In eighth grade, I had a secret crush. I had a secret crush on mathematics. Some of my classmates were good friends with it. They received excellent grades and earned decent respect. I too was determined to get its attention. I followed mathematics everywhere- in the classroom, into my recession. I thought about it when I went home and spent hours working on how to impress this handsome fellow who was always playing hard to get. Unfortunately for me, it never acknowledged my efforts. My nights were becoming sleepless. I was doing poorly in my other classes and had still failed to impress. But it was too soon to lose hope. One day a miracle happened. I invited a mutual friend, a maths tutor, to introduce me to mathematics. He agreed. Over my brief but intense relationship with maths, my tutor would take on a plethora of roles.
On a lovely Saturday evening, me and my tutor sat down in my study room with two cups of tea and said hello to maths. At first, it was not eager to embark on any sort of friendship with me. But I pushed harder. In the first hour, my tutor explained algebraic expressions. He said it was my turn try approach math by attempting to solve one of the problems. Suddenly my heart stopped beating. I felt like a solider embarking on a war. A war I had to win against all odds. I assured myself I was brave. I picked up my weapon, my HB2 pencil, and landed on the battlefield, the A4 size paper. I thought of a strategy to seduce this special enemy. First, I would write the whole problem down. Then, I would solve the first half and then attack the second. I thought of the moves I would play. It was a painful three and half minutes as I struggled to remember the directions given by my tutor, the army general, to solve the equation for x. Attack by dividing both sides by three. It cancels on the left and then I divide the right side by three. I fought in the battlefield like never before Voila! I won! Math was finally under my spell. I tried a few other problems and succeeded. Maths was feeling me. From that day on, math and I became inseparable. I went to school the next day as if I was returning victorious from a war. I insisted that I solve all the problems on the board. I smiled wryly as my classmates looked at me with awe. I became the new genius in the block. The chemistry between me and maths was just perfect.
But like all couples, we too faced problems. We got into intense fights. Sometimes as I listened to maths lectures, I would fail to understand its logic. There would be huge communication gaps between us. It was just plain unreasonable! After each fight, I tried to solve our problems internally but did not succeed. Frustrated, I arranged to see a couples’ therapist, my maths tutor. Sure, I had to pay this “therapist†a hefty sum each time for clearing things up between us, but it was worth it. As soon as the therapist left, I would be all over maths again –flipping through the off limit chapters, trying as many problems as possible…..soon those feelings of ecstasy would come rushing back.
My romantic relationship with maths that had started at the beginning of 9th grade lasted only two years. Even before that, I had sensed that math was distancing itself from me. I felt this was only a rough patch in our relationship and that it would soon be over. After all, we were destined to be together.
One evening, math pulled me aside and said, “We need do some soul searching.â€
-“What�
- “I am not sure if this is working for me anymore, you know. Me and you, I don’t see a future.â€
I was devastated. Although I was not surprised. Maths was acting rather strange lately.
-“Where is all this coming from? We were doing fine a few days ago!!â€
- “yeah….But I have been doing some thinking lately. You know I am maturing into calculus next year. I have grown up, you cannot treat me like pre-algebra anymore. Does not work that way. You will only hurt yourself if you keep pursuing me. â€
-“so now you have become too mature for me huh Mr.?â€
-“Well to be honest, I don’t think you can handle me. You are immature and childish. Other people are beginning to notice me, take “interest†in me. They are smarter, more intelligent than you.â€
-“oh…†I was trying hard not to cry.
-“Besides, the very foundation of our relationship was based on lies. You tricked me into thinking you were into me. You used your tutor’s help to seduce me. I suggest that you find someone else, someone that you genuinely love.â€
Saying so, Math turned around and left. I watched as it disappeared into the air and with it disappeared the chemistry I once thought was perfect. Although our relationship had ended, I could not avoid bumping into maths each day at school. Soon, my classmates noticed I was no longer the genius. For help, they began soliciting the new math whiz in our class, the kid that had stolen the only love I ever knew. I was forced to make peace with my status as a single lady.
Sometimes I see young men and women getting ecstatic over mathematics. They spend hours with it. They imagine their careers together. I wish them luck. I pray theirs is a more long-lasting and fulfilling relationship than I once had. You see, unlike maths’ claim, I too have grown up. I too have found other love interests. Life is good. But I have to admit, nothing as ever made me feel as special as maths did during those two years of romantic and passionate ride.
