Interesting article for single guys
How do you break the touch barrier with a girl you like? It's difficult to know when to reach out, and when you're going too far. Some girls won't warn you that you're getting too close, and you might discover - the hard way - that you've accidentally crossed the line and made her feel uncomfortable. Fortunately, this article has all the steps you will need to know how to break that touch barrier without being stuck in the "friend zone" which is hard to escape!
Steps
Pay Attention to Her
-
1
Gauge her interest. Do you think she might want to be touched by you? Is she making eye contact? Is she smiling, laughing and having a good time? If so, you're on the right track.
-
2
Look at the way she looks at you. If she likes you, she will either hold your gaze for a long time or pull away immediately. Either of these signs could mean that she likes you. If you happen to glance at the girl and you see her staring back at you, then this means that she likes you, although she may quickly dart her head in a different direction. If she pulls away quickly, it could mean she is nervous but still likes you.
-
3
Assess her personality. If she's outgoing and friendly, there is less of a chance she will be upset or taken aback if you try to touch her. If she's shy or more reserved, you may want be more certain she is into you before you touch her.
Be a Gentleman
-
1
Look for opportunities to break the touch barrier in a chivalrous way when you are together.
-
2
Hold her jacket out. If you're both about to leave and she needs to put on a jacket or coat, hold it out for her like a gentleman so that she can slip her arms into the sleeves. The knuckles of your fingers will probably gently brush up against her as you're doing this. If she responds positively and you notice that her hair is between her jacket and her back, carefully pull it out for her.
-
3
Offer your hand. This is especially helpful when she might need to keep her balance, such as when she's getting into or out of a car, or when she's stepping over a puddle or any other uneven surface. Girls love this because it shows that you are thinking of her and not just yourself. This is more likely to be appropriate if she's dressed nicely or wearing heels.
-
4
Hold out your arm for her to hold. This will serve as an invitation for her to hook her arm around yours, especially if you're about to walk together. This is a classically romantic way to walk as a couple without being too touchy-feely.
-
5
Ladies first. Open the door for her and allow her to go first through doors, corridors or small crowds. A nice, firm gesture would be to press with your hand just above her waist, towards the door (or corridor), while saying "after you." Other spots to press would be the back of the arm, just above the elbow (especially recommended if she is wearing short sleeves), or very softly and cautiously on the shoulder.
-
6
Lead the way. If you're about to go through a large crowd, hold out your hand so you can walk through the crowd without losing each other. This not only shows that you care about her, but it also shows that you can take the lead. Once you're out of the crowd, you can continue holding her hand (if she seems to want to).
Notice Something About Her
-
1
Look for anything that may be on her face or hair. It's not uncommon to see a loose eyelash on someone's face, especially the cheek area. If you see one, tell her, "Hold still. You have an eyelash on your face. Let me get it off." Pull it off her face very gently. Don't apply too much pressure, especially if she's wearing make-up. Do the same thing if you see something in her hair like a piece of lint or a ball of dust.
- You can also lie. Say that she has something in her hair, even if she doesn't actually have anything there, and break the touch barrier this way.
- If you want to slyly arrange an opportunity, you could take her somewhere where you know she'll probably get something in her hair, like a dusty attic or a part of the woods with low trees.
- With anything that's on her face or hair that might be embarrassing (like a piece of food), you'll need to decide whether or not to do this. Some women will be mortified and others will find it humorous.
-
2
Notice something on her hands or hair. Does she have a different ring, a new haircut or a different nail color? Acknowledge it verbally ("That's a pretty ring" or "Did you get a new nail color?"). Hold out your hand, palm up, and ask if you can look closer. Inspect whatever is different, and ask a question or make a positive comment.
- While you're doing all of this, get a feel for how she responds to having her hand in yours. After she has responded to your comment or question, briefly rub her hand with your thumb gently and let it go. Smile and quickly move on, but be careful not to appear creepy.
-
3
Keep her warm. If it's chilly outside and you notice that she's cold or shivering, offer her your coat. Put it around her. Depending on how comfortable she feels around you, you might take your hands and brush them briskly on her upper arms to generate a little heat. If you notice that her hands are cold, tell her to give you her hands and put them together (palm to palm). Put your hands around hers and rub them softly, but quickly to warm her hands up. If you're feeling daring, bring her hands up to your mouth and blow a little warm air on them. (This may, in the long run, make her hands colder. Also, don't do this if there's any risk that your breath is bad!)
-
4
Notice her actions. If she responded positively to all of the above, make your next move (or risk forever being trapped in the "friend" zone). That could be putting your arm around her shoulder or waist, or holding her hand. The back of the neck and the small of the back are two sensitive areas too.
-
5
Notice when she's not interested. If she isn't responding positively to these actions, simply back away. It doesn't necessarily mean she's not interested. She could just be in a bad mood or feeling tired. However, if you've tried this more than once and get the same response, she likely isn't interested in being touched by you.
Avoid Risky Behaviors
-
1
Don't approach a girl and give her a shoulder massage, even if she complains about being sore or tired. It's not necessarily an invitation to get massaged by you. Even if it might be, don't risk it unless you're confident that you're reading her correctly. It can make a girl very uncomfortable to be receiving a massage from someone she doesn't fancy, and you're putting her in an awkward position where she has to ask you to stop.
-
2
Avoid grabbing any part of her arm with your hand and pulling her to come somewhere with you. At best, this can be interpreted as annoying. At worst, it can come off as an attempt to yank her around. Generally, any kind of pulling or tugging might be interpreted as immature or pushy.
-
3
Avoid touching her breasts, and lower areas of her body. These are usually only acceptable if you are already romantically involved, as these are considered sexual areas. When you are dancing, place your arm around her back to lead her. Do not allow your hands to slide down to the lower part of her body at any time unless you want to end up with a slap in the face. Don't grope or squeeze.
Try Duo Sports
-
1
Dancing. Any kind of partner dancing, such as salsa, tango or swing can be a good way to break the touch barrier. Keep in mind, however, that just because she seems to be having a good time dancing with you doesn't necessarily mean she likes you off the dance floor. It's certainly a start though.
-
2
Ice skating. Ice skating is a great activity for casual physical contact. You can hold her hand to help keep her from falling if she isn't quite getting the hang of it, or to help each other skate backwards. In the cold environment, you may also have the opportunity to help her keep warm with a hug or encircling her with your jacket.
-
3
Tennis. Have her as your doubles partner. There will be plenty of opportunities to high-five and playfully touch her after a good shot.
-
4
Any sport where the equipment requires you to hold her from behind. For example, riding tandem on a motorcycle, sitting on an inner tube or sled going down a snow hill, parachute jumping in tandem, etc. There are plenty of sporting opportunities for this closeness to be imposed on both of you!
Tips
- Always try to have clean, dry hands. If she gets a whiff of the onions you were cutting a few hours earlier, that's not good. If you tend to get clammy hands, carry a dry paper towel in your pocket and use it right before you touch her. Avoid having cold hands, as this will startle her. If this has happened, address the situation with a joke, as this can help break the ice.
- Some people don't like being touched, especially when you are on a first date. Take it slow or your relationship might end before it starts.
- Some women are uncomfortable with being touched until you enter into a relationship. If you are at all interested in seeing her again, take it easy and move slow or you will scare her off.
- Even the most suave "touch moves" won't work if she's bored or uninterested. Keep the conversation lively and make sure you're both having fun.
- Cracking a joke that's just inappropriate enough to make her slap you on the arm, but appropriate enough to make her laugh at the same time will trick her into touching you. However, these kinds of remarks are high-risk and can get you in hot water among people who are sensitive. Try this at your own risk.
Warnings
- While you might think you're playing it safe and being respectful by not touching her unless she touches you first, you might end up in the friend zone, which is hard to escape. For many people, a big distinction between "friendship" and "relationship" is the way they touch each other. There are more platonic ways to touch someone. Learn to read body language and if you see a signal in her body language or expression telling you to back off, then respect her boundaries and her feelings by refraining from making further contact.
- Different cultures have different degrees of receptiveness to physical contact. In Korea, holding hands is a very big deal and hugging or kissing someone in public used to be considered unacceptable. However, doing the same thing in Latin America is taken for granted. In Bulgaria, giving a girl a goodbye hug is just as normal as shaking hands in other places. Know the cultural context and respond accordingly.
- Shortly after initiating some form of physical contact, if she says that she has to go soon or needs to use the bathroom, then she may not have appreciated the gesture or found it uncomfortable. In some cases, she might be shy after having physical contact with you so you have to be really sure before continuing into more intense physical contact.
- Note that some people are very affectionate with their friends. A girl might be all about cuddling with you and think she's just being friendly, while you feel like you're getting mixed signals.
- Don't overdo it! Some girls will find over-the-top chivalry annoying and perhaps even rude!
|
This may come in 2nd to my holy bible.
