Hi
I have been living in Nz for ten yrs came here when i was 16 with my parents. Now my parents want me to go back and do an arranged marriage. I havenot been to nepal after i have come here and I feeel like i have become more of a kiwi. I am getting confused about how I may be able to get married to a guy whom i have never met, talked or known. But my parents say that this is a common thing for nepalese. Its not that i am against arranged marriage but i don't think i can do it. Some of my cousins have done it and they are happy with it. But then again everyone is different. If i want to go there to get married i have to leave my job and career. My father is a very traditiopnal minded person and believes that a woman is not complete wityhout marriage. I am siongle so it has become even easier for them to pester me into marriage.I however would like to settle down with somebody here if I can find someone but at present there is no guy in hte horizon and I want to take it slow. Perhaps I may not even get married who knows!! I don't want to rush into arranged marriage because there are many arranged marriages that look really good on hte sutrface but inside many problems are there. Every day my parents tell me you will be all alone!! Marriage is a natural thing. You will get old. these are some of the common things they say. the problemis i don't even know who to and talk to I can't go and talk about my problems with a white person or counselers cause this is a completely cultural issue. So ai have been carrying this load in my head all day long. My parents will never understand me. Should I leave my house or do as they tell me to.
thanks

No. Don't do that. You will miserble and you will ruin somebody else's life along with yours. If you are lucky you might find a right person in first time but the chances are slim. You have been here for a while already and the nepali guys back home think differently. I am not saying they are bad but it's just different. You worked hard to settle down here already and you should not give up everything here to get married. Marriage is important in life but it's important to be happy too. There are lots of educated and good hearted nepali guys in US. Why don't you ask your parents to find somebody in US. That way you could meet the person and marry the right person.

don't get scared with the name of 'arranged marriage'. the cases depend on individual basis, that's why prolonging courtship might be a good idea; do some googling on arranged marriage; u'll come to know alot abt it; specially search inside blogs.

Tell your parents that YOU AREN'T READY YET!!! if they don't understand then WARN them about the consequences... =)

hey US,
let me tell you there are thousands of people having arranged marriage every year not just in nepal but everywhere.It does work out for most of them. be it arranged or love it depends on how u handle your relationship u cannot be sure that their will be no problems even if you wait and go for love marriage. The most important thing here is your age and other factors that you need to consider. depends on how old are you. if you ve got the age then you should just wait untill you find some one if not then id say going for arranged marriage will would be a good decision. besides, you will definitely get to see the guy talk to him and that will make you feel better. The fact that the marriage is arranged or love is not an issue its about how you live it , its about understanding, giving space to each other, caring , forgiving, and so forth.

hey us,

You've been in this country for ten years. i'm sure you are able to make up your mind on this situation all by your self. if you think you will be happier finding someone on your own then do it... you're living in the us you have the right to decide whats best for you...your parents arent the ones who have to spend the rest of thier lives with the guy. I'm not saying you should'nt respect your parents but the thing is its about YOUR future and you should be the one to make that choice...
Good Luck

US dear, one think I can tell you that your confused or ambiguous mind can't make decision apparently. You must clean up your confused mentality. Had you been able to fixed your mentality yourself, you would not have come for advices for sure on the Saja forum. You made the right decision to share your feelings and unloading the distraught you have been going through with us. We really appreciate for your courtesy courage.

Lets get to the point. I sincerely believe that you should customize your desires and needs. First contemplate issue such as love marriage against arranged marriage. Identify the strength and weakness on both love and arranged marriage subjects.

I understand that you have been too busy on spending time to build and develop your Career and Job. From Career and Job perspective, you may be in at your pinnacle but lets not forget about the emotional happiness that is related to family relationship (parents, siblings and relatives) and getting married with loving, caring, understanding, affectionate, loyal, trustful, respectful husband. Since you are 26 yrs old, your parents migth think of you getting older in Nepal but not old for a guy who lives in NZ or US.

If you think, you barely got chance in the NZ for meeting the quality man, and then welcome to AMERICA. We have got tons of quality bachelor in the US. Clean up the mess in your head first before deciding for very serious life commitment issue. Good luck US.

I Think So

You can do whatever you want if you are not a pussy. If you are a pussy, you can kiss my royal ass. Do you think anybody here gives a shit about your situation.
I kick ass. I rule.

hahahahhahaha

HEY HEY HEY............WHAT'S GOING ON!

PRA "There are lots of educated and good hearted nepali guys in US." DAT'S ME
I THINK SO "We have got tons of quality bachelor in the US." DAT'S ME