Recently the father of physics made a visit to earth to watch a movie. He watched a few Indian movies and had his head spinning. He was convinced that all his logics and laws in physics were just a huge pile of junk and apologized for everything he had done.

In the movie of Mithun chakravarthy, Newton dada was confused to such an extent that he went paranoid. Here are a few scenes:

1) Mithunda has a Brain Tumor, which according to the doctors can't be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great Mithunda is shot in the head. To everybody's surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured.
Long Live
Mithunda

2) In one of the movies, Mithunda is confronted with 2 gangsters. Mithunda has a Gun but unfortunately only one bullet.

Guess, what he does.......

He holds a knife in his hand and shoots the bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces and kills both the gangsters.

Then, Mithunda utters the following dialogue
"Apun ka naam hai HIRA, Apun ne sabko Chiraa".

3) Mithunda is chased by a gangster. Mithunda has a revolver but he got no bullets in it. Guess what he does. Nah not even in your remotest imaginations. He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots, Mithunda opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun.

Bang... And the gangster dies....

4) The heroine is tied to an electric chair and the remote is in the hands of the villain about 100 km away. As usual, the villain confronts the hero saying
"Hathiyar phek do warna main yeh remote ka button dabake tumhari mehbooba ko mar doonga".

The usual fight occurs and just as the hero makes the final blow, the villain dies but not before he presses than damn button. Now what to do? Sure enough, there is a horse and the hero jumps on it.

Now there is a race:
The current in the cable connected to the electric chair is moving fast but our hero and his horse are desperately trying to catch up.... goes on for a few km and just as the current would hit the chair, the hero jumps from the horse and picks the girl away from the chain and husssshhhh. She is saved. The poor electric current only goes to an empty chair.
Climax, taaalian.
Hero!
Hero!! Hero!!!

This was too much for our Newton to take and he was completely shaken and he decided to go back. But he happened to see a Rajnikanth movie for one last time and thought that at least one movie will follow his theory of physics.

The whole movie goes fine and Newton is happy that all in the world hasnt changed. Oops not so fast. The climax finally arrives. Rajni gets to know that the villain is on the other side of a very high wall so high that Rajni can't jump even if he tries like one of those superman techniques that our heroes normally use. Rajni has to desperately kill the villain because its the climax. Newton dada is smiling since it is virtually impossible). Rajni suddenly pulls two guns from his pocket (Probably a backup). He throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached the height of the wall, he shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air, with his second gun. Now the first gun fires off and the villain is dead.

Newton faints.

What about Guitar and Hindi movie actors/actresses?
Carlos Santana le dekhe pani bhutukkai hune.

GangaJamunaSarswoti, Amitabh bachchan plays guitar, duitai haat ma full gloves laayera... hehe...

"churaliya hain tumne" bhanne geet ma heroine has 2 inches long nails on the fingers of both of her hands, and yet she plays guitar, khatara taal le!!

Most of them, they just grab the neck of the guitar through out the song..

ajha, kaadh maa haalera daada paakha ghumdai hindine po ta gajab cha!!

Mithun getting electrified by electric guitar in "disco dancer"? hehe.. I forgot.

Funny!! : ))

Ajit ko jokes ko ta ma big fan ho ni hau sathiho! Here are a few Ajit jokes that you may enjoy... Ajit has a peculiar way of combining English and Hindi and is the king of Puns in Hindi cinema.

A: Raabart, woh admi dekh rahe ho? Woh jo bar bar apni ghadi dekh raha hai?
R: Haa boss.
A: Woh hamara meheman hai. Jao usey doosri ghadi pehenado.
R: Wo kyun boss?
A: Taki woh Do ghadi ka meheman ho jaye.
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Raabart has twin sons and asks Ajit what he should name them.

R: Boss, meri biwi ko judwa bete hue hain. Kya naam rakhun?
A: Ek na naam Peter rakhdo. Aur doosre ka naam Repeater.

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Michael and Ajit have just killed a woman who was spying on them. They are deciding what to do with the corpse.

M: Boss, ab is laash ka kya kiya jaae?
A: Is laash ke paas doodh aur kele rakh do.
M: Wo kyun boss?
A: Bewakoof. Taki log samjhe isey kisi Cereal Killer ne mara hai.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Michael and Ajit have just caught a woman spying on them. They are deciding how to punish her.

A: Michael, is ladki ko ShamePain pila do.
M: Wo kyun boss?
A: Pehle Shame se, phir Pain se mar jaae gi saali.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Ajit and his henchmen have just killed a man spying on them.

R: Boss, is laash ka kya kiya jaae.
A: Isey MicroProcessor me dal do. Bit by Bit mar jaega haramjaada.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ajit and Raabart are fleeing from the police on a boat. Suddenly, Raabart realizes that there is a hole in the boat through which water is creeping into the boat.

R: Boss. Lagta hai boat me ek chhed (hole) hai. Ab kya karein?
A: Raabart, tum bade bewakoof ho. Itni si baat se ghabragaye? Ek aur ched bana do boat mey. Ek chhed ke paas Input likhdo aur doosre pe Output. Bass, baat khattam.

In peace.

Just to add one more Ajit joke in the Simplegirls list

Michael and Ajit have just killed one more spy and are deciding what to do with the corpse.

M: Boss, ab is laash ka kya kiya jaae?
A: Is laash ko sui (needle) ke sath Road ke side pe rakh do.
M: Wo kyun boss?
A: Bewakoof. Taki log samjhenge ki is ne SUCIDE kiya he ...

Nice one Rai jee....More Ajit jokes....

R: Boss? Is kaa kyaa kare boss?
A: Raabart! Is pille ko liquid oxygen me daal do. Liquid ise jeene
nahi dega, aur oxygen ise marne nahi dega.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

P: Boss? aur is pille ka kyaa kare boss?
A: Peter! Is saale ko super-conductor me daal do, saala bus mein
ticket dete-dete thak jayega.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

R: aur boss..iska kya karen ?
A: Ise hamlet poison khilado...sochta rahega, to be or not to be !

In peace.

SG ra RAI le hasaunu hasaayo ....hahaha....really funny..

ma pani ek-dui wota share garchhu hai.

==Scene: Giving a decision as to how the hero should be killed.
Ajeet: Peter, time bomb le aao aur is saale ko usse bandh do. Timer ko
teek das bajhe set kar do. Nahin nahin, yeh saala to sub cheez
hamesha late karta hai. Iska mauth bhi late hona chahiye. Timer ko
panch minute late rakh do. Arre, Raabert, Raabert, bevkoof, silly
fellow, time bomb ko yahan peh math rakho, yeh to 'no-smoking' area
hai. Ha haa ha. Time bomb 'tic tic tic tic' karke bajega. Aur iska
dil 'tup tup tup' karke dhatakega. Tum agar paas me khade hoge
to tumko 'tic tup tic tup tic tup' suanaai dega"

===
Ajeet: Mona, tum Toni se shaadi mat karnaa, bahut mona-toni ho jaegi.
===
Ajeet: Raabert, dayna (Diana) ko kuch khatta pila do.
Robert: kyu boss ?
Ajeet: Bewkoof, woh dayna se daynasour ho jayegi, phir extinct kar dena.

Simpuuuuu!!!
Dayummmm!! You are 'ram-bhandar' of Ajit Jokes rahecha ni!!
Aru ni jaawosh ni hau!!

Peter: bass yeh aadmi to kuchh boal hee nahin rahaa...
Ajeet: Ise revolving chair pe bitha do, pataa to lage chakkar kya hai.

La mero pani aayo!! hai..chorachor garera kya..yesto aafnai dimagle banauna sakni bhaidaya bhe ta ya sajhama hallinai pardainathyo ni, hoina..


(Ajit is really pleased with the dinner at a restaurant and wants to compliment and reward the chef)
Ajit: Robert, ye chef ne aachha khana banaya. Tum ees ke ghar jao aur ees ke ghar ki bell nikal do. Bell ki jagah tum peas rakh do .
Robert: vo kyon Boss?
AJIT: Bevekuf, mein isko no-bell peas prize dena chahta hoon.

Robert: Boss, ye ladki ne hamari saab bate sun li. Is ladki ka kya kiya jaye?
Ajit: Robert, ees ladki ko maar do, aur iski choli par do traps laga do.
Robert: vo kyon boss?
Ajit: Bevakuf, jub police ko ladki ki laash milegi to police samjegi ke ladki booby trap ho kar mar gayi!!



Ajit calls Robert and Julia in the presence of rest of the gang members all around:
Ajit: Robert !!! apne kapre utaaro.......
Robert: nahin boss mujhe sharam aati hai......
Ajit: kapre nahin utare to tumhe duniya se utaar diya jayega...
Robert hesitatingly takes off all the clothes and stands among other gang members.
Ajit: julia !!! tum be apne kapre utaaro warna tumhe bhi goli maar diya jayegee....
Julia fearing the worst takes off all the clothes and stands among other gang members
Ajit : Robert aur Julia aab tum dono ek doosre ke kareeb aao....
Both hestatingly come closer
Both Julia and Robert embrace each other tightly
Ajit starts laughing loudly....ha! ha! ha!.....bahut dino se tamanna thi ki "Julia Roberts" ko nude dekhoon......

Scene: Ajit is leering at a girl who happens to be the sister of one of the extras.
Extra: ``Saab bechaari goongi hai.''
Ajit: ``are hum kahaaN usse ramayan padhvaane jaa rahe haiN.''

AJIT: "Raabert, isko Great Wall of China le jaakar phansi mein laga do, great 'wall hanging' ban jayegi"

Yo talako chahi malai khub ghat paryo..

Ajeet: Raabert, is bail kaa stool test karo.
Raabert: Stool, boss?
Ajeet: Aakhir pataa chale ki ye bullshit kya cheez hai.

yo chahi arko Guru datta bhanne re !! La padha sathi ho

If Guru Dutt had been a software consultant in the US.
(The following should be sung to the tune of an old Hindi classic song sung by late Mohammed Rafi. "Yeh Duniya agar mil bhi jayaye to kya hai...")


YEH DOCUMENT, YEH MEETINGS, YEH FEATURES KI DUNIYA
YEH INSAAN KE DUSHMAN, CURSORS KI DUNIYA
YEH DEADLINES KE BHOOKE, MANAGEMENT KI DUNIYA
YEH PRODUCT AGAR BAN BHI JAAYE TO KYA HAI?
YAHAAN EK KHILONA HAI PROGRAMMER KI HASTI
YEH BASTI HAI MURDA BUG-FIXERS KI BASTI
YAHAAN PAR TO RAISES HAI, INFLATION SE SASTI
YEH REVIEW AGAR HO BHI JAAYE TO KYA HAI?
HAR EK KEYBOARD GHAYAL, HAR EK LOGIN PYAASI
EXCEL MEIN ULJHAN, WINWORD MEIN UDAASI
YEH OFFICE HAI YA AALAME MICROSOFT KI
YEH RELEASE AGAR HO BHI JAAYE TO KYA HAI?
JALAA DO ISE, PHOONK DO YEH MONITOR
MERE SAAMNE SE HATAA DO YEH MODEM
TUMAHAARA HAI TUMHI SAMBHAALO YE COMPUTER
YEH PRODUCT AGAR CHAL BHI JAAYE TO KYA HAI?



i loved Keshto Mukharji..here is one on his name

Kesto Mukherjee had a little too much to drink one day. He was driving home from the bar one night and, of course, his car was weaving violently all over the road. A hawaldar pulls him over and asked, "kahan se aa rahe ho?"
"Iiiizzzzze! daru khane se! izzzeezzzeh!" slurs Kesto.
"Lagta hai ke aapne bahot pee rakhi hai"
"Hehheha. Lekin mai thik hu!" Kesto says in his usual style.
"Lekin aapko pata hai," says the hawaldar, "kuchh der pahle pahle aapki biwi car se gir gayi?
"Iiizzzzzezzzeeh! Tab to sab thik hai" sighs Kesto, "thodi der ke liye to apne ko laga...izzzezze...ke apun behra ho gaya hun....hehhehe".

Simpy dizzu..really funny.

haha Kalanki bro, I remember mithun getting electrified....was it dance dance or disco dancer? anyways, how about salman khan playing guitar on the same chord all the time? eheh..lead bajauda chai ..one string ma sabbai eheheheh.

well here's what i found on my email today. hope would like to share, some dhoti IT movies re:

What if the IT Industry start making films ? some future dhoti film
titles will be like :-

1) Meri disk tumhare paas hai
2) Aao chat kare
3) Programmer no.1
4) Mera naam developer
5) Java wale job le jayenge
6) Hum aapke memory mein rahate hain
7) Do processor baarah terminal
8) Tera code chal gaya
9) Har Din jo mail Karega
10) Network Ke Us Paar
11) Debugging koi Khel nahi
12) Jis Desh mein Bill(gates) rahata Hai
13) Raju ban gaya MCSE..!
14) Client ek numbari, PROGRAMMER Dus Nambari
15) Login karo sajana
16) Naukar PC ka
17) DOWN to hona hi tha
18) Partition (Deewar)
19) 1942 - A Bug Story
20) Kaho Na Virus Hai
21)dot-Company Company
22) Program Instruction Aur Method (Pyar Ishq ...)
23)Crash Se Crash Tak(QSQT)
24) Haan Meine Bhi Debug Kiya Hai
25) BugVadh
26)Logon (La! gaan)
27) Shaheed Hacker Singh
28) Hacker 420
29)Password De Ke Dekho
30)Terminal Apna Login Parayi
31) Mr Network Lal
32)Meine Debug Kiya
33)Terminal Sajake Rakhna
34) Debuggers ki Rani Hackers ka Raja
35) Kyonki Mein Debug Nahin Karta
36) Phir Teri Perl-Script Yaad Aayi
37) Crash To Hona Hi Tha
38)Yeh Tera Term Yeh Mera Term

Oys, that was funny, but you really shouldn't have used that word 'dhoti'. I know whoever sent you the email had the word there already..but the joke would have been more humorous had you deleted the word..me thinks

acharya jyu,
sorry if you got offended. that was not my intentioin.

Lets get practical here. its the same lingo when u say gorkheys instead of nepalis. That's also what ME THINKS! and just deleting one word would make the joke more funny? didn't quite get that :D

dil pe mat le yaar!

Here are couple more titles for the movie

1. Bhang Re Chawdie Aaandi aayeee
2. Hilo me Chapal Adka
3. Dhoti me Back Pocket
4. Sungur ne Muskuraya

babaji,
sabai hasaucha tara no.1 chai k ho bujhiyena....i just came up with one though...
1. do aankhe char pakhe

Filimko nam sunne ho , la suanau:

Deep tale adhera
Jira marichki kahani
Do sitare Yek najar
Bada gurkhalika, choti sajha
Tamanna america janeki
Mauke pe chauka
Dhadkan binake rananetaRajniti me politics
Nattu Kumar, Suna meri dastan
Maine kya khoya
mere pane
Kannun bambayki
Darwaje banda hai to kya huwa
Dillagi Sardaro se , Sat Shree Akal
Besharam behaya hu mai
Sujhab
Bite huye kal
naram Bhadeki badi awaj
Gau, Banduk aur Goliya
Shikayet jogiyose
Khuni mardanagi

a few hindi comedy horror movies...

bhago bhoot ka beta aaya
bhoot ka chaddi loot

1) murde ki jyan khatere main
2) hum aapke dil main raheke apse pyar karne lage
3) movie dekha ke naam pata karo
4) choti si chaddi ki story
5) kaho na pisab aai hai

This thread is the mother of all humor..so had to revive it :)

All you newbies, enjoy !

Gabbar - Are O Kalia! kitne admi the
kalia - Sarkar Woh Do the!
G - Phir bhi khali haath bapas aaye
k- Sarkar.. Un logo ne.. Verizon wireless ke jariye... bahut admi bolaye

name of upcoming indian movies

releasing soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooon

1) hum do, aur hamera bahut sare bacche .............. rated *****
2) aab tak chappan, aru kal hoga santawoun.. ****
3) darna kyon mana hai?:***
4) aaja main upar.. kal main narka main *****
5) pichwade pe kutta kata woof woof

Ok..was going thru my posts from a few years ago..and found this one... thought some of you newbies can get a laugh.

If Chuck Norris and Rajnikanth were to fight, who would win? Discuss.