I have been with my gf for 5 years. Last year we decided to move in together, and right now there are talks of tying the knot. Since we started living together last year, I have been getting bored of being with her. The spark is not there at all. She is a very nice girl and I don't want to hurt her, but I'm not happy being with her anymore. I don't know if she would be able to recover if she knew what I really feel thesedays. I feel like I'm not myself because I constantly have to act as if I am in love when I'm not. What should I do??

kaan ma kundal,

I think your situation is a little different that yours. She has acted on her instincts. It was her call and she took her chances. I think you should take yours too. You were right about how many lives she has affected by her choices, but its also true that your constant effort in trying to get her back is also affecting lives. You might want to think about that. I think its best you let her go. Its going to be tough, but some things in life are supposed to be lived with toughness and faith. I hope faith is in your side, brother.

long distance relaitonship is not so trustworthy KMK!! i dont go for those~

AznshawtY,

wheres khaobadi. Ask him to say something in this thread as well. I am sure he will have something "thoughtful" to say about this.
Long distance relationships are fine. Its people's commitment and values that needs to be checked. Don't hate the game, hate the players. :)

GRK Dude,

You have some problem man. You need some councelling. FIVE YEARS is a long time. You just need to be frank with her and resolve any unresolved matter. If she is very nice to you, why are you not happy with her? What's the problem?
It's will be pure betraying if you leave her along at this point of time, living with her for FIVE YEARS. I am sure she will be hurt badly and her tears will never let you live happily.
Open your eyes and work on the relationship. It's hard to find true love these days.

And Mary gal,

Don't be so biased in your opinion. I won't say guys have no flows. But it's kinda unfair to say ALL GUYS. If you ask me, I would say (few but not all) GALS have the same problem as well. They also want to go around and get new one the every other day.

we used to meet once in a semester. we had spend some quality time together. we never felt any kind of uneasyness during our stay together. she was the one who asked me to visit her parents for marriage. marriage was coming soon in couple of months. but suddenly, she did this to me. she is not a teen age girl either. she is matured girl. she met the other guy for only couple of times and he gave her some gifts which i think attaracted her. they went out, dinner, movies and all and they got attracted i guess. it is not clear at this point that the guy really loves her or just using her. she used to say taht she is guilty and she can not face me in her whole life. i had done so much for her that she can never face me. but suddenly she is getting very rude and says, its my life and i will do what i want to. you do what you wan tto. i am trying to convince her and every positve word of mine is taken in negative ways. if distnace was the issue, why she did not tell me earlier. why this long? why she showed all commitment and love and now betrayed me? when i ask her this question, she does nt have answer. its killing me. my whole career is going down. i can not focus in anything. i have not told this thing to my parents, they will go crazy if they knew it. her parents are already suffering big shock, where as she does nt seem to care anyone. how can she betray a guy whom she had long relationship with a guy whom she met just 3-4 times. i do not understand this. can we trust people in this world??

how m i gon know where khaobadi is, i dun even know him! and ya.. its not like there arent any couples with long distance relatiionsihp, it depends on them eachother but still you never know! but it wwouldnt work for me!!!!!! there shpuld be a physical relationship too right.

AznshawtY,

what do you mean by physical relationship? you mean fu(king?

heheehhehe making out and stuff like that, not just "fu(king"

KMK bro,

Life is not always fair. Sometimes, Things don't go as you have expected. I know how you might be feeling at this moment. I know it would be very very hard for you to forget her at this point of time and move ahead. But I guess she has played her cards and now it's your time to move on as well. Time is the best healer, pal. This is the real world and you need to face it. I have seen wife leaving husbands after many years of marriage for another guy or vice versa. Just compare you with them; may be you will feel better. It's better sooner than later.

Allrights guys just chill....
Its happens GRK. There is always a saying ( Maan nai to honi )..

Mary Girl..
Dont just pick on guys ..i have seens lots of girls in that suitation allright.

GRK....a girl isnt something that you got for free or bought from that u feel bored of one day and decide to dump it.

the problem is with you not in the relationship or the girl....try to make it work out..dont hurt her man.

Yo Dude you're bored with her ? You sure you not batting fo the same team ? Aah mean maybe you should get a pinch hitter to feel the FLOW. And if it works out fine you should just ask yo ass to be traded. he he KNOW WHUT AHHH MEAN ? he ehh

That’s not unusual to get bored in a relationship especially if you’ve been with that person for 5 long years! You can’t expect the relationship to be great all the time u know, no matter how great a match you guys make. May be you should go on a vacation without her for a few days and see if you miss her at all. You’re saying that ever since you guys moved in together, you’re kinda not liking it as much (as you had expected or…?). Haha…why am I not surprised here? LOL. Dude, if you don’t think its gonna work out, you gotta let her know. She’ll probably scream at ya, throw stuff at ya, and may be even call the police. But hey, its better than living with that guilt inside you all your life. Liberate yourself and her too. Marriage is not a bacha bachhi ko khel u know. If you wanna marry someone, u better well be damn sure that u wanna marry that person. After all, you’ll be spending your whole life with that person. What the hell u been thinking? Why’d u wait so long?

GRK,
Marriage is the final destination of any relationship. If she is planning about marriage, what's wrong about that? If you need some time for marriage, just be frank and tell her. You guys can get engaged now and take few more years for marriage.

oh there is defintiely wrong with getting married for GRK for now, look, first of all he is losing his interest on that girl and secondly the responsibilities of marriage!

mero pani post herera suggestion garum na sathi haroo. i dont know how would i bring energy to live this life. i was/am so committed to her that i do not want to think about any other girl. for me, she was/is the only one. is this becasue i gave her to much love? is this becasue she took everything for granted?

kaan ma kundal,

Read carefully... you have been dumped. D-U-M-P-E-D.
Realize that and get over it. You can either sulk in distress and be a part of people's sympathy or face the reality and try and get over it ASAP. The choice is yours. I dont think others can do much than pity your state. I dont think that will help much unless you are looking for some quick nookie. If in fact you are talk to AznshawtY.

GRK is probably playing a prank game with us. he is nowhere in the picture now.....

taal taal ka manchhe chhan sajha ma k bhanne

hari sararam

loote

.my honest, humble opinion

GRK

people always hype the "feeling" aspect of love but there is a "thinking" aspect to life as well. i think, what you are feel right now is anxiety and fear that "this is it, this is who i am going to marry". it is similar to a mid-life crisis where suddenly people realize that where they are at the moment is pretty much as good as it is ever going to get for them career-wise, family-wise and personal life-wise.

1. try to think about this. if the only distraction from your gf right now is because of this fear or anxiety, remember as someone already said above "true love is hard to find". on the one hand, this may mean that you've got to cherish what you've got now because it may be true love. on the other hand, what you got now may not be true love but face it, it's going to be as good as it ever gets. if you think, you'll ever settle down, this may be your best bet. put aside your feelings for a moment and do a cold, hard calculation. if you decide that in the end this is good for you, then you have to "teach" yourself to love this person again. this sounds harder than it is, afterall you were in love with this person for more than 4 years (not counting the year you lived together).

2. that being that, feelings are feelings and they are important and you cannot ignore them. people here have riled at you for feeling this or feeling that, but this is largely out of your hands. people get bored, they get bored of food, places, jobs, songs and other people. but i don't think love is in never having to ask questions or in never having to doubt. doubt is natural and there is no point ignoring it. i think love is also in having to ask questions, questions about whether you love your gf, questions about whether you want to spend the rest of your life with her. love is in finding a happy answer to these questions.

3. if in the end you find (decide?) that you're not really ready for marriage, talk to your gf (and not other relatives and mutual friends) about it. maybe you do like your girl, but just aren't ready for marriage. maybe you should separate for some time and rekindle the warmth in your heart and the fire in your loins. but maybe, if both of you decide and feel that you cannot move forward, you'll break up. baseline: there is no point in torturing yourself AND your girl by just going along with this indifference. this will hurt both of you in the long run.


Kaan Maa Kundali:

1. let go.

Kan ma Kundal bro,

Life is not always fair. Sometimes, Things don't go as you have expected. I know how you might be feeling at this moment. I know it would be very very hard for you to forget her at this point of time and move ahead. But I guess she has played her cards and now it's your time to move on as well. Time is the best healer, pal. This is the real world and you need to face it. I have seen wife leaving husbands after many years of marriage for another guy or vice versa. Just compare you with them; may be you will feel better. It's better sooner than later.
Regarding bringing your life to normal, don't let you be alone. Spend your time with your roomies and frns. Probably, gals take you for granted if you care them too much. Life can be very harsh on you once in a blue moon but you need to face it and get over it.
Hope you will feel better soon.