HAZARDOUS MATERIALS INFORMATION SYSTEM 
MATERIAL SAFETY DATA SHEET

WOMEN: A Chemical Analysis

ELEMENT: Woman 
SYMBOL: Wo 
DISCOVERER: Adam 
ATOMIC MASS: Accepted as 118 lbs., but known to vary from 110 to 550 lbs. 
OCCURRENCE: Copious quantities throughout the world

PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:

1. Surface usually covered with a thin film of makeup.
2. Boils at nothing, freezes without reason.
3. Melts if given special treatment.
4. Bitter if incorrectly used.
5. Found in various states ranging from virgin metal to common ore.
6. Yields to pressure applied to correct points.

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:

1. Has a great affinity for gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones.
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning, and for no known reason.
4. Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly increased by saturation in alcohol.
5. Most powerful money-reducing agent known to man.

COMMON USES:

1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
2. Can be a great aid to relaxation.
3. Very effective cleaning agent.

TESTS:

1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in natural state.
2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.

HAZARDS:

1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands.
2. Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained at different locations as long as specimens do not come into direct contact with each other.

GOOD JOB, WHAT ABOUT MAN?????????

Element Name: MAN

Symbol: Xy

Atomic Weight: 180 +/- 50

Physical Properties: Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find pure sample.

Chemical Properties: Attempts to bond with ‘Wo’ any chance it can get. Also tend to form strong bonds with itself. Becomes explosive when mixed with Kd (element: child) for prolonged period of time. Neutralize by saturating with alcohol.

Usage: None known. Possibly good methane source. Good samples are able to produce large quantities on command.

Caution: In the absence of Wo, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell.

Element Xy is also known to have high affinity towards molecule Wo2.

Ladies please forgive me if anything rude.......and guys just keep this in mind...

~ Women brush their hair before bed.

~ Women are paid less than men, except for one field: Modelling.

~ Women need to cry. And they won't do it alone unless they know you can hear them.

~ Women will always ask questions that have no right answer, in an effort to trap you into feeling guilty.

~ Women always go to public restrooms in groups. It gives them a chance to gossip.

~ Women hate bugs. Even the strong-willed ones need a man around when there's a spider or a wasp involved.

~ Women can't keep secrets. They eat away at them from the inside. And they don't view it as being untrustworthy, providing they only tell two or three people.

~ Women love to shop. It is the one area of the world where they feel like they're actually in control.

~ Women never understand why men love toys. Men understand that they wouldn't need toys if women had an 'on/off' switch.

~ Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

~ Women have better restrooms. They get the nice chairs and red carpet. Men just get a large bowl to share.

~ The average number of items in a typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

~ Women can't refuse to answer a ringing phone, no matter what she's doing. It might be the lottery calling.

~ If a man goes on a seven-day trip, he'll pack five days worth of clothes and will wear some things twice; if a woman goes on a seven day trip she'll pack 21 outfits because she doesn't know what she'll feel like wearing each day.

~ Women keep three different shampoos and two different conditioners in the shower. After a woman showers, the bathroom will smell like a tropical rain forest.

~ Women are never wrong. Apologizing is the man's responsibility, 'It's there in the Bible'. Hmmm, who was it that gave Adam the apple?

Very funny. Thanks guy's.

Element Xy found following duel Wo element. 

May react with several Wo isotopes in short period under extremely favorable conditions.

Usually willing to react with what ever is available.

  - take it easy.

RUSTIC where did u got it......really entertaining...

a nice one...

A picture talks a thousand words.

 

--The bond between these two elements - Wo and Xy is a covalent bond.

--It is more stable in it's compound form -Wo3Xy. One Xy bonds with 3 Wo.

--The covalent bond changes everyday, but overall , it is at maximum when it first started and with time it decreases and reaches its lowest threshold at around mid time, and then increases again with time and reach maximum . So if u plot a graph --- it's a upward curve..see below.. (please try to imganine this curve by joining the .. dots; I was not able to load the picture and also the line is not perfect, its a zigzag as bond changes everday and follows patterns for time)

 

Bond

|

|
|..Max                                              ..Max
| ..                                                ..
|   ..                                          ..
|   ..                                     ..
|       ..                          ..
|          ..                        ..
|                 ..         ..
|---------------..---------------------------
                          Min                                  Time

 

-- there are many Catalyst such as alcohol, money, looks, and many more which affects the bond   depending upon the time and place.

 

I will post more..........................
 

 

How To Translate Womenspeak

When She Says                    She Really Means

---

No...................................... Yes.
Of course I'm not upset................. Of course I'm upset, you moron!
I might as well tell you 
Bob and I are seeing each other......... Bob and I are having sex.
I feel I've known you my whole life..... I'm drunk.
Will you respect me in the morning?..... You won't tell your friends, will  you?
I never do this on my first date........ I always do this on my first date.
Don't touch me there.................... Touch me there, but I'm going to  stop you the first few times.
                                         
You're...so manly....................... You need to shave and you sweat a  lot.
Hello? Oh yes. Didn't we meet at the
                   bar Friday night?.... I've been waiting by the phone for  three days
Let's not talk "commitment". Let's 
             just see what happens...... I'm not taking any birth control  pills.
You're certainly lovely tonight......... Is sex all you ever think about?
I can't believe you're here.It must 
                           be fate...... I've been following you all day.
I'm particular who I have sex with...... I draw the line at barnyard animals.
I'm not emotional and 
             I'm not over-reacting...... I'm having my period.
I hope you're not disappointed.......... I'm flat chested.
Just come upstairs for a drink.......... Maybe if I get you drunk you'll have  sex with me.
I love a man who takes charge........... You're picking up the bill, aren't  you?
Be romantic...turn out the lights....... I have flabby thighs.

Never trust a woman

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