I have been in the United States in the ballpark of 5 years. I came here as a student at a certain university in America's heartland, and now have a secure job. So it's quite a moot point to even say that I am not thinking of going back to Nepal. However, I still love my country and make it a personal goal to visit Nepal at least once annually. My parents have gotten a bit old and their wellbeing is always on my mind. I try to send a couple of hundred dollars to them on a monthly basis if my financial situation allows it. I talk to them by phone every week. Lately, it has come to my attention via my aunt that my parents have been searching for a prosprective groom, who in fact happens to be in Nepal. So I am in a quandary.
There is a secret that I have been hiding from my parents. I, by no means, believe in abiding by antiquated beliefs like arranged marriage. So a couple of years ago, I decided to start dating. I dated mostly White people most of the time and never really met my match. I dated a few Indians and Nepalis as well. None of them had the qualities I was looking for. Then a few months later of this little adventure, I met a Pakistani man, who was in one of my classes. Being that he and I were the only South Asians in class, we already had one thing in common. We did projects given by our teacher together. This man was a straight-A student. With his chiseled looks of a Greco-Roman statue, he instantly managed to win over my heart. As I chatted with him, and learned more about this guy, I found out that I had almost everything in common with this guy. Our relationship was strictly platonic at that point. After a few months of dating, he professed his love for me. As our relationship flowered, it slowly took on a sexual dimension as well. In fact I lost my virginity to this guy.
He has recently proposed to me. I of course said yes. Now I am in a quandary. I am not sure how to let my parents know that I am going to marry a Pakistani guy. He has said that he also wants me to convert to Islam. I am okay with it, but I don't know how my parents would react as they are quite traditional. But my mind is set.

So how do I tell my parents? Can somebody help?
Thanks in advance.

Dear Guest4, if you're not biased, please write the typo for marrying nepali too.

i didn't know that love differentiates between countries and borders, and colors and caste or even beauty or brains, WTF it happens when it happens...and now don't fret when it happened ...cuz you don't wanna know why it didn't work..YOU ruined it by thinking toomuch!!

Not my problem...but I have to say that from my own experience I could almost feel that I would not be able to bear for a long time with Muslims...even in a romantic relationship. The religion is simply too exclusive instead of being inclusive of people from other religions.

no offense,
but I don't go along with muslims either...

intercast is ok but i can't imagine interculture, interreligion... how can one quit childhood memory and tradition just like that....
अब भिरबाट हामफाल्ने गाइलाइ राम राम भन्न सकिन्छ or in this case whatever muslims say...
ur life, make it or break it
i'll just say राम राम

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Guest4,,, those are some funny lines. O well, Aaliyah, love ought to all encompassing haina? Forget the tiny details like... changing your old ,parent/bahun given name to some muslim name, eg. Nur Saleha, selma.,... u get the gist. :P
And just imagine, the abaya and the eternal "purdah" , you won't need alot of sunscreen. If nothing else , our islamic female counterparts stand to gain more by not contracting skin cancer!!! Thats a huge plus point ni.. lau!! And who needs to eat pork?
Pork is overrated ni @ As well, the holy months when u wil have to fast.You lucky thing, you will be eating all night, while us poor nepali gals will try to eat before dark to maintain our svelte figures... hee hee./..

But on a more serious not ,dear gal, think long and hard. It's a huge leap into the unknown. Wish you luck. :)

Gone with the wind...

Don't care about the cast and religion. Go ahead. Pakistani girls are very beautiful and if you love her and she does so, all the best for your future life.

Lol scar that was pretty good hehe...

I hate PAKI and MUSALTAYyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy ,,,,, grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr at the begning i thought u r talking u r gay ehehehehehe ,,,,,, without reading ur name lol no offence hahahah ,,,

Guest4.. Sorry to say this but your posting made no sense. marry this go there... marry this go there.. Bhaney ta Marry a Nepali.. go to Humla Jumla and get shot by a Maoist hoina? What does all this have to do with consideration of parent's ko need and not really taking them as great importance. K K bhanya ho k k ... read it twice and yet it made no sense. Maybe I am dumb tara the chances are that you made no sense!

Look if u are in love ....(kasko bau ko ke taagat) in english whoes father what vitamin? tes pachi jhaam jhum behe garne....( kasko bau le ke naapcha) in english whoes father what measurement....pheri yaha ke aaucha TAARA .......how moderate is he? I have come across with muslim who eats pork as well.....if he dont give dyaam .....tara somehow they have deep fate for their relegion and they can marry another 3. What about if he has another wife in pakistan. When i was in switzerland..my mate ali who was studying with me was dating a girl from burnai who was muslim as well even having finaanace back.....tara he treat her like shittt...i mean burnei ko kte.......she was not allowed to talk with even me...i introduced her to him, she was good fren of mine...later she wasnot even allowed to talk to me...mo..fuker ali..sorry! aba yo dharma thulo kura haina....if he loves u then he should not force u to change your relegion..i have seen in hk lot of muslim married to chinese or other nationalites but there is no conversation on relegion.....but

Tara pani timro eekshya ho.....jaanchau bhane jau...pheri 3 barsa pachi dai bhandai sajha maa...rudai na aau

1. dai tesko ta arko budi raicha pakistan ma
2. dai tesle malai kutnu kutyo
3. tesle mero mukh ma acid haaldiyo
4. mero jindagi narga bhayo..ke ke sapana thiyo
5. mero personal freedom nai khosiyo
6. afno pariwar sanga pani bhete mauka paina

tesaile soch nu ramro ho.......huna ta prem aando hudaina premi aandho huncha...if you have analysed him well and he is geniune person....congratualion you haaude faata moneyminded dai ko tarfa bata...behe ko bare maa bhanu...aabase bhitre maan bata safal jindagi ko lagi maangal maaye suvakama dine chu.

so bhagya bati bhawa

My personal experience ...most pakis I've seen are usually liers, fraudulent etc., despite their first impression. About frauds, I'm a victim of it, that too because I had a very good Paki friend:-(... finally the cop got him, took him to court etc..

About your would-be-groom, check his credit history and have him (and you too for the sake of reciprocality) test for HIV... not a usual suggestion, but both are worth every penny of it each... If I'm the only one suggesting it to you, you will be a debtor to me for your whole life.

In the end, I wish you good luck. Just another bitter suggestion.. don't just count on straight A

paku sanga lop parya? dammit another one bites the dust

mailey suneko sarai "sick" kura haru madhya ko euta kura bhayo yo chai.
byaktigat choice ho,tyo ta adhikar ko kura ho aliyah nani ko.
antardharma ma samhanda nai rakhnu hunna ta ma bhandina tara sambav bhaye samma nagarejkai thik hol jasto lagcha malai ta.
lau rakhey pani jatho paki tyo pani musaltey ani ajha dharmai paribartan gar bhanney
ajha tyo bhanda ni badi musaltey hunu pani tayar aliyah ji bhaney pachi
kasto maya ho. proposal ko "condition" nai dharma pariwartan.

you know what you might as well f***king cry all your life, cause it is almost 100
% sure no matterr how mmuch "stereotype" you can call me i ll be happy to see you f**kin put on a burkha and cry for all your life. dharma pariwartan gar bhanney condition jasto rakhney m**ji lai lub garchu bhanda ta, you deserve to cry all you life, but who knows hamra "devi deuta " ra timra allah ley timimathi kripa rakhchan ki.......... timi runu napros tara runchau and if i happen to hear a nepali lady having problem blah blah on/with pakistan/i, i ll asume its you and be happy

BE CAREFUL!!
ONLY SMART GUYS CAN PLAY BIG ROLE. DONT SLIP ON THEIR CHOCOLATY FACE, TIGHT BODY AND SWEET TALKS.
ESPECIALLY I HAVE SEEN MUSLIM GUYS GOOD AT THAT.

ITS TRUE THAT HE CAN HAVE WIFE IN PAKISTAN AND STILL LIE HERE. ONE OF MY MUSLIM FRIEND MARRIED HERE IN USA WITH A WHITE LADY, HAD 2 DAUGHTERS IN 2 YEARS, LATER THEY GOT DIVORCED JUST BECAUSE OF THE RELIGION.
AFTER DIVORCE, HOOKED UP WITH HISPANIC LADY, GOT ANOTHER DAUGHTER, LEFT HER IN FEW MONTHS. WENT TO PAKISTAN AND MARRIED AN INNOCENT GIRL CAME BACK TO US TOGETHER. LIED LIED AND LIED WITH HER, I HAVE BEEN SEEING THAT EVERYDAY . STILL LIES. HE USED TO BE MY CLASSMATE AND NOW IN NEIGHBORHOOD AND I SEE THEM EVERYDAY. THEY INVITE ME SOMETIMES FOR DINNER AND TALKS AND I SEE HIM LYING ALWAYS AND SHE BELIEVES ON HIM BLINDLY AND SHE DOESN'T KNOW HOW BAD THIS GUY IS.
I WROTE THIS JUST BECAUSE THEY ARE GOOD AT LYING.

LIKE MOMENYMINDED WROTE ABOVE, U WILL LOOSE YOUR FREEDOM AND ETC.

http://www.sajha.com/sajha/html/OpenThread.cfm?forum=2&ThreadID=24922

Rhythm,
"Maybe I am dumb tara the chances are that you made no sense!".....In other words, are you forcing us to conclude that you really are not dumb!? You crack me up....lol...Well, I will give you the benefit of doubt and accept that I made no sense. :)

Anyway, I was just trying to challenge the basic notions of marriage. By saying go-here-go-there, all I was saying was diversify your interests. Bring uncertainty. These in turn will bring thrills in our life. Yes, of course, you can marry a nepali girl and then go to Jumla or Humla or wherever you want. If you want to die, then get shot by Maoist. If you do not want to die, find ways to avoid being shot by Maoists. Marrying people of different nationalities will increase diversity and uncertainty, and hence more thrills in life.

About this parent thing, I was saying that you do not necessarily have to marry a girl/guy chosen by your parents. I agree most, if not all, parents love their kids, but it does not mean that you will have to marry a partner chosen by them. Show some defiance. Increase uncertainty. Hence, more thrills. After all parents are parents, they will get over it after some time.

You do not have to take the burden of keeping the world population at a constant or a growing rate. There are millions of others who can do that. So your ashtraying from the basic notions of marrige will not hamper mankind. In fact, it could help more.

Do I want to do this? Ideally, YES. Will I do it.....probably not.

But normally, people do not look for uncertainty; instead they want certainty and security. That's why not many people keep on changing their partners, just for the sake of getting more thrills.
---------------

and gwajyo

I am not biased. At least I try not to.

..didn't exactly get what you meant.

1) Why you changing? why not him changing for you? cuz you're weak or, cuz you're flexible? Howcom i don't see any paki girls marrying a Nepali guy and changing her religion? is it cuz of the fact that Nepali guys don't look as much of a greek god statue as pakis do, or what??


2) Your parents hold no better place in life than a litle sympathy and few hundred dollars every month - if you're able to send it?

3) You should've have dated so many guys... what is it like testing a melon? everyone tries a little bit and if they like they buy ?? you're a free give away samples in a local grocery store or soemthing?

4) I would think 4000 times if i were you, while i would only think 3 times if i had to kill myself.

if you don't hold on something, you fall for everything.....


Choice is yours, good luck.. :)

on number 3 ) , it's " you shouldn't have"...

Also, Arrange marriages are the best.. now, i'm not talking about arranges marriages that used to take place 50 yrs ago.. I'm also not talking about Indian arrange marriages.. i'm talking about arrange marriages that takes place in modern Nepali society, where parents bring up potential dulaha rajas.. and dulahi ranees make selection... you don't have to pick if you don't want to, u get pleanty of choices.. something that westerners wish they had... i don't know why everyone is so oppose to arrange marriage and think the miserable western way it cool, or something...

Are you so ugly that you want to hide in a vail??

I am totally against any nepali marrying any musalte.........
I feel sorry for you

Ram Ram