Those that have regarded as curious the mythical story of the five Paandava brothers having been married to a single Draupadi, may find this kind of story re-lived in parts of mountainous Nepal to this day. For, over a large area of the Nepal Himalayas, fraternal polyandry is as much a reality today as are the Himalaya mountains themselves. In this type of polyandry, the wife comes to live with a group of brothers in their house, as distinguished from the matriarchal polyandry, where she may remain in her own house and the husbands come to visit her by turns. Property under the fraternal polyandry, in its turn, passes from father to son, and not, as in the case of the other type, down the uterine line.
Among the Dolpos (people living in the Dolpa district), for example, brothers are usually said to marry a common wife, no matter what the number of brothers there be. In some rare cases, even two friends have been seen living with a common wife. The Manangbas, another tribe that has got its name from the Manang Bhot (now District) in the mountains of north-west Nepal, are also said to practice a similar polyandry.
The Sherpas, famous the world over as sturdy mountain-climbers, are said to present a slight variation in theme, in the sense that, amongst them, just two brothers, and not more, may marry a common wife; if there are four of them, the third and the fouth take another joint wife.
Interestingly, two such brothers may even go out together in the same wedding procession to the bride's house and take part jointly in the rituals, thereby establishing equal rights over the wife and their own parental property.
The Rai people, mostly inhabiting the eastern Nepal hills, are said to practice what in technical jargon is known as junior levirate and junios sorrorate; it means that a Rai youngman may marry his elder brother's widow, his own deceased wife's younger sister or his wife's brother's daughter. A Satar or a Dhimal youngman of eastern Nepal terai, in his turn, in not averse to marrying his elder brother's widow either.
Turning again to the Sherpas, younger brothers are even said to consider it a matter of their birthright to 'inherit' the elder brother's wife; a young damsel, in her turn, may lay claim to the hand of her deceased elder sister's husband ! And, in the latter case, should the widower have some other girl in mind as his second wife, custom demands that he take a formal permission from his younger sister-in-law.
The Barhagaunley people living in the Thak and Mustang areas adjacent to Manang are also said to practice fraternal polyandry, but, in their case, only the eldest brother needs to go through the formalities of marriage proper, the younger ones joining in later as and when they come of age.
Absolute freedom in the choice of mates is also taken for granted amongst many other Nepali tribes such as the Gurungs and Tamangs. In order to create a suitable environment for the purpose, the Gurungs of mid-western Nepal hills have devised a unique institution in some of their villages - the Rodi Ghar, which, in other words, means a village youngster' club.
Young girls of marriageable age, attending such 'clubs' in the evenings, may even make a night-long affair of their repartees, in song and dance, with the visiting youngmen, generally under the surveillance of elderly club-keepers known as Chivaas, Rodi Ammaas ('Mothers') and the like. The girls, it is said, are expected to provide liquors and other food-delicacies, while the boys help defray the expenses.
People in a Tamang village may also go to the extent of organising an annual festival known as Dyokyaapsi, in autumn; such festivals, when organised, are marked with get-togethers between the village young men and women of marriagevble age. They are said to spend five nights at a stretch together. Any affair the participants may have had on such occasions hardly, if ever, prejudices the prospects of their future marital ties with someone else!
"Unhampered by the trammels of caste", writes one authority, "the Gurkha women of the hill districts enjoy a far greater measure of freedom than is allowed to their sisters in the Indian plains; they are able to take an interest in life and what's going-on around them in a manner more approximating to that of the women of Europe". Is he very far from the truth, dear readers? You be the judge!
http://nepalicreation.blogspot.com/2007/08/how-many-husbands.html
To rely on tradition and social pressure to counteract basic instincts like anger, jealousy, possesiveness doesn't usually work well for long IMO
