King Gyanendra Is Dead?


King Gyanendra's private helicopter once crashed in the middle of rural Terai area. Panic stricken, the Royal Army mobilized and descended on the farm in force. When they got there, the wreckage was clear. The Helicopter was totally destroyed with only a burned hulk left smoldering in a tree line that bordered a farm.

Royal Army descended upon the smoking hulk but could find no remains of the crew or the King Gyanendra's staff. To their amazement, a lone farmer was plowing a field not too far away as if nothing at all happened. They hurried over to surround the man's tractor.

"Oye tharu," the senior Army Officer asked, panting and out of breath. "Did you see this terrible accident happen?"

"Yep. Sure did," the man muttered unconcernedly.

"Do you realize that is the King of Nepal's Helicopter?"

"Yep."

"Were there any survivors?" the Officer gasped.

"Nope. They's all died straight out," the farmer signed cutting off his tractor motor. "I done buried them all myself. Took most of the morning."

"King Gyanendra of Nepal is DEAD ????" The agent gulped in disbelief.

"Well," the farmer sighed, obviously wanting to get back to his work. "He kept a-saying he wasn't, but you know what a liar he is."

कसै कसैलाई त कति फुर्सद हुनी हो?

के गर्नि दादाजी,
ज्यानलाइ फेरि एसो खसखस हुनासाथ दि'हाल्न मन लाग्च ।
फेरि चाइने कुरो लाइ फुर्सत न'भे नि नचाइने कुरो लाइ त फुर्सत निक्लिहाल्च ।
(द्रष्टव्य: तर माथिको जोक त चाइने कुरो नै हो)
(पुनश्च: दादाजीको फुरस्त नि कम त हैन हो)

यो केटा को रे'छ ... ... ... नयाँ त पक्कै हैन ... ... ...।
पुरानु नाम के हो सम्धि को?

दादा म त पुरानो पुस्ताको परिन नि ।
नयाँ नै हो , एक दम ब्राण्ड न्यू ।
के गर्ने दादा जी नयाँ ले काँध नथापे पुरानाले देसको हविगत बनाइ सके । त्यै भे'र क्या दादाजी।
दादाजी मैले परिचय दे'र नि दादाजीले चिन्ने हैन, हाम्ले जुन घाटको पानी खान्थेम् त्याँ दादाजीहरुले लुगा धुनुहुन्थ्यो होला !!!

ज्यानकाजी, कति जानेको भन्या जोक दिन । मलाई त अलिअलि डाहा लागिसक्यो । (तर दिन चैँ नछोडौँ है ।)

Gunture's Vacation!



Gunture and Ghaite were talking one afternoon when Gunture told Ghaite, "Ya know, I reckon I'm about ready for a vacation. Only this year I'm doing something different. The last few years, I took your suggestions as to where to go. Three years ago you said to go to the beach. I went to beach...and DilMaya got pregnant!

"Then two years ago, you told me to go campin' in the mountains...and DilMaya got pregnant again.

"Last year you suggested I go fishin' and darned if DilMaya didn't get pregnant again!"

Ghaite asks Gunture, "So, what you gonna do this year that's different?"

Gunture says, "This year, I'm takin' DilMaya with me!"

Dearly Departed



A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave.

The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, "Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?"

The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?"

The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied..."My wife's first husband."

Boss and employee were talking. Employee had caught cold.
"Sir, I am not feeling well today. I have caught cold."
"That is not a problem my boy. I had caught cold yesterday. So went back home home and "made a great love with wife" and everything was fine. Why don't you do the same? Go on my boy, I give you a half day leave." Boss thought that being humourous is a way of good management.

"How is it now?" The boss asked the employee next day.
"Thank you sir. It was a great idea. No cold now."
" I told you. I have experience." The boss told.
"But by the way sir, what a warm room you have! And what a comfortable bed!"

Snoring Was Not The Problem!



By the time Willard pulled into a little town every hotel room was taken. He finally pulled up to the very last hotel and went into the office.

"You've got to have a room somewhere," he pleaded. "Or just a bed - I don't care where."

"Well, I do have a double room with one occupant," admitted the manager, "and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past. I'm not sure it'd be worth it to you."

"No problem," the tired travellers assured him. "I'll take it."

The next morning Willard came down to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.

"How'd you sleep?" asked the manager.

"Never better."

The manager was impressed. "No problem with the other guy snoring, then?"

"Nope, I shut him up in no time" said Willard.

"How'd you manage that?" asked the manager.

"He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came in the room," Willard explained. "I went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, said, 'Goodnight, beautiful,' and he sat up all night watching me."

बिचरो ज्ञानेन्?द मरेछ है।कस्?तो रामरो मान्?छे थियो।नुन बार्?नु पर्?यो।के सुनु पर्?यो यो बिहानै।ॐ हरि हरि ॐ

Marriage But No Babies!



A six-year-old boy told his father he wanted to marry the little girl across the street.

The father being modern and well-schooled in handling children, hid his smile behind his hand.

"That's a serious step," he said. "Have you thought it out completely?"

"Sure," his young son answered. "We can spend one week in my room and the next in hers. It's right across the street, so I can run home if I get lonely in the night."

"How about transportation?" the father asked.

"I have my wagon, and we both have our tricycles," the little boy answered.

The boy had an answer to every question the father raised.

Finally, in exasperation,the man asked, "What about babies? When you're married, you're liable to have babies, you know."

"We've thought about that, too," the little boy replied. "We're not going to have babies. Every time she lays an egg, I'm going to step on it!"

What $100 Will Buy ?


In a train compartment, there are 3 men and a ravishing young girl. The four passengers join in conversation, which very soon turns to the erotic.

Then, the young girl proposes, "If each of you will give me $1.00, I will show you my legs." The men, charmed by this young girl, all pull a buck out of their wallet.

And then the girl pulls us her dress a bit to show her legs.

Then she says, "If each of you gentlemen will give me $10.00, I'll show you my thighs," and men being what they are, they all pull out a ten dollar bill. The girl pulls up her dress all the way to her legs in full.

Conversation continues, and the men, a bit excited, have all taken off their coats.

Then the young girl says, "If you will give me $100, I will show
you where I was operated on for appendicitis."

All three fork over the money. The girl then turned to the window and points outside at a building they're passing. "See there in the distance. That's the hospital where I had it done!"

Awful 4-Letter Words



A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. Back at home for a few days, the bride called her mother.

"Well, how was the honeymoon?" asked the mother.

"Oh, Mama," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic..."

Suddenly she burst out crying.

"But, Mama, as soon as we returned, Sam started using the most horrible language. He's been saying things I've never heard before! All these awful four-letter words! You've got to come get me and take me home! Please, Mama!"

"Sarah, Sarah," her mother said, "calm down! Tell me, what could be so awful? What four-letter words has he been using?"

"Please don't make me tell you, Mama," wept the daughter, "I'm so embarrassed! They're just too awful! You've got to come get me and take me home! Please, Mama!"

"Darling, baby, you must tell me what has you so upset. Tell your mother these horrible four-letter words!"

Still sobbing, the bride replied, "Oh, Mama ... words like cook, wash, iron, and dust..."

Do You Need To Diet?


It's Time to Diet & Exercise When...

...you try to do a few pushups and discover that certain body parts
refuse to leave the floor.

...your children look through your wedding album and want to know
who Daddy's first wife was.

...you get winded just saying the words "six-kilometer run."

...you come to the conclusion that, if God really wanted you to touch
your toes each morning, He would have put them somewhere
around your knees.

...you analyze your body honestly and decide what you should
develop first is your sense of humor.

...you step on a talking scale and it says, "Come back when you're
alone."

...to you, "Itsy-Bitsy Teenie-Weenie Yellow Polka dot Bikini" and
"The Impossible Dream" become the same song.

...you accept the fact that you can fool some of the people all of the
time and all of the people some of the time, but not while you're
wearing a bathing suit.