If I had a penny for every phone call my parents hounded me with marriage, I’d have 3 dollars and 65 cents even. I’m sure you and I can both relate to the annoyance that happens to go “bihey garney bela bho, nanu…hamro janey bela…”, especially if you’re in a secret relationship or are happily single. My parents seem to think I’m at that “ripe” age to get married. Humor me on what “ripe” means, please.

My parent’s efforts began with a recommendation from my Thulo Mommy’s posse. “Nanu, pakka gaentulmyan ek jana cha…” she chimes, she enthusiastically continues to insist that because he’s in the US and has a Ph.D, we ought to get hitched. Yet she carries on with her sales pitch despite my clear vocal distaste about the whole thing and my obvious lack of attention to her chit chat. In an effort to end the call sooner, I agree to give Mr. Microbio a shot and speak with the dude. As scheduled, he gives me call. I’m really unsure about how things are supposed to proceed given my lack of experience in being set-up, so I let him drive the conversation. After a brief mutual summarization of our resumes, I conclude that he’s a go-getter, who’s probably balding as we speak given his age and education. As we continue the conversation, he tells me about his aspirations, both professional and personal, and subtly sets the tone for future talk. We discuss my cooking skills for a few minutes and he goes on to ask me a bunch of what-if/scenario type questions, the one that took the gold was “what if you and I were to get married, would you move?” Now imagine that in Nepali.

Needless to say, he was off the list. Although I’d gone in with no hope, no seriousness, I was irked by how much the entire thing seemed to resemble my dealings with Sr. Bitch. (http://tiny.cc/jg4bnw)

Mr. Database administrator is also Mr. Spontaneous. Next thing I know I’m answering his call at work mistaking him to be someone from Time Warner. I politely tell him I’m at work and call him back later that evening. He’s an open book - he just bought a new house, his friend apparently had a break-up crisis and had been dragged to go watch a movie at the local iMax. Thus, he wasn’t able to call me during the weekend. He asks me about my college and my professional background and I answer briefly from which he sparks another ten minute conversation about the weather in my region. Followed by “where did you graduate from?” again. I let him talk the entire time. Finally, after having heard enough and in desperate need to use the restroom, I end the conversation, for good.

Next up is Mr. Top Graduate student who refuses to talk and let’s me drive the conversation. I imagine that he’s more of an introvert and the complete opposite of all the other people I had spoken with. It relieves me to know he’s a bit different, and somewhere deep down inside I start to have faith in this awkward approach. So I ask him about school and how it must be tough juggling being a TA and studying. His brief responses and lack of interest make me want to hang up but I defer, I prolong the dead silence over the line. Heck, if he’s not talking, I’m not either. Finally after what seemed like forever, I muster up the guts to hang up and he breathes a (rude) sigh of relief.

My bff seems to think I’m being extremely picky, am I really given my choices? I even offer my bff a test drive by letting her have some of their phone numbers, but she refuses to believe me. I honestly don’t think I’m being picky, I am just at that age where I don’t know what I want, I want to have fun and worry about being married later. I know where the journey is headed, first it’s marriage for your parents, then it’s a baby for both the in-laws and the parents, promptly followed suit by baby number 2, and there goes my life. Please don’t mistake this expression for condescension, it’s confusion I promise. Having freaked myself out, I convince my bff and tell my parents, I need one more year to decide. Until then, I stay put with my boyfriend.

  "Until then, I stay put with my boyfriend. " If you already have a boyfriend why are you worried about getting married to other guys?

 Top drawer! Keep 'em coming! 

I guess parents will be parents and are always worried about you getting married :D Life is short.. having heard so many tragedy, my vote would be to stay single till you can, and enjoy it till it last!!!

But then again.. it can be taken otherwise too :) 

If this is a true story-- then good luck with it :) update us on what happened next.. But I think u were being choosey.. as once cannot be judged with one conversation....

You admit that you parents are putting pressure on you constantly and you act like your talking with random men just the sake for your parents. Have you even realised those men might be on the same boat as you are? You cannot judge a person by a phone call. If somebody else was to judge you by a mere phone call, would you think he/she would have got the real picture of you? So, the point is: go and talk with the folks but donot judge anybody so quickly. Do not talk for a long time intially and see where it goes.


One more thing I would like to add which applies to lot of us. Do not wait too long to get married. Life is full of sh*t and we cant avoid that. Do not make excuses by saying I dont have a good job, I am not done with my studies ......blah blah.  For women, the later you have your baby, the more chances of having complexities and disorders in your kid. Listen to your OLD MAN and WOMEN. You think they are bugging you but they have a wider vision than you.

Note:

 Not soliciting any marriage proposals. This is just fiction.

For those of you needing a preface, I wrote this while reflecting on the issues that nepalese young adults go through when looking for the right one, single/taken/married, whatever the case maybe. While this does reflect on people's problems, they're generalized and not specific to any individual. People going through these issues can get caught in the thick of it all and forget to actually live and love life. This was written from a humorous perspective for what is usually a stressful topic. Whether you think the first person in the story is right/wrong/a two timing tramp is totally up to you and I welcome your thoughts, but don't forget to read between the lines. Enjoy!

 But its true on what has been said.. or how the character flows or the story line.. if you are forced into smth as such, u dont have interest in it and however you talk or whatever u talk seems to be annoying and you give up easily :D 

You are in trouble now coz you said some Nepali men ate mean. That's a big no no here.

Replace ate mean with are boring.

 Nice read . I found this fiction of yours ironic yet humorous . Keep writing Foxconn .

Loved it. I thought you were a guy reading your first piece. Good one!

Nice read

I have never come to terms with the idea of arranged marriage which practically means the parents of girl chooses a sexual partner for her and same goes for the boy.

Agreed with halo. Wait until these men trample you with their chauvinistic horses. jk jk

Nice read though. I wish I could see more humor like this, but gosh, we are stuck with the likes of Lisa Lampanelli and  Sarah Silverman. You go, girl!

Appalled by some people failing to relate to this. This piece reflects experiences of a majority of Nepalese in the states and outside. One of my good friends had a guy fly out all the way from Florida to visit her in Chicago, only for the guy to be rejected right then and there because she noticed a missing tooth. Had he been a random guy she'd met at a Nepalese gathering, his missing tooth would've probably mattered less. 

The chances of a guy or a girl living abroad, resisting arranged marriage settings are significantly higher compared to those living in Nepal. Something just doesn't seem right and/or you tend to be crippled by uncertainty when you're asked to talk to a person with a preconceived idea that if the two of you were to 'like' each other, you two would be getting hitched. 

one of my friend had a similar experience where his parents compelled to talk with a girl in US.Turned out she had a bf .she had her sister dragged in between where he had some weird conversation and turned out she needed a taller guy provided my firend is not that short.Frustated and angry at the situation and for the sake of his parents he decided to go for his brother,bad news was he was not gay either...

 Thanks for reading, interesting to see the surprisingly different opinions on the topic. =)