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jira
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Posted on 11-22-07 9:41
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I am tired of living my extra generic life. I always wanted to be an extraordinary but I have been failing in every step of my life. 20s was devastating. I did not like Nepali girls back then not that I tried any one of them and those Jennifers never gave damn to this naive Gurkha. Hey! "What is your major?", believe me, that was my pick up line and I thought it would work. "I would make no mistake", I vowed like Uncle Sam did in Aairaque and guess what! I was already married with my father's choice in my mid 30s before I remembered that I had once dreamt about geting married with this beautiful Jennifer..I mean blondie,'the Green card'. I know it is hard to be extraordinary without having any potential especially even when celebs have hard time maintaining their status. MJ is gone crazy, Hingis tried pot but still no luck there that she had to retire. Paris got outta jail for showing good bahvior. If it was all about good behavior, why would she go to jail in the first place? Celebs drive me crazy man. They need to have something going on all the time. Hey! I give you hundred bucks, zoom in my saggy arse while I walk in public. Britney is like ..will you be there?, shall I not wear panties?.....Crazy bastards. Tell you what! if you hear any celebs especially women planning to write books on kids, you should assume that either their cosmetic surgery has gone wrong or their doctors might have told them that breast implant would no longer work in their decaying body. Contrary to these facts, this old chap Girija is still on the run. I call him a thing, not a human being who in no time can make some pretense comments against his opponents while coming out of his two hr. hospital visit. You better believe me! he is a brand name like Nike which neither produces nor designs anything anymore, but still performs. So, Girija a brandname for nepali politics is my hero and is hardly replenishible. What say you guys?
It is Thanksgiving today and good thing for me is that no Nepalese community do any program in Thanksgiving otherwise it is like double jeopardy for us. Two new years, two Dashain, Tij & St. Patricks day and no matter what we do, the show ends with Daal-Bhaat-Tarkari. No wonder culturally, we are sooo rich. I am tired of watching all these Jhanki. I already know everything. Why would I go there? I am no longer interested in Lakhe dance performed by this 38 year old chubby wife of so called MC whose bone density is as high as her body fat and on top of that I do not want to pay 20 bucks to see these kids frolicking in and around the rostrum who are constantly being zoomed in by their parents. "DVD banawuana la, ewuta nepal jaani manchhey phela parya cha", says this dude who portrays himself as Spielberg for a while. I would rather fly to my host family's house. Last Thanksgiving, I was in flight en route to this little city of Huntsville. Man I do not deserve this. I do not like to be served by these grumpy grannies whinning about the kids of their half daughters and sons. On top of that, they serve peanuts like they are serving monkeys. I was dismayed when I heard that I could not have coke because it was only 3 hr. domestic flight. I was like myaaam!! give me a break, our airlines back home serve full course meal even for 2 hr. flight if they are not grounded. Talking about this airlines, I was puzzled to read why those media were making a big deal about sacrificing goats in the runway while ago. I think it is a modern day CPR performed on non living things. Desperate situation leads to take desperate measures. That was all, nothing more than that. Forget about BBC, even domestic medias were poking fun as if they have never heard of Bahaan puja. I thought that was more funnier than the news itself. "Astami ko din bike ma omlet bana ko birsis bajjey?"..bhanawu ki jasto
No news is exciting. Everything is being slowed down. Uncle SAM does not see crumbled Aairaque as a place for WMD anymore, Tom Cruise does not have new projects for his scientology mission, even OJ has toned down a bit switching gears from murder to robbery. Gap kids has rejected Indian products blaming India for child labor. Should we eat Mc donalds here?..and how about those kids riding bicycle early in the morning throwing newspaper in their neighborhood? The only difference is इधर इनका गली, उधर अपनी गली... पङ्गा मत ले यार! . May be these folks have yet to read the news that India has recently developed the world's fastest supercomputer which can process trillions of data in a second. Thanks Balakrishnamadhusundaram! Mamta, the 'Kaal' girl in Mumbai can now serve multiple customers at the same time. But whatever they do, I never like these desi bhai no matter how scrwed I am. I would rather be Mexican but pretending to be Mexican is no easy job either. You have to have kids man! I mean at least four, otherwise you will be thrown out Of Mexican community. I am glad that I was born in Nepal otherwise it would be so hard to maintain latino status raising Santos, Carlos, Ricardo , Maria, one on the stroller and one due in summer of 2008.
Oh ya..it is Thanksgiving again and I am already worried about my lunch. Tell you bit about myself, I am a healthy 44 year old male who can not perform anything except for whinning unlike my Girija who is doing everything and continiously performing like crazy despite the recent doping charge. Rumor has it.
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abracadabra
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Posted on 11-22-07 10:01
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TutunKaMun
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Posted on 11-22-07 10:21
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Nice one.. Keep them coming
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KaLaNkIsThAn
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Posted on 11-22-07 10:25
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वोहोऽऽऽऽऽ! Jira bro is back with what he does the best. It's always great to read your piece and this one is yet again, right on the money. When was the last time I read from Jira bro? Last Thanksgiving? :D Hope everything is कुशल मङ्गल -- and happy thanks giving to you. Everything you said up there was hilarious and made wayyyy more sense than this years critically acclaimed supposed strong Oscar contender "No Country for Old man" that I watched yesterday (Gawwd!!! The movie was going great for about one and half hours -- thrilling, great performances, great screenplay -- and then suddenly, everything fell apart in last 15 mins). You were so right about those granny serving peanuts as if they were serving chicken parmasen. Sometime I feel like I am flying for free.
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Samsara
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Posted on 11-22-07 10:40
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Eggcellent...Its the Samsara himself, and I loved it! Where did this come from? Had no friggin clue we had another fab writer out there. Will search to see if you have any more postings out there. BTW, Happy turkey day!!
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ratobhaley
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Posted on 11-22-07 1:33
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Nice one jira, excellent narration style. Hey samsara how you doing?
शुभ धन्यवाद हस्तान्तरन दिवस to everyone
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Narayangarh suburb
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Posted on 11-22-07 3:53
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Nice one. It's snowing and cold out here so missing MoMo but noway wanting to go for turkey. Should thank NEPAL
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coffee333
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Posted on 11-22-07 4:48
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Superb !!! I enjoyed it phed dekhi tuppo samma!!
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fanatic
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Posted on 11-22-07 4:59
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wow its like funny stand up comedy thing....nice one...keep them comming...
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dukhiatma
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Posted on 11-22-07 5:02
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good job jira bro....as i was surfing net getting stuffed and guilty with a big fat turkey leg and a bottle of spiced rum trying to escape cold.....i found ur article and it was damn nicee....specially the blonde jennifer giving dyamnn to naive gurkhass....maan baata lekhdo raichaa bro and those kinda things are better than people who fake.....thumbs up for u my fren and yo article ma naramro comment hanne haterz haru laii chaii advance maii mid fingers up the air......god bless
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Samsara
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Posted on 11-22-07 6:20
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Bhaley bro, Happy turkey day to you too!! Enjoy the feast.
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sum_off
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Posted on 11-23-07 12:19
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Jira,
In-laws are in-laws. They don’t
care much; they only illustrate some designed interest, because they are
in-laws. The thanksgiving turkey could have been juicier, but at internal
temperature of 165 degrees, I couldn’t blame the bird for not being succulent. I
have no complaints, the gravy was juicy enough. Isn’t that a
synonym? You may ask. That is not the point of this commentary.
The after dinner conversation was
not so priceless. My in-laws are so much into matchmaking; being with them
feels like being in a roundtable meeting at eHarmony.com.
So, what do I do? I roam from one
room to another looking for a PC (or a laptop) with the Internet connection. I
find one. I type Sajha.com to see if someone has posted some comments in my new
thread. There is none. In a way, I am relieved.
Glanced through the Kurakani
threads and saw your piece. I had to click on it because I remember your witty
poem titled ‘Eh Baa, Kathmandu maa Dashain aayo.’
Besides, being a rumormonger myself, I wanted to find out what the rumor was.
What a refreshing read
it turned out to be. Sajha is full of romantics who see the glass half-full
even when it is in the dishwasher. I had been looking for a true cynic in Sajha
for the longest time. I am glad I found one. You juici-fied my otherwise bland
thanksgiving. Now I can pardon the dry turkey that is still stuffed in my
intestines.
Happy thanksgiving!
I sincerely thank you for the six
minutes of uninterrupted entertainment. The next time, I demand 12 minutes.
Last edited: 23-Nov-07 07:32 AM
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jira
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Posted on 11-23-07 9:11
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thanks abracadabra, Tuntunkamun.
Kalnaki bro, khai aajkaal yastai hokyarnu sajha ma barallini ali kum bha cha rey kya .. tyo bhandaima aru thok positive chai kyai chaina pheri...budho bhaiyo kyarey..page kholna ni swan swan huncha aajkaal ta.Thanks for stopping by. Puraana sabbai harrai gaye ta aba
Samsara! thanks for retracing my thread, I seldom write these days and by the time I check sajha, it is already history and like you said, I do not bother unless I have to reply to folks like you.
Ratibhalay ra Nayangadh Suburb lai late Turki Diwas hai.
Coffee333 ra fanatic lai byana ko tattato coffee chadhawuchu khuttai ma polni gari rey kya :-)
Dukhiaatma tyasrai dukhi nabanam hai..vaccation aai ra bela..taal ramro parla jasto yo paal
Sum off! Thank you for shopping at Walmart rey kya. You are one of the few who I enjoy reading. I think I barely miss yours as long as I see them in the front page. yastai ho kyaarni....gungun garna mun laagni kaileykai
Last edited: 23-Nov-07 09:13 AM
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Deep
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Posted on 11-23-07 9:23
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Jiradai,
harip gayo la -- ramo ram. bidyanas! yo ta tyo "himal herera" jastai ghachchi ko re chha --
la gaushala aaunu paryo ek ek cup chiya ra churos tandai puraana gaf jhikne bela bhayo jasto chha. Mauka pare battisputali tira baata aauneharulai ni herdimla -- once again -- kya!
Last edited: 23-Nov-07 02:24 PM
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bhakunde bhut
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Posted on 11-23-07 1:45
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I am strolling around the park. I try reading between the lines about the things as they are. One moment, I figure out I have fathomed the dynamics but in a jiffy my understanding turns out to be half cooked.
With my monologue, I am judgmental.
Jira, my impression of your article.
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Ram Prasad
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Posted on 11-23-07 3:43
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Wow....what a piece. My cheeks were streteched as far it could due to my wide open (ugly) smile. Superb..Superb...
You made my day smiley....
Last edited: 23-Nov-07 03:44 PM
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Amazing
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Posted on 11-23-07 3:58
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Its so kool Bebe
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u_day
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Posted on 11-23-07 6:55
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Maybe someday maoists will start a tradition of thanksgiving in nepal as white people did in this country 100s of years ago.
Until then happy turkey day.
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nothing to say
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Posted on 11-23-07 9:14
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can u make it short. I ain't much time to read ur story.
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sgy
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Posted on 11-24-07 8:37
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You never fail to crack me up, Jira. Keep posting your musings now and then, hai.
BTW, didn't we meet in ANA convention in Virginia back in 2002?
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