Source: http://sajha.org/sajha/html/OpenThread.cfm?ThreadID=27165

This was the first post on that thread (it was by usagal): "When i was in nepal i used to think if i go to U.S. i will do this...i will do that..i will earn this much..spend here and there...but after coming here...life is just getting busy...starts my day with class than work all evening till midnight...and sometimes i just don't fill like working that why i have quit more than 5 works.....i am just waiting for 1 year when i will be usa citizen an d all my family..i miss nepal..a lot...from frens to relatives to chatpate bhaiya".

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Found this inspiring quote on that thread (by states2006):  "My message is that do not relinquish your dream, because I truly believe that anyone in America can grow up to be a successful person. All it takes is a little hard work and determination. I am able to complete my dream in this country, but not in Nepal."
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*Found an interesting thread from 2006 titled "no life in us". Unfortunately the thread was archived so it didn't let me post there and bump the thread. I wonder what kind of opinion people have now on that topic.

Very very interesting perspectives and thoughts. Everyone is blaming, and everyone is just furious and angry at their action - that coming to america was a great mistake, and now that they got no option to do anything about it. Well U guys are daam rt, it was indeed a mistake for me too, probably a second greatest mistake of my life (sorry guys cannot reveal the first biggest mistake of my life; little private, little stupid). Well, but the things and life (life makes sense here , becoz for me learing is what a life is) that I have achieved becoz of that mistakes is much more biiger than that mistakes itself. I am not saying I am happy here, nor I am fulling or even close to my dreams. Well, there are many things, ask back home are they happy?.....It will be 8 years in Aug 15, 2010 9:35 pm OKC since I landed in america.

Things got so out of control emotionally and well sometimes finanacillay, that I used to call back home 2,3 times a week and tell them I would return to Nepal. Well, I guess I hunged there, and after coming close to 8 years, I have come to realize that mistakes are just a part of the life. Time will never come back, and so therefore best thing would be not to repeat those simsilat kind and learn great deal out of it.

In last 7 and half years I went nepal 3 times ( I was shocked  when one of the users told that he had not been to nepal for 13 years; i always find this shocking....its not that I have not met ppl with simailar situations...just few months back a guy went to nepal after 22 years........can't beleive what to tell here ). Called my dad mom, sis and other relatives here, and gave a trip of their lifetime..............Plaaaning to go to nepal this Dashai n tihar after 5 years ( went to nepal in 2005 dashai and tihar for 3 months, breaking semster).......Now holding a 8-9 job.........

Life is just normal, But as many of u said above never saw that happiness and others that I get back home. But this is my choice, and Guys believe me its never too late........

Now planning to move outside of USA, somwehere close to Nepal ( not Nepal .......went feb and saw that it will be really really hard for me to survive in Nepal, especially in ktm...Also, guys now someof you gonna say that why don't you bring change what you wish to see.....Sorry I am not Ghandi, not I am Hitler....and I cannot be Nelson too.....I am just simple guy, with some simple and big dreams.....who value relationship and humanity morethan anything else)....Well, Sometimes I think I was lucky. I know there are many out there much more smarter and well qualified than me having a much more harder time with jobs, money, socially, and many more....

What I think is that I did the hardworking as someone pointed above in the right place, in the right time with the right people.

Well, i know i will see much more coming here from others, and I will wait to add more to it.

Well, at last I would like to say........Don't blame yourself, nor anyone...there is no system that is 100%. no matter what, you will find defaults and flaws everywhere. Learnt from it. do what you wanted to do....and Believe me its never too late.....Find the balance, whether it is in Nepal or USA, and most importantly, set your priorities...........nobody will get all they wished....its what you want versus what u don't want...

I will not blame you but who ever came to USA never let other know that how hard it was but pretend doing excellent and happiest than before.  Did you tell your story to any body , I do not think you have told the whole parts to your parents ???????

We never researched what is the life in USA and it applies to those PH.D. level student to undergraduate level students.   Many of us took it so easy and we thought once we get the visa we will be blessed with a magic wand, every thing will be solved by then and there  rather it starts once we put our feet inside the airplane.  

It is may way of passing the theme. Read it all and you will know what I am talking about.

My  first cousin who used to think himself a professor (Teach in  University for couple years and got MS from India).  Many of us are ignorant and arrogant by habit. My cousin (he) got invitation to join IEEE conference that was held in
USA. He went to apply visa with invitation letter and was confident that he is the professor of one of the reputed university of Nepal.  The result was obvious, got rejected. Second time applied as if a regular person applies for visa (with proper documents and papers) and succeeds.  Because of rejection stamp in passport, immigration stamped only for one month.  He was about 1400 miles away from me, I could not help him nor could I invite to stay with me.  He came with confident and with a plan that he will be joining an university in Ph.D. Program and would not be returning home soon but it did not work that way and that fast. He was in contact with some professor who had highly spoken about him and his comment on their research work made him overconfident. How he going to know the couture of American, they never say negative in you face.  Couple complications were there, he could not fly back other than the airport it was in the ticket. He was loaned to study and the same guardian angle had loaned him to fly USA. I was struggling as usual, unable to help to travel 1400 miles up and down.  Somehow arrange for living close to his IEEE conference city so he can fly back easily and it may give him time to talked to the professor with whom  he was in touch may be helpful.

We ( I & my wife) discussed in depth and did not wanted him to be out of status because it will bar him to come back to USA for 10 years. I had seen many out of status friends and their life. While making decision my uncle face always came to my mind and he counted on me in past and I could not let him down.  We suggested him you can extend visa and once you do that I may able to invite you.  As you know it does not work as you had planned, he had to go back home.  Once he returned home, he told him parents that if I had helped him, he would have got school and stayed in USA . Who am I ? The University personnel who Issues I-20?  Even if I had helped him to stay and gone out of status he would have blamed us any way. 

Our decision on behalf of him was excellent and did as we would have done to ourselves. Recently  I heard he got PH.D. from one of the Canadian university. 

What I am trying to say is, this professor did not do his research and he thought if he is in will be in with a magic stick, what ever he needed will be fulfilled. We almost all came with limited knowledge like this professor. 

Grade our decision regarding this professor:  A+     to   F. 

Nepleese in America are facing discrimination and hardship because most nepalese are working here illegally. Wroking illegaly gives others a chance to push us around and be demanding. However even with all the legal documents and green card i am finding it very difficult to find a job. It has been 2 months since i left nepal but still i havent found a job

Even in the Heaven there is discrimination and forget about USA. Were we not discriminating? Most of Kathmanduties love to say "marsiya" parbate. and most of us say dothi to Tarai basi, what do you think about that.

Its up to us to stand up to get our rightful way

No life in the US rey? are you stupid? Show me life in Nepal first. Life used to be good in Nepal back in the days but thesedays not really.

Life is good anywhere if you have money otherwise it sucks unless you are an ignorant fool because ignorance is bliss.

Things always seem to look better from a distance but reality of the situation is different.

probably, we should read this before making any comments.

http://www.nasa.gov/centers/langley/news/researchernews/snapshot_ASingh.html

i think it is upto us how we want to direct our lives.

so after 4 years here is what i conclude, i understand i may be totally wrong.

Nepal is not as it used to be like 10-15 years back. If you have lived in the USA , you are used to of free life. I understand although you have to maintain your status and there are tons of financial difficulties but still you don't get beat up for not giving donations.  you don't have to be scared of organized criminals such as YCLs. you can walk and talk free. No kidnapping, if you have money. No one is going to come stick a flag in your land and steal your property. going to Nepal is not going to solve all the problems. Also when we think of Nepal we think of our younger age, free from financial torture because our parents used to help us , now we can't imaging the  same since we r adults now. However, living in the usa without a green card is hell as well. so if you don't have any papers you are left with two choices, this hell or that hell, you have to weigh all your options and priorities to decide which one whorths you the most.

Dyamn: Do you know how many of your friends know about your life style?  You not going to tell them, and even you tell them the truth, very few of them will believe you. 

Syanjali, I have been always honest about my lfiestyle in the USA. I have talked my nephew and nieces into not coming to America. Lots of kids now a days already know that from their friends or relatives anyway. i've only been to Nepal twice in more than a decade and i haven't been able to send money or do anything lavish so they know i'm poor.. most of my friends have gone back, among those who have gone back and with political connections they are making more than 80k Nepali rupees a month and enjoying their life more than they would over here. those who did not have any political connections but talented are wonering what to do, most want to go to aus or UK.. struggling part is not easy be it in Nepal or USA.. it's just that we come to usa in our struggling time of life and think it's all struggling.. i don't know man..i'm lost and confused myself.. good luck

lol... syanjali..."Even in the Heaven there is discrimination". Ke ho mitra 'heaven' pani pugera aaisakiyo ki kya ho.....just kidding

"आफु भने अमेरिकाको मोज गर्या छ अरुलाई भने दु:ख देखाएर नआ ईज भन्छ". You are absolutely right

to be honestn guys according to me, there is no life for Nepalese or anyone born in a poor uncivilized country on this earth. If u have money in Nepal also u can't buy cars like u do in US, u can't find clubs like in US nor American girls to bang, nor fast food restaurants and luxorious restaurants like here in US, u can't find nice neat and clean highways like in US but stinkly filthy roads with bumps and full of trash screwed up by uncivilized Nepalese, u can't find Gucci, Armani, Prada, Doir in Nepal so u can't wear designers clothes. Also u can't find nice neat and clean Americans in US but u will find those Nepalese who are unhygeneic and when u go close to them they breathe shit.  our cultutres are so nasty, we burn our dead bodies, why not bury inside a coffin with respect than throwing half the burnt body in the river so that those catfish can eat. also why are people throwing trahes in rivers rt next to temples. so u know we are from uncivilized country so our life is nothing but a crap no matter how much money we have compare to Americans .so u klnow for me life is hell rt now I would just prefer to die and prefer to be born in an American family in next life.

K-Town : No matter how we live it is our culture..and it is because of people like you that our culture is becomming more degraded....if you so want an american life then get one..this is a free country where any one who works hard can achieve their dreams..so y dont u shut ur trap and work hard and get a life and stop complaining about our culture....  its not hard being an american its working hard dats difficult and most people dont work hard but blame the world.

Dyamm: If m not correct you came here on a student visa...you should study hard and believe me once u study and get a good degree america wont be daat bad. and anyways in US you dont need political connections just need to show some talent and hardwork. although i am myself not in a position to advice you but i have watched many people comming in student visa andAmit Singh's primary school is in a small southern village called Patahi, which lies in the Rautahat district of Nepal. That school provided him with an education, but it didn’t provide him a shelter from the storm ... Or even the rain.

For shelter, he would have to stay home. And he did.

On days when it rained, the school would close. With a roof of hay and straw, his classroom would get flooded. The school did not have desks or benches for the students, so they sat on the floor.

Singh did not attend a school with walls until sixth grade.

He went on to graduate high school in Nepal and then he moved to Minnesota, where he worked for about a year before starting his undergraduate degree at University of Minnesota.

He is finishing the final week of his internship through the Undergraduate Student Research Program (USRP) at NASA Langley. In the fall, he will attend Cornell , where he plans to earn a graduate degree in biomedical engineering.

Although Singh does not consider himself financially stable yet, he has already set up a yearly scholarship program, named for his late grandmother and grandfather, for students at the primary school he attended. It is awarded to the top five students in each class, from first through fifth grade.

"It's intended to increase intellectual competition among the students and make them more interested in their education," Singh said.

His family still lives in Nepal. His older brother is a civil engineer, and his father works as a civil servant. His mother takes care of their home.

While in Minnesota, Singh did research on Brain Computer Interface (BCI). According to Singh, that research set the foundation for his internship at Langley.

Also while in Minnesota, he saw news coverage of NASA launching a satellite. Curiosity led him to NASA’s website, where he came across information about the USRP Program at Langley.

About 15 weeks ago, Singh relocated to NASA Langley to pursue an internship.

He has since developed and tested hardware and a software application that breaks down brainwaves. He uses those results to prevent the users of a computer or any other entity from making errors due to inattention.

His project is called the "brain wave error guard system."

"The most exciting part of my work is to transmit engagement index data wirelessly from the Stamp board to PC via a Bluetooth Module," Singh said. "I think the concept of transferring brain wave data wirelessly is very unique and exciting."

He also appreciates the environment at NASA Langley. "Everybody is very friendly and caring and treats us with the same respect as a regular employee, even though I am just an intern," he said. "My mentor, Alan Pope, has a supportive and encouraging behavior that has helped me to successfully complete this project."

Singh has spent most of his time in the U.S. in Minnesota, but he prefers the weather in Virginia.

His overall preference of places he has lived and visited is Pokhara, a city in Nepal that he visited on a scouting trip in high school. "I just loved that city, especially the mountains, lakes and its climate. It felt like I was very close to nature," he said.

Singh said he hopes his education at Cornell will lead him back to NASA.

He should have no problems staying focused, as he considers himself goal-oriented. He also considers himself balanced, having spent time in both eastern and western parts of the world.

"I characterize myself as a global citizen, and I wish to work for the future of human kind," he said.

 suceeding.

Ayush, thanks for the advise.. yes i agree with you.. oh yes, if you're exceptionally talented then hell there is no place like America. if youre extermly dumb too this is heaven because you can still survive and live with dignity which is not possible in a country like Nepal where it's dog- eat -dog competition society for money and power. but if you're a mediocre then you're doomed unless you get lucky . i finished my studies 5 years ago and  i have been working in a field related to my studies, so i am grateful but more than studies it's all my luck. most of my friends talented than me and who studied harder than me are struggling, have gone to canada or returned to Nepal.. and very few are here... i am not intersted in research field so i didn't just took up a major thining about future immigration, i chose whati liked.. .. i worked hard to finance for my school.. lot of my friends just picked engeneering or computer science because they could get scholorships . and they were good at begging.. I realized that all scholorships are  not given to exceptionally talented students.. it's 80 percent and more than luck you have go to be good at begging , nagging your prof etc.. America is good if you're exceptionally talented, if you got a green card while you were planning to come here on student visa, or planning to go malaysia or katar to work, or it's good if you don't have elderly parents or have brothers and sisters to look after them.. but if you have family responsibility and if you're not so talented and if you sole plan to sponsor youself is by working for Indians then it's going to be hell for you.. i've been there and i don't want anything to go through it.. with my hard work and friends and family back home i would have easily achieved what i have right now.. and would be happier living with my closed ones...i just want to warn younge kids coming on student visa working in estes park, ocean city , gasstations to be careful and be smart because while you're busting your balls times is moving and you may miss out a lot in life .. trust me i like your inspiration.. i'm glad to know that a younge Nepali like you is so focused and hopeful.. but think about you , if a person like you who came with a green card in his pocket is having tough time finding a job then how hard could it be for students who can't even work..  my whole point is not to say life is America sucks, i  love it here, i just want youngesters to be warned who plan to come on student visa and no scholorship or sponsorship...

you are right man mero green card bhayera ni esto taal cha.. tara hopefully life will get better...mero ke problem bhayo bhane mero english ekdam fluent bhayera pani maile kura banauna, thik thak kura milauna janena...ja pani sidha kura gareko le aftyaro bhairacha....tara ni yo temporary ho bhanera afailai phakairachu tyai ho

 

you will be fine man.. more than jobs you need to focus on school right now, but you seem really motivated on that area too.you're a bright kid. i think the most use of green card in this country is while going to school for the 1st undergrad degree. US govt is happy to put you in the dorm of a University , feed you like a pig for free and pay all yuour expenses hoping you will be a productive citizen  in the future. I think this is a huge benefit from a cool govt and everyone should definately utilize it. so make sure you go to your school's financial aid and talk to other Nepalis with green cards to understand what they are doing. you're already in the right track as you know networking is the most to find jobs. keep doing that in real life as well and if you just want to work for few months before school start then you might consider going to ocean city, md or coming to estes park too. it's easier to find jobs and you have a green card as well. once thing i remember while looking for jobs back then is you need to go and continuously show your face to the managers evey day or every other day and show them you're desperate.

Ya i am trying the desperation act already but i am not too good with it. About school i want to join some good school i have already done my research about school. now i have to find out about financial aid. I want to work till december and join school in january. Hopefullty things go as planned. Anyways tell me about urself

Thought it will make sense positing this.

जिन्दगी कसैको लागि भाविको लहना हो
जिन्दगी कसैलाई बिलासको गहना हो
जिन्दगी जस्लाई जे सुकै भए पनि
जिन्दगी मलाई बाच्ने एक बाहना हो !



साभार : युबा कबी कबिता सन्कलन