One day, a Mechanical Engineer, an Electrical Engineer, a Chemical Engineer and a Software Engineer were driving down the street in the same car. The car broke down.
The Mechanical Engineer said, "I think a rod broke. We can check the rods."
The Chemical Engineer said, "The way it sputtered at the end, I don't think it's getting gas. We shall check the gas tank."
The Electrical Engineer said, "I think there was a spark and something is wrong with the electrical system. We shall check the circuitry."
All three turned to the Software engineer and said, "What do you think?"
The Software Engineer said, "We shall get out of the car and get in Again."
Three friends die and go to heaven. The first guy gets handcuffed to one of the ugliest girls there. 'Why?' he asks.
St. Paul replies, 'When you were nine you killed a bird with a stone.' The same happens to the second guy. He asks why.
St. Paul replies, 'When you were nine you killed a bird with a stone.' The third guy laughs at his friends and says, 'Thank God I didn't do anything like that.' He gets handcuffed to the prettiest girl in heaven. The other two guys ask, 'Why?'
'Because when she was nine she killed a bird with a stone.'
The Software Engineer said, "We shall get out of the car and get in Again."
A class of school children filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship.
Little Mary led off, "I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30," she said proudly, "my sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success."
"Very good," said the teacher.
Little Sally was next, "I sold magazines," she said, "I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them abreast of current events."
"Very good, Sally," said the teacher.
Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn. The teacher held her breath. Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher's desk. "$2,467," he said.
"$2,467!" cried the teacher, "What in the world were you selling?"
"Toothbrushes," said Little Johnny.
"Toothbrushes?" echoed the teacher, "How could you possibly sell enough toothbrushes to make that much money?"
"I found the busiest corner in town," said Little Johnny, "I set up a Dip & Chip stand. I gave everybody who walked by a free sample.
They all said the same thing. "Hey, this tastes like ****!" Then I would say, "It is, wanna buy a toothbrush?"
A man and his wife have gone to bed. After laying in bed for a few minutes the man cuts a fart. His wife rolls over and asks, “What in the world was that?”
The man says, “Touchdown, I’m ahead, seven to nothing.”
A few minutes later the wife lets one loose. The man says to her, “What was that?”
She replies, “Touchdown, tie score.”
The man lays there for about ten minutes trying to work another one up. He tries so hard that he craps all over the bed.
The wife asks, “Now what in the world was that?” He replies, “Half time. Switch sides.”
Wife: Honey..... What are You Looking for? Husband : Nothing. Wife : Nothing...?? U've been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour ?? Husband : I was just looking 4 the expiry date ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~
Q - What is the Difference Between Mother & Wife ? A - One Woman Brings U into this world crying... & the other ensures U Continue to do so. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~
Wife : Do you want dinner? Husband : Sure, what are my choices? Wife : Yes and no
Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why? Hubby: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears. Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you? Hubby: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~
Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden. Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or troubles. Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~
Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady. Mom: Well, you have done the right thing. Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap
A kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came to present what they'd found, the first little boy walked up to the front of the class made a small white dot on the blackboard and sat back down. Puzzled, the teacher asked him just what it was. "It's a period,' said the little boy.
"Well, I can see that,' she said, 'but what is so exciting about a period?'
'Damned if I know,' said the little boy, 'but this morning my sister was missing one, Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted, and the man next door shot himself."
After having failed his exam in a Student goes and confronts his lecturer about it.
Student: "Sir, do you really understand anything about the subject?"
Professor: "Surely I must. Otherwise I would not be a professor!"
Student: "Great, well then I would like to ask you a question. If you Can give me the correct answer, I will accept my mark as is and go. If You however do not know the answer, I want you give me an "A" for the Exam. "
Professor: "Okay, it's a deal. So what is the question?"
Student: "What is legal, but not logical, logical, but not legal, and Neither logical, nor legal?"
Even after some long and hard consideration, the professor cannot give The student an answer, and therefore changes his exam mark into an "A", as agreed.
Afterwards, the professor calls on his best student and asks him the Same question.
. . . . . . . . .
He immediately answers: "Sir, you are 63 years old and married to a 35 Year old woman, which is legal, but not logical.
Your wife has a 25 Year old lover, which is logical, but not legal. The fact that you Have given your wife's lover an "A", although he really should have Failed, is neither legal, nor logical."
Teacher: what do u call a person who cannot hear anything? Santa: U can call him anything, because he cannot hear anything.
Ek baar ek kabutar ne Sardar pe bit kar di.. Sardar-'Saale teri maa ne chaddi pehnna nahi sikhaya kya? Kabutar-'Saale to tu kya chaddi me karta hai.'
Angry Santa to Son : Tumne kabhi ullu dekha hai? Son : (Neeche dekhte hue) No Papa… Santa : Neeche mat dekho. Look at me.
Sardar & sardarani waiting at signal. A tapori boy comes & says "kya paaji rakhail hai kya?" Sadar furiously says "Oye sale, rakhail hogi terio meri to biwi hai."
Nurse gave newborn baby 2 sardar he screamd "puttar hua! puttar hua!"
Nurse shouted, "abe gadhe ladki hui hai, meri ungli chod"
Women 2 sardar:What is the time?
Sardar replied the answer and was slapped.
Why?
He answered bra pantees(12:35).
Teacher: “Name Some Films That Have Almost Same Stories?”
This beautiful woman says, "I'll show you mine if you show me yours." I figure what the heck, so I show her mine. Then she shows me hers. Hers is bigger.
An attractive blonde from Dublin arrived at the casino and bet twenty-thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice.
She said, 'I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm 'completely nude'.
With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and yelled, 'Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!' As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed...
'YES, YES, I WON, I WON!'
She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed.
The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked, 'What did she roll?'
The other answered, 'I don't know - I thought you were watching.'
MORAL OF THE STORY: Not all Irish are stupid.. Not all blondes are dumb, But all men are men.
Only in America ......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. -------------------------------------------------------------- Only in America .....do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke. -------------------------------------------------------------- Only in America ......do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. -------------------------------------------------------------- Only in America ......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. -------------------------------------------------------------- Only in America ..........do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.. -------------------------------------------------------------- Only in America .....do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering. -------------------------------------------------------------- EVER WONDER ... Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? -------------------------------------------------------------- Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed? -------------------------------------------------------------- Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? -------------------------------------------------------------- Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word? -------------------------------------------------------------- Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'? -------------------------------------------------------------- Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons? -------------------------------------------------------------- Why the man who invests all your money is called a broker? -------------------------------------------------------------- Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? -------------------------------------------------------------- Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? -------------------------------------------------------------- Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes? -------------------------------------------------------------- Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? -------------------------------------------------------------- You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?! -------------------------------------------------------------- Why don't sheep shrink when it rains? -------------------------------------------------------------- Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together? -------------------------------------------------------------- I like this one!!! If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress? -------------------------------------------------------------- If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
What are your first memories of when Nepal Television Began?
Anybody gotten the TPS EAD extension alert notice (i797) thing? online or via post?
TPS Re-registration
Democrats are so sure Trump will win
Basnet or Basnyat ??
TPS EAD auto extended to June 2025 or just TPS?
nrn citizenship
Toilet paper or water?
Sajha has turned into MAGATs nest
Nas and The Bokas: Coming to a Night Club near you
Mamta kafle bhatt is still missing
ढ्याउ गर्दा दसैँको खसी गनाउच
ChatSansar.com Naya Nepal Chat
whats wrong living with your parents ?
डीभी परेन भने खुसि हुनु होस् ! अमेरिकामाधेरै का श्रीमती अर्कैसँग पोइला गएका छन् !
3 most corrupt politicians in the world
अमेरिकामा बस्ने प्राय जस्तो नेपालीहरु सबै मध्यम बर्गीय अथवा माथि (higher than middle class)
Nas and The Bokas: Coming to a Night Club near you
Mr. Dipak Gyawali-ji Talk is Cheap. US sends $ 200 million to Nepal every year.
TPS Update : Jajarkot earthquake
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