Source: http://sajha.org/sajha/html/OpenThread.cfm?ThreadID=27165

This was the first post on that thread (it was by usagal): "When i was in nepal i used to think if i go to U.S. i will do this...i will do that..i will earn this much..spend here and there...but after coming here...life is just getting busy...starts my day with class than work all evening till midnight...and sometimes i just don't fill like working that why i have quit more than 5 works.....i am just waiting for 1 year when i will be usa citizen an d all my family..i miss nepal..a lot...from frens to relatives to chatpate bhaiya".

_________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________
Found this inspiring quote on that thread (by states2006):  "My message is that do not relinquish your dream, because I truly believe that anyone in America can grow up to be a successful person. All it takes is a little hard work and determination. I am able to complete my dream in this country, but not in Nepal."
___________________________________________________________________________

*Found an interesting thread from 2006 titled "no life in us". Unfortunately the thread was archived so it didn't let me post there and bump the thread. I wonder what kind of opinion people have now on that topic.

Dyamn's comment on that thread "Can anyone tell me how can one have patience and wait for better days to come when thier H1 or opt is expiring and renewing is not possible. How can one have patience when they have to pay $4000 to $8000 in 4 months and they get paid 7 bucks an hour, while going to school? Can anyone tell me how they supposed to make that 7 bucks an hour when most jobs on campus are already taken, when they're only allowed to work 20 hours a week? Can anyone tell me how they can have patience when unable to pay dues on time or lowering thier credits numbers in any semester can make them illegal?

You guys talk about patience and shit. Maybe you guys came here a long time ago when the grass was green? maybe your parents did the struggle and you came to lick the pie. maybe you won the DV lottery. These are all different stories. We're talking about F1 students who come here for undergrad.
............................why not come for masters? why not come only when you have enough funding? Why not give these kids good advice than to tell them to have patience. have patience and what get illegal.. make situation much worse? "

there is money for sure here in the US. US is for materialistic people who can enjoy, if you seek family-love, companionship, cultural upbringing, relatives and "1st class" citizen status then Nepal is definitely for you. Both sides have merits and disadvantages but in a nutshell thats what it is.

the comment made on 26-Jun-10 02:05 AM by sab_nepaliko_sathi is the most beautiful and nice that i have learned/ heard  on years. there are some people who drag for success and hard work. thank you bro. you truly have amazing prespective. might be because i am also an undergraduate.

Goodfellas,none of the comments on this thread are mine. They are other people's comment. I just copied and pasted them and attributed those comments to them. The comment you are referring to was made by Dyamn in 2006

sab_nepaliko_sathi,

Your story exactly match my situation. After graduating in highly demanding field of Engineering from an accredited Univ, I had to join community college (within 3 months)  to seek possible opportunity and to save status. Working night time with $7.5 rate and sleeping in the morning class was my daily life. The hard earned money hardly was enough to pay for my tuition in community college. Do not ask what I sent my wife and kids in Nepal. Life was fallen on trap and opportunities were becoming tiny when time had not been used in the Univ and related job.

I am flying to Nepal soon. Probably this is the happiest day of my life. I am mentally ready to leave a car, drink boiled water, abandon some physical comforts and dreaming to have a simple but GREAT life in Nepal.

Thanks for your REAL analysis !

कि त चपरिमुनिको बास कि त हस्तिनापुरको राज भन्ने उखान सुनेको छ ? तेही हो कि ?बाउ बाजेले थुपारिदिएको भए बाउको लज आमाको होटेल जस्तो सजिलो केही हुँदैन ।

It is the result of Economic disaster every one is suffering. आर्थिक उथल पुथल ले कसैलाई पनि सजिलो बनएको छैन ।

Pc 30 u r so rt man. yeha man aafno desh mai aanada raicha , after i came to US, i have become racist and hater, i wish i would have never come here, jatisukai paisa kamyepani yeha no respect, I will never be able to work again like before, when I was new here I was excited abt working, now work seems like torture and jail to me so I haven't work since 2 years.  I will tell my Nepalese brothers never to come US in search of good life, but may be if u wana just make money thats fine work 2-3 yrs and return. I have my frens who works 12 hrs seven days a week, i ask them how they can do that man just loike living in a prison, i wonder how could they live that kind of life , they ve been working since 6-7 yrs, omg, they are like slaves for Americans, they get humiliated everyday but still they are happy to make money..

Well,
I came here in 1997 to join University in the middle of my Bsc in NEPAL. When I came here, there were hardly any Nepali around me. I got so isolated from everything that I didn't have any guide and with my half broken english, it didn't help much either. Anyway, I didn't even finish my undergrad (left after 3 yrs). I couldn't go home 'coz I was so embarrassed with my situation.

Now, I still don't have degree and most of my friend came here for Master or some for PhD. I don't even talk to them anymore because of educational difference. Not all of them are doing too hot but at least they have financial Aid from school and full-filling their sole objectives.

It will be 13 yrs in August 22nd of 2010 that I haven't seen my home country :(. This is pathetic. It is very embarrassing to say that my dad has very high status in society and because of that I am even more embarrassed to show my failure face around there.

After all these years this is what I've learned.
Unless, you have very strong financial support or have scholarship, Do NOT come for undergrad. It will be very hard life even if you succeed.

I finally received my GC and after all these years of struggle, this is SO NOT worth it. Wish, I knew this before.

Very very interesting perspectives and thoughts. Everyone is blaming, and everyone is just furious and angry at their action - that coming to america was a great mistake, and now that they got no option to do anything about it. Well U guys are daam rt, it was indeed a mistake for me too, probably a second greatest mistake of my life (sorry guys cannot reveal the first biggest mistake of my life; little private, little stupid). Well, but the things and life (life makes sense here , becoz for me learing is what a life is) that I have achieved becoz of that mistakes is much more biiger than that mistakes itself. I am not saying I am happy here, nor I am fulling or even close to my dreams. Well, there are many things, ask back home are they happy?.....It will be 8 years in Aug 15, 2010 9:35 pm OKC since I landed in america.

Things got so out of control emotionally and well sometimes finanacillay, that I used to call back home 2,3 times a week and tell them I would return to Nepal. Well, I guess I hunged there, and after coming close to 8 years, I have come to realize that mistakes are just a part of the life. Time will never come back, and so therefore best thing would be not to repeat those simsilat kind and learn great deal out of it.

In last 7 and half years I went nepal 3 times ( I was shocked  when one of the users told that he had not been to nepal for 13 years; i always find this shocking....its not that I have not met ppl with simailar situations...just few months back a guy went to nepal after 22 years........can't beleive what to tell here ). Called my dad mom, sis and other relatives here, and gave a trip of their lifetime..............Plaaaning to go to nepal this Dashai n tihar after 5 years ( went to nepal in 2005 dashai and tihar for 3 months, breaking semster).......Now holding a 8-9 job.........

Life is just normal, But as many of u said above never saw that happiness and others that I get back home. But this is my choice, and Guys believe me its never too late........

Now planning to move outside of USA, somwehere close to Nepal ( not Nepal .......went feb and saw that it will be really really hard for me to survive in Nepal, especially in ktm...Also, guys now someof you gonna say that why don't you bring change what you wish to see.....Sorry I am not Ghandi, not I am Hitler....and I cannot be Nelson too.....I am just simple guy, with some simple and big dreams.....who value relationship and humanity morethan anything else)....Well, Sometimes I think I was lucky. I know there are many out there much more smarter and well qualified than me having a much more harder time with jobs, money, socially, and many more....

What I think is that I did the hardworking as someone pointed above in the right place, in the right time with the right people.

Well, i know i will see much more coming here from others, and I will wait to add more to it.

Well, at last I would like to say........Don't blame yourself, nor anyone...there is no system that is 100%. no matter what, you will find defaults and flaws everywhere. Learnt from it. do what you wanted to do....and Believe me its never too late.....Find the balance, whether it is in Nepal or USA, and most importantly, set your priorities...........nobody will get all they wished....its what you want versus what u don't want...

I will not blame you but who ever came to USA never let other know that how hard it was but pretend doing excellent and happiest than before.  Did you tell your story to any body , I do not think you have told the whole parts to your parents ???????

We never researched what is the life in USA and it applies to those PH.D. level student to undergraduate level students.   Many of us took it so easy and we thought once we get the visa we will be blessed with a magic wand, every thing will be solved by then and there  rather it starts once we put our feet inside the airplane.  

It is may way of passing the theme. Read it all and you will know what I am talking about.

My  first cousin who used to think himself a professor (Teach in  University for couple years and got MS from India).  Many of us are ignorant and arrogant by habit. My cousin (he) got invitation to join IEEE conference that was held in
USA. He went to apply visa with invitation letter and was confident that he is the professor of one of the reputed university of Nepal.  The result was obvious, got rejected. Second time applied as if a regular person applies for visa (with proper documents and papers) and succeeds.  Because of rejection stamp in passport, immigration stamped only for one month.  He was about 1400 miles away from me, I could not help him nor could I invite to stay with me.  He came with confident and with a plan that he will be joining an university in Ph.D. Program and would not be returning home soon but it did not work that way and that fast. He was in contact with some professor who had highly spoken about him and his comment on their research work made him overconfident. How he going to know the couture of American, they never say negative in you face.  Couple complications were there, he could not fly back other than the airport it was in the ticket. He was loaned to study and the same guardian angle had loaned him to fly USA. I was struggling as usual, unable to help to travel 1400 miles up and down.  Somehow arrange for living close to his IEEE conference city so he can fly back easily and it may give him time to talked to the professor with whom  he was in touch may be helpful.

We ( I & my wife) discussed in depth and did not wanted him to be out of status because it will bar him to come back to USA for 10 years. I had seen many out of status friends and their life. While making decision my uncle face always came to my mind and he counted on me in past and I could not let him down.  We suggested him you can extend visa and once you do that I may able to invite you.  As you know it does not work as you had planned, he had to go back home.  Once he returned home, he told him parents that if I had helped him, he would have got school and stayed in USA . Who am I ? The University personnel who Issues I-20?  Even if I had helped him to stay and gone out of status he would have blamed us any way. 

Our decision on behalf of him was excellent and did as we would have done to ourselves. Recently  I heard he got PH.D. from one of the Canadian university. 

What I am trying to say is, this professor did not do his research and he thought if he is in will be in with a magic stick, what ever he needed will be fulfilled. We almost all came with limited knowledge like this professor. 

Grade our decision regarding this professor:  A+     to   F. 

Nepleese in America are facing discrimination and hardship because most nepalese are working here illegally. Wroking illegaly gives others a chance to push us around and be demanding. However even with all the legal documents and green card i am finding it very difficult to find a job. It has been 2 months since i left nepal but still i havent found a job

Even in the Heaven there is discrimination and forget about USA. Were we not discriminating? Most of Kathmanduties love to say "marsiya" parbate. and most of us say dothi to Tarai basi, what do you think about that.

Its up to us to stand up to get our rightful way

No life in the US rey? are you stupid? Show me life in Nepal first. Life used to be good in Nepal back in the days but thesedays not really.

Life is good anywhere if you have money otherwise it sucks unless you are an ignorant fool because ignorance is bliss.

Things always seem to look better from a distance but reality of the situation is different.

probably, we should read this before making any comments.

http://www.nasa.gov/centers/langley/news/researchernews/snapshot_ASingh.html

i think it is upto us how we want to direct our lives.

so after 4 years here is what i conclude, i understand i may be totally wrong.

Nepal is not as it used to be like 10-15 years back. If you have lived in the USA , you are used to of free life. I understand although you have to maintain your status and there are tons of financial difficulties but still you don't get beat up for not giving donations.  you don't have to be scared of organized criminals such as YCLs. you can walk and talk free. No kidnapping, if you have money. No one is going to come stick a flag in your land and steal your property. going to Nepal is not going to solve all the problems. Also when we think of Nepal we think of our younger age, free from financial torture because our parents used to help us , now we can't imaging the  same since we r adults now. However, living in the usa without a green card is hell as well. so if you don't have any papers you are left with two choices, this hell or that hell, you have to weigh all your options and priorities to decide which one whorths you the most.

Dyamn: Do you know how many of your friends know about your life style?  You not going to tell them, and even you tell them the truth, very few of them will believe you. 

Syanjali, I have been always honest about my lfiestyle in the USA. I have talked my nephew and nieces into not coming to America. Lots of kids now a days already know that from their friends or relatives anyway. i've only been to Nepal twice in more than a decade and i haven't been able to send money or do anything lavish so they know i'm poor.. most of my friends have gone back, among those who have gone back and with political connections they are making more than 80k Nepali rupees a month and enjoying their life more than they would over here. those who did not have any political connections but talented are wonering what to do, most want to go to aus or UK.. struggling part is not easy be it in Nepal or USA.. it's just that we come to usa in our struggling time of life and think it's all struggling.. i don't know man..i'm lost and confused myself.. good luck