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 dating and getting married in your own race or not?

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Posted on 03-25-05 9:20 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Do most people think they should only marry people who are Nepali or do a lot think its okay to marry other races of people?

Also is it more important to make sure you find someone in your own caste or not?

In addition, do you think it is better for your parents to arrange a marriage for you? Like arrange dates with guys or girls until you pick one? Or do you prefere to find your own dates and if you do find your own dates do your parents think it is okay?
 
Posted on 03-27-05 8:42 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Marriage contains a lot of compromises...promises...and those unfulfilled..

unless both the partners are self satisfied with their lives and are independent before they marry, each one tries to complement his/her succes with that bond..there's always a tug of war in giving and taking..happiness therefore doesn';t exist there...

Priortize what you want from life..plenty of sex, money, frends and freedom..and a spouse....kids and reponsiblities tag along...

hmm... to keep your relationship healthy..in nepal we do have those festivals..the more the merrier...that way couples are forced to foregt the small things in life that most americans fight over...
we have a society and a society is definitley a body of people..in nepal some categorize and sub categorize into castes and sub castes... but then if the couple is independent of the society i.e. working well for better life on their own..there won't be a finger that stands against them..its simple..live it and live it your way..

this is how it works to get around all these....

when i was li'l like in tenth grade my mom used to threaten me that if i don't get 80 in slc then i need to marry...
so i passed..but then in 11th grade..my father said that i need to be a doc..i was good in science but then no wishes to be a doc and spending 8 yrs in books..so i skipped my chem exams got -6..

and then years passed by mom would always talk about marriage..so i finally told her i have a black bf. that im living with and no plans to marry..

she went at least you cud have gotton a cuter guy..and maybe your own skin color..then i dated portugeuse...fairer than me..she said she wud let me marry if he was from across the atlantic...ok then i dated an arab...she went at least he outta be from indian subcontinent..so i dated a Paki..then she went at leat the same religion..so i dated a Hindu Gurung guy..she went at least better than that so i dated several Newars..she went at least same sub language.. so i dated my own caste ..chetris..and she went at least he outto be as educated as you...then i dated a better educated person..she went at least he should have as much money as you..and similar looks....

Finally i found the perfect guy...educated, rich, smart, goodlooking, same religion, color and caste....I DATED MY COUSIN !!!!!!
andmy dad goes hell NO!! you better get a black guy instead...

Moral of the story : LET THEM BITE THEIR OWN WORDS





 
Posted on 03-27-05 8:50 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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He he he he...Yo hushpuppy le kura ta gazaab gazzab ko garcha bhaneko....he he he ....always got to read carefully while reading Hushpuppy's postings...he he he
 
Posted on 03-27-05 12:00 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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I consider a liberal minded person. I am for an inter-cast or inter-racial dating or marrige. I believe so called "cast" , "race" or "religion" has drawn a deep dividing line among us. I prefer to erase the dividing lines of "cast", "race" and "religion" by inter-cast, inter-race, and inter-religion dating/marriage or any other possible ways so that humanity comes to existence.
 
Posted on 03-28-05 8:07 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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I think its best to wait till you are married before having sex or living with each other.

But besides that I think you should have people who have similar values and similar ideas about life. But the skin color and country does not matter. I think if both people are willing to learn about each other cultures and learn the languages then it can be so special!!! This is what I plan to do. I dont want to marry someone of my same race really I am so bored of that.

I find women of other races attractive. Also their food is so great!

I think a lot of times your own countries values have a lot of good things you should not forget, also the new country you are in has new values to add onto your way of thinking. But I dont think you should allow the corrupt immoral behaviors and overdue the tolerance in your life.
 
Posted on 03-28-05 8:09 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Mind Disturbing Question::

Anytimewe are in involved relationships, it is all about compromising. With more similarities in a relationship, there is obviously less to compromise. More differences more to compromise.

It is ultimately the individuals decision as to how much difference can he/she deal and how much are they able to compromise. For me, I love Nepali food. Can't stand not speaking in Nepali after 8-10 hours of angreji bhasa. When I come home, their better be someone whom I can babble in Nepali!!!

My love for my language, religion and food is more important, so I am not able to compromise as much as those who are much more easy going. So, I would stick with someone from my country/race/caste. So figure out your priorities to find out exactly what is it that you want out of a relationship!!

Jai Nepal
 
Posted on 03-28-05 8:13 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Andrewwwwwwwwwww... Andrewwwwwwwww WAAAAAAA... will you marry me?
 
Posted on 03-28-05 9:49 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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hushpuppy - woof woof... i like the way you think.
 
Posted on 03-28-05 9:59 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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My opinion is not different frm wht other ppl have written... i agree with their views and opinions..but Andrew .. i m really sorry i"ll be takin this discussion little off the tangent... i was just wonderin.. when do u think would be the right time to tell ur parents about ur relationship? i know ppl would say "duhhhhh...whenever u r ready ".. but does anyone think differently than what i think everyone thinks??? does tht make sense??? ahhhhhh...
 
Posted on 03-28-05 10:52 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Andrew:
Can you send you profile also pleeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaasssssseeeeeeeeee so that i can see it. Looks like you are the perfect match for me......

Yes! i agree with Nepalkochori in many views and do not know what will i do if i got stuck with someone from another country, but then this adventerous nature in me sometimes make me think otherwise and i feel like some times marriage between people of different country would also be fun and lasting.

But then i would love to fall in love first, i mean at least that feeling should be there before getting married to someone else. I think once it happens you would not care for many other things

And my religion does not allow me to live in or have other physical relationships before marriage.

Lets see what happens..................


 
Posted on 03-28-05 11:09 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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you never know with whom you might have a wonderful and profound connection....it can be with anyone from any background and when it hits you, all of those other things will not matter to your heart. only to your head. that being said, yeah, it's much easier to connect with someone you have a lot in common with....

and hey nepalkochori, malai pani dal bhat jhan mitho lagchha yaar! ani maile pani dherai nepali bolna khojchhu....dherai jasso aphu sanga pani bolchhu. ma ta paagal nabhayera pani aphu sanga bolchhu....tara ma ta goro chhu....my point being there are people in america and other countries that have a deep appreciation for and love of nepali language, food, and culture. tyasto bhayeko kuire sanga basna hunna ki? (;-D)
 
Posted on 03-28-05 11:44 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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I think people can marry outside their race or whatever...its their life...but in Nepal custom a marriage is more than just the joining of two individuals its the union of two families....and often times, when a races are the same this union happens more smoothly...but I dont think marrying out of race is that big an issue at all....but marrying a different nationality such as kwerays is downright disrespectful to your parents...cause you know white people got nothing nice to say bout their mother-in-law...sala chor american hamburger khani racches haru
 
Posted on 03-28-05 11:48 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Why do you want to marry me? I dont know you well enough yet.
 
Posted on 03-28-05 11:51 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Dreamz

I think you should tell your parents when you think you are indipendent enough to do it. In western culture it is not as collectivistic as most other places. So people are allowed to do what they want when they are grown up. but if you really think your parents would hate it if you dated another race then I dont know...you have to either think about what is important: Pleasing your parents and keeping them happy in your life and winning their acceptance by doing what they tell you to do....OR you can choose what makes you HAPPY and makes you feel loved by staying with the person from the other race. Whatever is going to make you more truly happy: parents who are pleased or a person in your life that makes you feel so special.

I would choose the 2nd. I dont care if my parents dont like my choice. Its my choice and I will make it, after awhile they will learn that racism is pointless and my wife would win their acceptance by showing her good works and they will have nothing to complain about.
 
Posted on 03-28-05 11:54 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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manab I dont know how to make a profile. I will figure it out sometime.

but I dont know if we would work out. I am too busy with school.
 
Posted on 03-28-05 12:08 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Marriage is a symbol of unity. People who are interested in building serious relationship do not think about culture and race. The only element that sustains a relationship is respect. So, People who marry and respect their spouse will forever live in peace.
 
Posted on 03-28-05 2:07 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Well I did not really read all the postings.. tara wanted to say something about this thread....

Well firstly... Marriage and relationships are all about compatibility.. and understanding.. and being with the person u think u want to spend your life and all your happiness with...

And no where does it say that a person will stay happy with a person that is from the same nation or which is of the same caste... though the way people are brought up and the values that they have are probably in more resemblance with people of the same nation and sometimes the same caste...

So what I am tryong to say here is.. if you think that you will be happy with a person that is from a different nationality then go ahead.. do what you think is right... your parents might resent it but later... they will agree with you.. because what they want is your happiness...

Tara all this time I have had many cousins that got married to people that were from a different nation or castes and most of the time it did not work out. They always had their differences. There was always something that they did not agree on.. and in the end it was messy... And well also there were times when their values and stuff came in between... and normally in arrange marriages.. well believe it or not.. there is compatibility.. mostly the back ground is the same and also the values.. and well.. I have seen it work out more...

So as the conclusion... what I think is that though people should not hold back on people just because they are from a different caste or country... tara normally... you get along with people who are more similar to you and your values... and if someone who is from a different caste or nation works out for you.. then well and good!!
 
Posted on 03-28-05 2:57 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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interesting name zalim sing..are you punjabi hhahahaha just curious
 
Posted on 03-28-05 5:09 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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no, i'm not. but i have a feeling your mom would approve...

muahhaha muahhaha muahhaha (evil laugh)
 
Posted on 03-29-05 7:17 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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manab I noticed that you dont have a profile either...so if you want to read others profiles you should post your own too.
 
Posted on 03-29-05 8:24 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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andreww...

well it doesn't matter if you know me well enough or not... Arranged marriage... it will be just like old times... AND you wont need any more guinea pigs for ur marriage and dating in other cultures series... you will have a first hand knowledge...

So will you marry me?
 



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