I am Nescient.
I am not just a name but a person too.
I belong to someone and someone belongs to me.
I am someoneýs daughter.
I have a sister.
I have a family.
Family that I havenýt seen for decades.
Family that I once used to know.
Do I know them anymore?
They tell me stories of how I used to be
I listen, as if for the very first time,
Wondering who they are talking about.
720201920 is my social security number
I have just become a number in the computer.
Thatýs how government judges me.
I am in a land thatýs not mine.
I speak a language thatýs not mine.
I eat food thatýs not mine.
I breathe and live a life, thatýs not mine.
I am in constant fearý.of being deported
To MY land?
But still I pray to stay here?
I would rather stay here being illegal then go home
BUT Everyday I say "Jai Nepal"
And talk about how to improve homeland
Being very patriotic?
I have friends
Not like the ones back home though
Friends then never let me feel alone
Over here, everyone is busy
No one has time, even me?
I have my own tradition, culture and religion
That I made fun of
As I try to fit in here
And now I canýt fit in anywhere
Cause I canýt let go of my past.
I once knew nescient, but that isnýt me.
In the mirror I see a complete stranger
But yet I know her
And that person isnýt me.