There she lay on the terrace of her apartment staring at the stars and
wondered why the stars only glittered at night. The smoke that she was
inhaling was too strong for her, She knew it, I knew it and that one day
the very smoke would take up her life but still she swayed the good
side of her soul to stick up to it and hang on to it.



She claimed she had been through many obstacles in her life but for me
it didn’t seem so. I had met hundreds and thousands of people before her
who claimed to have a far more bitter life than hers but still she
tried to convince me that her life was far more severe and blunt than
anyone else who lived on this planet.



Dazing over the horizon and inhaling the smoke from the well lit
cigarette was the way she always persuaded that she would overcome her
pain but it never worked for her. Every moment she promised within
herself that she would change, change in the manner that she could be
happy and perfect for this cruel and untrustworthy world, change for the
good, for the world but not for the sake of her own self, change in
order to make some friends not for the sake of her well being. I guess
she just wanted to change for the fact that she was already changing.



Maybe I was dumb and ignorant that I could hardly see all the scars and
pain she had been through in her life. There she lay infront of me
crying her pain out loud and shedding tears down her eyes. She didn’t
seem to have any problems at home neither with her boyfriend who lived
thousands of miles away from her. She trusted him and he trusted her or
that is what he claimed to her. I was confused.

I didn’t dare to stand up and bid her farewell but the time was fast
ticking away. I was getting late; I had a train to catch in 20 minutes. I
didn’t care for the first time in my life about me and sat next to her
hoping that at least my company would comfort her from all the cruelty
this world has in to offer for a living being but I was mistaken.



She passed me the cigarette she was smoking and told me to put it out. I
didn’t dare to. I wanted to smoke and share along the pain that she had
within herself. I wanted to share her pain. This wasn’t about me; this
was about the girl who sat next to me in pain: crying.



Those glittery blue eyes didn’t even dare to match up to my eyes. They
were filled with tears which were glittered in presence of the dim moon
light and the glittery stars that were shining upon us.



There she lay shedding her tears.

random Notes:

I persuaded myself I’d be happy. You had taken over my mind
and my soul and I wanted you. I seriously don’t recall what it was about you
that enticed me and I guess I will never know it till I get rid of you.

I bid farewell with a smile and sense of freedom to the tears
and warm hugs which I wanted to run away from. I thought to myself, No more
shall I be strangled in the beliefs and values which make no sense to me, no
more shall I have to convince myself to wake up every morning and make myself believe
that I am wrong.

The bitter arctic weather was a warm welcome, I was alone
and for that I was ecstatic. I was Free, free to be with you. I had heard a lot
about you, I believed I had seen you and finally to get to feel you, it was a
dream come true but where are you? I still can’t find you so what was it that
made me persuade you?

Wow I am confused!!!!!!

 

Random 3:

I always thought of myself as a weird kid, who indulged into
oneself over acts of self contentment and self indulgence. Maybe, this was the
sole reason I believed that the whole world was fake and I was real. Yes!! As weird
and absurd as it may sound this is what I always feared.

I vividly recall walking back from school savoring upon the
gums I had just bought with the money I had saved by almost starving to death
during the school hours. I used to think to myself what if, what if my parents
were robots? , what if all my friends were Martians who all were acting the way
they did to make me feel  I was in a
world with people like myself when in reality I was surrounded by everyone who
were not who they actually were.  What if
what I was living was a dream and what my dream was, was the reality. Yes, I know
sounds funny, told you I was a weird kid but (Yeah maybe I needed some mental
help )
this is what I felt at times.

Thinking about these thoughts brings no more than a smile on
my face these days but what if it is true, what if no one is who they are and
your dreams are sweeter than the reality that you decide to stick up with it?

Haha!!! The wonders of one’s mind 

Random  4:

I am not guilty and never was. I pleaded, cried and crawled
for innocence but to no avail. I was arrested, arrested for something I had never
done, let alone ever even thought about. But, I was put under arrest and
confined within the four walls of the prison.I didn’t require putting up with this for I had not sinned,
I swear I hadn’t. Every person I met, I pleaded for my innocence and so did
they.  They begged and swore for they too believed they hadn't sinned.

If for all were innocence than was I guilty?Was it me who had persuaded and proven my innocence
to myself to prove my self esteem to none other than my own ego when I was guilty? I was bemused, confused but utterly disappointed for now I realized I infact had sinned.

The second one sounds verrry confused, but it is beautiful nevertheless...

i am contributing something of my own... I hope you don't mind the intrusion

inhale,
we met
and loved,
exhale

i let out sighs
at passersby

familiar greetings
endearing lies
endless chitchat
why

do you not call
i wait right here
i understand
that you don't care

these weighted eyes
this baited breath
i wait, i wait
a wasted breath.

:(

is this a smashing pumkins thread? :D ;)

@ Melon_Collie: No problem!!! and what you wrote was far more better than those random notes I wrote umm just thinking abt random stuff.. it's just my random analogy to random things . The second one ...hmmm It's more about my desire and obsession to come here to the States.... lol guess it doesn't make much sense but oh well!! thanks tho...

@subav: Umm sorry I'm pretty dumb.. Whats a smashing pumpkin thread? Umm a 80's band (thts all this lil' mind could think of) :)

OverH G,

Very impressive ones. Thanks for sharing. Your feelings made me like "Damn those things also run in my vains". Waiting for more randoms.

 

-daum

I really liked how u jotted all the feelings down.. I myself feel very confused most of the time..I can relate to wat u are saying .. very nice..keep it comin!!

Wow I felt I was really alone!!!!
haha!!! I knw its friday but still ...  Seriously Guys!!! (and dunno if girls too were involved in the process of replying) but, please!! if u feel its retarded pleaseee let me knowwwww... its just my random thts and random writing...thanks for wasting ure time and going thru it tho

Thanks tho guys!!!!

I just had my lunch outside in a restaurent where they had these big aquariums. There were fishes swimming around here and there inside the water. And, y'know what... coz of you OverH, I gave a 'random thought' about that. Like...  how would their world be like? They might see different faces eating and drinking infront of them.... and they also might wonder what these people do everyday.... don't they have any other stuff to do except eating?

In such a small space..... facing the same other faces (of other fishes inside), passing the same traces.... must be boring out there... like N. Mandella in prison.

However, I did enjoy eating while looking those colorful fishes.

Anyway, I am not a good writer as you but I like all of your random thoughts. Keep posting!!

-daum

Dude!!! Exactly…… haha!!! Mandela Dude!!! I don’t think you

need to go so far to find an analogy. Imagine yourself as a fish in the
aquarium, your aquarium being this world, Maybe, it is a whole lot bigger than
the aquarium you saw while having your lunch but everyday we strive to be FREE…
atleast that is what I look forward to but, these faces and desires of each of
these faces who too strive towards these same desires are like the fished entrapped
within the aquarium fighting for the same source of food.

Dude !!! No one is poor in writing…. AS a matter of fact I suck
… and I mean that… It’s just expressing what one feels like …

Thanks a lot for sharing dude…u too should keep on posting
whtever random thts or msg that evolves within u

Once again thnks dude

(P.S Sorry bu no means am i trying to be a sexist.... dude is just sth that naturally comes up)

Sitting across the isles I ponder upon what was it that I came here looking for? Thinking back onto the moments when all i dreamt was to be sitting across these very isle reading books and staying all night long to fulfill a dream that had never been dreamt of.

I got what I wanted, Those stories that sometimes scared me were very true but I guess I was lucky or may be unlucky as I think of it now that I didn't have to go thru those stories. Like they say Easy comes easy goes...

God... what am I writing...

It is what it is for what it shall cease to
produce shall be the result of what it was but for the fact it's not
always true..... Hopefully!!! All Good things don't come to
an end...... But the END is inevitable for it is the beginning for all to run around in circles......

there she lay .........
thinking
why most of the times we kiss and make up with people ...who actually deserve to be kicked out !