I live in a country that is not mine with people...that the more years go by, the more I find that I have less in common with. I cannot go back to my country because it is a mess. America, the land of opportunity, sometimes feels like the prison I find myself in. I am used to the ease of the Western lifestyle. I am addicted to the luxury of a lifestyle here. And yet my heart yearns for the familiarity tasted in my childhood in Nepal. I long to be surrounded by the familiar tastes and smells of Kathmandu. But then I remind myself of the other, darker, not so romantic reality of Kathmandu, and I come to connect and talk with other Nepalis in sajha.com. I don't feel comfortable enough to express my personal feelings. So instead I type on my key board to express my frustration of what is going in Nepal. And all that comes out are words and emotions that are over-used and cliche on sajha.com. Like cigarette smokers finding commonality in the smoking hut, we come togethor to inhale other people's second-hand smoke as we exhale our frustrations about the situation in Nepal.

I was so happy to escape to America and leave behind the state of affairs that was Nepal. Today I have some stability in America. And my heart longs for the familiarity of Nepal. Whenever I go to a Nepali gathering, I am reminded of where my heart belongs. That is when I miss Nepal. Because of Nepal's condition and my American conditioning, the decision to go back to Nepal is becoming more and more difficult with every year that goes by. America, for this Nepali, feels less like heavan and more like prison. But if you threaten to kick me out of here, I will protest very loudly. What a dillema?

Dimag Kharab,

Unlike kids from well-to-do families, for kids of struggling back ground, America gives them a hope that they did not have in Nepal. So perhaps America may seem like a prison for those who were well-to-do in Nepal and come to America and miss Nepal. But for people from poor families who had no hope to get respect, status or support, America still feels very much like heaven. In many ways, these poor families are getting respect and are able to provide support to their families in a way that they could never have provided if they had stayed in Nepal. America gives them a new hope.

For different people, what it means to return back to Nepal means different things. For some returning back to Nepal means returning back to the good times. But for others returning back to Nepal means returning back to bad times. Is this what you're saying?

Yeah! What i mean to say is, Nepal is still the best place for those who belong to well-to-do families. Its exactly the other way for those from poorer families.

Some further thoughts on the subject:

Socio-economic considerations may be one determinant of whether and when a person returns. So is age. I would submit that just because a Nepali person in America happens to be from a humble background in Nepal, that doesn't necessarily mean they wouldn't want to go back to Nepal at some stage in their lives. On the contrary, as people grow older, their needs change (remember Maslow?) and Nepal maybe the ideal place to  retire and get respect, name and fame and anything else they were not able to get in the US. We see examples of it in our villages today where people go to India and the Middle East to work but return later to buy a piece of land either in their village or the nearest town with basic amenities. Picture yourself at 50, doing a blue-collar job in an American city, seeking recognition and respect from the community and not getting as much of it where you live. I mean for all this talk about an egalitarian society, how much stature does a cab driver, especially an old cab driver, really get even in the USA? Going back to Nepal and rehabilitating yourself into Nepali society may be your way to realize those higher needs . Plus, it's cheaper to live on your American savings, pension or 401K in Nepal than in the US. Just a thought. 

Also, I can probably provide a detailed explanation of why the strumming of a sitar might make one happy but most people here are smart enough, I presume, to Google how the workings of the  sympathetic, parasympathetic, limbic,  Endocrinol  and other neurological systems  impact our emotions and behavior. Add a bit of old school Freudian thinking and the reasons why we feel the way we do might just be staring us in the face. And yes, free will does exist and if that's what you are wondering but in my opinion free will exists relative to the biological systems and space we operate in. It all boils down to whether you want to emotionalize or rationalize a situation. I prefer to do the latter hence I try to seek out rational answers to problems :) 

Happy Friday to you all and have a great weekend.

Everything is not honkey dorey once you leave Nepal to the US. Everything is not honkey dorey once you leave the US for Nepal. Accept reality. We all have our own unique situations. We have to make the best of our individual situations. If it does not turn out the way we imagined then we have to take responsibility for our decisions and move on.

No matter how much we try to justify it, the fact remains that we are only human and that the grass will always appear green on the other side of the fence.

Yes, but my father told me that Nepali grass will always taste sweeter than American grass. And he would never lie to me.

On a more serious note: isn't it wonderful that us Nepalese atleast are in a position to discuss different options in our life? Think about where Nepal was just 60 years back. Our grandfathers did not have so much choice.

The United States has become the new Benares for Nepalese. Anytime we need to go on pilgrimage we just go to Busch Gardens or Disney Land.

Some insightful thoughts shared by people for/against residing in the US on a permanent basis. If I had a MBA degree right now, I'd return back in a heart beat, abandoning my permanent residency.