amber,
u r honing ur skill as a writer.

if i may opine, u might want to think about turning into professional one.

u have spent awful lot trying to build characters. my personal favorite Simrik uttered bright “thanks” to her, something unusual for the children like her. Ruku’s face lit up. She was surprised as well as pleased with that very word.

GOOD JOB.

and i do agree !!!!! You reap what you sow

====================================================
once again
what do i know (O:

Amber, your attention to detail is immaculate...The entire first half of the story proved it. I've followed you from your first try at a story in sajha and today I have to say that you've truly evolved into one of the finer writers at sajha. I'm finally beginning to feel your style. Great job.

BTW, liked the karmic twist in the end...Splendid!!

Have a great wkend

mademoiselle,
what narrative, what detailing, what presentation and what flow....simply bowled me over...i am totally, totally in awe of your literary prowess. BRAVO!

one thing i would like to ask you is: in all your stories i read so far, i have found hypocrisies/antagonism in your male characters. if i may ask, is it your plots' necessity (as they say, necessity is the father of invention :P) or is it just that you are unable to envision any male protagonists for your plots? whatever is the case, i would like to be a part of your 'world of men' if i may...i just want to see if i fit into the antagonism that you portray :D

“Things change, things stay the same. After all, C'est la vie” indeed and that's why- la vie est belle, hoina?

Why the "karmic twist"? The story was going on just fine till then.

gidilat,
perhaps mademoiselle was listening to this when she captured the plot in her mind:



sorry for the digression. doesn't hurt sometimes, now does it?

procrastinating is not a good thing to do..is it?:oS hehe

but am in the midst of one(a long one? :o| hehe) and rare as it is(for me :oD)..there are times when one just cant help feeln it was/is all worth it..and reading ur piece just made me feel that way re kya :oD or more actually ;oP hehe

and i like to believe i aint no natural-born-antagonist (if i am, may gawd help me!;oP)...but i really do strongly like to disagree when it is considered reaping-wat-we-sowed/karmic when an innocent begets for someone else sins!..when its a bad deed..is it good when what goes around comes around?which means it never will end?:oS hehe..someone has to put a stop to that cycle!!who?urself/ourself hoina?easier to be said that done eh?;oP..ooops...well i didnt take the endin such as that..i like to believe(cos i never do believe do i?hah)that Samrat admitted his "humanity"(esp to himself) when tragedy befell on him in the face of the innocent newborn of his...urghh like the baby's had a choice to be born the like that :oS..

but thats (just) life..such is life hoina? yeah checked the dictionary cos had no idea of that french word(like it is for countless of other things :oS hehe)only french i know and use profusely starts with the letter F..do i need to say more? hehe

and i try not to be superstitious..but if i was right now..u know wat i tell that idiot gawd? i tell it "be a man!do the right thing!" haha(ok ok!woman if u prefer that!im just repeating wat peter russell said in his shows..sheesh!go after him!not me!;oP hehe)but alas!gawd and being a man/woman?is tht possible?is it possible that it exists?no wonder i try not to be superstitious!one less confusion!!or is that one more confusion?:oS ;oP hehe..

anyways enuf of drifting ...u did mention in ur foreword,its fictional..so i shudnt think too much of it..but then again coincidence does seem to lurk in every nooks and crevices of this broken world of ours..dun u THINK so?..urghhh :oS hehe

cheers for sharing :oD...and dun mind my blabbering

good day!:oD

actually i forgot to mention (O:
u need to watch some punctuation (O: he he he (O:

just trying to pick on u (O:

Amber it was an absolute articulate read.The newly born paying price for the sins of father was despondent. The chauvinism of Samrat and his complicity ended in remorse, what ending. I initially opined that Samrat could have divulged his vice to his better half, but as a writer you couldn't have ended it better. Looking forward to reading more of your postings Amber.

Such is life indeed. Or is it? :)

Amber - Loved the story and your writing style. You need to write more :)

A couple of quick comments:

(1) I found it quite interesting that the victim you chose was someone who appeared to be a racist Briton who had the audacity to visit a country like Nepal and insult locals. The characterization of the victim served to generate little sympathy for him and brought up questions about whether the victim was inviting injury or death because of his prejudices and stupidity.

(2) Which I found very different from the rest of the story where Samrat was clearly on the receiving end of all things moral. You have done a great job building up his character using events, leading descriptions of him and the characterizations of the other people in his life.

(3) I liked the bold tone of the narrator's voice. Unafraid to talk about social taboos like drugs , infidelity and prostitution. Unhesitant to talk about class on a public forum like Sajha. I am not sure if this was intentional, but I was struck by how the seemingly irreconcilable forces of self indulgence and good moral behavior repeatedly surfaced during the course of the story and exposed what I thought was the underlying hypocrisy that can sometimes creep into people's lives.

All in all, a great read, a refreshing narrative voice and a well written story.

Please keep them coming.

Best wishes.

I don't know why I am writing on this thread. Probably because I have seen Samrats and their male chauvinistic world. I have witnessed young girls at a tender age sold in the heart of Kathmandu. I have seen the so-called class of ktm in a mess. I have seen them as drug dealers. I have seen their kids, felt their plight.
I have seen it all that's there in your story, but I haven't seen a writer of your caliber- par excellence.

Keep writing and keep exposing the double standards, hypocricies and parasites of our society. May be in the world of people like Lootekukur, it doesn't exist so they should know.

Thapap – A bright”Thanks” to you. Simrik is such a darling, isn’t she? Must confess, I have some kind of disorder when it comes to grammatical and punctuation errors.

Samsara- Yep, you were there when I wrote my very first story. May be for that reason amber has a special attachment with you when it comes to writing. Thanks for reading, once again.

Lootekukur- Thanks! I never follow any format of story writing. There are no standard ingredients in my work. There are no male antagonists as such in any of my stories. I love to portray human nature perfectly as it is: a million shades of gray. After all, we are all drawn from the same spectrum of human qualities, and are all capable of its highest and lowest shades, aren’t we? Everyone has something positive as well as negative to contribute and so to say, my characters are inspired by these real people. And this Hypocrisy thing, it exists everywhere, and happens any where. It is not just unique to certain class, group or gender.

Gidilat- Well, it was not exactly a ‘Karmic twist’. The way the plot moves along, the way the story unravels and re-ravels one could find several moments scattered across the entire episode for that particular consequence. It is Samrat who took it that way since it’s a natural tendency amongst us to judge everything from Karmic view. Thanks for dropping by.

Dananah- Thanks!

Occult- Thanks! It was just an attempt to touch the tangible AND the intangible in the literature.


Captain Haddock- Such a pleasure to have you here, Sir. I idealize the writer’s soul inside you. Thanks! Well, to be very honest I never intended to make it a propaganda type story. I just believe that “everybody has a conscience” and the entire story is based on that.

Godzilla- Everything you wrote makes a perfect sense. Thanks!! You are a sweetheart.