The mood in Kathmandu has changed so much from what I remember as a child. Of course I do realize that we all have a tendency to look back on our childhood with more romanticism that there actually was. But nevertheless, I do feel that in many ways things were different. I feel that families, relatives and friend's were a lot more closer togethor. People felt a kinship. Now, Kathmandu feels like Delhi or another big city. It feels so much more "dog eat dog." I don't know, maybe it was always "dog eat dog" even when we were growing up.

Back in the 80's, perhaps because the opportunities to grow and be successful were far and few between, people more relied on relatives and friends for a sense of security and safety. Now, because so many banks have been privatised, businesses flourishing, educational institutions open, perhaps more people feel that they can make it on their own without having to rely so much on others. The mood now seems more on competition and showing off our successes to our closest relatives and friends rather than cooperation and being there for others in times of hardship.

I was having a coversation with some friends and they were making the same observation. They were saying that outside in the villages the mood is still this close where being family means something. Remember, that in Nepal members of the joint family were seen as 'aafno.' Now, people even in the nuclear family seem estranged.
 
I think the political situation also has a lot to do with this. Back when I was growing up in Nepal in the 80's, everyone had a respect/fear relationship with the Monarchy. No one could completely identify the true nature of where the Royal's power ended. They seemed to have a hand in everything. Before people relied on connections with Royalty, either directly or indirectly through knowing someone in the Panchayat system. I grew up hearing about relatives and families who spoke against the Royalty being harassed by the CID. In many ways, this fear/respect relationship with the Monarchy brought the rest of us 'common Nepalese' togethor. We had a common deity/enemy to simultaneously respect and hate.  I feel that a lot of people during the Panchayat era were torn between trying to position themselves in such a way as to curry the favors of the powers that be better...while simultaneously hating the Monarchy for being a road block to freedom.

Now that the Shah Monarchy and the Panchayat system has been dismantled, the bastions of power are more decentralized, in flux, and chaotic. Today, many business have privatised and politics (atleast in name) is in the hands of the people who are not royalty. Of course in the same way that once the British left India, another monarchy of the Nehru/Indira Gandhi dynasty began, I wonder what kind of a new Royalty that Nepal will be under now that the Shah Royalty has been abolished. The Koiralas? The Maoists? Think about it, in Russia in many ways, once the Czar was removed, the communists established themselves with the power of the Russian Monarchy. And they managed to do it in the name of the people.
So in many ways I feel that the Nepali people have become more competitors in trying to define the power vacuum that the Shah Monarchy had once defined. Though in name we say so, sometimes I wonder if the revolutions we fought in years past was really so that we the people could get a democracy. Sometimes when I read the news and observe what is going on in Kathmandu, it doesn't seem so. When I look at the business world, mood in families, and in politics, it almost seems that we each are fighting with other Nepalese so we can establish ourself as the new monarchy. I wonder if it is that mood of competition that now permeates Kathmandu. I wonder if it is that that pits brother against brother, cousin against cousin and friend against friend. Perhaps it is this mood that is preventing us from working togethor to achieve the goals that we strive as a nation and a people despite us, in name, calling ourselves a democracy. 

If you are trying to be a writer; please dont.

Pichas,
If you're trying to offer constructive criticism, try again.

My observations-
1. Even the villages have changed significantly.
During  my  high school time  (after 2-4 years of 2046 Revolution), there were 4 high schools in my district. Now it has grown up
like a high school in one VDC. It has definitely increased the competitiveness of people of the places and brought a significant change.
Opening of highschools have changed some scenario in employment oppurtunities in educated youths.

2. In kathmandu, in my time (5 years ago), only TU, central department was offering Masters degree in certain subject of natural science (90 people/per year). Now there at least 5-6 colleges offering masters degree in natural science (like physics,chemistry etc...) . It is a BIG Jump in my point of view. And many more private colleges are coming with similar agenda... yes definitely the competitiveness has increased. More people are getting access to higher education and yes definitely we are moving forward.
There are many employment oppurtunities like in bank, private schools , plus twos and community owned high schools and colleges.
I think, when we have more educated people, they will come up with new ideas in business, agriculture, education etc....
3. If political corruption can be abolished and governemnt comes with vision, in next 50 years (in our life time) we will not see present day Nepal. 

Looks like all the words are trying to kill each other , and the fancy words just suffocates the sentences even more who are questioning each others existence..

You know Srijana, I agree with you.
I think that the more opportunity we get, we tend to strive away from each other. On the other hand, hardship tends to bring us togethor. 
I think your observation is correct. The more educational and business opportunities we have received both in Kathmandu and the villages has tended to encourage people to 'go it alone.' Of course that in itself is not necessarily a bad thing. Perhaps because of the new opportunities, we Nepalese, as a people, are finally learning to individually exercise our independence. Perhaps because we are so new at doing it, we haven't learned how to do it in a mature way. Perhaps we are so excited about our new found independence that we get carried away: we are a lot more interested at how much we can individually achieve, even at the expense of other Nepalese. Perhaps it is this that we are seeing in business, politics and in the family.

You know, I have seen a similar phenomenon in the Bhutanese refugees coming from Nepal. In 2008, when these Bhutanese refugees first came to my city in the United States, they all seemed so disoriented. They saw themselves as victims. They were confused and didn't know how to conduct themselves in the US. They all seemed to gravitate to each other for security, a sense of identity, a common culture, etc. But slowly since then, the youngsters amongst those Bhutanese refugees have started to get jobs. They saw the opportunity that is here in the US. So I have been slowly observing that since 2008, a lof of families have been 'going alone.' They have moved out of the government housing that they were initially kept in. They are realizing how to develop skills and to take advantage of the opportunities the US has to offer. I see that they are less and less bound by their identity as Bhutanese refugees. Instead, they are more identifying themselves as immigrants in the United States who have a lot more opportunities to take advantage of.

I think Nepal is going through a similar thing. Since Nepalese are less reliant in the bureacratic system of a centralized Panchayat government, there is a lot more opportunity for proving yourself. I think that Nepalese are more fixated in understanding how to develop themselves individually so that they can take advantage of and be competitive in a globalized world. Perhaps, we as a culture feel less of a need to be as reliant on friends and family like we did in the past. Perhaps we are becoming more self-reliant...but sometimes we become self-reliant at the expense of other Nepalese. 
 

 pichas at least somebody is trying here, well what about you, can you write something like this.i hate this kind of nepali people this attitude of nepali people makes me sick.

@rajendra gu laal
You can write anything but dont expect anyone to read and like what you write. Why are you being a "kiss up" chaplus bhancha ni.. Kathmandu is a part of Nepal . And what is there to like ? Looks like a memoir of a mentally defunct person . Well politics in Nepal has affected the whole country and not just kathmandu. And noone is against each other it's just time. People are more educated, they know more than what our forefathers knew and they like to be independent. But your author is just using some fancy words and expressions to make it look it nice. And what about the example of bhutanese refugee? What does that have to do anything with the situation of kathmandu or Nepal?
I can only question your intellect who is saying that the above written words were good . And don't even get me started on the Nepali mentality thing... ... I can tell you exactly where you come from ; typical bhede mentality, aafno, samaj sujh bujh chaina jalle j bhanyo tei ramro

Yeah I didn't like any of those things your friend said. He is just jotting down facts and nothing more which everyone knows. There is nothing to it.
Reading the whole thing was painful.
Peace

Pichas,
Do you think there is any hope for me to improve my writing in this lifetime?