Bro, that's a tough situation. Sorry, I am not commenting with any preskription, I just want to say I hear you. This aspect of our culture always makes me think. Like one of my American friends (who spent many years in Asia) says, you guys don't live for yourself but you live for family and society. While it has a lot of merits, it costs people in individual basis like in your case.

Only observation I have in your future scenario is that is your current wife someone who would be able to get married or otherwise continue a moderately happy life if you divorce her? If that possibility strongly exists, I agree with the idea of your right to be happy.

Other observation is that compare the romantic relationship carefully. What seems like a heavenly world as a bf/gf sometimes does change once you become husband/wife as you start taking care of real situations. Grass is always greener on the other side. I don't know how deep/practical relation you have, but I've seen things change afterwards.

Aile kotha ma matra bhetni bela jun relationship ni ramro lagcha. Pchi bihe bhayera samaj ma hidda ko pressure ko bare sochau. Tyahi karan le jhagda pani huncha, samaj ma ijjat pani jancha.

Thank You Altij and terobau for your suggestions but terobau's comment made her uncomfortable and she wants me to remove it so taking it off thanks though!!

I think married life, plays very imp role in living happily but in Nepali context, married life sometimes just makes u money vending machine..be careful!! I wish when I get married I have this big banner saying happily married and it last forever.

if you dont mind, please share in detail how exter marital affair started, how long did it take to turn serious, what avenue do you have?

personally, what we think right about marriage and married life in general is what television showed us/parents in the 80s, and before.

example of before television marriage-

i asked my 94 years old relative how his parents got married?
he said in those days, guy would just ask - "आऊं छेस्?" and if girl say "हुन्छ" then bingo, married, sex,

it didnt matter if he had wife in the house; he could bring another wife, and it was totally acceptable.

but then television portrayed a different happy family and substracted / relegated extramarital affairs as sin.

there has been a change/acceptable; you dont have to marry to have sex anymore.

so my friend, the internet generation is coming and people like you and others including highly respected members of sociery, will see a different society where extra maritial affair will be as common as couple having sex before marriage.

to answer your question, please fake it till you make it. accept that it is ok for her to have extra martial affair as well, as long as she can hide it. try to fix it; or ten years later, you'll probably not think that extramaritial thing is not really that serious.m and laugh about your today's situation