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dynamite
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Posted on 10-18-09 11:32
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I just wanted to share a poem written by me a long time back (probably when i was in my seventh grade:) Hope you all will enjoy it. गन्धयहाँ जता ततै गन्धै गन्ध छ एता धुलो गनाउछ उता धुवा गनाउछ घर पसे गरिवी गनाउछ शहर पसे महङ्गी गनाउछ छिमेक पसे अख्तियार गनाउछ गाउ पसे हतियार गनाउछ सदन पसे लामो सम्बोधन गनाउछ मन्त्रालय पसे अनैतिक धन गनाउछ खुलामन्च् पसे झुटो आश्वासअन गनाउछ जंगल पसे बल्दो आन्दोलन गनाउछ प्रहरी कार्यालय पसे अत्यचार गनाउछ अड्डा पसे भ्रस्टाचार गनाउछ विद्यालय पसे महङ्गा किताब को भारी गनाउछ विश्वविद्यालय पसे बेरोजगारी गनाउछ खेत पसे बाझो बारी गनाउछ बजार पसे महँगो तरकारी गनाउछ अस्पताल पसे अव्यवस्था गनाउछ अदालत पसे अड्केको मुद्दा गनाउछ कारखाना पसे मजदुर सोशण गनाउछ युनिअन पसे सस्तो भाषण गनाउछ विमान्स्थल पसे मनपरी भन्सार गनाउछ राष्ट्रिय निकुन्ज पसे कालो तस्कर गनाउछ खाने पानी सन्स्थान पसे मेलम्ची गनाउछ बिद्दुत प्राधिकरन पसे लोड शेडिङ गनाउछ होटेल पसे वेश्याबृत्ती गनाउछ मन्दिर पसे मृत सन्स्कृती गनाउछ गल्ली पसे अनन्त गाडीको लाम गनाउछ राजमार्ग पसे चक्का जाम गनाउछ काठमाडौं पसे यी सबै गन्धहरुको मिश्रन गनाउछ र हामी यही काठमाडौं मा नाक थुनेर बसेक छौ । ।
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santosh1984
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Posted on 10-18-09 12:59
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Eventhough you wrote it in your 7th grade, it still reflects the current situation. A very good one.
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timer
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Posted on 10-18-09 1:21
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Ha Ha Ha, don't keep it up, because it is too late. keep it up, now
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girly_gurl
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Posted on 10-18-09 1:27
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Dynu cha!! its really good... :D as i have said before :p.... keep em coming :D...
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Grace_S
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Posted on 10-18-09 9:02
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Dear Dynamite, Kakshya saatma yesto kabita lekhney ta pakkai pani ahiley dhurandhar kabi bhai sakeyko hunu parcha, ki kaso? :) You sure do have a talent. Keep honing your skills. G'luck! -Grace
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PIGGY
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Posted on 10-19-09 1:16
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Prodigy ho ki ke ho :) very well written poem.
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daum
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Posted on 10-19-09 6:11
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ati ramro ....i LOveeeee it!!!
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Rahuldai
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Posted on 10-19-09 9:09
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डाइनामाइट को यो बिस्फोटक कबिता पढेर मन भित्र धमाकेदार बिस्फोटन भयो । सात पढ्दा यस्तो लेख्ने डाइना ब्रो, ग्रेश ले भने जस्तै " कक्षा सातमा यस्तो कबिता लेख्ने त पक्कै पनि अहिले धुरन्धर कबि भै सकेको हुनु पर्छ, कि कसो?" बडा सुन्दर सिर्जना, लेख्दै गरम ब्रो, मन अल्हादित हुन्छ ।
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serial
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Posted on 10-19-09 9:16
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गज्जब राम्ररी लेखेको छ Well Written Dyna
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Nepe
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Posted on 10-19-09 10:45
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यहाँ दुई पात्रत्वको dichotomy छ – एउटा नाक थुनेर बस्ने ‘हामीहरु' र अर्को दूर्गन्धित ‘तिनीहरु” । मेरो विचारमा यो पृथकता धेरै हदसम्म एउटा भ्रम हो । वास्तविकता के हो भने ‘हामीहरु’ कुनै न कुनै भूमिकामा ‘तिनीहरु’ नै हौं । यो कुरो नलुकोस् ।
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dynamite
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Posted on 10-19-09 6:29
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Thanks all, santosh1984- yup i think it still applies timer- :) its not too late girly_gurl - thanks, ur too sweet Grace_S - unfortunately I stopped writing, so I wonder if I can hone my talent now PIGGY- the prodigy died :( daum- I am glad you loved it, your encouragement keeps me going rahulvai- No match for your talent, but thanks and I am glad you liked it serial- thanks, i write because of readers like you :) Nepe- very good observation, "hami" is a part of "tiniharu", we all stink yet complain about others stinking. And we should go for the remedy of stink rather than putting a mask on. :) Thank you all for liking the poem again. The encouragement motivates me to write again. I am waiting for other constructive and critical responses.
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mickthesick
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Posted on 10-19-09 7:28
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.I agree with Nepe's observation
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ram_bahadur
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Posted on 10-22-09 5:16
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o...ho... mahodaya....yaho ko yo kabita bata sachhai ko sugandha aayo....
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dynamite
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Posted on 10-26-09 2:48
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Thanks for the feedbacks mickthesick and ram_bahadur :)
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brandy
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Posted on 10-26-09 3:33
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Dyno Didin't knew you have such a talent..anyways good work n yes keep it flowing!!!! :)
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Birkhe_Maila
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Posted on 10-26-09 3:36
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ठूल्दाईले भन्नुभए जस्तो 'विष्फोटक!!" राम्रो!
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ritthe
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Posted on 10-26-09 4:03
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Dynamite exploded finally :) nice piece bro, keep it up.
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