Science of Bollywood

There are no specific rules, of course, although general guidelines include:

• Punches must sound like small firecrackers.
  
• Guns must also sound like small firecrackers.
  
• The villain must be unshaven. Better still, he'll have a beard.
  
• The cue for the villain's defeat is when he crashes into a fruit stall.
  
• Amitabh Bitchin has his own rules.
  
• Mysterious music pops up from nowhere, which everyone hears
  (perfectly synchronised), and the ability to dance in time to it is
  miraculously granted to all bystanders.
  
• If you are a hero, you can jump from any building no matter
  how much high, you will not get a scratch & you can continue
  running after that.
  
• If you are hero, you cannot die without saying a long 15minute dialogue no matter how injured you are.
  
• If you're the heroine, you must sit there for fifteen minutes
  hiccuping and listening to your dying lover's speech, instead of
  calling the ambulance. Dumb bitch.
  
• The hero will, after fighting with at least 10,000 villans, come out without so much of a scratch
  
• Women stand wide-eyed, hand to mouth, while hero battles
  villain. Women never thinks to clonk villain with handy object.
  Counterpoint: If woman does clonk, she always hits hero instead.
• The heroine can get into a taxi and go wherever she likes without giving the driver any address
  
• When crossing a rotting suspended bridge, with well spaced
  wooden slats, the slat will always brake when a woman steps on it.
  Also, it is odd that the wood will rot away long before the vine ropes
  begin to rot!
  
•  Any actors in the movie who are not of Indian origin, especially Caucasians, must speak in an american accent. The accent produced must
  be out of tone and style with the rest of the cast.
  
• Each movie must have a inspiration movie from hollywood
• Thugs must always approach hero one at a time, even though they all came in a group.
  
• Every movie must have 10 songs. each needs to be a minimum of 10 minutes In the corresponding videos,

true facts. lol

Unfortunately, I think the list more relates to Kollywood than Bollywood. Bollywood seems to have moved on from its ridiculous 80's and early to mid 90's.

>> If you're the heroine, you must sit there for fifteen minutes hiccuping and listening to your dying lover's speech, instead of calling the ambulance. Dumb bitch. <<

That was hilarious !!!

I don't see much differences in Kollywood and bollywood..atleast kollywood is shot in nepal all the different in bollywood is they doing abroad.and if something new comes its a carbon copy of hollywood..freak me out i have a arab frens n they listen to arab muzik al da time..n i'came to know there are 100s of Dhoti song..they actually copied from arab music..damn..dhoti know where to look for...i think they dont' even have a script writer..they just sit infront of hollywood movie and allocate who is is playing what role...

damn can't stand bollywood..............thanks god i quit watchin ages ago....I feel sorry for kollywood they can't improve coz they dont' have sufficient funds..or large viwers..but despite everything ...bollywood is crap as hell ...loook @ there acting man..sucks...they there coz of there family movie history not due to there skills...

Its personal choice but i can't stand bollywood..its just a waste of time money...& I just hate it..I HATE IT ...they suxxxx

 

 

 

True. I watched "Memento" and after that "Ghajini." One thing that surprised me most is in Mememto the hero
(I forgot the name) uses the tattoos in his body as clue for a lot of things but in Ghajini though Aamir Khan almost had equal number of tattoos he never used any of them to get a clue (or if I remember only once). Why did he made so many tattoos.  LOL.
If they have to copy or so called inspired then why don;t they copy the whole thing.

That's  a Hindi mOvie ..if they didnt' copy from Hollywood..LIKE THIS GUYZ VIEW ON BOLLYWOOD

Bollywood may range from simple love stories, to epic love stories, to love stories with many different love triangles, to slightly epic loves stories. A typical example would be boy meets girl, strict father finds out, girl is locked away then kills herself (mainly due to intolerable pain of heartbreak and thrashings from the father). Bollywood films are main story with a 10 minute song and dance routine in every 5 second interval. The timing of the songs can be quite appropriate (i.e. person dies- lets have a boogie!) These are usually filmed (but not limited to) in the rain, in the mountains of Switzerland, in a gaudy mansion, in the mountains of Switzerland, at a wedding, in America (for some reason) or in the mountains of Switzerland. Of course, in Bollywood, one only needs to do the wild dance to create babies. Because of the conservative and hypocritical nature of India, porn is considered to be holding hands. Recently the Indian public has found out that there is a such thing as sex (who would have guessed). The addition of kissing scenes in Bollywood served to reduce the population of India, since many individuals had heart attacks. Porn is now considered to be hugging and that is why Indian men have a premature ejaculation problem

thank god that sounds have some improved..

otherwise in past, if hero punches then " Dishummmm" Dishum mmmm

gunfire; dhachkiyaaaaaaaaa

mother of hero kills villian to take revenge with a ak47 and sub machine gun like a toy.