I have been with my gf for 5 years. Last year we decided to move in together, and right now there are talks of tying the knot. Since we started living together last year, I have been getting bored of being with her. The spark is not there at all. She is a very nice girl and I don't want to hurt her, but I'm not happy being with her anymore. I don't know if she would be able to recover if she knew what I really feel thesedays. I feel like I'm not myself because I constantly have to act as if I am in love when I'm not. What should I do??

oh no kapil "kyun? ho gaya na" now be salman khan from hum dil dechuke sanam! "tadap tadap ke iis dil ne aahe.." but dont become devdas... there are lotta paros around you, open your eyes, open up wide :P or even Chandramukhis, right?

Kan ma kundalji....
Its better that you saw her true colors before your marriage with her. Anyway let bygones be bygones and start afresh. Be happy that it ended and there is a whole new beginning.And please don't forget the lesson..one has to always check on oneself what he/she is doing? As long as one finds him/herself honest in the relationship, there's nothing to feel sorry about or feel hurt.Its much better that u are not living with shame or guilt...lucky fella.....:D

I wish you good luck..

.men are genetically pre-disposed to find multiple partners, or so i heard once. (i would've said a research found once but i can't seem to locate the article now and i don't want to be accountable to sajha "cite your source" hawks.) it comes from the earliest of male desires to "spread the seed" to maximize the potential of furthering your lineage (that's how people achieve immortality).

women on the other hand want a stable relationship because they have to bear all of the responsibility of carrying the child in the womb.

of course, "civilization" has tempered (diluted?) these raw instincts but ...

hmm....okay!!!
what if someone asked you this?? how would you respond to it? :S just curious! :P :P


what do you do if you and a girl have been together for 1 and half years and you love each other, but you guys just don’t get along? half the year we spent getting to know each other and the year we spent fighting and then getting back together cause we just can’t live without each other! we both know that we don’t get along, our opinions, views and everything else is the complete opposite, what do you? She says that we should end the relationship now when things haven’t gotten as far and that it will be more difficult to do so later on! is she right or is it just me not wanting to let her go? what would you do? and there’s no way that we can try to get along because we have been trying for a whole year and we always end in a fight and then getting back again after two weeks or so! this just can’t go on and the question that she asks me is “you’ll be okay right even if we end the relationship? I mean I don’t want to hurt you or anything but how can we keep going on like this? ” what do I say to this??? and I know she loves me and I love her!!!

Dude if yer bored go jump off a cliff or somethin' he he Like that James blunt dude.
mebbe you will get yer lovely feelin back' he he. Or is there somethin' wrong with yer tool ? he he There ain't nothin in that area that a Cialis, Levitra or Viagra cannot fix !! ha ah ha !!

My suggestion:
Have some balls. Go talk to her and tell her exactly what you feel about the "relationship" and remember not to mention anything personal "negatives". Tell her you care about her and ask if you guys should live seperate for a while, a month or two. If she agrees, then do it. It will help you realize how much you miss her and how much she mean to you. You can make good judgement after staying out of the "relationship" atleast for sometimes.

If you guys have never ending problems and arguement then its not worth sticking together. If otherwise, (everything going smoothly), its better to stick together and try to make it interesting. Because every relationship after ahile loose that initial momentum and excitement , therefore, it is not possible (and not worth anything) , to jump to new one every other year seeking those things.
think about it pal.
ps*
consider what you want and what you can make out of it. if things seems hopeless then perhaps its time to move on.


Good Luck

after reading this thread i remembered the lyrics of 2 songs:

"Once i run for you now i ran from you: Name of the song:Tainted Love"
"...i am gonna break heart all around the world ...i am gonna break it in two's, show you what your loving man can do: Beatles ko gana ho, song name birsen...

GRK .... you pathetic jack... 5 yrs sangai basera keti lai chodne kura garda ni laaj lagdaina hari sharnam... Maya garnu bhanda pahila sochinas...yo keti mero lagi ho ki hoina bhanera...Thuikka tero buddhi...relationship lai kahile pani kharayo jasto na kuda ...bistarai kachuwa jastai laija...kina bhane keti haru lai time chahincha...they have to accept the fact and be secured that this GRK or another boka will be the knight in shining armor...it is tough for you too kina bhane now whenevr you find someone because you will start to bench mark that person. meaning mero gf yesto thi yesrai soch thi blah blah...anyways...now coming to the point...kura gar..(COMMUNICATION) bhujis ...afno maan ma kura rakhis bhane tainle sansar jun bhakri lai bhetis bhane pani 5 yrs pachi feri chodera arkai tira lagchas...life tero ho decision tero ho tara kidney hoina bro brain use gar hai...na risa hai khali mero maan ko kura lekheko ...hope things work out for u...kaam dev le tero kalyan garun...

well the first priority in a realtionship is to get along with, if you just cannot get along with eachother then def it wont work. gotta say goodbye
"But its time to face the truth, i will never be with you" : P

there are two topic going on here guys. one by GRK and other by Kaan ma Kundal. they are exactly opposite though.

Assuming that the problem is genuine, I, Dr. Depression, would like to share my thoughts:

1) GRK

- So you are not in love any more eh'? 5 years into the relationship, including a year living together, phew... that's serious stuff. And you have managed to pretend loving her day in and day out for about a year, right?

Perhaps focusing on what made you love her for about 4 years, what ignited the fire between the too, and working towards bringing the magic, instead of hoping for it to reignite on its won is the solution. But if nothing works, and you, in the process even her, feel that it is futile, then, as hard as it may be, neither of you can afford to live in misery for another 50 years, for the sake of 5 years of togetherness. In any case, after some time the number of years becomes irrelevant.

Give it your best shot, WORK towards bringing the magic back. TALK about it, albeit remember to be sensitive about the way you put it. And YES, you OWE it to her to be AS CONSIDERATE AS IS POSSIBLE and little more.

But remember there is no right way to break a heart and no matter how you end it, there will be few cracks and I'm afraid it does look like the finger is pointed at you.

Work on it, if it's futile; remember she deserves someone better than you.

Perhaps this helps. You should do what burns your fire.
---------------------------

Marygal,

Do not stereotype all of us. I've seen many fairer kind doing absolutely worse than that. You can not typecast, and if you do, just remember, it takes two to tango.

Now moving o to case (2)

...

danger danger galli po garcha .. baaaa... chainjooo..... testai pida khepnu pareko thiyo kya.. kura keti ko hoina .. lope paryo bhandaii ma .... 5 barsa.. 10 barsa .... keta -ketilai or ketile -ketalai ... j julum ra duur bhaywaar gare pani .. mero suntali ..oh mero mailo ..timi testai ho ..tara ma timilai maya garchu bhanera .. basne ta ...? y-haat.
things change with time. if things doesnt work ..try to make it work .. if not ..everyone ..keta hoos ki keti ...they are free to use their own judgement ..bahira ko manche le jati karaye ni kehi hunewala chaina .. jati logic deye pani things doesnt change . .only ppl who can make things happen are two of them if one of them is not willing .. it goes down the sh**t pipe.... achel herda .. its not about keta are more selfish than keti haruu .. nor vice versa .... its about personal choice. read my previous reply and so that you can make any sense out of it .......... mukh cha bhandaii ma j ni bhanne .. lau .... nakkali ho ki nakkale ... ho ... jo hoos .. kura chaii gadha ko jasto bhayo .. .

Read as:
"Perhaps focusing on what made you love her for about 4 years, what ignited the fire between YOU TWO..."

2) Kaan ma Kundaal

- Okay it must hurt. It's pretty hard to comprehend "WHY" and "HOW" she did it. The bottom line is she DID. I am not going to say, cheer up, think this way or that way, because I know, regardless of what people say, you got to be able to face the truth yourself and no matter what we say, it probably will be of little help. Nonetheless, I shall try.

Many years ago, I read this article (or was it book) that spoke about "the power of positive thinking." No it did not change anything dramatically after I read it, but what it did was provided me to look at the positives in otherwise glum circumstances.

Think of it this way - perhaps it was better this way. Imagine if she was to rock your boat, depressingly speaking, AFTER you guys were married, bringing this rendezvous. Would not it be much worse?

So, she living her life and being herself NOW is MUCH better than if it was to happen later. Remember, YOU are the most important person in your life. She just added gloss to it. It had to wash out when it rained.

Also, you said that now she says it's her life and shit, unlike earlier, when she was on guilt trip, right? You know why? Because you presented yourself as a pathetic person, contantly asking her to come back and professing her importance in your life. Keep doing that, and you would lose whatever little respect she might have for you. SHE KNOWS THAT YOU LOVE HER RIGHT? STOP BEGGING!

Nobody received love in charity, and you will neither. Love is NOT an obligation, it is a promise to cherish and behold. STOP making her feel like she is OBLIGED to you.

And lastly, always remember whatever happens, happens for the best. Scream, bang your head or drunk till you puke and pass out and curse her silly - whatever helps. When the blurriness ceases and it's no longer ambiguous, you would know you have someone you deserve. Now, tell yourself that it's your call, and you are NOT taking her back even if lightening strikes her to sense and realization hits her hard. You are better, you deserve better and with smile in your face, tell her, if not from you mouth, from your heart, TO FAWK OFF!!!

Open you eyes, life is still beautiful, and one bump does not mean you don't drive. If anything, it's about time you actually get some speeding tickets while you can. GOT IT?

Dr. Depression signing off... for now.

Astu!

IndisGuise:)

girl_interrupted said - " devdas are losers too ehe! Coz they can't make up their mind on time, and later on, when the girl has decided to start her life fresh, they want to pretend like alcoholic devd-asses"
^ you're so right, guys cannot make good deicions when it comes to relationship, they think from their dick not hearts but not in the deadass case though, im talking in real life! :|

To me it seems like other way around.

May be she is so bored with him that she is making this story of marriage and wants to get rid of him, as she thinks he is such a nice guy and she is having hard time admitting it to him....

Have you thought about that?

i have nothing to say to GRK, he is one pathetic moron who knows nothing but to play with human emotions. if you were in place of kaan ma kundal then you would know, how does it feel to be betrayed. MARK MY WORD: there will be time in your life when you will look back at your life and MISS HER. REMEMBER ME HERE SAYING: there will be time in your life, when you will repent for leaving her....... I am not cursing you but this is surely going to happen and then you will see tears in your eyes....but then it would be tooo late. if you still have a thoughtful head on your shoulder, go back and grab her...coz she wont come back once you LOSE!! LOSER...GO GRAB HER..

Kan ma kundal,

I hear you my friend. I can imagine myself in your place, its not at all easy to overcome the pain of being betrayed, that too on emotional relationship. But here is how i would go. there are 1000s of girls better than that bi--tch (sorry for being rude), who knows, one of them might be waiting for ya, to make a difference in your life, so go ahead and look for the new horizon of your life. Get a better girl and show her to that bitt-ch. she will repent too for sure...


oohi sahayogi
loote

the bottom line is boka needs boki and vice versa.... boka is equal to a fisherman... and boki haru ta fish ho samundra ma.... there are different kinds of fish...sharks dekhin liyera goldfish he ehhee... shark type to dil chahata hai ma cha ni chandal "Saif ko first gf" testo type... ani feri gold fish bhaneko gold bhai halyo...kasai ko khappar ma shark parcha bhane kasai ko bhagya ma goldfish...bhitri ankha kholera lop gar boka haru natra devdas jasati bhayera afnai saradhhe garnu parla.... i know this all rubbish tara i think there is a hidden message...and the message..aaati cheesy dialog "one life to live duhhh pyar kar le mundiye ooooh chak de phateeeee"""

All you guys:
It is easier said then done.

IF YOU ARE IN BAD RELATIONSHIP AND IF YOU THINK GENIUNLY THAT IT IS NOT WORKING FOR YOU, YOU SHOULD MOVE ON. LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO SPEND BEING UNHAPPY AND THINKING AND REASONING , "OH IF YOU SHOULD CONTINUE OR YOU SHOULD END , BLA BLA " .. CHCIKS WONT SPARE GUYS IF THEY FIND A COOL HUNK DOWN THE ROAD, OR IF THEY THINK THEIR BFS ARE LOOSERS FROM HELL REGARDLESS OF TIME THEY SPEND) . WHY SHOULD WE? IF SOMEONE DOESNT FEEL GOOD ABOUT HIS RELATIONSHIP AND CAN NOT BE AND ACT SELF OR IF SOMEONE IS BADLY ABUSED VERBAL, EMOTIONAL AND WHAT NOT .. GET OUT OF IT. LIFE IS BEUTIFUL AND YOU DONT HAVE TO LIVE IN SHITHOLE IF YOU THINK YOU LIFE IS LIKE ONE WITH THAT PERSON. SO ALL YOU GUYS STOP B.S AND BE PRACTICAL . WE ARE IN US. DAYS HAVE COME WE NEED TO HUNT FOR VIRGIN NEPALI GIRL , THERE IS NO RULE OR LAW IN THE PRESENT CONTEXT THAT THE DUMPED GIRL OR GUY WILL FIND A BETTER MATCH.

HAVE YOUR SAY

well, if she was not happy with me, she should have told me so that we could work things out. it hurts when i came to know about it. it would have been lot better if we had broken up the relationship with mutual understanding. i am very sensible guy and very much committed to her. she was too until about 1.5 months ago. surprising thing is she was kept on saying i love you just before the day i found out about this. first of all she denied and tried to hide things. later she accepted and said sorry and said that she is guilty. she cried a lot over the phone. i guess crocidile tears. now she is worried abotu her prestige as most of the people know about her relationship with me in her school, family and friends circle. whenver she came to know about my situation, which is not normal, she cries a lot. i can not do anything but ask her to stop crying. she asked me not to love her so much that guilt within her will kill one day.

i dont know how the guy is. now the guy has brainwashed her and she speaks his language. lately she is becomign very rude and started becomign like a human being without heart. it looks like she has stone in place of her heart. we live in society and we respect all. she dont give damn to anyone now. her only fear is to lose her respect in front of her family and friends. i dont think she is coming back to me in at least near future, i really wish she would. but at this point, even she is not, i am thinking of waiting for her but i wotn contact her much. i will see how her relationship with this guy goes. most probably her paretns will marry her soon as they do not want this thing to happen again and again with her, if that is the case, i need to move on, if she is not getting married, i will wait for her until she get married i guess. i dont know if i am doing right or not, but this is what i am thinking rightnow. there is no hope, but still i will see. one thing is for sure, she will never find a guy who will love her as much as i did. i guess i did too much. at this point, its really hard for me to move on, but i have to try. we are meeting soon, lets see what she will say about this.

TO GKR:
Your claim that you are keeping yourself from telling the girl how you feel about her sensing you might "hurt" her is totally groundless,.. for as soon you do (tell her) you'll just cease to exist in her life.. let alone you being able to hurt her!!
Do her a favor---stop being the thoughtless coward that you are and go tell her how you feel!! liberate the “nice girl” from the soon-to-be hers hell (married life with you) !!
--I can bet every penny that i hold….no commonsensical girl is interested in an irrationally feeble-minded opportunist like….. hmm we all know who :O

what?? uffff there's 3 cases here ke not just 2! ufff! :)