Source: http://www.pcworld.com/article/184999-2/the_20_dumbest_questions_on_yahoo_answers.html
1.
Backward Thinking "I sold my only car to help pay for gas money, but now gas has come
down in price. How do I get my car back?"
I tried to contact this guy, but it turns out that he also sold his
computer to help pay for his Internet connection.
"HOW DO I TURN OFF CAPSLOCK? I ACCIDENTALLY TURNED IT ON YESTERDAY
AND I DONT KNOW HOW TO TURN IT BACK OFF."
Note to self: Register howtoturnoffcapslock.com; make millions.
"I wanted to see if my computer would read my credit card so i put
it in the cd rom and it got stuck, how do i get it out?? I tryed
toothpics but lost them in the process?? also the drive is making
noises"
Oh, that's normal. Your system is just waiting for you to pay the
required $1 processing fee for scanning the card. Simply fold a
greenback into a tiny square and insert it into any USB port.
"My mouse stop working every time i lift it up from the table why
is this? this is not just OS .i have linux and vista both same thing so
its not drivers"
Yeah, no big deal there, either: Insert your credit card into the
CD-ROM drive and tell your computer--slowly and distinctly--that you
need the Air Mouse 3000 upgrade. You'll be good in no time.
"I've been asked to write an application in my own handwriting....?
is there a computer programme that will do this for me? they also want
original ideas. do you know any?"
This reminds me of a letter to the editor I once read years ago:
"Are there any undiscovered islands left in the world?" The response:
"Not that we know of."
"I have an assignment about computer.. What is unimportant details
about computer?"
Wait a minute--does this assignment also require original ideas?
"Am i married in any state? have i been divorced?"
I'll take "questions asked after a night in Vegas" for $500, Alex.
"Where can i buy a really big jar of peanut butter?"
If this is from the same guy who asked the previous question, I'm
getting concerned.
"I have ate two whole tangerines in about two hours what will
happen to me?"
That all depends on whether you swallowed any seeds. If you did, be
very careful not to eat any dirt or drink any water for the next two
weeks.
"How do i become obese fast? I want to look good by the end of the
year."
You can start by eating two tangerines in two hours. Then run
around in circles until you figure out what "obese" means.
"I thought cantelope was an animal!? i always thought that a
cantaloupe was that animal that has the horns and they live in Arizona
and stuff, but i was shopping for groceries yesterday and i saw they had
cantaloupe meat on sale. so i was like yeah sure i'll try it, but what i
saw, wasn't a cantaloupe. it was some white and green fruit thing!
whats up with this?"
The store is guilty of mislabeling. The term it was looking for is
"jackalope"--which is a cross between a jackfruit and a manila envelope.
"How is babby formed????? how girl get pragnent?"
On the one hand, I kind of hope you never figure it out. On the
other, maybe your parents don't know either--and it obviously didn't
stop them.
"Why are there school? is a point to it?"
There are school so you can learn how is babby formed, silly.
"Is it illegal to name a dog after a movie?"
Only if that movie is Air
Bud 2. As a practical matter, though, you might want to avoid
calling out to your pooch on a crowded bus if you decide to name it "Bang Bang
You're Dead" or "I'm Going to Explode."
"What is the best place to ask questions online? i mean, or there
any QA forums like on yahoo or anything?"
Hmm...a forum-like place to ask questions on Yahoo. Nope, haven't
heard of anything like that. But if you find something, be sure to let
us know.
"Is there any possible way of making 2+2=5?"
The easiest way is to flip the positions of 4 and 5 on the number
line. Another method is to use LSD (Least Sequential Denominators).
"Is it possible to feel like a sandwich?"
Sure. It's called LSD (Lettuce, Succotash, and Dill-pickle). It
feels, like, weird...
"How do you ask a question on yahoo answers?"
Hey, don't ask me. I'm still trying to find out if there's a
forum-like place to pose questions there. Anyone? Anyone?
"How do you spell government?"
Most of the time.