3 years is a long time, I  might have 6 gfs by then if i continue from my current trend lol  I found that the most imp thing in life is to get in relationship w/ smbdy who likes u rather then who u like. My exp tends to think that way dude. I might be wrong. 

can somebody create a 9-5 full time Nepalese in US group in facebook. let's see how many people would sign up plus it'll give a good opportunity for all full time workers to mingle with each other in their respective town/areas.

Arrange marriage ta chadai cha ni! Tara, sometimes I think how it feels to love and be loved.

ok. i read a couple of posts... interesting.... i'll read later... reply garera bookmark gareko...

Sheetalb, ur frd is a grt example of how arranged marriage can go wrong, and what nightmare are there. However, a single instance of such incidence is not a reality. Remember Biology - "there is always exception."

For me, ur story makes no sense to me.....( ki script lekhnay garay koe cha movie koe lagi...?; thats what came to my mond when I read so ........)

"One of my friend recently got married because his parents forced him to marry this girl who seemed nice and all " - Remember all parents want is - your khusi. ( i know you still find all those cast and status thing, and what not).....I don't think any parents in this 21st centeury will force you to marry to someone particular........No parents will force you to marry someone they don't know well ( u siad she seemed nice...........so that mean they never knew her well nor her family...) Some thing fishy here.......I smell a story writing practice here..........

"I have also heard of story where a girl married a US based guy to come here and once here ran away with another guy who was her boyfriend and was ilegal for long time. " - Another story u heard from another story writer. I don't think girl will go to that extend just to be here. They will not sell their body and spend their few weeks with some unknwon guy and make all physical relationship and create situation where she and family and closed ones cannot show their faces for teh rest of their life. (well, I cannot say with 100% confident here..I have seen things preety bad than this). How come her boy frd (illegal) agreed to this? then blame the guy who married her...I know a bolloyhood movie with the same sort of story - where this girls married a rich guy, and she makes all sorts of 'bahana' for a month everytime the husband wants to make physical realtionship.....R we talking about this movie?....

Well, All I am saying is you don't just jump to a decesion - specially the greatest decesion of ur life. And we should never forget that Praents never wants ur wrong or even try to bring misery to you. I know, sometimes they disgaree with what u think because of generation gap. But, when you gonna use your all earned knowledge and things and experinece that you acquired over this perioad of time using their money?....They will always listen to you, sometimes it is just a time... 

Let me just say that through relatives personal experiences in this matter, it is not inconceivable that somebody would marry to go abroad. At least 4 of my relatives have had arranged marriages, where they went to Nepal to seek a wife and brought them back here. All those women have said they just married to get out of Nepal. Obviously the person they told behind closed doors told me so i know it came straight from the horses mouths. Well those women don't even like their husbands! (again from horses mouth) They are just going along with their routines and i am really mindboggled as to how they can do this day in and day out! Coming abroad away from their families in Nepal to a complete strangers house and family, performing their wifely duties in their own personal way if u understand me....!

I think people are shooting themselves in the foot if they get arranged
marriages. It just isn't healthy. But if it works out nicely for u like
u begin to love each other and have a happy marriage, then you
definitely are rare lucky ones!

My own experience: My family were also trying to fix me up with some dudes too. They aren't the forcing kind though thankfully! Well i met a particular dude, he had some good criterias, educations, business, morals, family, personality.....etc..... but i just could not take it all seriously...my heart didn't connect with him, it really felt all systamatic because it was a set up where everyone knew and wanted a Yes or No answer after. I like to have control over my own destiny. Of course i said No to the whole arranged deal, never again, i did try it and i hated it. We only got one life and i want to spend with someone i love before marrying him. I guess im the romanticism type of gal. So i'm just goin to have to go out there and find someone myself someway somehow. I'm willing to wait.


Quaggy, i'm not sure which 'The Dude' u are referring to there mate, did u think i was one of your FB friends...? Gawd. Hahaha....you're funny! Well i'll be happy to be an 'IT' to u. So cute. :)

Damn. You certainly splashed some words of wisdom/advice there FF and I'm really thankful for your heads up.

It never occurred to me that Nepali girls' fascination of getting out of Nepal. That's a really excellent point and one that we could give some thoughts to.

On a different note, things get even more complicated when you're of a different religion and your parents want you to get married to a certain caste and a certain religion. Of course, conversion ( religion ) is always an option but should I fall for a girl, I don't think I can be selfish enough to ask her to convert her religion.

Needless to say, things look really bizarre and twisted for me.

Excellent. I never thought of it that way as well; but since FF brought it up I can definitely see it can happen to anyone.

I do have problem with arranged marriage as well. I just find it really hard to be able to live/love someone who you hardly know; especially if you are getting married in Nepal and you have only talked to each other on phone.

But, then I have been in couple of serious relationships and lived together and it did not work out as well.

Anyways, a very good perspective on arrange marriage by FF.




Quagmire, bro good point as well...different religion, caste why it has to be complicated!!!

Peace!

Quaggy & Ahead_Of_The_Rest.

You're most welcome guys...thanks a bunch...its nice to know i was able to bring out a different perspective from my experiences. What can i say, its pretty dangerous to risk your whole life on a complete stranger... oh where art thou my life-matey...have to keep askin.....hehe.... :D

Also, when u actually have few serious relationships but none of them works out as AOTR mentioned, then at least u know it just wasn't meant to be and u find out before u marry right. With arranged marriage, u just don't even know until your already in a$$ deep marriage and u can't back out...it turns into a 'have to stay and make this sh*t work for the kids or parents or izzat, etc' type of marriage. Erghhh. God forbid.

Nowadays, many of us are not personally arsed about intercaste marriages...
so 1 Question:. Do you guys want your future wife to be a certain religeon or not bothered?

To be quite honest, I don't give a toss about whether my girlfriend comes from a Newar, Gurung/Rai/Limbu/Sherpa, Bahun or my own Chetri caste.

About religion....I personally don't care. I'd personally not want her to be a hardcore religious woman! I'd want her to spend more time with me than god(s). But family's demands are what complicate things...my mom wants her to believe in only god and god's son or demands that she gets converted. Tricky deal, it truly is.

well.. this seems pretty interesting...didn't knw tht arrange marriage and deciding for it is such a buzz hehe..well as per me I am good to go with any of them..my perspective is anything will work if you want it to work and marriage is not an exception .. I personally don't have any experience about this thing but I think it is all up to you.. If you think that u'r parents know what you are looking for and u have faith in them go for it..if not you can always tell them because all they want is u'r happiness right?? I'm sure they'll try to create some complications even if you have everything perfect (as in caste, socio economic status and bla bla ) but if you stick with your choice they'll give up trust me...I've seen tht!!

" but if you stick with your choice they'll give up trust me...I've seen tht!! "

'It ' s funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. It ' s like asking someone, If suicide is better or being murdered'.... :P - stolen from a desi forum :D

It does not matter whether you do love or arranged marriage. Only difference between love and arranged is  In love marriage you know the person very well before marriage but not completely. I think marriage is another name of sacrifice so if you are willing to make sacrifice then you are good to go.

For me Arranged marriage is fine coz i have no any other options. Chance of finding a girl myself is very less because i work 9-5 and i am not in college. Its been like ages i have not seen any Nepali Girls. People are just scared of arranged marriage nothing else.

Nah m not married and nowhere near to be either.. still have like 4-6 yrs of my independence with me..luckily.. for the assurance fact u can see it all over the places..I've seen many ppl who does tht and many of my cousins did tht..I don't think any parents will block their children out of their life just because they married someone frm other caste or religion...well purano jamana ko kura vaye aarkai..but I might be wrong too.Ii don't really knw whr u r coming frm and stuff..anyways Best of Luck with u'r life and hope u will make a right decision..
Peace

 Iwas not making up the story ...the first incident actually happend to one of my close friends and he is in a really bad state right now...blaming himself , lack of confidence or trust in other girls, etc. I was really surprised to hear his story as well because it sould like a story but for some people it can come true!...

But then even in love marriage, what if you fall out of love at some point? Would you then leave the person because you r no longer in love? it can happen too, right?

Well, My appology..........But as I said that was just my thought...it was first thing that came to my mind, while reading the post.........nontheless, I am very aware with our Nepalese mentality - 'one ear, two ear, and then field' ("aak kan, dui kan, maidan"). however, it doesn't make of all us into same default.

Anyway, this is why I like this kind of healthy conversatations. It really made me think over all these during this weekneed. If all these can be true, and ppl can go to such extend for various reason....I would really wait and find the right one before making any decision. As few of u said above, I still think whatever works best for you is the best choice as marriage doesn't come with guarantee.

But thanks to all out there, for their inputs......It really helped me.

please no arrange.. takes out the fun of wooing the girl u lobb. :D wtf...arrange is for cheaters (pun not intended :P).

"But then even in love marriage, what if you fall out of love at some point? Would you then leave the person because you r no longer in love? it can happen too, right?" 

Speaking of Marriages, this seems to be a perfect marriage that everyone could dream of.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=np8RxeRFFD4