ANA meeting where total of 50-60 people would show up (half of them Americans), the help was feasible but now we are no different than most other migrant of early years; we must divide and disperse in smaller groups to stand on our own feet...until than learn to ask for help with pride tucked away for the interim and you'll do just fine.

You can hate whomever and whatever you want. Its a free world. You win sum and you lose sum. Its one thing to be politically correct and another thing to face the harsh reality.

So to those people who oppose the use of the word Hate... he he you are in denial. Otherwise why would they coin that word ?? So we can express ourselves. I hate Kahsi ko masuu cause it smells like Boka. ha ha ha

Hate is too strong a word but. ... For a little laugh, remove the H's in hate and you'd be back eating "Khasi Ko Masu"

Rabiq, I feel for you bro... being used is not a good feeling.
However, I think you really do yourself injustice by talking about this because, all it really implies is that you did not have the stomach to voice your displeasure to the people you were helping out. In the future, you should try to voice your opinion more often and show people that you have a spine, so that they will think twice before they take advantage of you.

Now, please dont get started on putting down DV winners. Seems like the "Sajha" thing to do. Stop hating on people who are luckier than you. Granted, others had to work harder, but I think its unfair to put down DV winners just coz they were more fortunate.

Hey GP dai, Nice explanation. I agree with you except money matters as kalopani and copycat said.

Also, there are often misunderstanding that flourish bitterness among friends. For example,

1) Mr. A has helped Mr. B in various ways with and without letting Mr. B know everything, but Mr. B fails to understand the gravity of the help of Mr. A. Instead Mr. B thinks he arose on his own that hurts Mr. A.

2) Mr. A is helpful to Mr. B, but Mr. B does not trust Mr. A can help him as much as he want. So, Mr B seeks help from Mr C. Mr C talks to Mr A about the issue before helping to Mr B, which makes Mr A unhappy.

3) Mr. A used to help in the past. Mr. B asked Mr. A to help him now but Mr. A's situation is not as good as in the past. Instead of trying to understand the problem of Mr. A, Mr. B thinks the other way and starts complaining to others instead of talking directly with Mr. A. Later on, Mr. B realizes his mistake, but has no courage to go and talk to Mr. A

4) Mr. B is in need of help. He has heard Mr. A helped to Mr. C in similar case. He approaches Mr. A, but Mr. A does not want to involve himself in that issue because he was having a lot of trouble with Mr. C in his past helping effort. Mr. B is upset with Mr. A now.

These are some classic cases I have seen around.