Back in the day in Kathmandu, many people found bluff calls very entertaining. What is your bluff call story? 

I remember when I was like 8 or 9 and I could immitate a grown woman's voice. I called this one random house and started to say, "Barbaad bhayo. Barbaad bhayo."
The other person: "Ke bhayo? Ko yo, Sano maiya boleko ho?"
me: (hesitantly) ...ho. 
Other person: "ke bho?"
me: (weeping at this point) barbad bho...barbaad.
other person: (at this point they are calling the other people in the house to the phone and saying frantically)"Ke bho ta testo ke bho...sano maiya lai?"

Me: Hya aunus ani bhanchhu. Phone bata esto kura garna hundaina. (and then I hung up the phone when I heard people were getting ready to race out of the house.) 

Me and my cousins were laughing and laughing. Anyway now that I think about it it was pretty bad. Some more old people might have gotten a heart attack.

This is Kirpal. Why you kick my dog?

It wasn't a crank call of any sorts, but back in the days I received a call one fine Saturday afternoon. The caller at the other end was a teenager. He started speaking right off the bat the moment I answered his call. This is what happened:

Me: Hello

Him: बुवा, सिमेन्ट त बीस रुपैयाँ बढी पो भन्छ, लिएर आउँ?

Me: लिएर आ

Him: हस बुवा

Me: आउँदा खेरी आजको अखबार र एक किलो जेरी पनि लिएर आ

Him: जेरी कहाँ बाट ल्याउने बुवा?

Me: जहाँ बाट भएपनी राम्रो हेरेर लिएर आ न, पैसा पुग्छ हैन

Him: पुग्छ बुवा

....and I disconnected. It was several years ago but I still feel bad thinking what could have transpired next.

 

Man!!
You made me carry all that jeri for nothing.

Stiffler, it wasn't nothing. Remember we sat by Kupondole Pul and ate the jerry while you waited for Kanchi Maya to get off St. Mary's School :)

Jeri ko kura padhdai thiye, haas uthera chaupat....kaam ma chheu ki dhotini malai herera confuse bhaaki chhe!!!
 mero prank call yesto chha, called a friend of ours from a room where we could see him pick up the phone:

me: dai, lina aaunu na .... ma bolya....

other: ko bolya?

me (crying) : ma dai, tapai ko number dinu bhaa thyo baa le, pugera phone gar bhannu bhaa thyo, tapai lai ni phone garnu bhaa hola.....

other: huh? ko re.....?

me (not letting him continue and sobbing): mero jhola, paisa, sappai lutyo dai, khalashi le gausala maa oraldyo, ma gaushala dharmashala ma chhu dai...khana pani khaa chhaina dai..ma 14 number kotha ma chhu dai.....phone raakh bhanyo dai....jhattai aaunu dai...HUNG UP

after the call, we could see him, scratching his head, deciding what to do and not to, finally he made up his mind and came outside, kicking his splendor bike, carrying an extra helmet and before he left, he shouted at us...."oye....ma ekchhin maa aauchhu hai....emergency chha"

Remember the calls saying you won this and that..here's one we did it for fun to our friend who was working in  gas station.

Me: Hello sir how you doing today?

Friend: I am good, how may I help you?

Me: We are just informing you that you just won a millionaire dollar prize.

Friend: I haven't played any lottery or anything how come I win?

Me: No sir, it was just an random person chosen and you were chosen and you just won a millionaire dollar. So lets verify your name, address and your phone number. Is your name ----- , your number 123456...and your address.....?

Friend: Yes but how did I win?

Me: You were just randomly chosen sir. So you can contact us anytime at 1-800-123-4567 to claim your prize and your reference number would be GP1234.

Hung UP !!

Later he came home and said - Malai phone garera 1 million jitis bhanyo yaar sachikai hola ta? We laughed and laughed till he knew we pranked him..lol !!

Honestly, I called 101 firefight no. when I was little may be in grade 3 and talked with the receiving person for like 5 mins; and it was a good gentlemen's conversation. We had just studied about emergency nos. like 100 and 101 and I wanted to try........nepal mai ho, bhaktapur area.

Uranus,

That jerri story was classic, yaar. Too funny. I laughed so loudly that I had to relay the joke to someone close to me. We both had a good laugh.

OK, I have a story:

There was a bunch of us Nepali guys living in a house in Texas. And one of the guys, feeling bored, I guess was curious what would happen if he dialled '911.' I guess he thought it would be like Nepal where he could just say, "wrong number" and hang up. Unfortunately we lived in a small town where we were the few brown people in the town. I'm sure the cops were always curious about how we lived and what we were up to. So anyway, apparantly this guy called '911' and then said 'wrong number' and hung up. And guess what happened?

Less than ten minutes later two cops showed up at the door saying, "Someone called 911 from the landline of this house."

The rest of us are looking at each other's faces. Who? What? Huh?..."No officer...no one."

The two cops are walking around the house and talking to us slowly like we don't understand English:  "Guys....do you have a little girl hidden in a closet in this house? Did she dial 911?"

 "No officer...there are no girls in this house at all."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes officer, it is only us Nepali boys."

"Then who dialled 911?"

We are all looking at each other's faces. The only thing is that we knew the only person who was playing with the phone just 10 minutes ago. Man, after those cops left, we each gave some punches to that guy. And he was the source of many many jokes for the next few weeks.

My brother had a crush over a girl who attended St. Mary's school back in early 90s. Being extremely inhibited, he never could tell her how much he 'loved' her (he seriously believed it was love, we did too) like anyone of us wouldn't, back in those days. Somehow his friends got her number and asked my brother to call her. After numerous attempts he agreed to do that, but wanted a proxy, so the kid who did chores for us, 11 year old Jhalak was asked to make a call. Jhalak had never called anyone before and was dying to talk on phone ever since he set foot at our place. He was extremely delighted when he was asked to do that. This is what happened next:

Jhalak: हेलो डिम्पल दिज्जु बोलिस्या हो?

Dimple: को बोल्या?

Jhalak turns to us: को बोल्या भनिस्सिदै छ.

Us: आफ्नो नाम बता न, अनी अगी सिकाको कुरो भन्न

Jhalak: म झलक बोलेको, अनी दादाहरु ले भनिस्या सान्दादा ले हजुर लाई लभ गरिस्सिन्छ रे

Dimple: के रे?

Jhalak (speaking louder): हाम्रो सान्दादा ले क्या, हजुरलाई लभ गरिस्सिन्छ रे

Dimple: मोरा (and she disconnects)

Jhalak turns to us: गाली गरिस्यो

Poor Jhalak. Great story though........ What happned to your brother and Dimple?

Rekha,

Ironical as it might sound, Dimple married one of our cousins, and my brother ended up marrying her cousin. Jhalak is also here in United States, he won a DV lottery visa few years ago.

That is very funny, did Dimple every found out about your brother or who it was that called her that day? That's great fod JALAK. Good Story ;-)

Rekha,

I am not sure if Dimple knows that, but I have invited all of them during Dashain. Now that you mentioned, It'd be a perfect timing to let the cat out of the bag, and make my brother दसैं को बोको.

Uranus,

That Jhalak story is hillarious. It reminds me of a story of back home. We had a new servant, Shyam, who had just arrived at the house. My mom was teaching him how to address the people in the house.

He was told to feed one of the young kids. He comes back after half an hour and says,
 
श्याम : सानो मैयाले भात् नै खाएन।

my mom: हेत्, खाएन भन्दैनन, सानो मैयाले भात खैशिएन भन्न पर्छ। घर को सबै जनालाई हजुर भनेर बोलौनु पर्छ है?

श्याम :  हस्

A few weeks later Shyam comes running into the house:

Shyam: कुक्कुर ले भात् नै खैशिएन।

 

 

A horrible one....

I was 18 and my nephew (bhatij) was 14. He had a crush for his next door neighbor. They had already left that locality and were living close to us. But only 20 minutes away from where they used to live.

My nephew made a call, mimicking a husky voice.
(He did not found the neighbour but his wife)

My nephew: Mailay ........ lai khojeko ?
The lady: Uha ghar ma hununna.
My Nephew: Hami maobadi ko central office bata boleko. Uha lai hami lay bhetnu parni chha.
The lady: (scared) Kina hola?
My nephew: Hamro hisab kitab garnu chha. Dhreai kura milaunu chha.
The lady: K bhannu bhako.
My nephew: Aja uha ghar farkannu hola. tehi bhanna fone garya.
The lady: Kina, Ko bolayo tapain?
My Nephew: Hami uha lai ghar farkine bato ma wait gari rako chhau.
My nephew put the phone off after that !! He dialled some 4 digit and told me it was ok now coz after dialing that 4 digit they cannot trace back.

After 4-5 hours about 7pm there was a phone call to our house. My elder sister picked it up. They then told, that they have traced that number as a Maoist central office and have received death threat to the Personal Assiatant to Nepali Congress Leader Sushil Koirala. My sister was shocked and told that they must have made some mistake as she explain it was just mum and her little brother living at that house and dad and another brother living abroad. They then told the exact location of the house and the name of the person who the phone was registered to (my another sister)and when the call was made.

They then said, they were calling from Nepali Congress Office in ....... ,5 minutes away from my house. My sisters face was red and she was shaking.  They told that they are reported that to police and the police was coming for house raid. It was at the height of Maoist War  and police coming for raid was like one of ur family member will be killed for sure. 

My sister put of the phone and started crying.She explained that to mum.... Mum suspected me of making the hoax call. I explained the situation. I went to my nephews home and told that to his mum. She excatly knew what was involved. She the started hitting him randomly and told that she will phone that person and tell what happen and will give my nephew to police. My mum was really concerned and phoned my uncle who was an army major at that time.

Thank god nothing happened at last as that person really knew who was really making the call. My nephew got called into his house. That mans wife beat him badly. I got told off badly by my mum, my sis and my uncle.  That three hours from that call from them and until everything was settled is the word hours of my life.

That was me calling u back as the nepali congress cadre. That was a revenge for harassing my sis Meera.

Machhu dai !!

It wasnt me who did the call but was a senior at our school.
Amit (our senior) was one of the most humble boy and one of the most talanted one in the school. He was at class 9 at that time. Our school had two different sites (20 minites walking distance apart) fo junior and senior section. The prinicple (first name : Machhendra) had office in both the sites.

I clearly remember it was friday and all in senior school had our play session that afternoon. Somehow around 3'o clock Amit managed to get into prncples office and decided to make a prank call. His worst decision was to calll the principal himself. He called the principals number in junior school and asked if could speak to Machhu dai !! What Amit didnt knew was theere was caller ID in junior school.

After half an hour the principal was in senior school and asked all of us to assemble. He told that someone phoned him from senior school and talked nonsense. He said that he recognised the voice but wanted the culprit to come forward himself otherwise it will be a mass punishment for all in senior school. All the teachers were angry too. the class teachers were told topunish their respective class. All of us were punished by the teachers (and remind you the school hwas run by teachers from Darjeeling, well known for their punishment). Atlast Amit came forward and said, he did it and he was sorry for it. I have never seen anyteacher beating their student so badly. Principal then announced that Amit was such a waste of humanity and talent that he deserves no place in the school and decided to resticate him.

Amit somehow managed to get back to the school after two months but he was figure of hatred for most but loved at the same time for his courage.

I had Crush on this guy for so long ..... I always call him ..... When ^he say hellow I hang up ..... One day well me and my friend were smoke .... I miss his voice so I call him like i always do but my friend ....

Say to me ^you have no guts let me help ^you .....
She call call him
^he pick up How soon ^he say hello my friend I LOVE YoU !!! Is that u sunita .....
My friend hang up
She shiiiit wat am gonna do ^he know is me ....
After that she never talk to him ....
And ^he got married to some one else

 @Uranus: Keep rolling ~~