Dear Sajhabasi ,

With zillions of thoughts and pain , I have finally decided to file for divorce with my spouse, but I just want to get help from experienced guy

What will the social impact on divorce?
Financial impact and emotional impact?

Life after divorce, I know its common in western world but getting common among neplaese.
If any one has gone through such thing, plz share your experiences.

I know if might be too late..
But for the next one... U might want to read it....Don't know who the original writer/creator of this, but I copied it from my wife FB...

AM I WITH THE RIGHT PARTNER?

During a seminar, a woman asked," How do I know if I am with the right person?"

... The author then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said, "It depends. Is that your partner?" In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?" Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind replied the author.

Here's the answer.

Every relationship has a cycle… In the beginning; you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love.

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet."Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It's a natural cycle of EVERY relationship.

Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, "Am I with the right person?" And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when relationships breakdown.

The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the person you found.

People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes.

Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it.

I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later.

Because (listen carefully to this):

The key to succeeding in a Relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the Person you found.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it.

Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), Just as there are physical laws Of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable.

Love is therefore a "decision". Not just a feeling.

Remember this always: God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let GO..

to stupida, You don't seem stupid as your name suggests. Awesome explanation !! My mom dad - 32 yrs of marriage but they still fight :)

My suggestion:
Spend time with people who support, value, and energize you
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/coping_divorce_relationship_breakup.htm

good one stupida :
The key to succeeding in a Relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the Person you found.
If i'll be ever in a relationshipo someday, I'll definitely keep this in my mind.

If you are getting divorced, you obviously have thought things through. If this is the right move for you... do it for you. Who gives a shit about the social impact. You do what's best for you cause no one else will.

Emotional and financial impact- I have no idea about.. but it's not the end of the world(i hope!!)

At the end of the day, whatever has happened, has happened to teach you a lesson... live with no regrets and keep your head up.

The trend of divorce is on increase these days among Nepalese people. I don't know if people are becoming more aware of the differences or they see the dominance of one over another. I once asked a Nepali couple who got a divorce "would you guys have reached here if u were back home?' Both of them said no. Something happens when the folks come from back home and try to their lives here.

Financially, you have to split everything in half. If the kids are involved, your share will be quite less. Socially, if you plan to live in US for rest of your life, it may not affect that much but if u wanna move back home, it surely affects you. I am not talking about what ppl gonna say but the chances of getting married is slim. It's a big decision bro. Take divorce as your last resort. If you think there is no way in the whole wide world you can live with that person, then go for it.

Saathi, you got to do what you got to do. I am sure you tried your best to hold on, so it is best to let go if you believe you have tried enough. Try to move on and find a new meaning in life. No use dwelling in the past now, instead look towards your future.

If you brood too much over it, it interferes with your mental health. Losing money can be really distressful, especially the hard earned money. But if you learn to let go, these sort of things will not matter anymore. And who was wrong and who was right does not matter anymore. What matters is that you let go and live a happy life and imagine that it all never happened. This is difficult to do and involves a lot of letting go, but once you master this art of letting go, you will be a much happier man. :) All the best.

 Did she cheat on you bro? Did she bang your friends behind your back? If not, try to fix your differences. If yes, [Disallowed String for - bad word] that bitch.

Once we get married: we are the two wheel of a cart but the wheels are in different size in the beginning. The bigger wheel always pulls the carriage on other direction, this can be taken care by proper communication and mutual understanding.  
This is the gap created due to two different culture and values that need to be compromised. In our culture male is always dominating female because she is the new comer of the house.  Are the male trying to understand her? Trying to give her more room and environment to adjust? Heck not? The new comer has to bend most of the time.
Communication and mutual understanding is the basic key of a harmonic married life which leads to a happy marriage and family life. Do you know what is her best book or the best movie? What is her best food? If you do not know some basic thing about her then you are the one making her drift away. Just good on bed is not enough. To make her ready you need to be a good player. Know some human psychology, you are ready to make love does not mean she is ready too. I mean there must be some mutual understanding and a love to make love.
You wrote: you are happy because finally you are getting divorce. Good luck.
But I have some questions: What did you do to make it?
What are the efforts you have tried from your part?
Divorce is not a baby play; it has emotional string as well financial attached. You will end up paying alimony for life. She will not work or do not remarry; it will drain your wallet. I am guessing you do not have any kids, then there is a big battle and a child without father or mother is like an orphan.

Let’s hear about your efforts on making your marriage better? Without trying is you are running away from yourself.  That is all.

I have been getting legal support from lawyer. and I am also looking for options, getting 2nd opnion from lawyer.
Thanx everyone but I am looking for suggestion from someone who has been in the same boat.

Let's not be sympethetic and take side.  We all jumped to give our advise without hearing the full story and both side story.
Each side present their story  more appealing and genuine.

 Divorce is the last options after trying all options.
You have hired a lawyer but have to visited to a marraige counselor? 
I do not think you did .

I am taking it as a fake story but it is worth of reading peoples comment and reading their minds on social issues.

take advise from seniors,
mostly u can do take advise from friends inlaws
i agree with magorkhe , may be someone has given wrong advise, wrong impression , may be its other inflicted
see other side of coin before taking extreme steps

@ kaluram bro , ek arkalee cheat garera aru sanga lagera bigreko hunuhunna tapai haru vane plz think twice , aru samanya kura ho vane plz try to fix it, kids 6 vane plz don't do it , strong vayerA unnati pragati garnos.....aru 10 yrs bak nahunu hos......u kno kids le bihanai beluki baba , baba, Mamu Mamu vanera yesto gar6 ,,, ufff maile dekheko euta Hamro bidyawan nepali family ..ahile 2 janai pa6utako 6...so think thrice hai bro !!! Ati nai va 6 vane kunai big deal ta haina ahile ko jamana maa ....b happy n healthy !!

well said beautigl
but you might wanna share stories with inlaws. may be with your friends inlaws, they might be a well advisable , go to their home, share stories, may come with well advise. good luck

JUST GO TO MARRIAGE COUNSELING TOGETHER.

think thrice before comitting that act, i agree with magorkhe1 , u should go for counselling , i think magorkhe is directly related for the divorce.did u greate a thread that brought this situatioon?If that so then u better be careful.
U can contact friends for help, inlaws and ppl who have gone through that kaluramm.

Want to add a bit kaluramm, once divorce is filled, both will spit the venom of each other, guys become abuser, beater, drunkyard, con, etc all the bad things, woman get more sympathy, freedom fighter, state support , support from friends, etc,
so better think before filing.ur life will be laid back again.its not like having sex in the beach cocktail

chora chori hurkaunna ra badaunna ati nai garo

tyo mathi chora bikaunna bhihe ma ajjai garo, nagara ba yesto kadam, bichar purau

wrong information and so called  assumption, trying to be hero to alert, constructive tisim going wrong , etc can be reason for divorce , mr lincoln, mr fedral jee, not only choro, chori pani garo cha

anyone with this type situation?? plz advice needed

Dude:  सहानुभूतिको पात्र नबन |

Get life  frist :  wanted real advise to go to counseling not Sajha.

move on, there are so many other important things to do in life.

What will the social impact on divorce?
They'll gossip about you and your spouse. What can you expect from them?
"Great people talk about ideas, Small people talk about people"
Just ignore and move on.

Financial impact and emotional impact?
You will have that impact for a while, but sooner you realize they're not important,
you'll recover fast. Those who worship past, are the ones who suffer most, those
who live in the moment, enjoys the life. Train your brain, dispose everything that's
belonged to her,forget those bitter past and move on.

Everything happens for a reason, you must have learned something, learn that,
evolve and move on.

well said bit truth,

but am looking for advice who have really walked my path and comment abt my journey
did u call @in laws during marriage
do u hv medical, police record to assume something and convey the message, trying to be hero
do u kn the difference abt prank n threat,
i agree with u great ppl talk abt ideas to  make better place
plz advice who hv really walked my path of life.
magorkhe , i am not  trying to get sympathey, wht the fffok sympathy means,


























































plz advice who hv really