Hi all,

I am in difficult situation. My wife's cousin are staying with us on and off for more than a year. We have been doing most of the grocery, paying for the water bill, electricity and rent of the house. Since, cousins don't work we have not been telling them yet to contribute for anything. But I think now it is just too much. It is not easy even for us to pay all the bills and we have been paying all, even the bills have been doubled yet. My wife does not say anything to them for contribution but I think she should. Please suggest what I can do in this situation. 

Grow a pair of something something and talk to them the way they deserve. If they're inconsiderate enough that they don't care about you, you shouldn't really care about what they think either. It's easier said than done but you have no other choice. 

First try to find a job.
I heard Indian consutancy provide free training and also help to find a job , what ever percentage they keep in pocket , something in hand is better than nothing. 

Plan for a family movie night this friday and bring home a dvd of "Atithi, tum kab jaoge?" Watch it with them, they will get a hint.

I agree with Riddle's take. They should've understood it aint Nepal. Tell them it's been fun and all, but that they need to move. If it's hard to grow a pair as suggested, tell them your relatives are coming from Nepal soon and you need space for them. Once they move, don't mention this or just say they postponed and are coming 2 weeks later. Keep doing it, they will get the hint.

लबस्तरा र थेत्तराको कुनै औसधि हुँदैन |
भैरब अर्यालको एउटा व्यंग विधामा : सम्धीलाई भगाउन बुढा बुढी कुटा कुट गर्छन,  सम्धी बाहिरीए पछि बुढीले भनिन मा कस्तो रु ए जस्तो गरे , बुढो भन्छ मैले कस्तो कुटे जस्तो गरे, अनि सम्धी जी पनि टुप्लुक्क तुप्लिकिदै थप्छन , म पनि कस्तो गए जस्तो गरे !

 the serious thread is trending out to be a funny with the funny statement but situation nai testo cha k garne. .
kiddo's suggestion is funny but i find it practical too. 
i think the bottomline of the suggestion is you need to let your guests know that they need to leave. you might approach in a direct way or indirect, BUT YOU NEED TO LET THEM KNOW.

मित्र तपाईको बुढीलाई ठिकै लागेको छ भने तपाई मात्र टेन्सन नलिनुस | आखिर घर उनको पनि हो क्यारे | बिचार बेरोजगार होलान cousin , भबिस्यमा कुनै न कुनै रुपमा तिर्चन | होइन तपाइलाई उनीहरु बसेर सारै नै ट्याप ट्याप पर्यो आर्थिक स्थितिले भने पहिला बुढी लाई मनौनुस अनि कुरा गर्न लागौनुस , आफैले कुरा गर्दा कस्तो लुच्चा ज्वाई/भिनाजु रैछ भन्लान |

अनि गोर्खेले के भनेको पहिलो कमेन्ट मा ? जागिर कसलाई खोज भनेको ? हाम्रो मित्रको cousin लाई ? अनि joke चै निकै घत पर्ने खालको छ |

cousin लाई साझा.com को बारेमा भन्दिए हुन्छ नि , बरु हामी यहाँ यो thread लाई बेला बेलामा कमेन्ट ठोकेर top मा राखिदिउला |

 Barcaman,
I am sorry to hear about your situation. I am not an expert on the family matter but I would like to share my thoughts. First of all, what do the cousins do? I meant are they student? Based on your descriptions they are either students or lazy bumps. If they dont work and don't really do anything, approach them and let them know what you think. If they are students, I would be considerate. We are brought up on a society where one relative cares another. You can consider it as a favor for him/her. Do you rent more space just because of the cousins? If not, I would not worry much. About groceries, its usually not that much difference if you shop for 2 or 3 persons. 

You should be having this discussion with your wife than here in sajha. No matter she likes or not, its what you think and you have to let her know. You can't let this thing bug you and create a rift between you and your wife. Who knows the cousin or his/her parents have helped a lot to your wife n her family and she feels obliged? The point is you need to know the feelings and thoughts of your wife in this matter. Talk to her coz you both have share the same house and belongs to both of you.

Good luck man and get it resolved! 

It is a difficult situation but if they have no job and are not earning, how can they contribute. Did they try looking for a job?. As a relative, you should help them but at the same time also persuade them to find an odd job. Your wife should ask them to find a job and you can assist them. 

It is better to go back to Nepal if they cannot find a job. But you can discuss this in a nice way over dinner or something. I hope things end well for you guys.  

Totally agree with busenitz.
If he/she is student/teenager then I think even its difficult for you, you should consider of helping them.
But you mentioned he/she has been living "on and off" with your family. why is there irregularities? and for how long each time in average?

Above all, if they are in trouble of not finding job or having some hard times, never let them feel that you are turning your back.

Good Luck..

त्यसलाई गाह्रो छ भने त यसो help selp गर्नु पर्यो नि मित्र . कुनै support जसलाई पनि चाहिन्छ

हैन त्यो मुज़ी काम नलाग्ने पशु नै छ भने त, एउटा animal circus ले येसो characters खोज्दै छ भन्ने सुनेको छु

लोल

I know you are stressed...so..