Hey guys,

This is a new thread about my journey to today from my remote past. It may or may not create an interest in you. I am writing this just for my own sake ! If you find it interesting, that's fine !!

Introduction:

I am a graduate student in a US Univeristy, pursuing PhD studies in low-energy/atomic physics. I am in my mid-thirties. Born in a remote eastern hilly region of Nepal, I spent segments of my life in the eastern hills and then in Kathmandu before I came to the United States three years ago.I ..............

Part-2: August 11,2007

(Contd:)


... live in the east coast of the USA with my family.

Let me go back to the remote past of my life. I was born as the second child to a middle-class farmer family. My dad and mom were farmers. They used to work hard in the fields.Though we were farmers, we had someone to till the land because, being Brahmins , the so-called high class family on the basis of the caste-system in the Hindu religion, we were not allowed to till the land ourselves. If some Brahmin boy tilled the land, he was humiliated by the society.Sometimes the situation used to become so worse that he was looked to be degraded from his caste. Anyways, the owning of a tiller had made their lives easier. When I grew up, I tried to be reolutionary in the sense that I used to go with the tiller and till the land at times when my parents were away and nobody else could see me driving the yoke with the tilling device(HALO). Sometimes my dad used to suspect me whether I might do something wrong like tilling the land ! This was how I grew up in a famland ! (Contd:)

Part-3: August 12, 2007

(Contd:)

My childhood:

My childhood passed with ups and downs, largely with much difficulty due to the absence of maternal love and care though my dad tried everyway to shower an excellent parental care. The painful childhood started when my mom left this world for ever in her early age. I was about 5 years old by that time and my younger sister and brother were about 3 years and 8 months old respectively. My elder brother was eight years old . The Shrawan of early thirties of B.S.( Bikram Sambat) left a family of a young person (my dad was about 34 years old at that time), a grandma (my dad's mom) and we four little kids in an agony ! For the first time in such an early childhood, I came to know something about 'DEATH'. My mom was motionless covered by a plain sheet of whitecloth lying on the floor and my dad and the neighbors were all around her. Some of them told me some very hard heart-piercing words of the kinds - My mom was dead and she was going to be cremated. This was the beginnig of a new and entirely different kind of days in my childhood !

(Contd:)

Part-4: August 13,2007

(Contd:)

Routine of my Childhood :

As I lost our mom in my early childhood, me and my elder brother had to do a lot of chores. A typical day started on or before the sunrise. Basically we were to support the unbearable load of my dad and grandma, a patient of some respiratory problems. My grandma had also borne a load of the same kind as my father did to bring up my dad and his only brother and several sisters because of an untimely demise of my grandfather. So she had to bear a similar kind of pain again to bring up the four grandchildren, deprived of mom's love. I helped grandma to take care of the two kids younger than me. I used to go to the fields and jungles with dad to collect grass and firewood. In the afternoon, I used to go to school with my elder brother. My dad was really great to send all of us to school doing most of the work at daytime by himself or taking some help of neighbors or other villagers. He was not much educated but he used to tell us that you can become 'BIG PERSONS' only when you study hard. I used to get hits and beats from him at times when I was lazy and reluctant to study. He used to tell us, ' It was your mom's dream to see all of you be great but unfortunately she is not here any more. You can make her dreams true only if you study hard.' His regular push of that time made all of the kids to get high degrees except my sister. There was a tendency not to send the girls to schools but my dad was of different opinion and he sent my sister to a primary school. But she couldnot continue beyond her primary education becuase of inaccessibility of any close by high schools. The people around also ridiculed my dad for sending my sister to school ! But now the thing has changed and even the girls there have got good education. Thus, the routine of my pre-highschool days was to take care of the kids, feed the animals tamed for our service , go to school, clean the utensils, fetch water from the tap or wells, help the neighbors in their farms (during weekends and school holidays) to get help form them and sleep after finishing the homeworks for tomorrow ! It was really difficult for me to sit with my dad to grind corn using grinding device (JANTO) and to unhusk dried paddy using a DHIKI. I had cried several times from getting a painful time in running these heavy machines with childish immature muscles !

I wish no kids wiil do such a physical labor in the World !

(Contd:)

Part-4: August 14,2007

(Contd:)

A bitter experience of catlle grazing:

As I already said that my primary works at home during my childhood were to help my dad and grandma at home and farms and to study the school courses. In addition to the school courses, I had to read, memorize and recite the stanzas and paragraphs of CHANDI, a Hindu holy book praising the superpower of the Hindu goddess Durga.

I remember one really bitter experience of my careless moment of that time.We were in
our school holidays and me and my elder brother were assigned to graze cattle in the fields nearby our house. The fields were uncultivated as it was early Jestha. We took our cattle to the fields and left there. There were some cows, goats and buffaloes and the day had a very hot sunshine. In the terraced fields, there were some nurseries to grow the paddy seedlings. One of our buffalo was already very close to one of our neighbours' nursery and it was too late to control it away from the plot. We tried to control it but we were helpless; the animal jumped into the nursery and ran accross it.The animal really enjoyed the water on that super-hot noon but it was really a horrible situation for us !

At evening, my neighbor came and complained about it. My dad was so mad to hear his complain that he thrashed us with a bamboo twig. I got more than my brother because I was stouter physically! I thought that it was sometimes advantageous to be physically weak ! In fact, this idea struck me several times during my childhood as I was stouter and stronger than others in my family and I used to get punishment most of the times. Anyways, those punishments led me towards my better future rather than towards depressions !!!

Malia dai,
Looking forward to your next part...

Part - 6: August 15, 2007

(Contd:)

A bitter experience of Primary School:

I went to a primary school in my village. It was 15 minutes walk to the school from my house. I was really a smart kid in the class. At that time, the government administered schools used to teach English only from Grade-IV, but I knew all the English alphabets before I joined to the school in Grade-I. I also knew some English words from "THULO VARNAMALA" , the first book for most of the kids in NEPAL.

I am going to write an experience of a Science class when I was in Grade-III. The day was going well as usual. In the morning (before tiffin), there was a science period. We had a science teacher who had passed SLC several years before and had a good experience in teaching and good reputation in the village. It was partially because of his father too who was renowned for the social service in that place. My dad used to tell us that the Congress Party Movement was really violent in the Eastern Hills in 2007(B.S.). People used to do anything they liked in the name of the Congress. Such a viloent Congress was not allowed to enter our village by his( the father of my science teacher) effort. Anyways, my science teacher was nice, stout and handsome and had a knowledge of science good enough to teach the primary level. He had given homework to us. It was something reading and memorizing from the book. I couldn't finish my homework on that day. The teacher came to the class and asked to present the homework. I had not done it and I was really scared. I couldn't tell him why I didn't do the homework because he looked so giant in front of me and also because of our culture that we have to respect our teacher and follow what the teacher says and does. He became too mad on me and some other friends to stand calmly there any more. He told our monitor to bring a bamboo twig and and beat us on the palms of both hands. It was so painful that the little soft palms were full of swellings and rashes. Oh my god, it was really unbearable, I cried and cried but that didn't help me any more! He bit further and finally said, " You will not forget your homework from tomorrow." This was the first and last time in my life that I got such a corporal punishment from a teacher. In fact, this event and almost all of this kind for doing homework by memorizing the study materials sowed the seed of memorizing attitude which has been really striking me in my current days. My PhD adviser here always says that " Memorizing the stuffs without understanding is more harmful than useful."

Anyways, my science teacher's punishment in my primary school might have directed me to go to the field of science unknowingly. Whatever way I did, I reached here in the field of Physics but there is much more to do to go ahead !!!

maila daju
lekhdai garnu

Part-7: August 16, 2007

(Contd:)

An experience of being stouter and stronger in my family:

Among the four kids in my family, I was the strongest one. My elder brother was lean and thin and so he was not given any hard work. When some hard work like lifting, carrying and working on the fields was to be done, my dad and grandma used to say, " La Maila, ta yo kam gar , jetho alik kamjor chha, garna sakdaina, kanchho ra Kanchhi sanai chhan" ( Translation - "Hey the second son, you do this work, the first son is a little bit weak , he can't do this work and the youngest son and daughter are too small to do this work.") . When some hard work had to be done, I usually heard this repetation. My dad's words like, " Mailo khana pani sakchha, garna pani garchha !" (Translation-" The second son can eat and work as well.") sometimes inspired me to do the works assigned.

As we had to work in relativley big farms and we had no good strength in our family, we had to take help of our neighbours in the condition that we pay back a help ("PARMA") in their farms. In such situation, the neighbours used to say, " Mero mela ma Maila lai nai pathaideu hai "(Translation -" Please send the second son to work in my farm and not others"). In this way, my good physique in my family helped me be popular in our neighborhood to payback the "PARMA" (Help for Help) ! I remember the comment made by one of my neighbor with my dad, " Dai, Maila ko chai chinta linu pardaina, khet khanera bhaye pani swasni palchha bhawisye ma !"(Translation - "Brother, don't worry about your second son, he can feed and take care of his wife in future by working on the field.").

I worked in our farms until I graduated from high school. Then I left for my college study far from home. I haven't returned to the work in my farms again.

Anyways, I think my sound physique helped me be popular in my neighbourhood till I was around there!

Malia Dai,
Kati dhilo dhilo lekheko, kurna garhyo bho gathe!!
(Translation: Second brother, you are writing too slowly, I am being impatient. (Don’t know how to Translate "gathe" to english )

Is this a "bio-data" that you're submitting to your wife-to-be in your next life? Just in jest..
Great read. Keep it up!

i thought writing in nepali would bring charm to your story (there is so much of translation in your story, why?)
just a suggestion, take it easy

Part-8: August 17,2007

My childhood in our remote farmland:

We own a farm on a basin of a stream which is about 20 minutes walk from our house so it is a little remote to us. We can grow paddy there twice a year. It is a really nice plot of land, very close to the source of water, a kind of golden plot. But the problem is that during the rainy season, it is difficult to reach the place because of the swollen stream and without any bridge over it.
My childhood was in deep touch with this land. I used to go there to tend the plot, to water the plants and to take care of the budding paddy plants from the monkeys. Sometimes a flock of monkeys came and nipped the buds massively, destroying the crop of the whole plot. Thus the hard days would start right from the preparation of the nurseries during the month of Magh or Falgun until the crops were harvested and brought to the house. Mostly I with my dad had to go to watch the cultivated plot so that the crops grew safely with enough water and fertilizer. While returning home, we had to collect firewood or the grass to feed the cattle. The life used to be very hard after transplanting the seedlings which needed to be regularly watered. Particularly in dry seasons, there wouldn’t be sufficient water in the stream and it was very difficult to supply enough water to the plants.
It would be further hectic during the harvest time. We had to take help of several people for cutting and threshing the ripe and dried paddy and carry the sacks on our back to our house. We used to thresh the paddy seeds from the plants on a big flat rock on the side of the stream. Sometimes the swollen stream from a heavy rainfall overflowed the rock and claimed the paddy that was ready to be housed. We used the straw for feeding the cattle and for roofing. I remember the moments of carrying the bundles of straw up along a street soaring up rapidly to our house. An exhausted body due to the hard work of the day was now squeezed with the load of paddy sacks or straw packs! What a hard life I lived that time and the situation is still the same with my dad and other members there! Sometimes I cursed my birth-place but that was of no help! The nice thing is that the evening meal after a heavy work of the day was so sweet that there is nothing sweeter than that meal in the world and the sleep of the night after an exhaustive work of the day was so gorgeous and heavenly that there can not be any nicer sleep than that sleep. Those meals and sleeps were much-much-much better than the meals and the sleeps of the Semesters with Home Assignments of Quantum and Statistical Mechanics during my PhD coursework.
God! Those were the days of the balance of the physical and mental work but now are the days of more mental pressure than a physical fatigue!

Part-9 August 18,2007

(Contd:)

My high school life:

After completing my primary and lower secondary education from a school in my village, I went to a high school close to the our district headquarter. The school was about three and half hours walk from my house. So it was not possible to go to school everyday. An uncle of our neighbourhood and a friend from the next village took a room at a place which was about half an hour walk from the school. It was a completely new experience to go to high school as I was away from home for the first time. There were about 60 to 70 students in my class. I was hard-working and no one in my class could beat me to memorize and present the lessons. In the final exam of grade-VIII, I secured the second position in the class. I couldn't beat the person who stood the first. The class topper was really smart.I also couldnot make it because I was in bed for about a month because of some sickness just before the final exam. When I went to grade-IX, people started to see me differently. They might have thought that I was smart and even could beat the class topper who had made history in the school, never being the second. There were beautiful girls in my class from the Newar community and they used to come to me to ask questions about homework. But I felt shy to talk to them. In response, they talked each other about me in their language. Their gossipping made me feel nervous. Anyway, my hard work was ultimately paid when I stood the FIRST in the DISTRICT WISE SEND-UP EXAM. Oh man, people who knew me lauded my achievement. Not only this, I beat all the SLC candidates of the district in the SLC EXAM too.

Anyways, this was the first visible reward to my hard work and my dad's and grandma's devotion towards the MOMLESS kids !!

Part-10: August 19,2007

(Contd:)

The transition period from my school to college life:

As soon as I finished my SLC exam, I came back to home and waited for the SLC result for about 3/4 months. Friends who were strong financially were making plans of their further studies in that period but I was helping my family at home and farms. My regular chores were as usaul like - go to the jungle, collect grass for cattle, graze the cows and buffaloes , feed them in the evening, milk the cattle, eat the dinner and go to bed. I passed the SLC exam securing a good percentage. I was the topper in the district in the exam of that year. I went to school to see my teachers and to collect my marksheet. My teachers were very happy in my achievement. They congratulated me and asked my further plans. I had no plans because I had no money to join a college of my choice.My teachers suggested me to join science stream and pursue the higher studies in Science so that I could become a doctor or an engineer. Their suggestions pushed me to dream ambitiously. I started thinking to join a science college for my further studies. I went back to home and expressed my desire to my dad. He praised my desire but he was helpless because the study of science was costlier and I had to go really far from home for this. I insisted my dad to get some money for the admission in Dharan Campus, which was the closest science campus from our place. After a struggle for some days, he was able to collect Rs.2000 for me.I went to Dharan Campus taking this money. Ifilled out application form and waited for the day of name publication of the eligible candidates. My scores met the criteria for the admission and I was admitted in PHYSICAL GROUP in Dharan Campus,Hattisar. It was just the admission, the road ahead was hazy and cloudy in two ways. I had no regular source of money to pay for the fees and tuition in the college and it cost much to live in the city. This was a tough time financially. I had not studied science in Grades IX and X, as it was an optional subject there at that time and becuase of the shortage of science teacher in my school.This created a tough time academically !

This was a start of the next difficult time beyond my childhood !

Part-11: August 20,2007

(Contd :)

When there is a will, there is a way:

I got admission in the science stream in one of the reputed campuses of the country. I started looking for some financial help from somewhere. Fortunately, I got a family who needed a teacher to teach their four/five children of ages 4-10. In compensation, I would get a room to live in and two meals a day. Wow, I was getting lodging and fooding for devoting some of time to the kids! Wasn't it nice for someone like me in that difficult situation! I started my teaching and study life for the first time. I was also looking for some other kinds of financial help to pay for the books, college fees and tuition. One of my friends had suggested me that his brother was working in Science Development Project (it collapsed later) and so I might get a scholarship to pursue my studies of Intermediate degree of Science from there if I contacted his office. According to his suggestion, I wrote a letter to his brother in Kathmandu mentioning my credentials and financial needs. After about a month I got a letter from him that I was awarded that scholarship for two years. Thanks god! He was really great. His recommendation helped me make my study easier. I now decided to focus on my study and not to do any teaching. I shifted my apartment close to the campus. A friend from my high school and I started staying together sharing an apartment. I used to get Rs. 421 per month for my stipend. The fee was just Rs 21 per month. The life was little better financially!
I would like to thank my friend who suggested the way to get that scholarship (Unfortunately he died few years back untimely- May his SOUL reside in the HEAVEN!). I would also like to thank his brother who helped on managing this stipend for me.

This reminds me, "When there is a will, there is a way."

Maila Dai,
Since this is a true chronicle, I have high regards for your "will to succeed".
There are many students from every village in Nepal who are in very bad situation like you were and many of them will not make it because they will never get the opportunities you got.You had great support from your family and friends.I salute your Dad and Grandma. You couldn’t have done it without them.

Waiting for next part…

mailo dai ko sukhka din aaye haina ta ?

Thanks to all who are clicking on my AUTOBIOGRAPHY. This is my first draft written directly on the SAJHA.COM message box and so there may be some spelling and grammatical errors. You will excuse me for that.

I am just a PhD student in a US University and not so much great achiever for the TOP-BOTTOM viewers but I may be a great achiever for the BOTTOM-TOP viewers. I started writing this for my own sake but the number of times the topic has been clicked and the comments written here made me feel that my story created an interest to some of the SAJHA readers. I appreciate your time and patience.I am honest in my writing to recall my past as such and I am sure that there are countless people who have faced or have been facing this kind of hard time in their childhood or even more miserable ones.

I appreciate the comments/responses of 'Aug25,1997 ', 'batas' ,'CHYAME KANCHA' and 'Balbhadra' to my writing. I would also like to thank all of you who went through this real story.

I will try to continue the episodes in coming days.

Thanks very much !

Dr. Mailo,

Nice.

I have one and only question now.

May be you have already completed your qualification too or preparing.

1. What plans you have after your PhD or Post PhD? May be you have a wider spectrum about Nepal right?

Dhanyabaad