I was talking to an American colleague yesterday about Teej and she found it hard to believe that Nepali women treat their husbands almost as if they are gods. What she said made sense. As long as women don't treat men as equals, men will not treat women as equals. All over the world there are women's right movements to promote equality. I came to the US 5 years ago and one thing I like about it is how both husband and wife work together sharing all their responsibilities. Teej practice shows almost godlike devotion from wife for husband. I don't know why Nepali women like to be so suppressed on their own free will. If you show them you want to be their slaves and then you complain they treat you like slaves. You can show how much you love your husbands in many different ways.

Agreed with everybody, mostly futyakarma , the last one was hilarious ;-) but very true . Don't like to write in English but still getting errors from my pc , otherwise I had ghachhu answers , where are those ladies who were on the opposite side, let's have a healthy debate

Living USA doesn't mean there is no gender inequality. Please watch "19 and counting" where woman have baby and eldest daughters take care of their new born siblings (mum is baby machine and daughters are taught to do household chores i.e abuse on women by women), conservatives are against birth control, women take half of alimony that they never worked for (women have given more rights than men). These are few examples. If Nepali women enjoy celebrating Teej let them do that and OP feels good not doing so, lets be it. OP will not great advocate of gender equality just eliminating Teej festival. In our society, there is more abuse women on women (mother in law vs daughter in law, sister in law vs nanda, mother feels bad when she has only a daughter as child not son) than men on women.

I am not sure if men are pushing women to celebrate Teej. I haven't seen men getting excited about Teej as much as I have seen women. May be it is because Teej is associated with "Maita" and getting together with friends and sisters. So women have to liberate themselves and stop celebrating it. It's like a mother-in-law being mean to her daughter-in-law and giving her a hard time in her husband's house. If the mother-in-law was treated like that by her mother-in-law n the past, should she not realise how unfair it was and vow not to do the same on her daughter-in-law? So yes it is upto women to whether continue or stop this non-sense festival called Teej.

@ Nilasha- With all due respect I would like to know if your mother celebrated Teej or not and what your father has to say about it? I assume you father might have said don't do it or it's not necessary but your mother did it any way. That's what happened in my case.

Every country has its unique culture and tradition. And i know you know it. If you talk with americans about our culture I will guarantee you that they will be surprised or they might not believe it e.g. teej

Culture/traditions/beliefs these are difficult to change. It might change eventually but its difficult. Lastly, don't compare our counrty with america. We have our own way of doing things and vice-versa. Thanks...

What a married woman does is ultimately upto herself and if she feels her existence is tied to being of servitude to her husband by fasting and drinking water from husband's feet while the husband is not expected to do something similar, then more power to the women who do it. If the United states had said it was okay to discriminate against blacks and treat them as slaves because it was the culture and tradition, then slavery would never have been abolished

Eastern cultures and Western styles shouldn't be compared as they are polar opposites--just take example of cow-- and shouldn't be mix with each other as such result will just ridicule you while they are valid in their own locations.Teej,simply,with no exaggeration,is celebration of martial-life,donning all red attires by miss/mrs/madams with accessories that too are red and dancing and singing for the long life of their loved ones,which sounds not a bad idea or I would say pretty great idea and should only be participated by those who feel blessed after marriage and whose husbands love them much.As a literate ones and as someone who fly around the globe,we should get the simple,pristine meaning of such festivals while editing the not-needed rituals and cutting those doesn't-make-sense-to-me "stuffs" and practice only that which they feel right.If you are feeling like a slave in Teej...you are over-doing it--more than your hubby deserve ;if you think its a bullshit..you are getting ultra-modern;if you celebrate it,knowing the reason for doing it without hampering your own self respect by your own wish,then you are all good to go. Isn't being in martial life implies going along in same direction,holding hands together and having lots of funs in the journey together??;so,why missed a chance or festival (or opportunity?) by both husband and wife which will in return brings lots of smiles and prosperity for both parties.Not that one shouldn't eat anything or not a single drop of water which is kind of harsh and bitter but how about just participating in it, taking light meals(without telling anyone in your own cozy room??) and taking juice at intervals( works as water) and there are just so many ways to do it if you really want to do it!

What I found is the knowledge that Hindu civilizations enmeshes are too good if you cut all the sickly rituals,which I think are brewed from nowhere in the long passing years.A celebration of fertility and blessings, which marriage brings and praying for the long-life of love-of-the-life does makes sense on the long run.And if you just stick with just drinking water from the feet and taking part in it so humongously that you get exhausted emotionally and physically,then you are doing it in wrong way,missing all those good vibes/luck it was destined to bring!.

The most surprising thing about this post is that "Nilasha" realized AFTER her "AMERICAN" colleague found it hard to believe that Nepali women treat their husbands almost as if they are gods, which concludes that you must have made that impression while you were explaining. Look around you and think again .. lot of things have changed now !!

@ nilasha
hune bhako bhaye ek patak chadyamma gala chadkaidinthey..for your such weirdo mentality and creepy post..
na suddi ani buddi aii halthyo ki?
i wish you were my wife, ani you would have realized that nepali husband are not only almost like a god, they have the other side too : DEMON; and this is the side you deserve. :)

nilasha bhanne kt le kaile true lop nai gareko rainaca!! 
so, you do not realize and understand the importance of relationship decorated by love

oh yaa! it's been a decade, i've been living in usa and i have seen the dark side of the so called equal right culture you are glittering of.
girl, trust me, sooner or later, eventually you gonna like the same Nepali culture...

regarding teej ma brata ani treating husband like a god, (BTW the god segment is just a hype, it's not completely true)
that is out of dedication and love, probably you may never understand it. love gareko bhaye po tha hunthyo!! 
------
oh yaa
washington dc/baltimore ma ek jana nepali kt che, RASBARI :P

i assume I am not yet in deep love with her, may be, not sure :) 
i just like her so much that i would love to fast for her on every Teej!! and of course love to treat her like my goddess..
WHY??
am i a looser?? NAAA!
BCause, I am a LOVER and that would be all because of love, dedication and respect for the one i love and i adore.

@hareram, with due respect, that's what I am trying to say. People today follow traditions blindly, without realizing the implications and they need to show that they are educated and throw away traditions that are demeaning. It is like racism. It was the culture in the US to segregate and discriminate against blacks. If people kept discriminating against them because if was the culture, then they would still be treated as slaves. As we get more educated, we need to end such wrong practices so that there is no discrimination among human beings.



@sijanrana, Seems like you cannot read correctly.
"The most surprising thing about this post is that "Nilasha" realized AFTER her "AMERICAN" colleague found it hard to believe that Nepali women treat their husbands almost as if they are gods"

I never realized anything. I was talking to an American colleague about Teej and she found it hard to believe that Nepali women treat their husbands almost as if they are gods. There is no realization there. She said "As long as women don't treat men as equals, men will not treat women as equals." which made sense.





@sojoketo, you are showing your male chauvinistic pig attitude. You think it makes you a better person because you are strong and you can bully women by slapping them and making them your slaves?

The truth is you do not have to prove your love by following these ancient traditions. If you encourage women to drink water from your feet then you still want to dominate the women and treat them like they used to 100 years ago.

I don't condemn women for doing this on their own free will, but simply I believe this is not necessary and not healthy practice which is still accepting male dominance. If you feel it's to show dedication and love, why don't you wash your wife's feet and drink the water. Love is not something you show by such stupid actions of dominance or extreme servitude.

You probably believe that wife needs to cook for your everyday and clean your mess and do everything to meet your needs like your mom does for your father. I don't have anything against you, since you are just a product of your culture. I have seen many men who want to go back to Nepal after they lived in the US for a while because they crave for the culture which oppresses women. And guess what? most women do not want to go back because they have gotten a taste of equality in America and they don't want to go back to the same oppressing culture. They need to stop following those cultural practices even in the US to set an example.

I like Nilasha's thoughts.
These 'with the devotion of love' craps never make sense to me. Are there anything like that men do for women? Fasting for a day, drinking that water...anything close to it? Heck no.

I respect the love and devotion that one has for his/her partner. And we are stronger on these values...but these one-sided things are just control mechanism. Just accept it people.

Nilasha......do you like to play bondage role with your significant other? Its not forced if you think about it.

Think of Teej the same way....no men are forcing women to worship them on that particular day or any other day but most Nepali women do not want to miss out on a month long Teej Party, New Sets of Sari and Jewelry, and 2-3 pounds of indian store sweets and most importantly showing off ANOTHER WOMEN their stuffs.

Are you trying to convince all the men here that women take this to worship their men? LOL

@Sidster that is not an equivalent comparison.

Bondage are played with each others by setting your own rules. The rules of bondage are not set by a discriminatory society, while the rules of teej is set by a male dominant society.

Sari, jewelry etc is all good and they do not need to wait for a particular day to show it off. Maybe Teej can be combined with valentines day when lovers show love for each other, or perhaps if Nepali women have such a great need to show off their stuff, they can create a show off day that is devoted to women and not to please the dominant male society.

how about Mahadev Nilasha sister. Mahadev, i mean 'the god of all gods'.
महादेवको भक्ति गर्दैमा लोग्नेको खुट्टाको पानि खानु पर्छ भनेको होइन तर 'धर्म र एस्लाई अपनाउने क्रममा चलि आएका चलन र लामो समयपछि संस्कृतिको रुप लिएका कुरालाई नारी-पुरुषको चेतना बिकसित हुदै गरेको अहिलेको समाजमा ति कुराहरु साचिकै असमानताका सूचक हुन् कि होइनन भन्नलाई कस्तो background को मान्छे संग कुरा गर्दैछु भन्ने कुराले प्रभाब पार्छ |

धर्मलाई अफिम ठान्ने हिसिला यमी जस्ता दिदीले यो चलन घोर असमानता सूचक छ भनिन भने, त्यो पुरै धार्मिक आस्था संग जोडिएर आउछ | तर कुनै दिदि-बहिनि सामान्यता शिव-भक्त भए पनि यो चलन चै समय-सपेक्श्च्या छैन, बरु एसले महिला अझ पिडित हुन्छन भन्ने सोचाइमा भए अर्कै खालको कुरो हुन्छ | तपाई कस्तो खालको पर्नु भो , तेसै जान्न मन लगेर सोधेको नि |

हुनत महादेव र कृष्ण जी लाइ पनि व्यभिचारी ठान्ने जमानामा स्वास्नी कुट्ने लोग्ने पनि नभएका होइनन | तर बिकसित समाजमा (कमसेकम पढेलेखेका महिलालाइ भनेको ) आ-आफ्नो राजीखुसीले चाडपर्ब मान्ने तरिका लाइ बिरोध गरेर हामी अल्लि असहिस्सुड़ा त भएका छैनौ ??

अझै पनी घरमा बिहान हजुर बा /हजुर आमाले बिहान पुजा गरेपछि नातिनीलाइ टिका लगाएर गोडा नाधोगे सम्म खाना खादैनन् | हुनत यो सब गरेको बुढा/बुडी ले पुन्न्य कमौना हो - आफ्नै स्वार्थ ले हो | श्रीमतीले लोग्नेको गोडाको पानी खाने पनी पुण्य कमौना नै हो - त्यो पनी आफ्नै स्वार्थ हो |

तत् तेसरिपनि पुण्य कमाईइन्च भनेर भन्नु हुन्छ भने पुरै भौतिक बादी सोचाई भयो, विवाद गर्नु बेकार हुन्छ | 'भगवान हुन्छ कि हुन्न' भन्ने कुरामा विवाद गरे जस्तै हुन्छ , जसको कुनै अन्त्य छैन \

समयले काचुली फेरेपछि, जवानीले साथ छोडेपछि, बुढेशकालले घेरेपछि थाहा हुन्छ नेपाली कल्चर को महत्तो | उमेर ४० नाघेपछी यस्तो भन्ने दिन नआओस: "कुइरेसंग पारपाचुके भयो, समयमा बुद्दी पुगेन, चाहिने भन्दा बढी बाठो भैयो, तीज त आयो, नाच्न पनि मन त छ, कसैले केहि भन्ने पो हुन् कि" ;-)

गायिका अन्जु पन्त बढी बाठो भईन भन्ने सुनिन्छ आजकाल, माफी पनि मागिन रे, हैन यो कुइरेको बान हरुमा, कुइरेको धर्ममा तेस्तो के छ र हाम्रा चेलीहरु यस्ता हुन थालेका | २० वर्ष सम्म बाउ आमाले दिएको संस्कार २-३ वर्षको कुइरेको मुलुकले पचायो? वाह रे दुनिया | भोलि पर्सि आफ्नो छोराले "Don't tell me what I should do, its my life" भन्दा थाहा हुन्छ अमेरिका को स्वाद !

फेरी पनि, पढे लेखेका साथी भाइ हरुले फोर्स गर्छन जस्तो लाग्दैन, कसैले आफ्नो खुसीले ब्रत लिन्छन भने आपत्ति हुनु हुन्न | तीज लाई भेलेन्तैन दिन संग तुलना नागर्या भए हुने, सिवजीले सराप देलान नि :P, सुन्दा पनि भ्याँटा-लेनदेन जस्तो सुनिन्छ ...हाहाहा

And that is exactly what modern day Muslim make the excuse of how great, fair and tolerant Islam is. Turns out Mohammed married a widow. Yet these days Muslim women can be stoned to death for having an affair. The wife of Muhammed was the power behind his success, yet modern day Muslim cannot even drive a car.
Regardless of how great your religion was, the reality check comes when you are alive.
If there is Tej, where is the male version of it? Where is the male celebration of 'long life' of their wife? Isn't it hypocritical in this day and age when all women do these day is fight for 'equality'
Nobody is forcing you NOT to celebrate but keep in mind the underlying reason of such festival and ask your self 'Is it equality?'
My 2 cents

@nilasa buddhi bhrasta bhako kt
kina yesto lagi rako cha, euta galama matra haina dubai galama chadyamma jhapad hirkaunu parla jasto cha. you seriously need a good vibe playing around your filthy brain.

Nilasa :@sojoketo, you are showing your male chauvinistic pig attitude.
Let’s hang out babe, i can show you my piggy chauvinistic behavior and skill too.You gonna love it. 

Nilasa : You think it makes you a better person because you are strong and you can bully women by slapping them and making them your slaves?
Yes it makes me feel better to be strong but what a pathetic thought of yours that guys are stronger than girls?
You should know by now since you have been living in USA for 5+ years that the physical activity is operated by brain and it is not yet scientifically proved that man has active/strong brain than woman.
bal haina kt buddi lagau (aba buddhi bhaye po lagaune and seriously i can't help you with that)
Oh Yaa, no doubt every guys have better brain than yours. Even of Nas(ey)

Nilasa: bullying? making them your slaves?
wtf is that?
I bully no one but your post is apparently bullying every Nepalese woman who do respect the Nepali culture and adore their wonderful relationship with their life partner.
No doubt you bully male, never knew sajha is full of freaky creepy westernize nepalese girl who bullies Nepali male being with kurie/kale..chee.. (Hispanic is opted out as they look like Nepali and no doubt you are not into them. Poor Hispanic guys  ).
San(ey) can we plz eradicate such character from Sajha? 

Nilasa :The truth is you do not have to prove your love by following these ancient traditions.
Then How? By gifting bunch of red roses, paying all bills out of your pocket? paying for child support and alimony for the rest of your life (applies in case of divorce). OR
By having a open relationship, switching partners , trying 3 some?
Let me tell you,
The survey i conducted over 100 ladies from your so called wonderful equal right culture,
20 ladies : are bisexual ( I ain’t have any problem as I don’t discriminate, their choice of living)
50 ladies : strictly straight but up for trying new things 3 some, gangbang and at least want to have a experience of having physical encounter with the same sex.
Rest of 30’s and more: want to have open relationship, seeking partner who agrees for switching partners and crave for black thing.
MY question why so much into black?
Two of them responded: once you go black you ain’t be back!!
I ain’t get it before but when I goggled I got it. If you don’t know better not google it but I assume westernize girl like you know what it is! 

That’s the truth of your so called wonderful equal right culture. I ain’t saying all of them are like what my survey indicates but it takes a year for one to find the couple of good who might be not like what my survey indicated. And those would be the one who are either tired of cheating or trying not to cheat.
You got it?
NOPE? You won’t. 
But how most of the male jati are being dominated by most of the filthy female in the county of your choice, that is simply inhuman.

Nilasa : I don't condemn women for doing this on their own free will:
If you don’t condemn then don’t criticize. It attacks the dignity of nepali women and nepali men who adores their relationship and the culture.