Artical from David D...enjoy ;))
Have you ever noticed that women don't seem to make sense AT ALL when it comes to "dating"?
What's up with that?
I'm sure you've been in a situation where you really liked a woman, and you did everything "right"... but for some reason she just never felt attracted to you.
You called her often, took her to nice places, bought her gifts, and were a complete gentleman (translation, you didn't try to kiss her, gave her space, etc.)... But nothing seemed to cause her to like you for more than just a "friend".
And I'm sure you've been in a situation where a TOTALLY HOT female friend of yours was dating a complete jerk who was mean and abusive to her... and all she did was tell you about how badly he treats her (and of course she talks about the sex too)... all the while you're sitting there and would do ANYTHING just to have a chance at dating her. Right?
What is going on here?
Why is it that when you're overly nice to a woman in the beginning, it just causes them to be less and less interested? And why is it that jerky guys who mistreat women seem to get laid like Rock Stars, even though they are the WORST possible choice for an attractive woman?
This is a fascinating question to me.
In fact, I've spent the last four or five YEARS thinking about this one and other related questions. It's funny, because when you first ask a question like this one, you can come up with some "OK" answers. But now that I've taken the time to REALLY think about it, research it, and look DEEPER into the topic, I've realized and found some FASCINATING answers. But more importantly, I've come up with ways that any guy can take advantage of the secrets that "jerks" use to attract women... without having to be abusive.
OK, so let's talk about some of these concepts that I've been working on.
I can remember when I used to call women all the time, take them out, and generally show them that I was VERY interested in them when I first met them. I was REALLY a "nice" guy. And you can guess what happened. Exactly...
They would always be nice to me, say that they appreciated what I had done, and accept my calls... BUT I NEVER SENSED THAT THEY FELT ANY KIND OF
ATTRACTION FOR ME. Something just never felt quite right. I always felt this little tension... as if the woman KNEW that I was interested, but for some reason THAT VERY FACT was the thing that kept her from feeling the same in return. It was as if the more I tried to get a woman to like me, the less she would. IT JUST DIDN'T MAKE SENSE!
Why wouldn't a woman choose to like me when I was such a nice guy?
Was it my looks? Or the fact that I didn't make a lot of money? Or that I didn't have a nice car? Well, I've since realized something.
Women don't CHOOSE at all who they are attracted to?cause ATTRACTION ISN'T A CHOICE.
Attraction is something that happens virtually on its own... WITHOUT ANY CONSCIOUS DECISION AT ALL. Most people have a hard time accepting the idea that they're not in control of themselves. I just read in a marketing book today that some experts estimate that over 95% of ALL decisions aren't made consciously. In other words, less than 5% of all the "decisions" that people make were ALREADY MADE FOR THEM by their minds, and they're just trying to pretend that it was their idea!
Well, when it comes to women and ATTRACTION, things are no different. Ask a woman why she's attracted to a certain guy, and she'll answer "Oh, he's such a sweetheart" or "He's really a great guy" or whatever. I personally believe that if you could get a woman to stop and think about it for a minute, the REAL answer would be something like "I have no fricking idea whatsoever. I just feel an emotion that makes me crave being with him, and then I justify it with my mind so I can EXPLAIN it to myself and everyone else so I don't sound crazy." Whoa. That's heavy.
But if you take a look around, it's not NEARLY as heavy as REALITY. Think about all of the women you've known who were smart, attractive, and interesting.
Now think about all of those women who dated abusive, insensitive losers who did nothing but take from them... and how the women just dealt with it and kept dating them.
WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?
Well, the answer is somewhat complex. A combination of evolutionary pressures, cultural and religious programming, and the magical way the mind works creates a very unique and interesting puzzle. But let me tell you one thing about this puzzle. When you're first learning how to be successful with women and dating, you must put aside all of your past ideas and conditioning for awhile.
You have to pretend that you don't know ANYTHING about how women work... and play a little game. Instead of doing what you THINK should work, try
doing what ACTUALLY works. When you have this mindset, you'll TRY different
things, JUST TO SEE WHAT WORKS. Instead of saying "Oh, that won't work", just try it. I was out with a good friend of mine one time. We were at the mall walking around, and I was showing him how easy it is to meet women. We went into a fancy store, and walked up to a girl who was selling makeup. He started a conversation with her, and I watched. She was laughing, and he was doing fine.
But you know that point in a conversation with a woman where you both know that something needs to happen? She needed to get back to work, and he needed to either move on or ask for her information. So I walked over and said "Here, let me see your hand" (she had her left hand in her pocket, and we couldn't see if she had a wedding band on).She took her hand out, and I looked at it. Sure enough, she had a ring on her finger. But it didn't look like a wedding band to me. So I pointed at it and said "So does this ring mean something? Or is it just to ward-off dumb asses?" She started laughing.
Here's the good part...
I looked at my friend and said OUT LOUD "See, that's how you find out if she's single. I've got a line for everything..." and I laughed. Then we asked her if she had a card, and made fun of her for not having an email address... of course, my friend walked away with her info. Now, the funny part of this story is that most guys would CRINGE if they even THOUGHT of saying something like "See, that's how you find out if she's single..." etc. right to a woman's face. But she found the humor and arrogance quite funny and charming. What I'm trying to say is that you need to put aside your ideas about what women respond to when it comes to ATTRACTION... and start doing what WORKS, instead of what you THINK SHOULD WORK.
Remember, WOMEN DON'T MAKE SENSE.
If you keep trying to think about it and get them to make sense in your mind, you're going to keep going in circles and chasing your tail. Success with women really comes down to learning a new way to think about women, then combining it with the actual techniques that cause women to feel that magical emotion called ATTRACTION. Once you start using the techniques in the real world, in real situations, you start to get a FEEL for how this whole thing works. And once you start to see how successful you can be, it encourages you to start doing more "illogical" things. One of the things I'd like to mention here is that I take several HOURS to explain how and why these UNCONSCIOUS things are taking place, and how to not only overcome your own personal fears and limitations, but how to understand what's going on inside of a woman... and those things that cause a woman to feel an UNCONTROLLABLE ATTRACTION.
