I have known this girl for a while and we have been chatting and talking on the phone. She is very friendly and caring, in fact I have never felt so much cared for in my life. On the phone, she tells me that she loves me a lot and is very romantic and passionate.We slowly realised that we both have strong feelings for each other and decided to go for a movie. But when we met, she was very cold and uninterested and acted like nothing has ever happened. I understood that she wasn't confortable the first time. When I called that night, she was very emotional again and told me that she really really loves me and misses me all the time. When we met again, she lacked any enthusiasm and did not even look in my eyes much. She looked like she was in a rush and ignored every romantic feelings I was trying to convey. I wondered what wrong I had done. When she left, she sent me a text that she was sorry abt being that way and that she seriously loves me and almost cried too.

This cycle has been going on for a while and I am really really confused. I really like her but she is so different in real life than on the phone. She doesn't wanna meet in alone either. I have no idea what I should tell her and do next. Has anyone else gone through something like this before? Suggestions appreciated.

she likes the IDEA of falling in love but with you i thnk she is just stalling and fishign till she finds the next guy...on the flipside it might be her personality and just doesnt know how to be in love..so teach her

I think what is happening is that the girl feels vulnerable when she is with you. She is hiding the relationship from somebody/something…parents OR her own conscience. She might have a conservative upbringing and it is fairly recently she gave the thought of trying dating. When she sees you in person, her conscience self takes over instinctively and she tries to protect herself from you. She is afraid she might take things too far (like physical relationship) and this protective shell blocks any intruders like you. However, when she is online or over the phone, there is really not too many “mistakes” she can make; she is protected from any physical “miss-step” she could take; hence she is comfortable.

 

The solution? Create the atmosphere she will be comfortable with. If I were you, next time I approach her, I would act more like her friend than a guy she is in date with. Don’t display any innuendo and refrain from any physical/sexual move. Also for next few dates stop being overly romantic. Try to be her friend and crack jokes.

 

Try this out. If this doesn’t work there might be other complex issues which we need more information before passing our judgement.

so u got run into one of those kind ugh?? don't worry its perfectly fine. Some chicks babbels throughout in chats and phone calls, but shows up with a stone cold face when met outside. In this case you have to take an initiative to break the ice (again!) when met outside physically. Crack up some jokes, that would be a good start. Good Luck.

Thanks a lot for your time and nice notes. The first day I tried to be very friendly and humorous like you guys suggested  but she acts the same in every single dates even after so many times. I have no idea what new I can do to change the way she is acting. She is very seductive when around people but when alone, the same story!

Booze is your answer in this case.

No offense, I would stay away from her...looks like she has some mental issues..and it could get worse in the near future.

It's just my opinion. So, don't take my word for it.

DO what I did bro, I felt they same way like you very similar situation, but later i couldnt take it no more so I was very stern and direct with her, I took a huge risk and on a dinner date I told her how I felt, how she made me feel, and I didnt want to waste HER time if there was nothing for me ahead. I told her that I loved her and was 100% comitted, but I couldnt waste my time not knowing the future, Because it was driving me crazy and couldnt function normally, so I demanded an answer right now and then or its OVER. guess what...........

We have been happily married for 7 years one kid and looking forward growing old together. Becareful bro this could have negetive outcome.

Interesting!

I am not an expert but what I can clearly see is she is  not at all comfortable with you. Additionally, you can try to do some analysis on her background. There might be several other factors involved as well. Some upbringings are not so well pronounced, hence when it comes to affection and intimate emotions, these people tend to shy away. Women don't easily let their guard down. So my point is, she needs to have complete trust and comfort before she comes out of her shell and fully responds to your advances. And what do you expect? Real life is always different, it takes time to get used to of body language and everything. It's totally utterly different  than having a voice conversation. Who are you? A dumb stupid teenager?

Take your time, don't listen to your desperate testosterone calls. She is neither using you nor she has any other hidden agendas. She seems to be normal, genuine girl who has certain angst for sharing intimate emotions with someone other than her close family members.

Otherwise if you prefer Instant Noodles there are plenty available.

Nas Suggestion ta dincha.. 

terobaaje bro, I wish it could end that way...

Nas...u always have awesome suggestions but too early for that :D

i_ice, very well said...but there does seem to be some issue, I hear from a random source that she is usually very seductive but was hurt in her past relationship.

                        I suspect that the lady you meet is the same person as you talk on phone!  it mighe be 2 ladies' plan...........................

Is this girl from Texas???

"Kamadev" - Kama (kāma) can be literary translated as wish, desire or longing, especially as in sensual love or sexuality.

Prolly she knew that your a "Kamadev". She therefore knows the fact that - A pervert doesn't do anything through the phone but does everything in person.

Take her to the bar next time. have some drinks (don't get drunk).. that should help her to open herself and share her feelings. that should kill her uncomfortableness.

haha..mr. kamadev...i hav read all this..n i felt like u r just foolin us around...it cant be happenin like that....like u said so serious..with u..in phone..n she even dun want to look at ur face..when ur there..haha..the first thing..i should say..is u just foolin..us...n if its really happenin..then u might be [Disallowed String for - bad word]ing ugly...that she might not want to be arund...u..can u upload ur pic in sajha...so we could see..u ..haahha u looser,,jackass....

thanks again for those who have posted nice comments...

unlucky guy, thanx for yr time but u got unlucky again, this time at guessing. This is all real i need some genuine comments and I look ok...i m not a sajha stalker nor do i have any time to fool around

good day!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=joLlsVx1n7I

 

watch this video

Next one

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3oV-cjz9Q1g

guys!

u were right..she is fake n just enjoys the feeling of somebody loving her and saying nice things to her...sometimes she becomes very emotional n cries too but in reality she doesnt love anyone just tries as many guys to like her n propose her as she can.

I am gonna be through with her soon!

 

Nice to hear you found it early. She is just a teaser then.