www.canadanepalvid.com/2012/12/news-domestic-violence-in-north.html

It's people like stopwater that I feel like giving a resounding slap. The guy beats his wife and has a mistress and he is pidit ? I say put the guy and his mistress in jail for ten years. That will teach him to respect women.

 घरेलु हिंसा नेपालमा

When, I watched her story and read some of the reactions here, and made me drop a few words. I sensed a bit of fabricated story based on how she is speaking to the reporter. and do you notice how she is dressed up? on the interview? wow! By watching all this, I believe either she is an attention seeker or she is on some mess already and trying to cover it up before someting comes up in the light.

But don't get me wrong: she may be true. I am just pointing that not to make a quick judgment based on this one side of the story.

Ok, here is my take.
-- If her so-called husband (in her own words), was so abusive, why she did not report to the local authority in Nepal?
-- If her so-called husband and mother-in-laws are working for women rights, she does not mention what organization they represent to advocate such? and I wonder the reporter did not ask her that. (correct me If I am wrong or missed it).
-- She follows her so-called husband all the way to US and settles in some city/county NC, and still married to him (seems legally). In this case, why she did not report her case to the North Carolina Law Enforcement?
-- Why is she reporting her story of DV to Nepali media in first place while she is in North Carolina?
-- If husband is still abusive, she can report to local law enforcement office NC--(city)PD, and press charges or request for restraining order against him, over and over as long as she feels secure from him. While he is restrained, she can make him pay all hers and childrens, expenses by the court order. I do not hear any attempt she has mad so far.
-- and last if her husband is so bad, what is she waiting for? She can file for divorce. It is very easy for women who is the victim of domestic violence or battered to get divorce based on the fact, make husband pay all expenses for life long (depending on the case).

I do not see any of these happened into this women's life, so to me it seems she is covering up something or she is not telling the whole story. As I said, I do not make any sided judgement at this point.

Correct me if I am wrong.
Peace.

 WOW KHUBULE!

You must be a sheer genius in the making. Let me highlight couple of your genius points. Please feel to recite them again!

 * She is fabricating a story because in your view, she dressed up inappropriately while giving an interview?
*  She is covering something up because she chose not to report to authority while in Nepal?

Conclusion: All the women that are abused by their husbands/families in Nepal are not abused because they don't report to their local authority or the innumerable NGOs. Bravo!!!!

'

khumbule, I agree that she should have sought the help of the local authorities in the US. It does seem like there's more to the story that what she is telling.

domestic violence is a crime and she should report to us authority.She can also get proper compensation and help from charity regarding cash help, job search help etc.

Thanks Snurp,

Thanks for a pick on me.

Let me clearfy my view what I meant.

* She is fabricating a story because in your view, she dressed up inappropriately while giving an interview?
-- Not at all. but if I were such a victim, I would dress up appropriately while interviewing (planned) on Cam. That should not deviate my point of saying. I find difficulty in understanding based on what I pointed out, and not on how she is dressed up.

*  She is covering something up because she chose not to report to authority while in Nepal?
-- At some point it is understandable and she chose not to, because may be there were several compulsive reasons while back in Nepal. However, I cannot hear any of such situations that is keeping her from reporting in US. I don't think she is in a captive situation in US, while she had a freedom to give an interview to a Nepali media.

And I am eager to know the name of this NGO who her so-called husband and mother-in-law is working for? It is good to know so the US money don't go to a wrong hand.

PEACE & LOVE.
Khumbule.

You chose to criticize her clothes? You're not a victim and you're more than smart to be a victim. She is perhaps not smart enough and that's why she's a victim. She chose to wear what she wears and she is again perhaps not smart enough to wear the clothings to be able to convince our society.

I remember reading a recent story on CNN where the women of Afghanistan was jailed for reporting a rape and the culprit was not even questioned. Do you know why? There is a law in Afghanistan which requires women to report the rape within 24 hours (I might be wrong about the time frame, but it was ridiculously a short period (less than a week)). We can never imagine the emotions the victims go through and we can merely speculate about them with what they should or should not have done. It is always easy to blame the victim. I heard her saying talking to her husband's mistress. That tells that she was still trying to save the marriage till the end despite all the abuses, but finally the thread broke and she could no longer tolerate it.

She might have gone through emotional abuses and may not have enough evidences to report to the authorities here. It's easy for us to say this and that here. I don't think you can report for emotional abuses and verbal assaults. For other physical assaults and sexual abuses, it might had been too old to report to authorities. We don't know what it was. There is certainly another side of the story. But it makes me sad to see the way nepali pupil rushed to blame victim by judging on the clothes she was wearing.

You can watch the video again to hear the name of NGO. She mentions the name in the video.

 I am not gonna judge her based on the mere video but why would she go to Nepali media and Nepali law enforcement while she is already in US? I am not saying she can't go to Nepali folks but let's be honest. We all know how things work in Nepal. She need to a file a complaint here and get that dude prosecute. 
FYI: I didnt like the fact she wore a dress like that but lets leave that up to her.   

Many disliked her choice of clothes and many chose to judge her based on her clothes. If her story was fake, she would have been smart enough to wear other clothes and be more organized on her calculations and plans. That perhaps tell something about her being honest. And I used to wonder about the indians banning the use of mobile phones by women or the indian ministers blaming jeans or pizza for the rapes.

story does not look real to me. May be she is 100% true about her story but I dont really see it. She might have to go to the real authority with enought proof to support her story.

Stop blaming the victim. Makes me sick. Look at it this way if she was your sister would you still call her fake? Why do we always blame the victim? So grateful that I don't live in Nepal.

I am not taking anybody side but to call her a victim without a proof does not fit the scene. A person is not guilty untill proven in the court of law. How is she a victim until she goes to a right authority and prove it. She looks more like a model than a victim to me. 

Her stories might be fake. But biased judgements being made against her by looking at her clothes make me sick. I think it's wrong to judge her based on her clothes and the last poster has the wisdom to call her a model; have you browsed party pictures on sajha? It seems more people are ready to believe fake stories being orchestrated by conservatively dressed women than the real stories told by honest and modern dressed women.

Forget about her dress. The first world has a full provision and protection for women with story being told by the women in the video. There is no need to come on a third world internet TV living in the first world. Just contact the local authority and take care of the business. Why come on TV, may be she is just upset that her husband is not attracted to her anymore.

Well I was just responding to the post that said she is a victim. When one can say she is a victim than whats wrong calling her a model. Like I was saying, she need to go to the real authority and prove it. We can sit here and discuss all day long. Like everybody is saying she does not look legit. There is too many questions to her story or may be the whole story is not potrayed here in the video which is leading the viewers in different direction.

Metta, you chose to post such a story on sajha, so expect some level of criticism not only support. I found the story with many red flags. I cannot blindly support anybody without finding more truth on both sides. I came to realize that I am not the only one who have found the story a little murky. I think nobody is siding with the abuser and blaming Ms. Neelima. I personally encourage her to come forward and seek for more help by any means, if she is living in NC. I think she is smart enough to do that, when she is smart enough to go and speak on the Nepali TV. Isn't she smart?

nepali gharelu hinsa chha america ma tara nepali lai bhanera sahayog magna khojda nepaliharu le sahayo ta kata kura katera yek bata 10 ma purauchhan tyasaile manchhe bhitra bhitrai marera baseka chha. jau ta nepal kasari najauta garikhau yaha kasar.......

This should help to understand the complexity of the issues for the ones who have doubts on the above story.

Leslie Morgan Steiner: Why domestic violence victims don't leave

www.ted.com/talks/leslie_morgan_steiner_why_domestic_violence_victims_don_t_leave.html

This is a sad story. It sounds like these two are better get divorced. In such case, even children are better off if the parents divorce than if they stay together. Although I don't know them personally, I am sensing here that the situation is much much more complex than it seems it is. My observations are based on verious situations that some of my friends had to go through.
(1) Did she love him when they were living together?
Yes, she did.
(2) Did he cheat on her when they were living together?
Yes, he did.
A few years ago, her husband sent her U.S. to study. Now, she has college degree, a professional job, and U.S. legal status. Also, she has a new boyfriend (happened to be another nepali guy) and lives with her bf in neighbouring city along with her younger son. Currently, her husband is in U.S. too living with their elder son. I guess her husband still wants to apply for U.S. legal status being her spouse and some money along the way.

If you are a married woman then think about following:
1. What do you think if your husband cheat on you?
2. What do you do if your mother-in-law along with others don't like you and you don't have any choice? It's like living in a ghost house where everyone around you is your enemy.

If you are a married man then think about following:
1. What do you think if you send your wife to study aboard and later find her with someone else when you come to see her? (may be she is taking a revenge for what you and your family did to her, may be you are no longer handsome, may be her new bf has U.S. degree and you don't, may be her bf has longer than yours (:, may be all of the above).
2. What do you think if your wife (still not divorced ) stay with another guy and with his suggestions, she blames you and your family?
3. What do you think if you spend time and money for her and later she leaves you because she is now in better position and sees better career with other guy?

People, if you know them personally, let me know where my observations differ.