dear  frens,
                       I LOVE THIS GUY A LOT. WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER FOR ALMOST 3 YEARS AND I REALLY AM IN LOVE WITH HIM... AS EVERY RELATIONSHIP HAS SOME UPS AND DOWNS MINE  DOES TOO ... WE SOMETIMES ARGUE AND DONT TALK FOR MAY BE COUPLE OF DAYS BUT EVENTUALLY EVERYTHIN GETS BACK TO NORMAL. BUT RECENTLY THINGS HAS TURNED OUT TO BE DIFFERENT... WE HAD A HUGE FIGHT AND HE TOLD ME THAT HE CANNOT STAY WITH ME NO LONGER. HE CANNOT THINK ABT MARRYIN ME WHEN HE IS NOT HAPPY AT ALL.. THAT IM ALL FULL OF SHIT AND WHAT NOT....I WAS ALL BROKEN DOWN BUT THEN AS USUAL EVERYTHIN IS BACK TO NORMAL.. I FORGAVE HIM WHEN HE DIDNT EVEN FELT SORRY... WE ARE STILL TOGETHER BUT I STILL AM REALLY VERY HURT.. HOW CAN HE SAY THOSE THINGS TO ME WHEN HE KNWS I CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT HIM.... ( WELL I CAN I KNW IF I TRY BUT I REALLY DONT WANNA TRY) I AM JUST SCARED TO LOOSE HIM... HE IS THE 1ST GUY I GAVE MY EVERYTHIN TO ... HE IS THE 1ST GUY THAT I LOVED TRULY MADLY AND DEEPLY... BUT KHOI KINA HO KINA I REALLY AM REALLY HURT AND CANNOT GET OVER WHAT HE SAID.... WE ARE STILL TOGETHER AND I AM WONDERIN AFTER SAYIN ALL THOSE THINGS TO ME WHY IS HE STILL WITH ME... I AM SO ALONE AND I DONT WANNA SHARE THIS WITH ANYONE THAT I KNW...
 I REALLY NEED A TRUE SUGGESTION IF ANYONE WANTS TO GIVE ONE.. PLZ A TRUE ADVICE NO BS PLZ....
I REALLY WILL APPRECIATE UR ADVICE
THANKS

"DUMP" him and FIND someone who treats you like a princess...:):)
Life is so not worth crying over someone who doesn't care... Being with someone who treats you like a crap, says whatever he feels like and doesn't even feel sorry for it, that's like disrespecting yourself . You should know how much you worth and who is worthy enough to have you. Just turn around and you will see hundred faces smiling at you, dying to be with you.

thanks saajan and girly gurl and everyone who gave their advice to me.. i really appreciate and i will try to let him go as i mentioned earlier. but its jus hard.  when u (saajan) said " if he/she is not willing to give you all those meanings of relationship then its best to move on coz its better to be hurt for a while than being hurt for the rest of your life..." that is so true but im so scared to take that 1st step..... i wonder what people will think and what will i do without him in my life.. im really depressed and i really need some support and i thank u all for atleast writin all the things which i some way makes me feel better..

It is hard to give any comment.

But what is ur parents thinking about you when you will get married. Talk to your parents that you need to get married, and stop that old relationship and be free do not bring any such relationship, do not take chance.

I would say ask him one day when you both are close and make it clear will he marry you or not . If not then Stop that relationship you will get some one better then him.

When you get the idea that he is no more intrested on him. Then just be with him and focus on ur carrier, and ur future and when you get better job any where just go. and from there you will cut him. but make sure if you meet him then do not let your self back to the past.

If you have good job your level of confidence will be high and then u will select the boys not the boys will select you. 

 

 

alina, i somehow know how u feel @ this point. your posting was pretty much why i signed up for an account here in sajha. i've been thru this and can relate myself to you.
 i know it'll probably be the hardest thing you've ever done in ur life. but trust me...u'll get over it. try n be strong and keep working on ur life-goals....such as academic, financial and professional goals. these are the things why u came here initially, isn't it??? giving all up for just a boy? nah...
 i thought i'd die too when i left him. the pain was so unbearable but yet i made it. came out of that depressive state. u can do it too. keep believing in urself and working on your goals. imp thing is to stick to your friends, make some more friends and live your life.
alina, make him realise your no joke. not a timepass. everything said and done, make sure your doing it for you.
will take a lil time, but sooner or later you'll find out you can actually live comfortably even without him.

some tips: pamper self, try to excel @work/school, stay busy, try work-outs...it's very imp to stay in shape and look pretty...you'll get more compliments n hence will up your confidence. and do not(i mean do not) stay home cuddled up in bed....get out of that bed and socialize!!

hya alina tension naleu,,, main hoon na..

If I were u. I would drill him  by askin what he meant by that. You should ask him sternly if he really meant it or he just said it in the heat of the moment. If he did mean that he doesnt wanna be wt u, I see no point why u wanna stick around wt a guy who doesnt even love u. You can do better.

Alina,

Considering the nature of the post, I am led to believe that you are very young. Half a decade later you would presumably regret that you happened to post this in sajha. We are not shrinks, and other than empathizing with you in your so called condition we cannot be of any help to you. Talking about empathy, I do not know  both you and your boyfriend, perhaps you are right about your side of the story but then perhaps he is right too. If he is a whimsical and impulsive individual you could also be an materialism zealot or an effusively sentimental girly girl who gets into his nerves all the time.

I have been brutally honest, I apologize if it hurts you. But these posts only evoke unnecessary sympathies from others or lewd comments from people like Nas.

Alina

Forget relationships and learn how to relate.

Once you are in a relationship you start taking each other for granted– that's what destroys all love affairs. The woman thinks she knows the man, the man thinks he knows the woman. Nobody knows either! It is impossible to know the other, the other remains a mystery. And to take the other for granted is insulting, disrespectful.

To think that you know your MAN is very, very ungrateful. How can you know the MAN?  They are processes, they are not things. The MAN that you knew yesterday is not there today. So much water has gone down the Ganges; HE is somebody else, totally different. Relate again, start again, don't take it for granted.

And the man that you slept with last night, look at his face again in the morning. He is no more the same person, so much has changed. So much, incalculably much has changed. That is the difference between a thing and a person. The furniture in the room is the same, but the man and the woman, they are no more the same. Explore again, start again. That's what I mean by relating.

Relating means you are always starting, you are continuously trying to become acquainted. Again and again, you are introducing yourself to each other. You are trying to see the many facets of the other's personality. You are trying to penetrate deeper and deeper into his realm of inner feelings, into the deep recesses of his being. You are trying to unravel a mystery which cannot be unraveled. That is the joy of love: the exploration of consciousness.

It is difficult to comment on your story unless I hear story from your man. Because you present your story with your point of view and try make yourself innocent. However, the same story may be different if we listen from your guy.

I heard people saying dump him, drill him and so on. But hey do we know the whole story. I am not saying alina you are telling lie.

But most girl do present themselves as if they are the nice one and guys are the bad one.  

hey u have been in the relationship for almost 3 yrs now, in these 3 yrs u must have known him very well, was he like that forever or changed just now..........if u really want to solve ur problem..........then go straight to him........talk to him.......make him feel sorry for what he had done.....
.
if u try to run away problems will never stop chasing u...so face it........
u think all this suggestion from people will help u but let me tell u one thing u will ultimately end up doing what u really want....so figure out ur real need.....and give ur best to it.....getting rid of the relationship is not the solution to the problem

have a good self esteem yar...........if u think u r not the kind of gurl that a guy wants to meet his parents then........u really r not......beacuse u r not really allowing urself to be that..............
good luck for ur life babe!!!!!!!.

Wow,

Sajha is turning into somekind of an Oprah show. Well, for better or worse, keep it up

Hello Alina,

I just read your story and couldn't help myself to reply to the post...Every thing has two side of the story and reading yours it seems like you are arrogant and bossy.
You actually don't care about others feelings..It also seems like you are living with this guy not because you love him but also you have nowhere else to go..I don't know you personally
but I can tell because of your bossy nature he is nomore intrested in you...I also beleive he is tolerating you with all the strength and he wants to make this relation works...but its you
who don't care about his feelings..like every other girl you bring up things from past and fuss and fight about it..


This is my philosophy towards the girl like you...

you treat guys like they are dough

pitho jasari muscha ni ho testei...
pelyo pelyo musyo musyo ani tespachi yeso heryo flat bahko chaina bahnne pheri pityo

Hope that helps

SlickTickle

GIVE HIM SOME SEX AND SEE IF IT CHANGES RELATIONSHIP.

GIVE HIM SOME SEX AND SEE IF IT BRINGS CHANGES TO YOUR RELATIONSHIP.

"then go straight to him........talk to him.......make him feel sorry for what he had done....."

@ gurl_power

"Make him feel sorry"??? wtf !! That's the main reason relations don't work...Why do boys have to say sorry even if he didn't do anything?? i don't get this...I bet you are still single..

 

SlickTickle

Ram Prasad Neupane. What do you mean by personal experience ? Were you girl and had sex transplant.

Ani 6 month purano post lai advice di rakhnu pardaina. She must have chnaged the boyfriend by now.

 

@ no_quiero

Its clear as water...he is/was in relationship and he had to deal with his GF's BS everytime..
As most of us guys do...

And secondly,

I am 900% sure that she hasn't changed her boyfriend...she is probably still with him..giving hime hard time and bs
That kinda a girl is like a super glue...once you get stuck you are stuck for ever..And they will suck man's blood unless he is all drained out..


Since she is bossy and arrogant she probably doesn't have any friend and she shares her things online/...

Life is a bitch..

 

slicktickle

EsTiKal Bro
Aafule 6 mahinaa puraano chapki khojera , kotyaauna hune!
hamlne ni yesso chilaaye ta thikai holaa ni,
tyaso gare kaso holaa?