Inspired by few awesome pieces, & a sudden surge; a random thoughts in oblivion; I decided to form in words. I hope you guys like it; but am open to critisim, constructive if you'd please.

It may be the only piece or perhaps few mores will follow. I doubt it'll find it's way to the end. But then again, the most difficult & thus important thing is to start; where it ends is entirely another matter. Also it could be something different from my everyday obsequiousness/sycophancy; albeit with/for fun. So why not? Consider it as fiction or fact, it remains a reminiscence, a leaf out of my past. As it feels, my imaginary past.

***********-----------------------------------------------------------************
I was visiting that city after quite some time. I don't know why that place always felt like home away from home. Hundreds of miles away, without anyone to answer to, free to do, act and explore what we see/feel & be ourselves unlike incognito picture we often have to present of ourselves, for the fear of rejection, failure, or simply because we feel disguise is the wise thing to do.

I felt like I know those people, that city. That was not just any other place, but the one where I understood, or so I 'think' a lot about friendship, college, parties, drugs, people, and life & yes?love. Sad as it may be, it taught me, with time, like everything else, love dies. And I am so happy it does. It taught me, there is nothing more powerful in this world, except time; not even love. Oh! Well, where was I? Yeah that place....& those times.....................

Great story indi bro. Nice one, love it, completely lost in it. Dheari pachi back to this thread ni ta.

I will also be waiting for your new posting broda.

Well, I know it's been quite a few days & with growing number of BEAUTIFUL pieces from Nirman, Chi-tara,Newuser, John_Galt, O.K, Dadagiri, Deep, Pundit, and others, I feel apprehensive to post mine.

Nevertheless, I hope you guys would enjoy reading it. For those who were actually waiting for it, I would like to apologize for the delayed posting.

La ta, paske hai ta.

Wow common do it indi...waiting for it.....would analyse it sometime later ....

In between those days, When I called home, just to let my folks know that I am doing fine and had some change of plan, my mom sounded restless and demanded me to return soon. It was meant to be 15 days, but it had been more than a month. Often, I wondered why I was staying there & kept on telling myself "one last week". Sometimes I felt I hinged too much to my past for my own good.

Lying to our parents was the course we had mastered then, and I gallantly did so. I told them I was not feeling well. Perhaps wrong option, but did the trick. After much persuasion that it is nothing but a minor fever and I needed few more days to rest, I succeeded to calm my mom.

Talking about being sick?..

I assume I can generalize that no one likes it when they get sick, and I was/am not an exception. Well other than in school days, when we would get to go home. Even then we used to use onions (Pyaj). After that, the charm of getting/feeling sick long evaporated. But, this one time, when I was under the weather, I realized something I 'think' I never knew (Or may be I knew. Khai ke ho ke).

Often she used to accompany me for my games. This one was one of many. Before the game I was having a mild fever, but could not miss the excitement of the game. In the break as I walk towards the touch line, I could feel that I was really going down for sometime.

"You look like you are burning", she said.
"Yeah, I know."
"Let's go. Get some medicine and rest".
"Nah. I can not. The game is too close. I need to play."

Then, missing the excitement of the game was unimaginable. Next game for that tournament was after 3 days. I figured, by then I should be up and running. So I stayed. Played. And After some 20 minutes or so, I came out. Could not carry on.

She was scared that I would not be able to ride the bike thus we took a cab; fuming, as my obdurate side was telling me, "I CAN". I was in no mood for an argument, thus agreed to leave my Red Yamaha Stallion with a friend. But I was relieved. My head was spinning, it was heavy and I was burning. Perhaps, she was right. Like always.

After a quick shower, which was venomously objected by her highness, I went to my room and quickly went inside the quilt and covered myself. As I slowly pulled my quilt, and opened my eyes, I saw her looking at me, her eyes questioning me.

"Helloo?. Medicine?" Her voice was sharp.
"Oh yeah, I'll have Ceramal & Decode and it should be fine.", I said. (My mom religiously made certain that I had those, when I left ktm.)
"No. Look at yourself. You look terrible. Let's go to the doctor.". I could feel the desperation in her voice.
"NOoo. I am fine. By morning, it would be gone.", I tried to brush it off.

As I tried to get up to the drawer to get that (What else? All Nepalese's "could not go wrong" pills. Cetamol & Decold.), she stopped me. She silently opened the drawer, and got me those medicines and went to kitchen to get me some water. As I was about to have a piece of each, she suddenly shouted.

"Aren't you gonna eat something first?"
"No. I don't feel like." (And besides therewasn't anything at home that would be recommended for me at that state.)
"You must have something. You just came back from a game and haven't had anything since morning." She refused to let it go.

She frantically went to the kitchen and searched. I knew she isn't gonna find anything in there. She came back with couple of bananas and looked at me. She said, "You don't have anything to eat." Of course we would not have anything. We rarely cooked at home. We used to buy some basics and stock it for the days we would be broke until our drafts a la angels would come to our rescue. Ah! Those days; didn't have to work my arse off to get my paycheck.

She stared at me. That blank, empty stare. As I tried to gulp a banana, rather uneasily, she said with watery eyes, "Wait. Don't have the medicine as yet. I'll be right back."

contd:

Disillusioned, but too tired to ask any question, I waited. Shivering and with my body limp I was trying to sleep. I don't know after how long, she came back. As she called my name, softly touching my forehead, I opened my eyes. She had some fruits and couple of medicines. She gently ran her fingers thru my hair and asked me to sit up. She cut some fresh fruits and I had what I could. She said, "Tomorrow we've to go to the hospital for check up. I have set an appointment with my dad." I was like, "Yeah right." But those stares made me quite. I knew there was no point arguing. I did not care.
I felt like puking, and it seemed like lava of blood would erupt like a volcano detonating my skin.

After having few pills she brought, I tried to get some rest. She went to my friend's room for a second and was back with his pillow (I didn't use pillow; I had a decent size gadda, a la 'mujra' style. Round, not exactly comfortable, but had gotten used to it.).

"Tonight, use this. 'Abhesh' can use that one. It'd be easy on your head."Her voice was filled with love.
"No please. It's all right. I don't need it. Besides, I am used to it." I had said.
It just seemed unfair to me, and beside, I really didn't have any problem with the 'gadda' I had. Perhaps it looked different from her eyes. I wonder how.

I again covered my face with quilt for few minutes. And then I slowly took it down, and opened my eyes. She was standing off the table right in front of my bed. The mirror on the desk had her reflection, and she was starring at me, with her beautiful big black eyes, which now seemed akin to a pot filled with water, about to splash out.

"Please don't..." was all I could say, and then it rained like the first melted snow from the mountains, and she looked beautiful. And then she said, "I would sleeping at my bed in my room and you would here, like this. Alone. How many times did I ask you to get a pillow? And what is this, the quilt is as thin as a sheet. How many times did I ????

Her tears were running down silently like morning dew falling off the leaves; smooth and barely touching the surface of her cheeks. It fell from her eyes and dropped in to my heart like a nuclear bomb akin to one dropped in Hiroshima and Nagasaki, only it had differing effects.

I stayed there looking at her. I would say "common now?. please." As much as I was spellbound by her beauty, I had never expected her to behave this way. She was different. Not really sentimental, was in to fashion, partying, enjoyed doing what she wanted. She had glamour & had participated in some semi professional glamour endeavors, did not even know who was in DDLJ, and thought ?Dil to pagal hein? was an old flick. I was not what you would call a movie buff, who would not know about these small details. Don't you?

The point is: I had forsaken, in fact never ventured to scratch the surface underneath the ironclad mask she wore. She appeared robust; beyond the extremity of emotions of that magnitude and I certainly did not wanted to peek beyond that ironclad mask, for my own obvious reasons.

"I am gonna get some bed sheets, pillow and a quilt tomorrow when I come." She concluded. She said as she hid her lovely eyes as she opened her purse and took out a Kleenex and wiped her face. She left that beside my bed.

That was, I reckon, the first time I saw her let those eyes betray her. The very eyes which must have won innumerable battles with her emotions in bygone days.

I did not know what to do. At that moment, it appeared to me that somewhere in between our heartiness, in between our arguments and unspoken non commitment, we had crossed the line. A thin line; a promise I made to myself, that I would not let myself be taken away, I would not mourn when it ends, a bar I had set in my heart, knowing the possibilities and percentage of us being together, had been shaken to its core. And I was helpless, in front of those lost deep dark eyes.

Yes, I was helpless; to love.

Contd:

After I reasoned with her that this is not my home and not to feel
Sorry for me, and explained her how I preferred this 'gadda' than any pillow,and how hot it was those days and I would actually prefer to be alone,so that I can sleep; I considerably subsided her concerns. I was asked to lie down and before I knew I was fast asleep. Thank god the Medicines still had some effects on me.

That day something had changed between us. Something had changed within
me, and I could not fight it. I always knew the power of persuasion
women had, known what a smile could do, and the power that their beauty
yields. Heck, I even knew that those beautiful hairs could engulf us in
to darkness, but I never knew until then, that innocence laced pearly
tears, like beautiful morning dew which at times, condensed from
nowhere, in those eyes, that the ever trying eyelids failed to hide
would be so powerful, and even defeat a Herculean effort to seal my
heart. As those water drops trickled down from those reservoirs and
ran unceremoniously thru those smooth cheeks of hers, I surrendered.

Believe me I fought as gallantly as Marcus Antonius. But even he would
have given in, just the way he did when he saw Cleopatra dressed as
Venus, the goddess of love. Agreed 'she' was not on "lavishly decorated
barge" as was Cleopatra, but ask any man worth his salt, ask those mighty ones who we look in awe, those immortals, how they had been defeated by a mere drops of water that trickles from 'her' eyes. They would tell you how they tried, failed and loved. And I was just a mere mortal.

I tried. I failed. I loved.

To be Contd...........

ramro cha indi
waiting for next one.
way u opened ur heart in second last para n example of cleopatra is good.

Indi jyu... your words are so beautiful, that I can feel my heart melt.. I seriously can feel it... when I was going through your words I could SEE her sitting there and you laying beside her and admiring her beauty. The way you have defined her beauty and your situation is wonderful.

I am falling short of words, I dont know how to tell you how beutiful I think your work is. The way you describe it.. your words.. they go straight to the heart and remain there. You are the few people who are gifted with words...and I hope you keep writing and make readers like me lucky with your words, your thoughts and your heart-felt experience... was just GREAT..

your description of falling in love and being captivated by her beauty is so enthralling... i mean what can I say? its just awesome...
I applaud you with all my heart.. and hope to hear more:)

My favorite lines..
"Something had changed within
me, and I could not fight it. I always knew the power of persuasion
women had, known what a smile could do, and the power that their beauty
yields. Heck, I even knew that those beautiful hairs could engulf us in
to darkness, but I never knew until then, that innocence laced pearly
tears, like beautiful morning dew which at times, condensed from
nowhere, in those eyes, that the ever trying eyelids failed to hide
would be so powerful, and even defeat a Herculean effort to seal my
heart. As those water drops trickled down from those reservoirs and
ran unceremoniously thru those smooth cheeks of hers, I surrendered."

Indi ji! nice one. liked it. me too
waiting for next one

यो हप्ता जम्मैको comeback हप्ता जस्तो छ। :oP। ल ल इण्डि अरु नि जावस्। प्रेमका मन छुने भावनाले मलाइ भावुक बनायो, म रिदमको गुरुबा जस्तै रुँदै छु रे क्या। ;०)
निर्माण

Wow Indi ko naya episode...simply loved it!! Now time for me to analyse ...he he he

Perhaps, she was right. Like always.
>>> there were some subconscious feelings for her before that incident!!!

As I slowly pulled my quilt, and opened my eyes, I saw her looking at me, her eyes questioning me.
>>>> hmm..the killing eyes!!

She stared at me. That blank, empty stare. As I tried to gulp a banana, rather uneasily, she said with watery eyes, "Wait. Don't have the medicine as yet. I'll be right back."
>>>> Touchy moment....i wish i was a director... i would have protaryed that scene for sure!!

I felt like puking, and it seemed like lava of blood would erupt like a volcano detonating my skin.
>>> what a way to describe vomiting..

The mirror on the desk had her reflection, and she was starring at me, with her beautiful big black eyes, ..................................... .... How many times did I ask you to get a pillow? And what is this, the quilt is as thin as a sheet. How many times did I ????
>>>> My another perfect scene if i was a director !!!

in fact never ventured to scratch the surface underneath the ironclad mask she wore.
>>>>> Difference between crush and love !!!

Yes, I was helpless; to love.
>>>>>>> ...Then when you find yourself lyin? helpless in her arms, Ya know ya really love a woman...Remember Bryan Adams???

I was asked to lie down and before I knew I was fast asleep. Thank god the Medicines still had some effects on me.
>>>>>> Are u sure the medical effect was dominant ??

...........but I never knew until then, that innocence laced pearly
tears, like beautiful morning dew which at times, condensed from
nowhere, in those eyes, that the ever trying eyelids failed to hide
would be so powerful, and even defeat a Herculean effort to seal my
heart.
>>>>> It's amazing, isn't it?? Probably the eighth wonders of the world at least in my view!!

I tried. I failed. I loved.
>>>>> Congrats!!!!

Thanks Ruina;).
About that Cleopatra; I had read an article the previous night, so it just came in to my mind. About opening my heart :.... "mutu chiriii ke dekhauuu timilaiii... yaha pirr le dhakke ko chaaaa... Yaha hernu berthaii chaaa, maya dineee ko chaa..." :p
Nice song.. hmmmm.

Rythm:) Thanku.
It is your eyes that read my worthless creation are beautiful, not my words. Rr kya. Ke ho timro heart pani Ice cream ho ki ke ho. Melting pot. heheh..Mmmmmm . Hahahaha.

On the serious note, I have immensly enjoyed browsing thru your anecdotes. Mutu ma nai rakha na hai ta, feri matrix ko hero lai dela;). LOL. And yes, thanks once again.
I hope you would like the upcoming postings as well.
Aba haat ta chadi halau... tsk tsk.. :(


Ani badarnikt jiu

Ops.

Badarnikt, dherai dherai bhayebaad. By the way, you owe me that badam u stole from me in pashupati.;)

Nirman, dhanyebaad mitra. Timra lekh haru bata pani prabhit bhayera maile lekhne jamarko gareko hu. I hope to read one of yours pretty soon.

And Ardent,
So how's the Kitkat. Good eh?
Nice analysis. Hahaha. Sabai bujcha keto le.
Diff btn crush and love, and your insight on the posting is good. I am sure if you pursue direction as a career, I can see another "When a man 'thinks' he loves a woman" on the horizon.
Camera, lights, action...............
Hmmmm killinh eyess eh? Kasto cha re dude sristi ankha. LOL. Take care.

IndisGuise:)

haath chodyo re... lol indi jyu... 2-2 jaana ko haath samaney bichar ki k ho??:P

पाए त बाह्रै जनाको हात समात्न मोज नि! किन २ जना मात्रै? कि कसो, ईण्डी भाई? बरु, १-२ जना अलि बढी भो भने यस्सो बुढा दाईहरुको नि कृपा गरम् क्यार। ::प्यारो भाई:: भनेर आउँदो दशैंमा एक जोर डोरा कट्टु हालदिम्ला। :)

Rythm;) bichar ta ke ke thio keke. Tara afsossss.:(
Afnai ankha le herna garo hune drishye dekhe sajha ko chat bhanne chautari ma. Ram ram. LOL

Sath deunaaaaaaaaaa hatha ma hath deunaaaaaaaaaa... sath deunaaaaaaaa:P .. geet gako ni feri. Anyetha sochla. ;)

Maile ta aba pooture dai lai guru mani sake. Baini jatti lai chai safe deposit ma rakhau poonture dai, baru yaha unaharuko ko didi sidi cha ni, unahrulai lai chai hajur lai bheti chadamla. Satto naudnegari darshan dinu holaaaaaaaaaa.;) Hahaha.

Payetaaa hoina pooture dai, tyaha harakiri hunthio. Hahahaha.

In jest,
IndisGuise:)

Poonte bro, chi chi, go sleep.! :p

Poonture dai, ^ chalcha? :p LOL.

Aba arko dasaima dora kattu lagyo hai ta. Huna ta kattu launa chadeko barsau bityo.;) tyei ni kahile kai... yesooooo .... :)

In jest,
IndisGuise:)

Indi..ani k bhayo? bhan na na

waiting,
me

Indi,
what a painstaking work....and without a flaw....enjoyed it immensely.