ओहो स्रिधर जी, 

 It reminded me my cousin who was then in this top graduate program doing his phd. Really smart man, but lacking in romantic skill. I always thought the girl who would be with him would be a real classy babe.

One day I was shocked to know (from his father) that a girl in KTM actually rejected him, and their family were behind the reason. Since I knew the famaily of the girl too, I found out that they were looking for a man with a greencard. After two or three years, my cousin ended up having a choice of a professoriat and a job with an INGO. The girl's family too found someone with a greencard, a programmer in mideast with a degree from a college there. Not a bad choice, but still..

I still think that a lot of people in Nepal have no ability to make 'speculative investment'. Investment in a PhD student is speculative, while a job holder is a 'sure' thing. Furthermore, I have realized that if no one in a person's family has done PhD, they are even less likely to think highly of PhD-holders.Of course, not all PhD programs have similar prospect, but to differentiate between different phd programs, you need well educated parents or girl.

 At the end of the day, however, people should marry wherever they feel comfortable. What can we say?

===

Also, in your case, I think the girl doesn't want the relationship anymore. It hurts, but you should realize it. When women want to be cruel and selfish, they can be extremely cruel and selfish. Always remember this.

 She is not worth it. 

Gwad its really hard to believe. Do those people even know what the hell PHD means. Let me adk yu something.. Hw old are you? M asking coz if its not to late for yu to get

Lmarried wait for a while, get your
phd, find a job get that bad a** card and marry a someone from their neighbourhood. Don't forget to send them the invitation with the copy of yur green card....lol
TAKE IT EASY

Don't brag about PHD, i think her parents are doing what they should be doing. What do you think you'll do with you Phd in US ? When will u get ur Green Card ? When can you bring her to United States after you get married. 
She doesn't wanna be left in Kathmandu after you get married. . . Everyone knows how US Embassy is....So i think her parents know the situation very well....
What are you doing your Phd on ? Is it really worth it ? Are you doing it just to maintain your Status ? Then it's not worth it... Guys with just  Bachelor degree in Computer Science (IT) are well settled in US and making 80k-100k already and they've Green Card Citizenship by now.

By the time you complete your degree you'll be old, and depending on the Subject you might struggle making 80k-100k and Green Card is Far away. ..

Don't overestimate yourself saying you're doing your Phd......You're nothing.

NOt worth it..if she had loved you c would have been with you..kasto kasto situation ma ta bihe garchan..If i was in your position i will say move on ..n alone u,l find the one who love for what you have ..in this case they want something u dont have ..so brother hold yourself be strong n u,l find one who appreciate education..u r doing your PHD n you need someone who know the value of education n respect . all the best.. !! 

 I have never read anything sensible in sajha by purana kagaz, and this one is also no better. For your information, I have not seen any phd student who has left his wife back home, it's really easy for them to bring their wife to the states. Where as for a greencard holder, the wife must wait for a few years before she is allowed to come here. In most of the cases, phd students end up being either a professor or a post doc. Since they will be working in universities or research centers they are exempted from visa restriction and tend to get greencard immediately.

As for money, I think a restaurant or convenient store owner makes more money. There is no point in comparing a successful undergraduate (making 100K) and unsuccessful phd. In a decent state level research university, an assistant professor teaches no more than 3 courses per year. It's the most cushy job you can think of. Apart from that, if they become successful in research, there is a whole new world.

So, don't be dumb. Several Nepali have a habit of 'sour grapes'--talking about things they don't know and you seem to be one of them. PhD is a tough thing, it is extremely hard to get into relatively top graduate programs, don't try to give an impression that people do it for 'status maintain'.

Bullshit crap. Y don't u let her kno.in USA paper status hine haru categories 1. Dv lottery winner . They r bhagyamanis n sorry bro u r not 1 Coz if u had been ur gf wouldn't suck. Coz she is same bitch like others who don't have any self confidence abt doing herself sth in life rather than depending on some guy who gonna take care of her needs. She doesn't have confidence on u dat u gonna make her happy. N finally she doesn't have confidence in love. She doesn't wanna fight for love she doesnt even wanna struggle. Being a loyal daughter is a crap. She is waiting for big chunk u dumb ass. 2. Are those who married American for paper. Tell her n her parents if u had wanted u could have done dat n hide it frm everyone but ask them do they really want to give away their daughter or themselves to some 1 who sold themselves. 3. Is one who filed fake asylum. And ask them of they want nautankaobaak. She should be damn proud of u Coz u r the one who has survived till pjs n maintain ur status. America is nth. U can go to any part of the world n survive.

Maiko jai bro,
Enuff said now let me speak some. Why do yu have problem with people having green card. Come aun dude, leave the folks alone if they are lucky or whateva. Everybody wants a good life, m not advocating those fake cases but why do i even care, should I? And i hate when people start spreading those hatred coz they couldn't get one.

 SiriDhar, everybody has posted their two cents, so let me put mine to. I think you shouldn't make any judgements listening to anybody's experience. Have you talked to a girl yet? Who knows may be she was forced to reject your proposal so even though she wanted she count accept you. All of us know our Nepali society and our parents too. They can be pain in a b*** sometimes on forcing their children on the Do's and Dont's. Most of the families don't give any freedom to their children esp when it comes to marriage.

Who knows may be that girl parents forced her not to marry you or something. Jastai bhaye pani Bau, Aama le bahneko mannai paryo unless you want to disrespect them. Who knows may be her parents told her that they'll committ suicide if she goes against their decision. What would you do if it was you instead of her. Obviously you would listen to your parents ni haina. So in the same case she might as well was forced by her parents too. So always look from both sides. Look at both sides of the coin and decide what's good and bad. Good luck bro.  

bd,
thanks bro.

 Forget about everything? and ask one question to you yourself and her ?
Do you Really love her ?
She loves you ?
If She could not make choice of her body and soul make her strong. I hate parentwntal things. Tell their parent there is big difference between sex and rape. If they r forcing her against her will, they are comiting crime- raping their own child.

gyanguru ko comment z da best n practical one....never trust a girl.....स्त्री चरित्रम पुरुसस्य भाग्यम , दैबो नजानम त कथो मानब??

Nice one gyanguru...I too have a similar experience Id like to share ..........I was into my late teens coming to the USA, me and my girl made a pact to wait for each other as I promised to be someone, work hard and ask her hand in marriage as we parted in tears, we kept in constant contact as her family knew our deal too. Like everyone here in the USA, I was struggling between work  and school. As a student I was working in a greek restaurant and her family knew that, two years went by and still working, school and stuff. It was my promise to her that made me go through all my hardship. I declined many advances by girls and avoided night clubs and any bad company. After I graduated my associate degree I joined another school for my bachelors. My girls kept in touch with me all the time and one day she called me crying that a PR holder from Australia asked her hand in marriage, I was going crazy and called her dad and begged to stop this, you know what he told me??????? What are you??? what do you have? who are you? how will you provide for my daughter? AND HOW MUCH DO YOU MAKE??? I was speechless but I begged him saying that I love her and will do anything for her and Im doing everything I can to be that guy that will take care of her forever..........he wouldnt budge and warned me to never call and leave his daughter alone. I called the house plenty of times, sent my family to talk to them but they wouldnt change. Then I got an email from my girl saying that she has to do what her parents ask her coz her dad is a heart patient and she asked me to forgive her and to forget her, worst of all she wrote our love was kiddy love and this is the real world and i should move on....man I was pissed.....well she got married.  I was a wreck here, got drunk and cried everynight..................later I decided to SHOW them what I was made off..........I studied even harder, that time if you guys remember  amnesty program opened and I got my greencard. same time I met a Gal, full of life, laughter and love......we fell in love and got married. We both were students and both worked two jobs and enjoyed our company , shared stories and just loved eachother .....later bought a house, got good jobs, Kids and life is good.............about two years back I found out some news through some friends who are in Australia........That guy my ex married is an alcoholic and a gambler good for nothing bum..........now I think they have kids and she is working to support his habit. I feel sad for her as I did truly love her BUT let me tell you folks....her parents know everything about her husband and also about where I am now...................that Must suck ...........her dad must have eaten his words, how he insulted me and how I BEGGED HIM.....well as life goes on.....he too must live with his decision, surprised he didnt have a heatr attack now and now I look back and you know what I WOULDN'T CHANGE A THING.............

SO siridhar brother....try your best to get her BUT if you dont, become the greater then person that she and her family went afterand  later they will look at you and regret letting you go......make your self brother because there will be someone better out there for you and you like me, gyanguru will also agree that  whatever happens, happens for the best. Good luck

HEY, DO NOT BELIEVE THIS SHIT GIRL. FIND SOMEBODY ELSE. KETI HARULAAI MANCHHEKO DARJAA MAA RAKHNU NAI HUDAINA KE.

 सबै मित्रहरु लाई मुरी मुरी धन्यबाद छ/ धेरै सहयोग गर्नु भएको छ
-श्रीधर

I agree
It doesn't appear the girl is too much into you. It's just not worth going through all this with a family who do not value you for who you are.

And dbst, please recheck your definition of rape. With your definition, about 80% of your great grandparents would be rapist.

Sridhar,

So sad to hear that but same happened to me as well but the only difference is, i was doing bachelors and ur are doing PHD. She went for lahure while i was chaure(student) so couldn't blame her parents as well.

Blame it or not, GIRLS are like that, what we generally call GOLD-DIGGERS.

When i was doing bachelors, i was in extreme debt and my job was not secured so her parents didn't accept me and she refused to resist her family.

2 yrs down the road, i am engaged to the most beautiful woman in the world and i have pretty secured job.

Long story, short, that bitch didn't DESERVE you and you deserve better than her. You're freaking PHD homie. Sooner or later your degree will stand for you.

Don't listen to this jacka%% people like purana kagaz who thinks PHD is nothing. PHD is something and that's why only 40 students graduate every year from U.S.  Although status and job aren't secured, they will come eventually.



Peace.

Sirus_Me

 thanks for your comment,sirus.