HI ALL,

I have been a silent visitor of this site in the past. But the other day I was brought to attention to the thread about Nepalese women. I just ignored it thinking it's a mere thought of an individual who might have been mutated mentally by sporadic unpleasing and undesirable course of actions. I was surprised by overwhelming response how sensitive the issue became in no time, as the statement was, of course, not politically correct, and also might have hurt feelings of Nepalese women in general as well.

Folks, let me tell you something. Most of you came from Nepal. You, practically speaking, left everything back home and came here in US dreaming about reasonable life you deserve is possible to achieve here. Some of you might have ulterior motives as well which we can see whenever we go to the greater cities in US like Boston, NYC etc. Anyway, coming to the point, any endeavor to tarnish group of people (either men or women) would be a desperate, futile, meaningless and stupid act, as we all know, nothing in the world is absolutely correct or incorrect. Everybody has a right to dream, speak and write in a place like this where democracy is fundamental value of the foundation of the society. However, the very society demands not to violet the rights of other human being while exercising one's.
I am proud that I am a Nepalese. I believe in constructive criticism. I believe in both Nepalese men and women. I believe in core values and social norms founded, developed, modified and embraced by our ancestors. We have come a long way folks. We have a long history that could be traced back to that time when there was no civilization in the other part of the world.

At last, I would like to put two sentences and request you to understand.

1. Women, without her men, are nothing. (FOR WOMEN)
2. Women, without her, men are nothing. (FOR MEN)

If we understand the difference in meaning of the above two statements we will not see thread like Nepalese Men or Nepalese Women again.

Thanks for you time.

TABPONSKII

Very good advice, TABPONSKI

I truly believe that " Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus" . ( we are different ,yet cannot live without each other.)

Well said Tab.
DP

Tab if you do not mind I would like to elaborate on the "FEW GOOD MEN " that I have met. I will not stereo type them as Nepali, or American . Because I think it is wrong to do that.

I have had the opportunty to meet very good people ( both men and Women ) in my life. These are people who are hard working , knowledgeable , secured, ethical, value their culture and roots, open minded, progressive and respect opposite sex . I have noticed that a handful of them stand out and exist in sajha. Feels good to know that the world is still full of good and kind hearted people.

My personal advice " Glass is always half full" ( Some of us may not take it) .Let's all concentrate on how beautiful this world is.

So much for today :)

Thanx for well written thread.....Tab jee!!!

Yeah we are fighting each other saying nepali men and women are.....except some exceptions, most of us are blaming each other.It may be our inherent gift...".KHUTTA TANNE PRABRITI".......I haven't seen any applausing thread about nepali men and women since I became a member. When Puskar was in US, all were pointing out his negative part....saying "STOP !!NOT TO GO FOR WORLD CYCLING".If they were puskar they wouldn't go for cycling.

I am sure our mind hasn't corrupted yet.It can give an excellent ideas those can help to conquer the earth.We are smart enough to challenge mentallly and physically to anybody either kale !!or gore!!or gahugore!!.We just need our unity respecting each other.

On the matter of fact....If U guys don't mind......Its true ...except some exceptions!!!!

For Women: All Nepali men are ur one of your;
dai,bhai,bhatij,bhanja,chora,dad,uncle,mama,hajurba,bhanjadai/bhai,nati,panati,husband,boyfriend,justfriend,dewar,stepson/father/brother.................

For Men: All Nepali women are one of your;

didi,bahini,bhatiji,chori,mom,aunt,maiju,hajurama,bhanjidd/bahini,natini,panati,wife,girlfriend,just friend,sali,stepdaughter/mother/sister...

PASHUPATINATHA LE HAMI SABAIKO KALYAN GARUN!!!!

It all seems to be full of educated, civilised and morality people around here. I have to speak up in my simple english. I am simple male who left his home at the age of 13. I have been through so many roughages and bumbs in my life.
I have a lot of experience in relation at this moment of supreme life. I think we nepalese men dont respect women. we see them as a kitchen helper or mother of our children. We never try to look them as a life partner, pal close to heart or wife. The wife word means someone close to you who sacrifice all the things for the sake or you.
Guys here is a tips, make ur wife breakfast once in a while
help her to do dishes, laundary and clean the house
Tell her that u love her so much just by your eyes
try to create honeymoon again
dont be shy about sexual life which we lack a lot in our country
be exotic

one thing for gals, they should try to bring things out if they are not happy. dont keep it inside. I am so happy now coz i am 24 , i will be marrying at the age of 27-28 but i am sure to have so much understanding, sense of humour, education, common sense and passion wife> Keep it gals speak for yourself. At least i can marry pure nepalese now< MY dad married to half portugese gal who is my mum.

Cool thinking preeti rana. We need more ppl like u in nepal. I wont be going back to nepal till another 10 yrs coz of career is picking up.

but ppl like u can make it alive


cheers

Tap mitra,

U have spoken what i have been feeling from my heart all these days. u simply hit the nail on the head, dhanyabad mitra. me too a passive member in sajha, and surf around once in a while. i too feel proud to be nepali, and above that from an agrarian village in eastern nepal.

I am badly disturbed at how this - Nepali man - nepali woman - kinda postings are getting longer and longer, and making this cyber forum look ugly. And the pathetic things are, people are discussing very shallow stuffs like - nep gals are short and ugly, and the gals party again start bashing - nep guys are short and bla bla bla. But in all these, why does one fail to think that our height and physical attributes are something that is not under our control. Arent we short or tall by nature, and thats a kinda God giftet quality. Lets not comment on one just looking at his/her appearance, but try to feel the value one has underneath. Every man is handsome and every woman is beautiful - we just gotta wear the right glass. If someone is ugly, we should rather admire the good qualities in them and boost up their morale and help them be a wonderful citizen, rather than making bad comments on them. Isnt that what we humans are supposed to do. If i am not wrong, arent we the most developed creatures on earth, and doesnt it make sense for us to behave in a decent attitude towards other. We suld not judge a person on the basis ofattributes that are beyond his / her control. Never judge a book by its cover. I never have problem being nice to an ugly person. See folks, i have some friends - both guys and gals- that are so wonderful but not good looking. They have been a wonderful companions to me, and why suld their physical looks bother me?

if we look at a person at a glance, we often see bad stuffs on him/her and if we take a deeper insight, every person has some good qualitities. i remember this saying - Errors like straws upon the surface flow, to search for pearls one must dive below. So, lets be modest to people around us, and try to understand their good habits. This is how we develop a good value system and make this world a better place to live.

And another kinda postings i don like over here are the ones related to sexual provocation. I find it nasty.

There used to be a time when many postings with wonderful opinions came to Sajha very often, bt i have felt that it is in the decline these days. But there are good thinkers and writers in Sajha, its simply that these fluffy postings have mushroomed around. Sometimes, i woder how do they manage so much time to keep coming and bashing eachother.

Dear folks, as many of our friends above have raised, please do not bash eachother for shallow reasons. Such arguments are simply ugly. its time to change and express opinions that are very decent. It does not cost to be good to others.

Go gorkhali.

Hi,

I agree with what Mr/Ms TABPONSKII had to say. There is no denying in what he said.
However, I differ in opinion of what he thought about the earlier discussions on Men and
Women. The thread was not an attempt to trash Nepali women or Men, it was just a discussion on how we look. It is one thing to keep your eyes closed and think that everything is perfect and it is totally another when you start looking at themselves and find flaws and start correcting them. I would rather be the second person than the first.

As you said, it is the norms of a democratic society to differ in opinion and bring out the differences and get the best out of the situation (at least try). How could a general statement such as 'we, in general, don't dress up good and should improve upon it' violets the rights of thers is beyound me. Why are we so sensitive and so defensive ? Is it a sign of weakness or it is just our nature ? I think we should be little more open-minded and be able to listen to constructive criticism. We cannot just talk sweet and pretend that everything is OK when in fact, it is not. May be this is the reason we have so many problems back home and we still just hope (just hope and do nothing) that everything will be OK someday....

We have very old and rich history..in fact so rich and old that it is beyound our reach. I see any practical use of it in our current society other than talk about it and be proud of it. That may just be the best and only use of the history... Other than that, I have no further comment. No offense to anyone. It is just a matter of looking at the samething in different angle. And mine is obviously different in this thread....

saroj

i am all for constructive criticism, and believe in constantly striving to improve.

however, when you say things like "nepali men/women are short/ugly," i cannot see any kind of constructive criticism. it's "destructive" criticism. let me give you examples of constructive criticism: "your writing is really nice, but you spend too much time beating around the bush, instead of jumping to the main point." or "you are a very nice guy, but you have a short fuse. if you control your temper, ppl will like you more."

as gator_guy pointed out, there are things that are within our realm of control, and there are things you are born with. when i hear generalizations like "nepali men/women are ugly," i cannot help but feel sorry for the person passing those comments. it just displays an utter lack of judgement and common sense. let me offer you some constructive criticism, without appear to sound righteous - "when you are really angry and want to spite someone, don't post your writing immediately. take a walk, get some fresh air, and come back. then, think about it again without with a cool mind. that way, you will not regret you actions later"

and beachlife, to respond to your comment:
"I think we nepalese men dont respect women. we see them as a kitchen helper or mother of our children. We never try to look them as a life partner, pal close to heart or wife."

i cannot disagree more. in my family, the women seem to have the upper hand. the men really respect (and sometimes fear) the women. perhaps the statement you make was true 50 yrs ago. i cannot speak for everyone, but from what i have seen around me (family, friends, etc.) i cannot certainly make that generalization.

i've made my point.. dhanyabaad.

This is original l sajha thread !!!

Yah i have been silently reading these stuffs nepali men and nepali women! Against each other. We must join our hands with each other and need to think how to develop our family, society , community and our beloved Nepal.

Go ahead guys.

Cheers
gal1

God created men and then not satisfied with all the imperfections he went on to create women.

So all you girls there hold your head high, you are perfecto!