Saathi haruko nepali wedding ko barema ke opinion cha?. Ke sabai nepali keta keti harulai grand wedding mann parcha?. My opinion is that too much money is wasted in marriage ceremony. Boy and girl get married, invite hundreds of well nourished people and give them a buffet. Would it not be better to donate that money to charity or use it to feed the hungry?. After all a wedding is union of 2 hearts so why is it necessary to show off?. I know people talk of samaj mah dekhaunu paryo etc but what is the spiritual benefit of such a thing?. Whereas i know many rich people out there and they can afford it, so is it all about affordability?. Do all girls seek a grand wedding?. Do all guys seek a grand wedding?. As for me when the time comes, i just want to get married in mandir with close relatives present. The money i would have spent on the wedding, i would spend it to feed the poor, buy clothes for the poor etc. Would this wedding be any less than a normal wedding?. HAs anyone out there chosen to get married differently even they could afford a grand wedding?. This is purely for discussion and not to put those who opt for a grand wedding into bad light. At the end of the day it is personal choice. My intention is not to offend anyone but open a topic for discussion.

 First of all, nice topic to discuss about.
I've a gf and will be getting married in a year or so in Nepal. Hence, sometimes we talk about how our wedding would be or need to be. We both are from the middle class family and both agree on we should not be spending much on the wedding stuffs which is just a glittery of one/two days. She even has given me some ideas about how to be more time and money efficient during the wedding.She and her family wants to go through almost all the tradition but everytime with the limited expense. I think we can be spending less money if we invite limited number of people on any event and not spending unnecessary money on the lots of foods.
I was told that there are lot of places in Nepal where you can finish the wedding, the party and event post party event like mukh herne (or somthing like that) in one day at a same place. I think that's a good thing for anyone who wants to save money and time.

 i want grand wedding, its like biggest celebration of life, so spend lots of money, people celebrates, dashin, christmas, birthday nicely even its comming every year , wedding comes just once in life . you are wasting in many ways, use small tv and save electricity, dont bath daily to save water, dont drink wine, dont go to movie, dont celebrate christmas, dont buy branded clothes.. some people may find this as waste but they are not for me.

i have a similar opinion. In the end, what matters most is only the good deeds that you've done, not how much you spent. If we all engage in low-cost marriage, we would make path easier for others too. Especially, the low-income/middle class could be inspired to adopt it. Marriage is a big thing these days. People , esp girl's side have to suffer so much when they don't have enough money. An ideal marriage for me would be: dowry-free, feeding the hungry inspite of our relatives, (could do small get-together at home with relatives instead). Our marriage should give a positive message to the society. Marriage is a sacred thing after all, not a show-stage for pomposity and pride.

 Life मा एक चोटि मात्र बिहे गरिन्छ. गरे पछि झम झम बाजा बजाएर गर्ने नि. Memorable  पनि हुन्छ .  कत्ति महान बन्नु के जिन्दगीमा! 
तर घाँटि हेरेर हाड निल्नुपर्छ। अरुले घोडा चाड्यो भनेर आफुले चैँ धुरी चड्नहुन्न।  

Nice  to read through the replies. Some of nepalis are at least willing to beat the trend. At the end of the day it doesnt matter whether you spend 100k, 1000k, it does not mean your marriage will be successful, it does not guarantee a happy life. It is also not true marriage is only once in a lifetime thingy, elizabeth taylor had 8 husbands. Some nepalese i know also got married at least twice.

I was curious to know about the opinion of people who are getting married as mostly grand wedding is a concept imposed on us by society. Parents also feel an obligation to arrange a grand wedding for the children. We are the new generation. We have ideas that might disagree with the prevailing trend. I know some people would be thinking along these lines, i hope this thread will encourage those people. Someitmes one find happiness in company. When you realise others are doing it also it encourages you if you are thinking of doing same.

What good feeding people who are already well fed?. It would be better to feed the homeless and needy in pashupatinath temple and you will get your blessings from them. Those kind if blessings are good for your marriage as it comes from the tummy of a hungry person. Marriage is the union of 2 hearts, and heart is all about caring and loving. Show your love to the world in a unique way towards the less fortunate than you. Dont feed the already well fed!. If you are cash starved, go to a marriage registry and just get a couple friends to witness your marriage. Save the money, put it in FD or something, coz when the time of need comes, this SAMAJ whom you are trying to show will care less when you are down and out!.

 

That story is a good inspiration for people.

I want to do what pleases both sides of the family. Seeing as mostly mero family ma 'arranged dating' bata 'arrange marriage' huncha it means both male and fmale are dating on the basis that they have similar family class and values. "Arrange dating' ko purpose is to make sure that the families are happy with the choices then comes the children ko preference, if you like each other or better fall in love then you the pair  tell their parents they want to get married with one another. Nepali tradition ma hernus alikata dekhauni orni parihalcha. Its family ko izzat, yehi samaj ma jiuni cha ta yehi samaj ko rules batai hinna paryo ni hoina? In the end it is your parents and their brothers and sisters (specially if your mother has sisters) that give advice in how much is ADVISIBLE to spend on these occasions. Dherai garyo bhaney barta huncha- kina garni? Tara thorai garyo bhaney bekar you will only make your parents the talk of the town and your wedding a flop. So I think asking close sanima's and thulima's as to what is a good amount for your family is the way to go.

If it was just a selfish matter of you two alone it would not be a problem. But we are Nepali we have to follow what are elders are used to. Of course you can make it more cost efficient than useal but a general standard within the family should be maintianed. Take hints from cousins marriages, see how their weddings are ani try to stay in the 'aah thikai ramarai wedding thyo' type range.
In Nepali culture unfortunetly samaj is important and so is family, keep them happy and you will have little social hurdles along the way.

It does not have to be grand, but do invite the ones who genueinly care about you. For the one who do not care about you/your family, why would you want to invite them :S?